<h2 align=center>Story Three: "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry"</h2>
<p align=left>
Chapter One </P>
<p align=left>He looked down on the streets of Nerima, his cloak billowing in the wind.</P>
<p align=left>"He can't hide forever. Sooner or later, he'll have to give in to his own compulsions."
</P>
<p align=left>He lovingly caressed the silver-and-gold thing hanging from his belt. "He comes along, and I get the Bridle of Anubis on him. Then, he'll be in my power!</P>
<p align=left>"And then, he'll give me a new name! A *real* name!"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose Taro laughed egomaniacally.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko allowed herself to relax. She felt the open space of
the dojo around her, the feel of the target before her ...</P>
<p align=left>Ranko focused on her self-image; vibrant, alive, feminine,
gorgeous (if she did say so herself), absolutely confident
of her ability to handle anyone or anything.</P>
<p align=left>"DOKO RAKURAI!"</P>
<p align=left>The brilliant yellow-white ki-blast shredded the target
dummy before her.</P>
<p align=left>"Yatta!" she cried, hopping in joy. "Ranko Saotome kicks
ass!"</P>
<p align=left>The sudden applause made Ranko almost jump out of her
slippers.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked down from her spot on the ceiling. "Tofu-
sensei! What brings you by?" She dropped down to the floor.
"And how did you sneak up on me?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Ranko-chan, I came by to check up on my newest
patient, namely you." He smiled warmly at her. "And as to
the sneaking - that's an ancient chiropractor's secret."</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled along with the doctor.</P>
<p align=left>"By the way," he continued, "I'd like to check on Ranma-kun
also. Is he around?"</P>
<p align=left>"No," Ranko answered, "He took your advice and took Akane-
chan away for awhile. That was two days ago."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu nodded. "Good. They both need it. And what about you,
Ranko-chan?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned away, trying to cover up her blush. (Calm
yourself, girl. He calls lots of girls 'chan'; he's just
being polite.) "I'm - well, Tofu-sensei."</P>
<p align=left>"Good. And what was this you were practicing?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, this," Ranko said cheerily. "This was the Doko
Rakurai."</P>
<p align=left>"'Magnificent Phoenix Thunderbolt'?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, I have all of Ranma's training - due to our special
relationship - but I'm a different person. When I tried to
use the Moko Takabisha, it failed. I did some thinking, and
I figured out what went wrong.</P>
<p align=left>"I went through the mental exercises, and I realized that I
was summoning the wrong power."</P>
<p align=left>"Indeed?" Tofu asked, listening intently.</P>
<p align=left>"My Doko Rakurai is based on confidence," Ranko continued.
"Just like the Moko Takabisha, but it's a different
confidence. Confidence comes from many things, including
self-image. Ranma's ki-summoning exercises were based on his
confidence in his masculinity, among other things."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu nodded in understanding. "So you modified the
exercises, instead concentrating on your femininity?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yep," she replied proudly. "And now -" She spun around and
released a small ki-blast at a speed-bag across the dojo,
blasting a hole in it, "- I am seriously hot stuff!"</P>
<p align=left>"Modest, too," he commented.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh yes, I am so modest and soft-spoken," Ranko said
seriously. "If it weren't for my modesty, I might realize
how truly great I really am."</P>
<p align=left>He smiled at her sarcasm.</P>
<p align=left>"I came here with another purpose -" Tofu began.</P>
<p align=left>"I knew it!" Ranko interrupted. "A Man with an Ulterior
Motive traps a Helpless Maiden in the dojo! Alas, I am
doomed to be ravished!" She flung an arm across her face.
"Oh, whatever will I do?" She gave him a wink.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu cracked up. Ranko fought the giggles as the doctor
leaned against the doorframe, laughing.</P>
<p align=left>"Finished yet?" she asked playfully.</P>
<p align=left>"Just a minute," he chortled.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smiled at his response.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu allowed the laugh to die down, while trying not to
notice how Ranko's smile changed her face from cute to
dazzling...</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Ranko-chan," he began, pacing toward the display
nook, trying not to let his reaction to the girl show, "I
came to offer you a job as my receptionist."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko thought about that. "Why me? Why not advertise?"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu sighed. "I had trouble keeping a good receptionist even
before my sabbatical. Since I returned last month, I haven't
been able to keep a receptionist two days running."
