Not Ranma 1/2 (part 2 of 3)

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Andy Wennersten

Back to Part 1


vol 1 part 2

Lemon Tea


------------------------------------------------


The birds chirped as the sun rose over the Tendo

Dojo.


Nabiki yawned and opened her eyes to see Ranko

sleeping peacefully next to her. She gently nudged the girl in

an effort to wake her.


Ranko moaned and rolled over. "I don't wanna go

to school today." she said in her sleep.


Nabiki giggled and nudged her harder.


Ranko moaned louder and rolled onto her back.

"Go away, Yoiko. We're supposed to be on vacation." she

said, still asleep.


Nabiki was faintly annoyed at being mistaken for

another woman. She was tempted to push Ranko off the

bed and onto the floor, but came up with a better idea.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Nabiki said and gave her a

kiss.


Ranko smiled and opened her eyes. "Good morning,

Love." she said.


"That depends. Why did you think Yoiko was

waking you?" Nabiki asked with a serious look on her face.


"Err...it's not what you think." Ranko said. "She's

usually the one that has to drag me out of bed."


"Relax, Ranko, baby." Nabiki said with a grin.

"You're past love life doesn't bother me. Actually, I think

it's kind of a turn on."


"Hate to disappoint you." Ranko said. "Yoiko is

one of the most heterosexual people I know."


"Homophobic?" Nabiki asked.


"We wouldn't be friends if she was." Ranko replied.

"It doesn't bother her that I like girls as well as guys. It's

just not something she would ever want to do."


"What about you as a guy?" Nabiki asked.


"If we were strangers, maybe." Ranko answered.

"But since we've known each other since we were children,

she'll always think of me as a girl."


"Probably just as well." Nabiki said. :If her reaction

to the opposite sex is anything like Ryoga's, then taking her

virginity will prove difficult."


"Oh, I solved that problem." Ranko said offhandedly.

"No more nosebleeds for her."


"You mean she's not a virgin!" Nabiki said. "Wait a

minute. I thought you said she's got the hots for Kuno.

What will her boyfriend think?"


"What boyfriend? It was a one night stand." Ranko

said.


"So how did you calm her down enough to get

fucked?" Nabiki asked.


"It's amazing what you can do with pressure points."

Ranko said with a grin. "Care for a demonstration?"


"I'll have to take a raincheck." Nabiki answered. "I

got to get back in my own bedroom before anyone notices."


'You're saying we got to keep it a secret?!?" Ranko

said with a hurt look on her face.


"It's not that I don't love you. It's just that I can't go

say 'Hi, Daddy. Ranko and I are in love. Hope you don't

mind that we're both girls.' The shock might kill him. Or

me."


"I see your point." Ranko said. "Okay, for now it's

our secret. But don't expect me to go to any great lengths

to keep it."


"Good enough for me." Nabiki said and gathered up

her clothes. She opened up the door to find herself face to

face with Kasumii.


"Oh, my!" Kasumii said.


"Oh, hell." Nabiki said.


"Oh, shit." Ranko said.


"Nabiki, please tell me you haven't been doing what

I think you've been doing." Kasumii said, her eyes darting

back and forth between the two naked girls.


"Um...well..." For the first time in her life, Nabiki

couldn't think of what to say.


"I think Father will want to hear about this."

Kasumii said and started to head towards Soun's room.


"Wait! You can't!" Nabiki yelled.


"Why not?" Kasumii asked.


"Kasumii, you're one of only three people that I

truly respect. So don't make me do something I'll regret."

Nabiki said.


"Like what?" Kasumii asked.


"Like Mayaka." Nabiki answered.


Kasumii froze in her tracks. "You wouldn't."


"If you tell Daddy about my love life, then I'll tell

him about yours."


"Very well. I'll overlook this 'incident'." Kasumii

said with a defeated tone.


"And any others." Nabiki added.


"On one condition. How did you find out about me

and Mayaka?" Kasumii asked.


"You and she did a good job of keeping your

relationship a secret. But you were careless at her

graduation party."


"That was our last time together."


"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Nabiki said.


"It's not important." Kasumii said. "I suggest both

of you take baths before breakfast. Separately, if you don't

mind. Ranko, I'll speak with you later." Then she left to

take care of her chores.


"Nabiki?" Ranko asked. "Let me see if I got this

straight. Mayaka is..."


"Kasumii's girlfriend from high school." Nabiki

replied.


"Kasumii...and another woman? Now that's

something I wouldn't have expected."


"I was as surprised as you." Nabiki said. "But, like

I said, I respect her, so I didn't want to use that information

unless absolutely necessary."


"You said you only respect three people?"


"Until I met you it was two people." Nabiki said

with a grin.


"I'm flattered." Ranko said. "Who's the third

person?"


"Nad..." Nabiki stopped herself. Ranko wasn't

supposed to know about Nadoka. "Err...I mean Nabiki.

Me, that is."


"Ooh, self respect. I like that in my women."

Ranko said.


"I'm not your woman. If anything, you're mine."

Nabiki said coldly.


"It was just an expression."


"I know, I'm just teasing." Nabiki said, smiling.

"Well, I get the bathroom first. I'll call you when I'm done."


Ranko watched as Nabiki left. She then went to the

window to let in the morning air. Upon opening the

window she heard the sounds of a battle in the yard below.


"What the hell!" Ranko said as she saw what looked

like her father and brother beating the crap out of each

other.


Meanwhile, down in the yard, Ranma and Genma

were sparing as they do every morning. They leaped across

the pond at each other, throwing punches and kicks with

each pass.


"Didn't we so through this yesterday, old man."

Ranma said, landing on the far side of the pond.


"And we'll do it every day! I can't have you wasting

your time off of school, now can I?" Genma yelled, landing

on the side of the pond closest to the house.


"Child abuser!" Ranko yelled, planting a kick into

Genma's back and knocking him into the pond.


"Way to go, Sis!" Ranma yelled, hopping across the

pond and landing next to her.


"What the fuck was that all about?" Ranko asked.


"Just his idea of training." Ranma answered.


Panda then emerged from the pond. Enraged, he

lunged toward his children, grabbing them and tossing them

toward the water. Ranma landed with a splash. Ranko,

however, stopped in midair and stood floating a foot above

the surface of the water.


"Nya, Nya! Can't get me!" Ranko yelled.


[Don't get cocky!] Panda signed.


"If I land in the pond, I'll get real cocky!" Ranko

said with a grin.


"Mind giving me a hand?" Ranma-chan said and

grabbed Ranko's ankle.


"No!" Ranko yelled. The moment Ranma made

contact, she dropped like a rock into the pond.


"Sorry." Ranma said to a soaked Ranko-kun.


"It's okay. I just need to take a bath now." he said.

"Care to join me?"


"I can't take a bath with a girl!" Ranma yelled.


"Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm your sister."

Ranko said and looked down at his body. "Or brother, as

the case may be."


"Well, I still pass." Ranma said.


"Your loss." Ranko said and walked into the house.


After waking up, Akane left her room and found

Ranko standing outside the bathroom.


"Ranma?" Akane said.


"Nope." Ranko said. "Green eyes, remember?"


"Sorry, Ranko." Akane said. "I'm just not used to

seeing you as a guy."


"That's okay. Besides, Ranma wouldn't be a guy if

he was wet like I am." he replied.


"What happened, anyway?" Akane asked.


"Dad and Ranma were fighting and I sorta jumped

into the fray." Ranko replied.


Akane giggled. "Well, I've learned to let them go at

it and they'll finish eventually."


"Yeah. Well, now I'm stuck waiting for Nabiki to

get done with her bath."


"I thought she took a bath before she went to bed

last night." Akane said. "Why does she need one now?"


"Let's just say she had a busy night." Ranko said

while trying to keep a straight face.


"Huh?" Akane looked puzzled.


"Never mind." Ranko said. "How lone does she

usually take?"


"She usually doesn't come out unless you make it

worth her while." Akane replied.


"You just lost me."


"I'll show you." Akane ran to her room and returned

with a wad of cash. "Watch." she said and slid a hundred

yen note under the door.


"You'll have to do better than that." Nabiki said

from the other side of the door.


Akane grumbled and slid a five hundred yen note

under the door. Five seconds later Nabiki appeared with a

towel wrapped around her body.


"All yours." she said and ran off to her room.


Ranko smiled, then saw Akane's irritated look.

"Relax." he said. "I'll buy you lunch later."


"It's a deal. Enjoy your bath." she said and headed

downstairs.


Ranko entered the changing room and stripped off

his T-shirt and boxers. He saw his reflection in the mirror

and flexed his muscles. "Yep, I'm a stud." he said, then

looked down at his crotch to see that he was getting

aroused. "As much fun as you were last night, now is not

the time."


In the bathroom, Ranko filled a bucket of warm

water and poured it over his head. He sighed as he felt the

change in her body. The sensations were quite pleasurable,

provided that she expected it instead of being surprised.

