Hirohito's Letter To Hitler
1945.
Dear Hitler, I'm writing this letter
Hoping you get it somewhere
I used to address you in Berlin
But now there's no post office there
I'm anxious to know how you're doing
And will it be much longer yet
'Til you send the help that you promised
'Cause I'm gonna need all I can get
You're great intuition should tell you
We'd better do something durn quick
I think I hear ancestors laughing
Oh Adolf, I really am sick
You told me the Yankees were lazy
And all too complacent to fight
You told me to strike at Pearl Harbor
And we'd rule the world overnight
But Yankees are very queer people
And we don't know just what to do
My soldiers call out, "Yank, surrender"
And they yell right back, "Nerts to you!"
There's one other problem that irks me
It's known as the B-29
And what do they mean by the 8-ball
They say they have got us behind?
Please pardon me asking these questions
But I can't help wondering now
If you stayed too long in that beer hall
And miscalculated somehow?
You promised we'd meet in the White House
And oh, how I dreamed of that hour
But the Yanks have their own secret weapon
They call it the "Ike Eisenhower"
If I had just thirty years longer
I think I could whip Shiang Kai Shek
But this man MacArthur annoys me
Can't you take him off of my neck?
P.S., as you gaze in your crystal
To learn what the future will be
When Joe Stalin's face comes before you
Find out how he feels about me
There are some interesting things in this song. One refers to help promised by Hitler to Japan, help which never actually materialized in any large manner. The part about Hitler telling Hirohito to strike at Pearl Harbor is wrong, of course, since that was a Japanese plan all the way. Also, the idea of the Yankees being lazy and spoiled was the way the Japanese thought about Americans at the time.
The B-29's were bombing Japan into ruins. The idea of meeting in the White House actually refers to a statement attributed to Yamamoto that surrender terms would be dictated at the White House (which, as it turned out, was true, but not in the way he expected.)
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