</P>
<p align=left>"Is it that bad?" Ranko asked.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu nodded. "Along with my regular patients, I also have my
... exotic patients. Many with ... unusual complaints."</P>
<p align=left>"Like Jusenkyo curses?"</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"Among others."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko wondered about that. "And you figured that I wouldn't
have much problem coping with that kind of thing?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes," he answered. "In all honesty, that was the deciding
factor."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko thought about it a moment. "I'll be starting school
tomorrow. It'll have to mesh with my school schedule."</P>
<p align=left>"No problem, Ranko-chan," he said. "I can work with that.
Most of my more unusual business takes place at later hours
anyway."</P>
<p align=left>"Okay, I'll come by after school and get acquainted."</P>
<p align=left>"Excellent."</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(The next morning...)</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki and Ranko walked to school, Nabiki along the
sidewalk, and Ranko atop the canal fence.</P>
<p align=left>Thanks to Nabiki's legerdemain with records (plus some
'friends' whom she wouldn't talk about), Ranko Saotome now
had a legitimate existence, paper trail and all, and was
enrolled as a student at Furinkan High School.</P>
<p align=left>"Y'know," Nabiki mentioned, "Akane refused to run on top to
the fence because someone might look up her skirt."</P>
<p align=left>"No one's here to look, Biki." The redhead cast a sideways
glance at the mahogany-haired girl, smiling slyly. "Or does
the wind blow that way?"</P>
<p align=left>"Ha-ha," Nabiki complained. "Well, if anyone were here, they
wouldn't need to try to peep - not with *that* outfit."</P>
<p align=left>"What's wrong with my uniform?" Ranko asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Nothing's wrong - if you worked in Soapland."</P>
<p align=left>Both wore the girls' uniform of Furinkan: a light-blue
jumper with a short-sleeve white blouse. But while Nabiki
wore the standard uniform, Ranko wore hers ... slightly
modified.</P>
<p align=left>The jumper was, perhaps, two sizes too small, accentuating
her overly-developed curves from hips to shoulders. The
shirt was also a bit too small, as well as several buttons
undone to show a shockingly casual amount of cleavage.</P>
<p align=left>With the high-heeled shoes, she looked less like a real
schoolgirl than some hentai's vision of a schoolgirl.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stuck her tongue out. "C'mon, Biki, you know I like
dressing like a girl."</P>
<p align=left>"A girl dressed by Happosai, maybe." Nabiki grumbled. "At
least button the shirt a bit and lose the heels. Good
grief."</P>
<p align=left>"No, he wouldn't ... right now. All Happosai can do *now* is
mess diapers and smear strained beets in his hair."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki chuckled. "Oh, you should have seen him yesterday."</P>
<p align=left>"What?" Ranko asked. "Happosai?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah. Shampoo came by, trying to see if I knew where Ryoga
was - she's been looking for him since the typhoon - and she
had Happosai with her. He was so cute! Hard to believe it's
the same guy who stole my panties so many times.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Hinako-sensei came by in her chibi-form, and went ga-
ga over him. When Shampoo mentioned his name, I managed to
sell her the story for ten thousand yen."</P>
<p align=left>"I'd though you'd charge more, considering their history,"
Ranko commented.</P>
<p align=left>"I did, but I never tell the truth of my financial dealings
to anyone - especially relatives."</P>
</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smiled. According to Nabiki, she was a 'relative' now.