After lathering up and rinsing off, she lowered her body into

the furo. She leaned back and closed her eyes, letting the

hot water relax her muscles.


*Creak*


Ranko heard the bathroom door open and someone

enter.


"Change your mind?" she asked without opening

her eyes.


"About what?" Kasumii asked.


Ranko's eyes snapped open and she jerked her head

around to see Kasumii standing naked before her.


"Kasumii! What are you doing?!" Ranko yelled.


"Taking a bath." Kasumii stated simply.


"Err...you want I should leave?" Ranko asked.


"No We need to talk and this way we can get some

privacy." Kasumii said as she washed up and rinsed off.


"Okay." Ranko said, moving over so Kasumii could

get in the furo. "This is about me and Nabiki, right?"


"No. This is about you and my family, but we can

start with Nabiki." Kasumii replied.


"You're going to chew me out now, aren't you?"

Ranko said with and ashamed look on her face.


"No. As Nabiki reminded me earlier, love between

two women, while not socially acceptable, is not something

you can prevent." Kasumii said. "You do love her, right?"


"With all my heart." Ranko answered with

determination.


"Can you keep this love a secret?" Kasumii asked.


"I've been through this with Nabiki." Ranko said. "I

don't like to hide my feelings if I don't have to."


"In this case you have to." Kasumii said. "My

father can tend to over react in regards to. the welfare of his

daughters, and I think your father would be the same."


"So don't tell our Dad's, right?" Ranko asked.


"Right." Kasumii answered.


"But I can tell other people, right?" Ranko asked.


"Provided you can trust them." Kasumii answered.


Ranko gave a relieved sigh. "Good. I'd hate to have

to keep this a secret from Ranma."


"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you

about."


"You don't want to tell my own brother?!?" Ranko

was shocked.


"Actually, I was going to insist that you do tell him."


"Huh?"


Ranma has had his curse for a while, but still has

trouble adjusting." Kasumii replied. "You seem

comfortable with your curse, so I'd like you to help him

deal with his. After all, you're the only one who really

understands what he's going through."


"Yeah, I can see how he might think of himself as less

than manly. I sure didn't feel very feminine after I fell in that

spring. But, being bisexual helped me adjust quickly."


"I'd rather you not suggest that Ranma sleep with

any men."


"Of course not." Ranko said. "I was having sex

with women before Jusenkyo, So turning into a guy is just

a new way of doing things. I just have to explain to Ranma

that he can love a woman just as well when he's female."


"Before you do that you should talk to Akane."

Kasumii said.


"Why?" Ranko asked.


"Well, she seems to think that Ranma is a pervert

because he can change gender." Kasumii replied. "I'd like

you to explain to her that the curse doesn't do that."


"Believe me, I know how some people can think

that. Especially with my behavior sometimes. But that has

nothing to do the curse so Akane won't have to worry."


"That's good." Kasumii said with a smile.


"Kasumii?"


"Yes, Ranko?"


"If it's not too personal, Can you tell me who this

Mayaka person that Nabiki mentioned is."


Kasumii lost her smile. "Yes, it is too personal.

Maybe someday, but not now."


"Sorry."


"That's okay." Kasumii said, her smile returning.

"Well, it's about time I started breakfast." she said.

Suddenly the water started churning and a whirlpool formed

in the center of the furo.


"Oh, no." Ranko said.


"Ranko, what's happening?" Kasumii asked with a

frightened tone.


"You don't wanna know." Ranko replied.


The whirlpool continued for a few minutes, and then

the water started to glow as a young girl hopped out of the

vortex and floated above the tub.


"Hi, there!" Skuld yelled.


"Damn it, Skuld!" Ranko yelled. "You sure have a

shitty sense of timing!"


"Hmm." Skuld turned around to see Kasumii doing

her best impersonation of a deer frozen in headlights. "Did I

interrupt an intimate moment. Geez, you don't waste time,

do you? It's only been a day."


"No, you didn't interrupt anything. But having

someone just appear out of your bath can be pretty

unnerving." Ranko said. "Now would you please stop

floating there and give her time to recover."


"Friend of yours?" Kasumii asked, Having regained

her senses somewhat."


"Yep. Kasumii Tendo, meet the goddess Skuld."


"Pleased to meet you." Skuld said, having finally set

her feet on the floor by the furo."


"Likewise." Kasumii replied. "Oh! I've got to start

breakfast. Will you be joining us, Skuld?"


"Can I?" Skuld asked.


"Of course." Kasumii replied as she got out of the

furo and wrapped a towel around her body. "Ranko, it's

best that you finish your bath soon."


"You got it." Ranko said and grabbed a towel.


After Kasumii left Skuld turned to Ranko. "You

sure you weren't doing anything before I got here?"


"Just having a peaceful conversation." Ranko said

and then whispered in her ear. "To be honest, I'm more

interested in her sister."


"What is it with you and girls?"


"Relax, kid. It's just one of those things."


"Don't call me a kid! We're the same age you

know."


"Physically, maybe. But when it comes to

immaturity, you've got me outclassed."


"And don't you forget it." Skuld replied, and then

realized what she just said. "Hey, wait a min..."


"C'mon. I'll show you my room." Ranko said and

went to open the bathroom door.


"Sweeto!" Happosai yelled as he leaped forward and

glomped onto Ranko's breasts, pulling her towel off in the

process.


"Aaaahhh! A virus!" Skuld screamed.


"ooohh...yeah..." Ranko moaned as Happosai

continued to fondle her.


"Ranko! Don't move!" Skuld yelled and pulled

Mjonor, her trusty mallet, off her back.


"huh?...no...don't..." Ranko said weakly.


*Bash*


Skuld slammed her hammer into Happosai's skull,

knocking him to the ground.


"Hey! I was enjoying that!" Ranko yelled.


"Hmm?" Skuld said as she examined the heap at

Ranko's feet. "I thought they were supposed to disappear

when I hit them."


Suddenly Happosai's eyes snapped open. "Pretty

lady!" he yelled and glomped onto Skuld.


"Aaaah! Help!" Skuld screamed.


"Hey, buddy! You mind finishing with me first!"

Ranko yelled and tried to peel the old man off the goddess.


"Ranma, my boy! Glad to see you're finally come to

appreciate the finer things in life!" Happosai yelled and leaped

toward Ranko, colliding with Ranma-chan's fist.


"Leave my sister alone, freak!" Ranma yelled.


"Honestly. A girl can't get a cheap thrill around this

place." Ranko sounded annoyed as she covered herself with

her towel.


"I got him!" Skuld yelled.


*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*


"Skuld." Ranko said.


*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*


"Skuld!" Ranko yelled.


*Bash* *Bash* *Bash*


"SKULD!!!" Ranko screamed.


"What!" Skuld yelled.


"I think you got him."


"But...he's supposed to disappear."


"Get it through your thick skull that he's not a virus.

He's a human!" Ranko looked down at the broken and

bloody mass. "Or at least, he used to be."


"Don't worry, it takes more than that to kill him."

Ranma said. "Believe me, I've tried."


"Ranko?" Skuld asked. "Why are their two of you?"


"There aren't." Ranko said. "This is Ranma."


"But Ranma's your brother." Skuld said.


"He is." Ranko replied "Apparently gender bending

runs in the family."


[Does not!] Panda signed as he, Soun, Akane, and

Nabiki appeared in the hall.


"What's all the noise?" Soun asked.


"Apparently, Happosai attacked Ranko and her friend

beat him to a pulp." Ranma answered.


[Really?] Panda signed.


Soun grabbed Skuld's hand and shook it heartily.

"Thank you, young lady. You are a godsend."


"No, I'm a goddess." Skuld said.


"You're a what?" Akane asked.


"Let me guess. You're one of Urd's sisters, right?"

Nabiki asked.


"Unfortunately." Skuld replied.


"What's that supposed to mean?" Nabiki asked.


"Never mind her." Ranko said. "She and Urd don't

exactly get along."


"Only because she's arrogant and selfish and violent

and pushy and impulsive and..."


"Hey!" Ranko yelled. "That's my mentor you're

talking about!"


"Well it's true." Skuld said.


"So their really is an Urd?" Akane asked.


"Of course." Ranko answered. "Only a complete

psycho would make up a story like that."


"Yeah." Skuld said. "Ranko's only partially

psychotic."


"Hey!" Ranko yelled.


"That's what you get for calling me thick skulled."

Skuld said with a grin.


"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Happosai asked

from the floor.


"Aaaahhh!" Skuld screamed. "It's alive!" She

swung her hammer down at him.


"Sorry, cutie. I don't fall for the same trick twice."

Happosai said as he stopped Mjonor with one finger.

"Now, Soun, Genma. You have some explaining to do."


[Her fault.] Panda signed and pointed at Skuld.


"Yes. She did it." Soun said." We would never

dream of beating the crap out of you, Master."


"Not that, stupid!" Happosai said and smacked

them both in the head. "I mean them." He pointed at Ranma

and Ranko.


[That's my daughter.] Panda signed.


"You don't have a daughter." Happosai said.


"He does now." Ranko said. "Ranko Saotome, at

your service."


"That's the right idea." Happosai said and leaped

toward her.


"Oh no you don't." she said and raised her hand,

summoning an invisible wall and stopping Happy in mid

glomp. "Sorry, the mood's been ruined."


"Breakfast!" Kasumii called from downstairs.


"Oh, crap!" Ranma said as she and Panda forced

their way into the bathroom to change to their uncursed

forms.


"Oh, I've got to get dressed." Ranko said and ran to

her room.


"Um...which way to the dining room?" Skuld asked.


A little while later at the dining room table, everyone

gazed in wonder at the feast that Kasumii had prepared.


"Wow!" Skuld said.


"What a spread!" Ranma exclaimed.


"Are all your breakfast's this big, Kasumii?" Ranko

asked.


"No. I just felt guilty because this is the only meal

I'm cooking today." she answered.


"No lunch or dinner?" Ranma asked.


"Oh, did I forget to tell you? Cologne called and

said she wanted you and Ranko to stop by her restaurant

later today. I figured that you could take Nabiki and Akane

with you and have lunch while you're there." Kasumii

replied.


"But, what about dinner?" Ranma asked.


"I've got dinner covered." Akane said.


"Too bad I've got concert tickets with my friends

tonight." Nabiki said with a grin.


"You knew about this, and you didn't warn me!"

Ranma yelled.


"I would have if I thought I'd get anything out of it."

Nabiki replied. "Now, if you want at least one good meal

today, you'd better dig in."


Ranma turned to see Soun, Genma, Skuld, and

Ranko devouring the food. Happosai disappeared at the

first mention of Akane's cooking.


"Amazing." Skuld said. "This is almost as good as

Belldandy's cooking."


"Who?" Akane asked.


"My big sister." Skuld answered.


"Does she think she's a goddess, too?" Akane

asked.


"What do you mean 'think'!" Skuld yelled and

reached for one of her grenades.


"Relax, Skuld." Ranko said. "She's just a little

skeptical."


"Humans can be such a pain sometimes." Skuld

said, sounding annoyed.


"Hey! I'm human!" Ranko yelled.


"Only until you get your qualification." Skuld

replied.


"Do I even want to know?" Akane asked.


"Probably not." Ranko replied. She turned around

to see Genma stealing food from her plate. "Hey! Don't

make me freeze you again."


"Ranko!" Skuld yelled. "You know what happens

when you use too much magic"


"What happens?" Nabiki asked.


"Er...let's just say that my batteries run down, and

the rest ain't pretty."


"I shouldn't have asked, should I?" Nabiki asked.


"Nope." Ranko replied.


"You wouldn't have this problem if you had

something simple for a power source, Ranko." Skuld said.


"Not all of us can stop by Haagen Dazs to get a

recharge." she replied.


"Would you two stop it." Akane said. "You're

giving me a headache."


"Okay, back to normal conversation." Ranko said.

" So, you really think Kasumii's cooking is as good as

Belldandy's"


"You bet." Skuld said.


"I'm flattered." Kasumii said.


"I have to invite you over to our house so you and

she can trade recipes." Skuld said.


"Okay." Kasumii replied.


The rest of breakfast went by without incident.

After the meal, Nabiki and Skuld went with Ranko up to her

room.


"Hey, Skuld." Ranko said. "I thought you were

gonna bring my stuff with you."


"I did." Skuld said and pulled out a metal ball with

loops of cable sticking out of it.


"Nabiki! Get down!" Ranko yelled and they both

jumped behind the bed.


"Ranko. You can come out now." Skuld said.

"This isn't a bomb."


"Then what is it?" Ranko asked as she peeked out

from behind the bed.


"It's my latest invention, Mister Matter

Compressor."


"Huh?" Nabiki said.


"Watch." Skuld said and tossed the ball on the bed.

There was a flash of light and suddenly they found

themselves surrounded by boxes.


"Impressive." Nabiki said.


"You know, Skuld. You could have made more

than one trip." Ranko said.


"And let my talents go to waste?" she replied with a

grin.


"What's in all these boxes, anyway? Nabiki asked.


"What's written on them?" Ranko asked.


"Well, these two say 'His' and 'Hers'." Nabiki said,

pointing to two small boxes.


"Let's see." Ranko said and opened the boxes.

"That's my male and female wardrobe."


"Here, let me help." Nabiki said and they took the

clothes and hung them in the closet. "You know, for a

teenage girl, you don't have much in the way of clothes."


Ranko looked in the closet and saw that it was half

empty. "Maybe you're right. You'll have to take me

shopping sometime."


"And where will you get the money for all the things

you'll need?" Nabiki asked.


"I'm not a freeloading house guest. Here." Ranko

said and pulled a savings account passbook out of a box and

handed it to Nabiki.


Nabiki's eyes grew wide as she looked at the

amount in the passbook. "My god. There's over twenty

million yen in here. Did I mention how much I love you?"


"You mean she's the one you're interested in?" Skuld

asked Ranko.


"Yep." Ranko answered, and then remembered

what Kasumii told her. "Don't tell our dads, okay?"


"Okay." Skuld replied.


"What's in this box? Nabiki said, pointing to a box

marked 'Potions'.


"Those, my love, are the weapons of choice for a

love goddess like me." Ranko said and opened up the box.

She removed a box marked 'Lemon Tea' and

absentmindedly set it on top of the box marked 'Kitchen'.

Then she removed a few more boxes and bottles until she

found what she was looking for. "Ah! There they are."


"There what are?" Nabiki asked.


"Here. Suck on this, but don't swallow." Ranko

said and handed her what looked like a jawbreaker.


"That's not what you said last night." Nabiki said

with a grin and popped the candy in her mouth. "Okay,

now what?" she asked.


"Now this." Ranko said and poked Nabiki in the

nose with her index finger.


"Aaahh!" Nabiki yelled as her body shook with a

powerful orgasm.


"I was good, wasn't I?" Ranko said with a grin.


"Wow." Nabiki said and spit out the candy. "What

is that stuff?"


"Just a little something I designed." Ranko said with

pride. "Any human contact will cause similar results. Of

course, if you swallow the jawbreaker the effects will last

untill it's digested."


"Thanks for the warning." Nabiki said.


"Are you two through having fun yet?" Skuld asked

with an irritated tone.


"That reminds me." Ranko said. "Is my toy chest

around here somewhere?"


"Yeah, over there." Skuld said and pointed to the

box marked 'Toys'.


"Aren't you a little old for toys?" Nabiki asked and

opened the box. Inside were assorted vibrators and strap

ons and other sex toys. "Oh. Never mind."


"Speaking of toys, there's your computer." Skuld

said and pointed to the box marked 'Computer'.


"I thought I broke it." Ranko said.


"Only because you erased half the files so you could

play Might and Magic." Skuld said. "I upgraded it so now

you have five million gigabytes of memory. Use that up and

you're on your own."


"What's in this?" Nabiki said and pointed to a box

with a label in a language she couldn't read.


"It says 'Equipment'." Ranko said.


"What language is that?" Nabiki asked as she stared

at the writing. It looks like some kind of futuristic

hieroglyphs."


"It is the divine language." Skuld said.


"Which means you added this to my stuff." Ranko

said. "Okay, fess up. What's in the box?"


"Glad you asked, James." Skuld said with a smile.


"James?" Nabiki asked.


"Bond." Ranko replied.


"Huh? Oh, I get it." Nabiki said.


"Ahem." Skuld broke in. "If I may."


"Okay." Ranko said. "What do you got."


"The first item I have for you is this." Skuld said

and held up a small black cylinder with a red button on one

end.


"What does it do?" Ranko asked.


"This." Skuld said. She grabbed Ranko's right hand

and pressed one end of the cylinder against her palm. Than

she pushed the red button on the other end.


"Yeow!" Ranko yelled as a sharp pain shot through

her hand. "What was that for!"


"You now have a hammerspace manipulator

implant." Skuld stated.


"A hammer what?" Nabiki asked.


"Hammerspace manipulator." Skuld said. "It allows

her to send and retrieve objects from a pocket dimension I

discovered."


"Why 'hammerspace'?" Nabiki asked.


"When I was little I wondered why some people

could pull mallets from thin air." Skuld explained. "I

eventually stumbled onto a small dimension with all these

hammers floating around. It's where I found Mjonor."


"Enough with the history!" Ranko yelled. "That

doesn't explain why I'm in pain here!"


"Does it still hurt?" Skuld asked.


"Ye...no. The pain's gone." Ranko examined her

hand. "Cool. No scars. So, what did you say this thing

does?"