<p align=left>"Anyway, once it sunk into her that this was Happosai, she
whipped out a funnel and a bottle of laxative and yelled
'Revenge is Mine!' She and Shampoo and Mousse got into it,
and I had to save them."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked surprised and skeptical. "*You* saved Shampoo
and Mousse - the greatest Amazon warriors of their
generation - from Hinako - arguably the most powerful woman
on Earth?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yep." Nabiki answered smugly. "And I'll tell you how I did
it for a thousand yen."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smirked at Nabiki. "Some things will *never* change -
one hundred."</P>
<p align=left>"Nine hundred."</P>
<p align=left>"One fifty."</P>
<p align=left>After a bit, the pair settled at five hundred twenty-five
yen.</P>
<p align=left>"Well," Nabiki said after collecting the payment, "Hinako
used the funnel to drain Shampoo and Mousse's battle auras,
but I didn't have a battle aura - and I'm helpless little
Nabiki, not a martial artist, so she didn't even look at me
- so I whacked her on the head with my books."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko couldn't help laughing as they approached the school.</P>
<p align=left>Suddenly, a mighty roar erupted; "RANKO, DATE WITH ME!"</P>
<p align=left>A rumbling thunder sounded as the Horde of Hentais - quiet
for so long - charged from the school in a misguided attempt
to date the gorgeous redhead.</P>
<p align=left>(Akane's Legacy,) Ranko said to herself. (They'll be bugging
every pretty girl martial artist in Nerima forever, most
likely.)</P>
<p align=left>(Unless someone does something about it.)</P>
<p align=left>The Horde expected that Ranko would charge into them like
Akane did, or run away. Instead, she just stood there with
her hands held before her.</P>
<p align=left>"DOKO RAKURAI!!"</P>
<p align=left>The ki-bolt tore into the pavement in front of the Horde.
The mob of boys milled briefly, then resumed their charge.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki backed away while appraising the action. (Ranma never
used ki-blasts except against exotic types.)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko jumped and ducked and dodged and weaved through the
mob, never hitting or being hit. She had an enormous grin on
her face, and her bubbly laughter could be heard clearly
over the mob noise.</P>
<p align=left>"C'mon, boys! Give me a workout! Make me sweat! Perhaps I
should get some *real* men from the elementary school -
there sure aren't any here!"</P>
<p align=left>The taunts goaded the mob on, leading them to chase her more
and more recklessly, not looking at what she was doing.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki saw what Ranko was doing. She was leading them in a
circle - or more exactly, a spiral ...</P>
<p align=left>"She wouldn't," Nabiki said to herself. Then realized, yes,
she would.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko suddenly did a ten-meter back flip out of the milling
mob. "Okay, boys! Playtime's over!"</P>
<p align=left>"YAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Nabiki exclaimed, diving under a nearby
car.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko punched the air in an uppercut.</P>
<p align=left>"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!!"</P>
<p align=left>The roar of the sudden vortex drowned out everything else,
as a tornado formed in the midst of the mob. The vortex
sucked up the hentais, sucking them into the air and
flinging them around the schoolyard.</P>
<p align=left>As the vortex dispersed, teenage boys fell from the sky with
thuds and groans. Nabiki got up from under the car and ran
up to the Saotome girl.</P>
<p align=left>"What the hells are you doing?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"Winning the fight," Ranko said, not even breathing hard.</P>
<p align=left>"Using a Hiryu Shoten Ha on *schoolboys*?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"I fired a warning shot."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki calmed herself. "*Ranma* never -"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not Ranma," Ranko interrupted firmly. "Ranma paces
himself. he never allows everything he has to show, and lets
his opponents think that they almost beat him. That way, his
enemies don't consider him a major threat."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko picked up her books from the vicinity. "I, on the
other hand, believe in ending fights quickly, and in as
demoralizing a fashion as possible."</P>
<p align=left>"You could have killed someone!" Nabiki protested.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko giggled. "These dips couldn't develop enough battle-
aura from the whole mass of them to create more than the
smallest Hiryu Shoten Ha. They're battered, but not broken.