Skuld sighed. "Weren't you paying attention.

Here." She grabbed a bottle off the bed and handed it to

Ranko.


"What am I supposed to do with this?" Ranko

asked.


"Consintrate on the bottle. Imagine that it isn't in

your hand." Skuld said.


"Okay." Ranko looked in her hand and the bottle

wasn't there. "Where did it go?"


"I told you, it's in hammerspace." Skuld said "Try it

again."


"Okay." Ranko grabbed a vibrator out of the box of

sex toys and made it disappear.


"Now consintrate on the bottle. Imagine that it is in

your hand." Skuld said.


"Okay." Ranko said and looked down to see the

bottle in her hand. Cool! Nabiki, gimme something else."


Nabiki handed her the savings passbook which she

made disappear. Then she made the vibration appear.


"Don't get carried away." Skuld warned. "The

implant runs off the same energy that you use for magic."


"So I can't use it too often?" Ranko asked.


"Correct." Skuld replied. "Also, the amount of

objects you can store isn't unlimited. You can only keep

about a dozen small objects at one time.


"In other words, don't use the implant for extra

closet space?" Nabiki asked.


"Correct." Skuld said.


"I got to admit, this is one of your better ideas."

Ranko said.


"Thanks." Skuld said. "The next item isn't really

mine." She handed Ranko a pen with a jewel attached to

one end.


"Hey! Isn't this the transformation pen Luna gave

me?" Ranko asked. "She said I could keep it as a souvenir

because it was damaged."


"Well, it's not damaged anymore." Skuld said with a

grin.


"You fixed it? Awesome!" Ranko said and held the

pen up in the air.


"Stop!" Skuld yelled. "I made some modifications."


"Like what?" Ranko asked.


"Well, the AI chip was damaged beyond repair."

Skuld said. "The best I could do was replace it with a

memory chip."


"Which means?" Ranko asked.


"It won't change you into anything you want. You

have to enter the outfit into the memory first."


"I can deal with that." Ranko said. "Anything

else?"


"Um...yeah." Skuld said. "The power cell was

damaged too. The pen will put a constant drain on your

body's energy while it's in use."


"How much of a drain? Ranko asked.


"It depends on how complex the program is." Skuld

replied. "For example, I programmed it with a modified hard

suit, and that will wear you down after a couple of hours."


"Great." Ranko said. "Any good news?"


"Yes. The hard suit isn't the only thing I

programmed." Skuld answered with a grin. "And considering

the pen's origin, I felt that it was necessary that I program it to

use minimal energy, so you can use it for a whole day

without needing a recharge."


"So, what is it?" Ranko asked.


"Your Sailor Earth costume, of course." Skuld

replied.


"Sailor Earth?" Nabiki asked. "This I've got to

see."


"You got it." Ranko said and held the pen over her

head. "Disguise Power! Change me into Sailor Earth!"

She yelled and was surrounded by a bright white light.

Nabiki thought she could see Ranko standing naked through

the brightness. When the light faded, Ranko was dressed in

a modified sailor fuku with a bright blue skirt and a bright

red bow on her chest. On her hands were white gloves that

went to her elbows, and on her legs were red boots that

went to her knees. Finally, on her head was a gold tiara.

"How do I look?" She asked and struck a superhero pose.


"I take back what I said about you and Ranma

having the same taste in clothing." Nabiki said while

giggling.


"Hey! This happens to be the official uniform of the

Sailor Scouts." Ranko said.


"You mean they're real?" Nabiki asked. "I thought

they were just rumor."


"Nope, they're real." Ranko answered and then

grinned. "You could say that I got to know a couple of

them very well."


"That explains why they let you become one of

them." Nabiki said.


"Don't let her fool you." Skuld said. "She's not a

real Sailor Scout."


"Am too!" Ranko yelled.


"Then how come you don't have any energy based

powers like the other Scouts?" Skuld asked.


"Nobody's perfect." Ranko answered glumly.


"Cheer up. I'm sure that with the magic you've

learned, you can improvise." Skuld said.


"Thanks, Skuld." Ranko replied "I take back half

the bad things I've ever said about you."


"Only half?" Skuld asked.


"I'm saving the other half for a rainy day." Ranko

replied with a mischievous look.


"Well, maybe this will change your mind." Skuld

said. She reached into the equipment box and pulled out a

small metal disk. "Sleipnir, converge on present

coordinates." she said.


"It can't be." Ranko said.


"What?" Nabiki asked, "What is Sliepnir?"


Ranko was about to answer when screaming started

coming from outside. The three girls ran down stairs to see

Akane screaming and pointing up. Ranma just looked up in

shock.


"We're being invaded!" Akane yelled. And sure

enough, a spaceship floated above the dojo. (Same design

as Adam Warren's version of the Lovely Angel.)


"Akane, calm down." Ranko said. "It's just my

ship, Sliepnir Mark Two."


"You mean that's yours?" Akane asked.


"Yep." Ranko replied. "Skuld, we can't land it here.

Send it back."


"Okay." Skuld said. "Sliepnir, assume lunar orbit."

With that, the ship flew off into the sky.


"Uh...Ranko?" Ranma asked. "Did you just say that

that was your spaceship?"


"Yes." Ranko replied. "And Skuld was just about

to explain why she decided to scare the shit out of half of

Nerima."


"Sorry." Skuld said. "I just wanted to show you

that I fixed the six foot hole you put in the hull."


"Apology accepted." Ranko said. "So, anything

new on the ship that I should know about.."


"Well, apart from the remote unit I used to call it

here I added an orbital laser strike unit with target

recognition circuits." Skuld said.


"Huh?" Ranko asked.


"You can ask it to blow up stuff from orbit." Skuld

replied.


"Cool" Ranko said and reached for the remote.

Skuld pulled it out of her reach.


"Before I give this to you, you have to promise only

to use in emergencies." Skuld said. "You almost got

arrested by the Galaxy Police last time."


"Okay, I promise." Ranko said.


"On your honor as a goddess,"


"All right, already. I promise on my honor as a

goddess that I won't use your spaceship unless it's an

emergency." Ranko said.


"Okay." Skuld said and handed her the remote.

"Just pin it on your shirt when you use it. The instructions

are in with your stuff."


"Ranko, what are you wearing?" Akane asked.


Ranko looked down to see that she was still in her

Sailor Earth outfit. "Oops!" she said and concentrated on

making her old clothes reappear.


*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*


Skuld looked at her watch. "Oh, good. It's done."

she said.


"What's done?" Ranko asked.


"I set up a temporal vortex before I came here, and

it should have finished forming by now." Skuld replied.


"Temporal vortex?" Ranko asked, and then smiled.

"I get it. You've got a date with Mackie, right?"


"Jealous?" Skuld asked.


"Depends." Ranko answered. "Are you letting any

of the other Knight Sabers in on the action?"


"What is it with you and girls?" Skuld said.

"Besides, I love Mackie for his mind."


"I don't know." Ranko said. "Sylia is pretty smart."


"But, she's his sister." Skuld said. "He'd never go

for it."


"Hey, incest can be fun, if you do it right." Ranko

said.


"WHAT!" Akane yelled and glared at Ranma.


"Now there's an idea." Nabiki said.


"I didn't do anything! I swear!" Ranma yelled.


"Relax, Akane. It was just a thought." Ranko said.


"Well, keep your perverted thoughts to yourself."

Akane said.


"As much fun as it is, watching you fight like this, I

don't want to keep my boyfriend waiting." Skuld said and

headed to the bathroom. "Bye."


"Ranma!" Kasumii called from the house. "Don't

forget that you have to take your sister to the Cat Cafe for

lunch."


"Okay, Kasumii!" he replied.


"Oh! Could you stop by the market and get me

some oregano and basil? We ran out." Kasumii asked.


"I've got some of that." Ranko said. "Just grab to

box in my room marked 'Kitchen'. "It's got spices and

herbal tea and stuff like that."


"Thank you, Ranko." Kasumii said and went to get

the box.


"That reminds me." Ranko said. "I have this

hammerspace implant, might as well use it."


In the hall she passed Kasumii carrying the box for

the kitchen. What she didn't notice was the lemon tea box

on top of it.


"Let me see. What items do I want on call in case of

an emergency." Ranko asked herself.


"Couldn't wait to play with your new toys, could

you?" Nabiki asked from the doorway.


"Nope." Ranko said. She put her transformation

pen and Sliepnir remote in hammerspace. Then she grabbed

a twelve inch silver dagger.


"Woah!" Nabiki said. "Are you planning on using

that on someone?"


"I am a monster hunter, remember?" Ranko replied.

"The job requires me to be lethal at times. Besides, you

never know when I might run into Mom."


"Let's hope that never happens." Nabiki said. "I'd

hate to lose my sweet and innocent Ranko."


"You really think I'm sweet and innocent?" Ranko

asked.


"No, but I can pretend, can't I?" Nabiki said with a

grin. "Now can we go?"


"Just one more thing." Ranko said and grabbed a

scroll and made it disappear.


"What's the scroll for?" Nabiki asked.


"It's complicated." Ranko answered. "Let's just say

that I told someone that I'd carry it with me at all times."


"Okay." Nabiki said, deciding not to ask. "Let's go.

After all, I wouldn't want to miss my free lunch."


"Free?" Ranko asked.


"Yeah. You're paying." Nabiki said.


"I had to ask." Ranko said as they left with Ranma

and Akane to the Cat Cafe.


"Son-In-Law!" Cologne called from the kitchen as

they entered the restaurant. "You and your sister have a

seat. I'll be with you in a moment."


"What about us?" Akane asked.


"Oh. Akane." Cologne said with a no small amount

of animosity. "You and your sister may join us, if you

wish."


"Thanks, we will." Nabiki said and took a seat.

"Mousse, can we get some menus?"


Mousse handed them four menus and then looked at

Ranko and Ranma. "So, the old woman was right. There

are two of you."


"No. There's one of me and one of him." Ranko

replied.


"You know what I mean." Mousse said."


"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday."

Ranko said. "I didn't know that me and Ranma looked alike

in our female forms."


"I am prepared to forgive you on one condition."

Mousse said. "The old woman told me that you are cursed

to change into a man that resembles Ranma, right?"


"Yes." Ranko replied.


"Then promise me that you won't try to take my

Shampoo from me." Mousse said.


"It was explained to me that Shampoo plans to

marry Ranma. I assume that the kiss she gave me was

intended for him." Ranko said. "I can't guarantee that I won't

respond to any advances she makes, but I will promise that

she knows it's me and not Ranma."


"That will do." Mousse said. "Is anyone ready with

their orders?"


"I am." Nabiki said. "I'll have this and this. Oh, and

this too." She pointed to three of the most expensive items

on the menu.


"You do realize that this isn't a free meal?" Mousse

asked.


"Yes it is." Nabiki replied. "Ranko's paying."


"Nabiki!" Akane yelled. "How dare you try to

extort a free meal off of Ranma's sister."


"It's okay, Akane." Ranko said. "I did promise to

buy you lunch, and I'm sure Nabiki can make it up to me."


"Just as long as someone pays." Mousse said and

went toward the kitchen.


"Mousse." Ranko said.


"Yes." Mousse replied.


"I want you to know that I enjoyed kissing

Shampoo." she said. "But I also enjoyed kissing you."


Mousse blushed and went into the kitchen.


"Ranko, were you just flirting with Mousse?"

Akane asked.


"Flirting is such a strong word." Ranko replied.


"You know, Sis." Ranma said. "If you're looking

for a boyfriend, I think you could do better than Mousse."


"Don't worry, Bro." Ranko said. "I'm not in the

market for a boyfriend at the moment. She winked at

Nabiki, who winked back in return.


After a few minutes, Cologne appeared with their

order. She distributed the food and took a seat across from

Ranko.


"You wanted to see us?" Ranko asked.


"Yes." Cologne said. "I wanted to discuss

Shampoo."


"I've already been through this with Mousse."

Ranko said. "I'll leave her alone if she leaves me alone."


"She won't leave you alone." Cologne said. "She

plans on killing you."


"What!" Ranko yelled. "Over one kiss?"


"She has not always been on the best of terms with

Ranma's female side." Cologne explained. "When Ukyo

and I explained that it was not her betrothed that she kissed,

she assumed that it was Ranma's girl half separate from her

boy half."


"So what you're saying is she's back to wanting to

marry me as a guy and kill me as a girl." Ranma said.


"No, but since she has no emotional attachments to

Ranko, she feels that by killing her she could kill girl-type

Ranma without loosing boy-type Ranma." Cologne replied.

"The only reason she wasn't attacking your sister last night is

because I used an ancient Chinese technique on her."


"What technique?" Ranma asked.


It involves stamina, endurance, and alcohol."

Cologne said.


"In other words, you drank her under the table."

Nabiki said.


"Correct." Cologne replied.


"Um...she's not here, is she?" Ranko asked with a

nervous tone. Having someone out to kill her was making

her a bit uneasy.


"No." Cologne replied. "I gave her a remedy for

her hangover and then sent her on some errands. She won't

be back for at least another hour."


"Girl-type Ranma! You I kill!"


"Or maybe not." Cologne said.


"Shampoo! Wait!" Ranko yelled and ducked as a

bonbori was swung at her head."


"Shampoo give you Kiss of Death! Now you die!"

Shampoo yelled and executed a round house kick, which

connected and knocked Ranko to the floor.


"Kiss of Death?" Ranko said. "You're from Nyu-

che-zu!"


"Yes! And now Shampoo regain honor with

Amazon tribe." Shampoo yelled and pulled her fist back to

deliver a blow that would crush Ranko's skull.


<Stop!> Ranko yelled, switching to Chinese. <I

have a message from the elders of your tribe.> She pulled

out the scroll she earlier placed in hammerspace.


<I'll take that.> Cologne said and grabbed the

scroll.


<This better be good.> Shampoo said.


Cologne read the scroll out loud. <It reads: In

return for her heroic deeds, the one known as Ranko

Saotome is pardoned of any crimes, real or imagined,

against the Amazon tribe of Nyu-che-zu. In addition, she

and the one known as Yoiko Hibiki are given the status of

ally to the tribe and will be treated as such. The Council of

Elders.>


Shampoo reached down and pulled Ranko to her

feet. <I'm sorry.>


<Apology accepted.> Ranko replied.


"What just happened?" Ranma asked.


"Sorry, I forgot you don't speak Chinese." Ranko

said. "Well, to make a long story short, Shampoo's tribe

was the one that hired me to hunt that monster in China.

When I killed it, they gave me a pardon."


"Uh, huh. Ranko is Shampoo's friend now."

Shampoo said.



"Um...where's your bathroom?" Ranko asked.


"Over there." Cologne pointed to the restroom.


"Nabiki, you have to go, too." Ranko said.


"No, I don't." Nabiki said. "Ouch!" she yelled as

Ranko grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the ladies room.


Ranko pulled Nabiki through the door and locked it

behind them.


"What was that about!" Nabiki yelled. "You

practically pulled my arm out of the soc...mphf." She was

silenced by a passionate kiss from Ranko.


"Nabiki, I need you. Now." Ranko said, her voice

filled with lust.


"Now?" Nabiki asked. She knew her lover was a

little sex-crazy, but this was ridiculous.


"Yes." Ranko cooed and put her hand in Nabiki's

panties.


"Ohhh." Nabiki moaned as Ranko massaged her

pussy. But one look into those green eyes told her

something was wrong. "This isn't about sex, is it?"


"No." Ranko answered while kissing the nape of

Nabiki's neck. "Energy."


"Energy?" Nabiki asked as she slid her hand down

Ranko's pants, feeling the wetness flowing freely between

her legs.


"Skuld. Implant. Too much magic." Ranko

answered and thrust two fingers deep into Nabiki.


"Aaah!" Nabiki yelped. "You mean this is how you

recharge!"


"Yes." Ranko said, then whimpered as Nabiki

removed her hand from her slit.


"We haven't got time for both of us to get off, so I'll

have to work on you." Nabiki said and pushed the girl to

the floor. She pulled down Ranko's pants and boxers,

exposing her mound to the open air.


"Yes. Please. Fuck me." Ranko moaned.


Nabiki was almost amused at how helpless Ranko

seemed in this state. She decided to go for broke and thrust

her tongue deep into Ranko's sex. This was different from

the fingering she did the night before, but Nabiki quickly

learned which spots to lick by reading Ranko's reactions.

Ranko came quickly, and sat up after a minute of recovery.


"Nabiki, I'm sorry." Ranko said.


"Don't be. Actually, that was kind of fun." Nabiki

said as she went to the sink to wash her hands and face.

"But I would like to know why you didn't tell me about this

little problem of yours."


"I didn't want you to think I was just using you as a

battery charger." Ranko said as she stood up and pulled up

her pants


*Knock, Knock*


"You two okay in there?" Ranma called from

beyond the door.


"Ranma!" Nabiki said as she opened the door.

"Hanging around the women's restroom. What will people

think?"


"Hey! It's not like that!" Ranma yelled. "I just

wanted to see what was taking you so long."


"Girl stuff." Ranko replied. "You wouldn't

understand."


"Okay." Ranma said, deciding that he didn't want to

know. "We were going to see Ucchan and give her some of

the old lady's hangover remedy."


"Ukyo too?" Nabiki said. "They must have had

some party here last night."


"As they were leaving the restaurant, Shampoo

grabbed Ranko's shoulder. "Shampoo want to talk to

Ranko."