*And* the custom of beating up pretty girl martial artists
dies here."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked at the scattered mob of teenage hentais. (Yep,
I don't think you could *pay* these boys to go after Ranko
again.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Hikaru Gosunkugi stared wide-eyed through the gym. A rumor
had started the day before that the gym was haunted, and the
self-proclaimed magician decided to check out what kind of
spirits were hanging around the high school gymnasium.</P>
<p align=left>The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics team had been scared
during their practice when a intense moan pierced the
acoustically-sound building. It was shortly followed by a
lower moan, building up to a shriek and then a long and loud
scream. One student that ran by Gosunkugi was yelling that
it sounding like someone was slowly being tortured.</P>
<p align=left>He thought about it. After all these years, the sudden
appearance of spirits in the gym was a little out there. He
had a better idea of what it could be. He *knew*, especially
after he got his new book '1001 Spells, Incantations, and
Hexes: From Love Dolls to Getting that Stubborn Grease Stain
Out of Your Shirt'. It had to be only one thing ...</P>
<p align=left>DEMONS!!</P>
<p align=left>And Hikaru Gosunkugi was going to exorcise them himself!</P>
<p align=left>"Then Akane-san will love *ME*, for I am a greater sorcerer
than that Saotome! *I* will be the one to get rid of the
demons!"</P>
<p align=left>His monologue was cut short when a faint whimper echoed
through the gym, shortly followed by a moan, then
unintelligible whispering in a madness.</P>
<p align=left>Gosunkugi swallowed and edged toward the door. The noise
increased softly, groans and moans overlapping each other.
(Two demons?) The sound seemed to be coming from all over
the gym; no place could be traced as the source of the noise
from beyond.</P>
<p align=left>A scream broke through. Gosunkugi lost his resolve and
quickly bolted out of the building, squealing as if all the
oni in Japan were after him.</P>
<p align=left>Moments later, a pair of giggles poured through the gym.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Two</P>
<p align=left>Rumors had started like wildfire that week at the high
school. The fact that Ranma and Akane had been seen acting
like they were finally in love (then their disappearance
after the typhoon), combined with the sudden appearance of
Ranko, was good grist for the rumor mill.</P>
<p align=left>But it was nothing compared to the rumor that a huge orgy
was going on at Ukyo Kounji's restaurant during the typhoon.
<p align=left>"Hey, Nabiki-san!" a student yelled in the lunch line. "How
about a scoop on the orgy? Who was there?"</P>
<p align=left>"Give me fifteen thousand yen!" she yelled back, holding her
lunch tray in front of her, then turned to Ranko and
whispered. "Will you *please* button your top, at least?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smirked at her lunch companion. "Why so prudish all of
a sudden, Biki-chan? You've sold enough naughty photos of
this body to rival Playboy. I'll bet that there isn't a guy
here who doesn't own at least one."</P>
<p align=left>"You weren't family then!" she replied testily. "I don't
sell nudies of family!"</P>
<p align=left>"Not even Akane?"</P>
<p align=left>
"There's a difference between suggestive and smutty!" Nabiki
insisted. "Not a single guy except Ranma - and Ryoga, the
pervert - know what Akane looks like naked! And if I knew
this engagement thing would work out - and that you existed
- no one would know what *you* look like, either!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko glanced around the busy cafeteria, noticing that half
of the male students had various amounts of drool dribbling
down their chins. The other half were being beaten by
girlfriends for looking at the red-headed temptation.</P>
<p align=left>"You know, perhaps you're right, Biki," Ranko said
thoughtfully. "Perhaps I'll tone it down a bit."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki smiled, elbowing her way through the crowd and to a
table.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Ranko, where's Ranma and Akane?" someone asked.</P>
<p align=left>She didn't even get a chance to tell them 'None of your
business' before everyone in earshot contributed their two
yen's worth.</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, what happened to them?"</P>
<p align=left>"I hear Akane's pregnant with Ranma's lovechild."</P>
<p align=left>"Really? Oh, wow!"</P>
<p align=left>"I hear they ran off to America and got married there."</P>
<p align=left>"And that they're living in a commune."</P>
<p align=left>"Nah, it's a multiple marriage."</P>
<p align=left>"Do you think Akane will have twins?"</P>
<p align=left>"I wonder if she has sex with him when he turns into a
girl?"</P>
<p align=left>"He doesn't turn into a girl anymore, idiot! See? There's
his girl half!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki sighed and Ranko plastered an idiot grin across her
face to hide her laughter.</P>
<p align=left>"NO!! NO!!" came the cry from across the room. "YOU'LL NEVER
MAKE ME GO BACK TO THAT DEMON-FILLED HELLHOLE!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Who's that?" a student asked. "The substitute teacher for
Remedial Math?"</P>
<p align=left>"The janitor," another responded. "Didn't you here? The
gym's haunted."</P>
<p align=left>"You're kidding!" the first one said.</P>
<p align=left>"Really! Yesterday, he and some of the coaches heard this
horrible wailing and moaning noise. It came from nowhere! It
was so strange and eerie, they ran out and haven't been back
since!"</P>
<p align=left>"I heard Gosunkugi tried an exorcism," a third student
chimed in, "And ran out like he had bats in his hair."</P>
<p align=left>"No, he runs differently when he has bats in his hair,"
someone else noted.</P>
<p align=left>"Bats in his belfry, maybe," the first student grumbled. The
other two chuckled.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki and Ranko looked at each other, then slapped hands
over their mouths to keep from laughing out loud.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko was pretty sure her Niichan and Akane-chan were
enjoying themselves way too much for their own good. Perhaps
Akane could break down his guard. Unlikely, but it was fun
to think about.</P>
<p align=left>She offered a prayer to Ranma and Akane, and made a note to
check on them in a few days ... just to make sure they're
still alive. (The idea of newspaper headlines stating 'Young
Lovers Found Dead in Secret Attic' and the investigator
being quoted as saying 'Cause of death: heart failure.'
would not be good.) She giggled to herself.</P>
<p align=left>She couldn't think about that now; she had to prepare for
her 'interview' with Tofu-sensei that evening. She hadn't
enough experience to judge properly, she admitted to
herself, and needed some advice on what to wear.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"DIE, HIBIKI!!!" the Amazon boy cried, swinging an over-
sized mace toward a wall.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga Hibiki had jumped the stone wall only seconds ago, but
the heavy projectile plowed through, sending chunks of rock
spraying in all directions.</P>
<p align=left>"Can you tell me *why* you're trying to kill me, at
least??" Ryoga asked in exasperation.</P>
<p align=left>"Because," Mousse growled, "As soon as Ranma gets out of the
way, you try to steal my Shampoo!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Aw, come *on*!" Ryoga sighed, leaping above the still
swinging mace. "I don't love Shampoo! She's as crazy as
you!"</P>
<p align=left>"Don't you dare insult my Goddess!" Mousse continued,
bringing out a potato peeler from his robe sleeve, making a
line toward Ryoga's lower regions.</P>
<p align=left>"Eeep!" the Lost Boy blocked and deflected the peeler to the
side with his combat umbrella. Then connected his foot to
the side of Mousse's head, sending him flying right into a
nearby puddle, a reminder of the typhoon.</P>
<p align=left>A bespectacled duck splashed around in the puddle, regaining
his bearings, only to discover that his *new* sworn enemy
had disappeared.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne nodded slowly, a smile stretched across her wide
mouth.</P>
<p align=left>(Very good, Hibiki, very good. You would do the Amazon
nation honor by marrying my great-granddaughter. Now, to
convince you that you are in love with her ... )</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo was playing 'peek-a-boo' with Chibi-Happi, as they
were temporarily naming him until the tribe officiated his
adoption into the clan with his Amazon name.</P>
<p align=left>"{Peek-a-boo, I see you!}" she sang in the dialect of the
Amazons. (After all, he'd be raised an Amazon, there's no
need for him to learn Japanese until later.)</P>
<p align=left>Chibi-Happi gurgled and squealed, giggling at the purple-
haired young woman. He tried to grab at the bells hanging
from her hair, their chiming fascinating him to no end.</P>
<p align=left>"{You are *so* cute!}" Shampoo cooed. "{I am going to
raise you to be a good man who doesn't steal panties. You'll
be such a cute boy. Maybe you'll marry one of my and Ryoga's
daughters!}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sighed, grinning silly. She enjoyed not having to
chase and tempt and act like a bimbo for Ranma. Ryoga was
different ... he was more respectful towards women, meek and
modest with them. She always found it cute, and now she
realized all the repressed fantasies she had of him.</P>
<p align=left>Unlike with Ranma, she *could* see herself married to Ryoga,
with their own place and their children running around, both
of them teaching adorable little Shampoos and adorable
little Ryogas how to fight and make adorable little ki-
blasts. She would come home after a hard day with the
militia or at the council hall, and Ryoga would have dinner
ready and a nice cup of tea for her.</P>
<p align=left>Then, all the delightful nights (or afternoons, depending
upon her fancy) of both of them in happy violence. He'll
*learn* to appreciate her taste for chocolate sauce and silk
scarves and all sorts of role-playing.</P>
<p align=left>She smiled, and went back to making faces for Chibi-Happi to
giggle at, kicking his little feet in the air.</P>
<p align=left>Goddess, she loved being a mother at last!</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(Later that day, at the Tendo Dojo ... )</P>
<p align=left>Ranko changed her dress for the fifth time that afternoon.