"You guys go on ahead. I'll be over in a few

minutes." Ranko said. Akane and Ranma left, but Nabiki

stayed behind.


"Shampoo talk to Ranko in private." Shampoo said

to Nabiki.


"You were just trying to kill Ranko, so I don't think

it's a good idea to leave you two alone." Nabiki replied.


"Okay, you stay." Shampoo said and turned to

Ranko. <I don't want her to hear what we're saying, so

speak in Chinese.>


<Okay.> Ranko complied. <What do you want to

talk about.>


<You're gay, right?> Shampoo asked.


<Bisexual, but if I ever had to choose one over the

other, I'd probably stick with girls.> Ranko replied.

<Why?>


<Well, I'm going to marry your brother, but Akane

keeps getting in the way.> Shampoo said. <I think she

likes his girl side better, so I would like you to keep her

away from him.>


<Let me get this straight. You want me to seduce

Akane so you can have Ranma all to yourself?>


<To be blunt, yes.> Shampoo replied.


<I can't do that.> Ranko said.


<Why not?> Shampoo said. <I bet she'd be great in

bed.>


<Because I got there first.> Nabiki said in Chinese.


"Huh?" Shampoo said. "Greedy girl no know how

to talk Chinese."


"Maybe not when you first came to Japan." Nabiki

answered. "But when it became clear that you were here to

stay, I learned."


"She's right, too." Ranko said. "I can't be with

Akane because I love Nabiki."


"Ranko is Shampoo's friend, so no want to tell you

this. Nabiki is...what word?" Shampoo thought for the

proper translation. "Ah! Cold sushi."


"Did she just call me a cold fish?" Nabiki sounded

offended.


"That it." Shampoo said with a grin. "You cold

fish."


"Shampoo, you do realize that we were having sex

in your restroom less than fifteen minutes ago." Ranko said.


"..." Shampoo didn't know what to say.


"Here. This should cover lunch." Ranko placed

some money in Shampoo's hand. On her way out the door

she turned and said. "By the way, If you want more proof

that Nabiki isn't frigid, you're more than welcome to join us

sometime."


"Shampoo is no pervert girl like Akane!" Shampoo

yelled as Ranko and Nabiki crossed the street to meet

Ranma and Akane outside Ucchan's


"What was that all about?" Akane asked.


"Apparently Shampoo's got it in her head to make

you and Ranko a couple." Nabiki replied.


"She knows Ranko's really a girl, doesn't she?"

Akane asked.


"Yeah, but she's convinced that you're a lesbian."

Ranko replied."


"I'm a what!?!"


"Well, you do hate boys" Ranma said.


*Bash*


"Ow."


"Don't worry, Akane. I told her I could never steal

my brother's girlfriend." Ranko said.


"I'm not his girlfriend!" Akane yelled.


"Yeah! I'd never go out with an uncute tomboy like

her." Ranma said.


*Bash*


"Ow."


"Are they always like this?" Ranko asked.


"Pretty much." Nabiki replied.


Ranma turned to enter Ucchan's when he found the

closed sign in the window. "Closed?"


"Of course it's closed." Ranko said. "Ukyo's got a

hangover, right?"


"Oh, yeah." Ranma said.


"Well, you're her friend right? So she'll let us in."

Ranko went to knock on the door when she found it

unlocked.


"Hey, Red!"


Ranko looked up to find Ukyo and Ryoga at the

counter and Yoiko behind the grill.


"Yoiko?" Ranko said. I found you in less than a

day. This must be a new record."


"Ohh...my head." Ukyo groaned.


"Here, swallow these." Ranma said and handed her

a couple of tablets from the packet Cologne gave him.


Ukyo swallowed the tablets and her eyes snapped

open. "Hey, my headache's gone. What was that?"


"Herbal hangover remedy I got over at Shampoo's"

Ranma replied.


"That bimbo!" Ukyo yelled. "After all the times we

were doing shots at her place, she never mentioned this

once."


"All the times?" Akane asked.


"Yeah, Shampoo and me want to stay on good

terms. So when get into arguments we have a drinking

contest instead of fighting." Ukyo replied. "It keeps us

from killing each other."


"Well, that must have been some bender you were

on last night." Ranma said. "Usually you won't let anyone

near your grill."


"She's not just anyone, she's my new employee."

Ukyo said.


"Employee?" Ranko asked.


"Yep." Yoiko said. "Miss Konaji gave me a job as

cook and waitress."


"Really? How much does it pay?" Nabiki asked,

never one to pass up a chance to see how much money

someone has.


"Who are you?" Yoiko asked.


"Oh, that's right. You left before she got home."

Ranko said. "This is Akane's sister, Nabiki."


"Pleased to meet you." Yoiko said. "And to answer

you're question, the job pays 15000 yen a week plus room

and board."


"Room and board?" Ranko asked. Aren't you going

to live with me?"


"Well, actually, Ryoga doesn't think I should live at

the Tendo's" Yoiko replied.


"Why not?" Ranko asked Ryoga.


"I hate to tell you this, but your brother can't be

trusted around women." Ryoga replied.


"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma asked.


"It's bad enough you have to live under the same

roof as Akane, but I'm not letting you get your hands on my

sister too!" Ryoga yelled.


"Yeah, right!" Ranma yelled. "If she's anything like

you she'd get lost before she'd get to my bedroom!"


"That's right, Yoiko." Akane said. "How are you

going to wait tables without getting lost?"


"Oh, Red can help with that." Yoiko replied. "She's

got a map spell that can help me find my way around

buildings and stuff like that."


"I hope you don't want me to do it now." Ranko

said. "I'm kind of drained and that spell takes a lot of

energy."


"That's okay. Just don't come to me for a recharge."

Yoiko said. "I'm not into that."


"Do I want to know?" Akane asked.


"Nope." Ranko said.


"Hey, Miss Tendo. Did you know that Ryoga turns

into a pig when he..." Ryoga put his hand over Yoiko's

mouth.


"Er...She means I turn into a pig when I eat good

cooking. And since she's such a good cook, I can't help

myself."


Ranko leaned over to Ranma. "What was that all

about?" she asked.


"I'll explain later." Ranma said.


"Well, now that I'm feeling better, I guess we better

open up." Ukyo said. "Right, Yoiko?"


"Right, Boss." Yoiko replied.


"You guys want something to eat." Ukyo asked.


"No. We just had lunch and Akane's cooking dinner

later." Ranko said.


"You poor girl." Ukyo said.


"Huh?" Ranko said.


"Let's go!" Akane said and pushed Ranko out the

door before anyone could insult her cooking.


Later at the dojo, Ranko watched while Akane and

Ranma spared.


"You two are really serious about this martial arts

stuff." Ranko said.


"You mean you're not?" Akane asked as she threw

a dozen punches at Ranma.


"C'mon, Akane." Ranma said as he jumped, ducked,

or side stepped all of Akane's punches. "She's my sister,

she's got to be a martial artist."


"Well then, let's see how good she is." Akane said

and they both turned to Ranko.


"You want to fight me?" Ranko asked.


"You think this is a good idea, Akane?" Ranma

asked. "I mean, she might hurt you."


"I can handle myself." Akane said as she and Ranko

took fighting stances.


Ranko threw a series of kicks and punches which

Akane blocked. Akane countered with a few punches and

kicks of her own, which Ranko also blocked.


"I think she's taking it easy on you." Ranma said to

Akane.


"Oh, yeah? Well, block this!" Akane yelled and put

all her strength into one big punch.


"Oh, shit." Ranko said as the punch connected and

knocked her across the dojo, bouncing her off the wall.


"Yes! Finally someone I can beat!" Akane yelled

and then saw that Ranko wasn't moving. "Oh, God.

Ranko!"


"Akane. You didn't..." Ranma asked in shock.


"I don't know!" Akane yelled as she ran to Ranko.

"Call Dr. Tofu!"


Just then Ranko's eyes snapped open. She grabbed

Akane's legs and knocked her off her feet. Suddenly she

was on top of Akane, pinning her arms above her. "Just

because I'm not as skilled as you doesn't mean I can't be a

sneaky little bitch when I have to."


"..." Akane was frozen in terror.


"Ranko, stop! You're scaring her!" Ranma yelled.


Ranko looked down to see the frightened look on

Akane's face and leaped off of her. "I'm sorry, Akane. I got

carried away."


"That's...okay,...Ranko." Akane said, trying to catch

her breath.


"What was that all about?" Ranma asked.


"Yeah?" Akane asked. "I knew I could break free

of you're grasp, but I was too scared to do so."


"Even a goddess has her dark side." Ranko replied

grimly.


"Oh." Akane said.


"Well, anyway." Ranko said, reverting to her

normal, cheerful self. "As you can see, I'm not that great at

unarmed combat."


"I would have thought that you'd be better, being a

monster hunter and all that." Ranma said.