She stood in front of the full-length mirror in the room she
shared with Kasumi. Kasumi was smiling indulgently at her.</P>
<p align=left>"It's only Tofu-sensei, Ko-chan," she stated, sipping her
tea and going back to her romance novel.</P>
<p align=left>"Right ... " the redhead replied, zipping the front of a
leopard print shirt up over her cleavage, then unzipping it
back down. She made a face. "Errr, rotten!"</P>
<p align=left>She stripped again, pulling on a dragon print Chinese dress
of emerald green.</P>
<p align=left>"Ooh," the eldest Tendo daughter chirped. "That's nice!"</P>
<p align=left>"Is it appropriate, though?" Ranko babbled. "I don't want to
offend him."</P>
<p align=left>A blank look crossed Kasumi's face, then she lit up. (Could
it be that Ko-chan ... ?)</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my ... " she murmured, smiling. "Oh my, oh my, oh my."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko didn't hear her, as she was attempting to brush her
hair out to the long fullness of her red mane. She studied
her large blue eyes in the mirror and turned to face Kasumi.</P>
<p align=left>"Well?"</P>
<p align=left>"Beautiful."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko hugged her tightly. "Arigato."</P>
<p align=left>"Now go on. I'll have dinner ready when you get home."</P>
<p align=left>"All right."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Outside the Dojo, a cloaked figure leapt to the top of the
house.</P>
<p align=left>(The Old Pervert hangs out around here, usually trying to
glomp onto Fem-Boy and his butch fiancée. I can ambush him
here and then - WHAM! He's mine!)</P>
<p align=left>He saw a female figure in green walking away from the house.
Being male and lonely, he looked appraisingly - then noticed
the hair.</P>
<p align=left>(Fem-Boy,) he thought, disgusted. (It looks like the
transgender freak's slid all the way over. Too bad he's a
guy - great butt.) With a quick bound, he sailed into the
air and landed in the street in front of the redhead.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko rolled her eyes. "I do *not* need this," she mumbled.</P>
<p align=left>"Don't worry, Fem-boy. I'm not here to whip you again. I was
looking for the freak."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smiled. "Sorry, mistaken identity. I'm Ranma's sister,
Ranko. He's not here. And Happosai's ... gone."</P>
<p align=left>"Out on a panty raid?" he smirked.</P>
<p align=left>"No. For all practical intents and purposes, he's as good as
dead."</P>
<p align=left>"What's that supposed to mean?" Taro snapped. "Did he get
killed?"</P>
<p align=left>"Look, just go to the Dojo, and they'll explain everything.
I'm busy. Now, if you'll excuse me -"</P>
<p align=left>"Hold it, Ranma-"</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko!"</P>
<p align=left>"Whatever! I want the freak, and I need to know if he's
alive or dead!"</P>
<p align=left>"Look, Pantyhose -"</P>
<p align=left>"Don't call me that, Ranma!"</P>
<p align=left>"Don't call me Ranma! if you want him, go to the Nekohanten!