"Nah. I usually let Yoiko do most of the fighting."

Ranko replied. "I am pretty good with a sword, though."


"Akane!" Kasumii called from the house. "Time to

start dinner."


The look of terror on Ranma's face surpassed the one

that Akane wore moments earlier. She leaned in close and

whispered in his ear. "Keep your opinions about my cooking

to yourself, or you're dead."


"Eating your food is a fate worse than death."

Ranma whispered back.


"Would you rather I sent Ranko to your mother's for

dinner." Akane whispered.


An image of Ranko sitting across the dinner table

from Nadoka's mutilated corpse popped into Ranma's mind.

"You win."


"How romantic." Ranko said.


"What?" Akane asked.


"You're whispering sweet nothings in each others

ears." Ranko said with a smile.


"I wasn't...she wasn't...we weren't..." Ranma tried

finding an excuse that wouldn't get him into more trouble.

"Oh, never mind."


"Well, off to work I go." Akane said and went off

to prepare something which resembled food.


"I guess now would be a good time for me to finish

unpacking." Ranko said and went to her room.


A few minutes later, Ranko was unpacking boxes

with Nabiki's help.


"Hey, Ranko?" Nabiki asked.


"Yeah?"


"I was wondering, were you serious about what you

said to Shampoo earlier?" Nabiki asked.


"You mean about not seducing Akane? You bet."

Ranko answered. "I get people together, not break them

apart."


"No, I mean about inviting her to join us." Nabiki

said.


"Oh. Sorry. I guess I should have asked you first."

Ranko said with an ashamed look.


"I never said I was against the idea." Nabiki said.

"Although Shampoo wouldn't have been my first choice for

a three way."


"How about one of your friends, then?" Ranko

asked.


"I don't think my friends are ready for you yet."

Nabiki answered.


"Is that why you're going out without me tonight?"

Ranko asked with a touch of mock disappointment.


"Sorry, Ranko baby. The shows been sold out for

weeks." Nabiki answered. "Besides, what would happen

with you and me when the lights went down?"


"I can control myself." Ranko answered.


"That doesn't mean I can." Nabiki said.


"Ooh. Maybe I should be warding against you,

too." Ranko said as she placed a series of wards around the

door and window.


"What are you warding against, anyway?" Nabiki

asked.


"Once these are in place, only you, Kasumii, and

Yoiko can get in without being invited." Ranko replied.


"Why Yoiko and Kasumii?" Nabiki asked.


"Yoiko's my best friend. I trust her with my life, so I

can trust her in my room."


"What about my sister?" Nabiki asked.


"I don't know." Ranko answered. "It's like I know

she wants what's best for me, and I would do anything to

make her happy. I think I love her, but not the same way I

love you. It's hard to explain, because I've never had

anyone like her in my life before."


"Ranko, you know what you just described?" Nabiki

asked.


"What?" Ranko asked, because she didn't have a

clue.


"A mother." Nabiki replied.


"I think I'm going to be sick." Ranko said.


"Not before Akane's dinner, I hope." Nabiki said

with a grin."


"Someone's not telling me something." Ranko said.


"Let's just say that Akane's cooking is an experience

you'll never forget." Nabiki replied.


*Ding-Dong*


"There's my ride." Nabiki said and ran out of the

room, down the stairs, and out the door.


"Why do I get the feeling I've got a long night ahead

of me?" Ranko asked herself as she finished putting her

things away. In the back of her mind she thought that

something was missing, but she didn't know what.


Later, Genma, Soun, Ranma, and Ranko sat at the

dinner table as Akane served her idea of dinner. Kasumii

said she had a large lunch, so she wasn't hungry.


"What's with you guys?" Ranko asked, looking at

the expression of dread on her family's faces.


"Nothing's wrong with them. Right, Ranma?"

Akane asked.


"Er...right." Ranma replied.


"Well, since Akane was kind enough to cook this for

us, then we might as well dig in." Ranko said and brought a

piece of food up to her mouth.


"No, wait!" Ranma yelled.


"Wait for what?" Ranko asked as she took a bite,


Ranma was shocked when his sister didn't have a

violent reaction to the food. "Are you feeling all right?" he

asked.


"Yes. Why?" Ranko replied.


"Hey, Akane. It looks like you finally cooked

something edible." Ranma said as he and their fathers all

took bites...and immediately collapsed on the floor.


"Well, at least someone likes it." Akane said.


"This reminds me of Urd's cooking." Ranko said.


"You mean it's as good as a goddess's food?"

Akane asked.


"No, it's as bad as a goddess's" Ranko replied while

still eating.


"What!" Akane yelled.


"I take that back. Urd's food is usually moving

when she serves it."


"Ranko, you jerk!" Akane yelled and punted Ranko

outside and into the pond.


"What was that all about?!?" Ranko-kun yelled as

he climbed out of the water.


"You just implied that my cooking sucks!" Akane

yelled.


"Well, at least I ate it, unlike some people." Ranko

yelled, pointing to the twitching forms of Ranma and their

fathers.


"I'm not speaking to you!" Akane yelled and

stormed off it the kitchen.


"Temperamental, isn't she?" Ranko asked, but no one

was in any condition to answer.


In the kitchen, Kasumii was washing dishes when

Akane entered.


"That jerk!" Akane yelled.


"Did Ranma not like dinner?" Akane yelled.


"I'm used to Ranma not eating my cooking. It's his

sister that's the problem." Akane said.


"Oh, my! What did Ranko do?" Kasumii asked.


"She actually finished her meal, and then told me

how bad it was." Akane answered. "I mean, if she didn't

like it, then why did she eat it?"


"Maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings."

Kasumii said.


"Maybe, but I'm still mad at her." Akane said.


"You need something to calm your nerves."

Kasumii said. "Would you like a cup of tea?"


"Sure." Akane replied.


Kasumii looked through the cabinets and found the

box marked 'Lemon Tea'. "Ranko gave me a box of lemon

flavored tea. Is that okay?"


"Yeah." Akane said and took the cup of tea that

Kasumii handed her. She took a sip and made a funny face.


"Something wrong?" Kasumii asked.


"No. It's just that this tea isn't lemon flavored."

Akane replied. "It a little bitter."


"That's strange." Kasumii said. "There's a hand

written label on the box that says 'Lemon Tea', but I can't

read the writing on the box."


"Maybe it means you're supposed to add lemon

juice." Akane said.


Kasumii took a slice of lemon and squeezed a few

drops into the cup. "How's that?"


Akane took a sip. "Much better."


Kasumii went to the dining room to see the three

men on the floor in pain. "Where's Ranko?" she asked.


"In there." Ranma groaned and pointed to the next

room where Ranko was watching television.


"I see you found out what Akane does when

someone insults her cooking." Kasumii said, noticing that

Ranko was in his male form.


"I didn't mean to insult her." Ranko said.


"Akane has trouble controlling her temper

sometimes, so you should be careful what you say around

her." Kasumii said.


"I guess you're right." Ranko said. "I'll apologize

first thing in the morning."


"Would you like some hot water to change back?"

Kasumii asked.


"No. I was going to wait up for Nabiki, and..."

Ranko grinned. "Well, you know."


"No, I don't. And I don't want to, either." Kasumii

said and went back to her business.


"Something tells me she's still not too thrilled with

me sleeping with her sister." Ranko said to himself and

returned to watching television.


Later that night, Akane laid awake in her bed. She

rolled over on her right side. Then she rolled on her left

side. Then onto her stomach. Then on her back.


"I can't sleep." she said to herself. Normally she'd

cuddle up to P-chan when she had trouble sleeping, but he

disappeared the day before.


"I wish I was with Ranma." She said and sat up

straight. "Why did I say that?" She closed her eyes and

imagined the first time she saw Ranma as a boy.


It was right after Ranma arrived. Too ashamed to

admit that he was cursed, he let Akane believe that he was a

real girl. So of course Akane didn't think twice about

entering the bathroom while Ranma was inside. When she

opened the door she found Ranma-kun stepping out of the

furo. Her eyes trailed down the hard muscles of his chest

down to his manhood, which was rapidly becoming erect as

he stared at her body. Akane smiled as she stepped into the

bathroom. She knelt before him and took his hard on in

her...


"Woah!" Akane yelled as she snapped back to

reality. "I remember what happened, and me giving him a

blow job most certainly did not happen." She remembered

that she was afraid of the stranger she found in the

bathroom. But she was ashamed to admit that part of her

fear was that she was aroused by the first naked man she

had ever seen.


"Okay, so thinking about Ranma as a guy isn't going

to do me any good.." Akane said and closed her eyes, this

time imagining Ranma as a girl.


It was later that same day. Akane had a fight with

Ranma resulting in him getting flattened by a table. She was

in the furo in an attempt to relax. After her bath she went to

open the door to find herself face to face with a naked

Ranma-chan. Akane raised her hand and placed it against

the girl's cheek, drawing her in for a gentle kiss. Ranma's

hand trailed down Akane's body, coming to rest between

Akane's legs. Akane gasped as Ranma inserted a finger into

her...