Now get lost!"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose waved a hand dismissively. "Like the Amazons would
let him get in a mile of them! Now what about Happosai?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko let her battle aura flare up. "I have to get to the
clinic NOW, you obsessed weirdo! Save it for later!"</P>
<p align=left>"Who cares about your pathetic little games, Fem-boy?"</P>
<p align=left>"THAT'S IT!" she yelled. "TAKE *THAT*, YOU [CENSORED]!!"v
<p align=left>Pantyhose was shocked by the suddenness of the blow, as well
as the sheer savagery. Ranma had never launched an attack so
brutally before.</P>
<p align=left>Of course, he didn't think of it like that. It was hard to
think clearly after being kneed in the groin several hundred
times in less than a second.</P>
<p align=left>As Pantyhose writhed on the pavement, Ranko very carefully
stepped on his face as she left, still extremely pissed.</P>
<p align=left>"Damned mutated freak!" she mumbled under her breath. "Too
stupid to change his own name himself.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka looked over at the bed as she got her robe on, gazing
at Ichiro's sleeping face.</P>
<p align=left>She had taken Ichiro to his house, but his wife was still
lost, and he hadn't been able to locate Ryoga. She had just
intended to allow him to stay at her house as a guest,
certain all of the emotions were behind her.</P>
<p align=left>Her good intentions lasted less than five minutes before
they were tearing at each other's clothes on the living room
sofa.</P>
<p align=left>She kicked herself mentally for allowing it to happen again
(and again, and again). She knew that had they not been
married to other people, she likely would have attempted to
become Ichiro's wife. He had all the kindness and love that
Genma had once had, combined with a gentle strength (and the
ability to make her emit sounds in the high ultrasonic
range).</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka looked in the mirror. She saw, not for the first
time, the strong resemblance between herself and Ranko.
She'd have to ask (discreetly, of course) about her
provenance. Cousins, perhaps?</P>
<p align=left>She wanted to make peace with Ranko; she'd always wanted a
daughter, and had hoped to have one of her own one day.
She'd attempted to turn 'Ranko Tendo' into a foster
daughter, and might yet succeed with Ranko Saotome.</P>
<p align=left>Yes, today she'd go over to the Tendo home and talk with
Ranko. She'd forgive the girl her unseemly outburst, and
they could become fast friends.</P>
<p align=left>And, of course, Ranma and Akane's wedding. She'd already
made initial preparations - luckily, she knew a Shinto
priest who could perform a traditional ceremony cheap. As
soon as her son and his fiancée returned from their trip,
they could proceed with the ceremony.</P>
<p align=left>(And hopefully, in nine months - or less, if Ranma took
after his biological father - she could look forward to
being a grandmother; All the joys of motherhood, but none of
the dirty diapers.)</P>
<p align=left>Sighing, she went to fix Ichiro and herself a late lunch.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki spent the afternoon poking around her father's den.
What she overheard the Old Men say the other day after
dinner had made her wonder what they were up to. Evidently,
their little plan with Nodoka forcing her sister and Ranma
to the altar had failed miserably (the happy couple had
left right after the typhoon - kind of hard to hit a moving target).</P>
<p align=left>Yet, it still tugged and tugged at her curiosity.</P>
<p align=left>Until her chance came.</P>
<p align=left>Her sister and her sister's fiancé were safely hiding out,
Ko-chan had gone to the clinic, and the Old Men were at the
bathhouse. Kasumi was happily making dinner in the kitchen.
She had the house virtually to herself. Not for long, but a
short while was all Nabiki needed.</P>
<p align=left>She had turned the desk and filing cabinets inside out,
finding all sorts of useful and puzzling documents.
Incorporation papers, contracts, various financial
statements.</P>
<p align=left>A huge financial structure was outlined in the documents.
Put together, they painted a very odd picture; over the past
twenty years, her father and Genma Saotome had created a
huge network of dummy corporations, in which one of them
would be the CEO and contract with a company of which the
other was the CEO for services which were never delivered.</P>
<p align=left>Yet there was no money. The bare minimums were kept in
banks, and token amounts were paid on outstanding balances.</P>
<p align=left>By reflex, Nabiki totaled the amount spent each year on
keeping this paper tiger of a financial empire afloat - and
recognized the amount instantly. The 'Special Miscellaneous'
fund in the household budget, which Nabiki had assumed her
father spent on booze, gambling, and trips to sex clubs,
like any decent Japanese man. Instead, he spent it on ...