"No, no, no." Akane said as she shook her head,

banishing the image from her mind. "I am not a lesbian."

That was only a half truth, though. While she had a healthy

amount of attraction to boys, she also felt something when

she was around cute girls. She thought that maybe

Shampoo was right and she was a pervert girl.


"Well, I'm obviously not going to get to sleep at the

moment." she said and went down stairs to break bricks

untill she was tired.


Downstairs she heard the television on and went to

see who was still up. She found the pigtailed boy dressed in

boxers and a muscle tee and sleeping in front of the

television. "I guess Genma must be snoring again." Akane

said and turned off the TV. She turned and was about to

try to wake the boy when she noticed the large bulge in his

shorts.


Something in Akane's mind snapped. She had a

need for something all night and it was right in front of her.

She got down on her knees and pulled the shorts off of him.

Akane wasted no time and grabbed his erection and started

stroking it. She leaned forward and ran her tongue along

the length of it. When she got to the top she sucked on the

head for a moment. Then she ran her tongue down the

other side and when she got to the bottom she sucked on his

balls. Finally she returned to suck on the tip and started to

bob her head up and down, taking in inch by inch untill the

whole length was in her mouth and throat. She was too lost

in her actions to even think of choking. After a few minutes

of work she felt his member begin to pulse as he shot his

seed into her stomach. To Akane it was the most delicious

thing she ever tasted. She felt him sit up and released his

manhood. She looked up to see her lover's eyes.


Green eyes.


"Oh, God. Ranko..." Akane stood up and took a

step back.


"Akane..." Ranko said and took a step toward her.


"No..." Akane turned and ran toward the kitchen.


"Akane, wait!" Ranko yelled and ran after her.


In the kitchen, Ranko found Akane over the sink

with a knife held to her wrist.


"Don't come any closer!" Akane yelled.


"Akane, you don't want to do that." Ranko said,

trying not to startle her.


"Yes, I do!" Akane yelled. "I'm going insane."


"Why, Akane? What's making you do this?" Ranko

asked.


"You have to ask?" Akane said. "I just gave you a

blow job, for crying out loud. I think I was hallucinating

earlier. How long before I completely lose control and start

killing people?!?"


"Akane, I'm not going to let you kill yourself."

Ranko said.


"You can't stop me." Akane said just before an

invisible force yanked the knife from her hand.


Ranko gave a sigh of relief. The magic he used

wasn't enough to deplete his reserves. Akane was in a

fragile state, so he'd hate to have to go to her for a recharge.

She looked down at the knife in her hand. "Akane, this is a

butter knife."


Akane fell to her knees. "I can't find my way around

the kitchen even if my death depends on it." she said and

started to laugh a little crazily.


Ranko set the knife down on the counter and saw

the 'Lemon Tea' box. "Have you been drinking this?" he

asked.


"Yeah. It was pretty good with lemon juice."

Akane said. "I wonder how it would taste with rat poison."

She started looking through the cupboards.


"I think I know why you're acting this way." Ranko

said.


"I told you. I'm insane." Akane said.


Ranko sighed and used the hot water from the tap to

change back to her female form. "Akane, come with me to

my room."


"I'm not going to fuck you even if you are a girl."

Akane said.


"Akane, I can explain what's happening to you."

Ranko said.


"Sorry. I'm busy trying to commit suicide." Akane

said.


"Akane, I have a gun in my room." Ranko said.


"Really?" Akane asked with an insanely happy look

on her face.


"If you still want to die after I've told you what I

have to, then you can have it."


"Deal." Akane said and ran up to Ranko's room.


In her room, Ranko dug through her closet and

placed three items on the bed. The first item was a bottle

with a clear red liquid inside. Next was what looked like a

pair of reading glasses. And finally she pulled out a Colt .45

with a full clip. Akane made a grab for the gun but Ranko

slapped her hand away.


"Listen first, remember?" Ranko said.


"Okay, but you'd better hurry up or I'm taking you

with me." Akane threatened.


Ranko picked up the bottle and handed it to Akane.

"Take a sip of this."


"What is it?" Akane asked.


"What's the matter, afraid I'm going to poison you?"

Ranko said.


"You'd be doing me a favor." Akane answered and

took a sip from the bottle. The insane look on her face

disappeared.


"Feeling better?" Ranko asked.


"Ranko, what's wrong with me?" Akane asked,

tears forming in her eyes. "I...I almost..."


"I know what your problem is." Ranko said. "You

love Ranma."


"No, I..."


"It's no use denying it." Ranko broke in. "The

proof is right here." She handed Akane the box of 'Lemon

Tea'.


"It says 'Lemon Tea' but I can't read the rest."

Akane said.


"Here." Ranko handed her the glasses.


Akane put on the glasses and looked at the box.

"Hey, I can read it now. It says: 'Add lemon juice to the tea

and be consumed with uncontrollable lust for the one you

love. Warning: Drink only in the presence of your true

love. If you don't insanity, depression, and suicide may

result. Especially if you have trouble expressing your true

feelings.'"


The only reason you came to me is because you

thought you thought I was Ranma." Ranko said.


"My God. I really do love him." Akane said.


"Don't you think you should tell him that?" Ranko

asked.


"I can't. I don't know if he loves me." Akane said.


"I see." Ranko said. "I won't tell him untill you're

ready."


"Crisis over?" Nabiki asked from the doorway.


"Nabiki?!?" Akane yelled.


"How long have you been here?" Ranko asked.


"Long enough." Nabiki answered. "The real

question is what will Ranma do when he finds out Akane

has been fooling around with his sister?"


"How much?" Akane asked.


"Nabiki! You can't blackmail her for that!" Ranko

yelled.


"Ranko baby, I can't have my sister move in on my

territory." Nabiki said and went over and kissed Ranko.

They both turned to see the shocked look on Akane's face.


"You two are..." Akane said.


"I suppose you had to find out eventually." Ranko

said. "Nabiki and I are lovers."


"So it wasn't an act." Akane said. "You really are a

lesbian."


"Actually, we're both bisexual." Ranko said.


"Let's get back to discussing the price of my

silence." Nabiki said.


"It's not her..."


Nabiki put a finger to Ranko's lips. "Watch and

learn."


"What's this going to cost me?" Akane asked.


"I'd rather that Daddy and Mr. Saotome didn't know

about me and Ranko." Nabiki said. "So if you keep our

activities to yourself, then I might forget that tonight's

incident ever happened."


"Thanks, Nabiki." Akane said. "I realize you could

have asked for more."


"Yeah. Well, I guess being in love is making me

soft." Nabiki said and then turned to Ranko. "What do you

say we spend tonight in my room?"


"I've got to talk to Akane first." Ranko said. 'I'll be

over in a few minutes."


"Don't be too long." Nabiki said and kissed her

before leaving.


"What do you want to talk about?" Akane asked.


"You're not the only person who knows about us."

Ranko said. "Kasumii found out this morning."


"What did she do?" Akane asked.


"Actually, she took it rather well." Ranko replied.

"She just said that she wants me to help Ranma adjust to his

curse."


"What's that have to do with me?" Akane asked.


"Well, Nabiki makes love to me in both my forms."

Ranko answered. "If things work out between you and

Ranma, do you think you could do something like that with

him?"


"I don't know." Akane replied. "I used to think I

was straight, but I'm not so sure anymore."


"Loving Ranma as a girl doesn't necessarily mean that

you're not straight. He's still a guy on the inside." Ranko

said. "It's all a matter of perspective."


"But won't he think I'm a pervert?" Akane asked.


"I'll explain that love between two women isn't

perverted."


"Thanks." Akane said. "Um, Ranko?"


"Yes?"


"I don't know if it was the love potion, but...well..."

Akane said.


"C'mon. Spit it out." Ranko said.


"Well...does it always taste that good?" Akane

asked and blushed.


Ranko giggled. "I guess 'spit it out' was a poor

choice of words."


--------------------------------------------------


It's finally done.


One of the reasons this took so long was that I got a Sony

Play Station with Final Fantasy 7 and Ghost in the Shell.


Anyway, the next part will be shorter and hopefully be out

quicker.


Thanks to T. H. for reminding me to limit Ranko's power

level. (Read Shikima Interface. It's delightfully twisted.)


Sent questions, comments, suggestions, etc. Avoid flames,

though, because they will only encourage me.


I'll start the next part after I get some feedback on this one.

Speaking of which:


Next episode: Kasumii said she wanted Ranko to help

Ranma adjust to his curse. But would she approve of

Ranko's hands on approach. What happens when you put

two aquatransexuals in a hotel room together? See you

next time for 'Three Nights'.


Onwards to Part 3


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