this.</P>
<p align=left>But why? It seemed pointless.</P>
<p align=left>At last, turning up nothing that could tell her what her
daddy and Genma were up to, she crawled up on the desk and
sat down in meditation.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki didn't care much for the esoterics of the mental
exercise, but it did have its uses; if one knew how, one
could tap into the gut center of Things to find what she is
looking for.</P>
<p align=left>It was a trick she learned from Kasumi, who inherited their
mother's gift for 'second sight'. Not enough to become a
seeress, but to have a feeling of knowingness. She supposed
that was why her older sister covered up her awareness with
a studied surprise.</P>
<p align=left>She closed her eyes and cleared her mind, feeling the space
around her. She reached her ki down into the desk under her,
slipping into the crevices and corners to find anything she
hadn't found before.</P>
<p align=left>Ah, there! Between the drawers and the wall of the desk in
the far back.</P>
<p align=left>She slid off the desk and pulled a drawer out, probing her
arm to the back to locate the folder. Seconds later, she
pulled a manila legal size folder out of the desk. She
assembled the desk back together and stole out of the den
and into her upstairs room.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Daddy, let's see why you've *really* been pushing
Imouto-chan into marrying Ranma-kun all this time," she
murmured to herself, opening the folder.</P>
<p align=left>She read the yellowed papers silently. A puzzled look
crossed her face. "Ranma's maternal grandfather's will?"</P>
<p align=left>She continued reading, finding out what kind of man Nodoka's
father was from the snide comments concerning certain
relatives and the irony of what they received.</P>
<p align=left>(Mean bastard, ruthless, miserly, perverse and nasty sense
of humor ... if he weren't dead, I'd marry him.) The only
ones he treated with kindness in the document were his late
wife and his daughter ... and Ranma ...</P>
<p align=left>"'To my grandson, Ranma Saotome, son of my lovely daughter
Nodoka and her idiot husband Genma Saotome, I leave the rest
of my fortune, holdings, lands, and titles, to be received
on his twenty-fifth birthday, or when he marries, whichever
occurs first.'"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my," Nabiki breathed. She hopped up and went to the
phone, dialing a credit firm she had an account with.</P>
<p align=left>"Hi, Hiro? Nabiki. I need information on a trust fund. The
name is ..." She gave the pertinent information and waited.</P>
<p align=left>Her hand was shaking as she hung up the phone. "Thirteen -
BILLION - yen???" she gasped. [Author's note - approximately
$100 million US]</P>
<p align=left>(This is serious. Daddy and Genma-baka are going to swindle
Ranma and Akane out of their inheritance.) She sat down on
her bed, sorting out everything. (Ranma and Akane are below
the age of majority. They marry, and their financial matters
would be handled by their legal guardians - Genma and
Otosan.)</P>
<p align=left>(All those dummy companies would instantly be flooded with
cash - which would vanish into a mess of accounting
cubbyholes, secret accounts, et cetera. The Old Farts retire
to Tahiti, leaving Ranma and Akane with nothing but a
broken-down old dojo.)</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki's eyes flashed. "And they were cutting ME out, too!!
NO ONE cuts Nabiki Tendo out of a business deal! They will
PAY!!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki started to meditate upon a plan of action.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane snuggled in each other's arms.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma found himself marveling at her fragile beauty, hiding
the strength underneath. He had begun to grow accustomed to
watching her naked form (they hadn't really been dressed in
a couple of days), but he never stopped thinking of her as
beautiful.</P>
<p align=left>He lightly ran his fingertips along her side.</P>
<p align=left>Akane moaned and stirred, opening her eyes. "Hello,
stranger," she said dreamily. "If you're going to rape me,
do it quickly, before my fiancé shows up."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma giggled. "Good morning, pervert," he said, gently
kissing her forehead.</P>
<p align=left>"Morning?" she asked. "You sure?"</P>
<p align=left>"Dunno," he answered. "I just woke up."v
<p align=left>Akane thought a moment. "When did I become the pervert?"</P>
<p align=left>"Since we got here," Ranma replied, smiling. "I never even
*heard* of half the stuff you put us through."</P>
<p align=left>Akane giggled, wriggling against him. "When we go home, I'll
let you read my secret stash of ecchi manga. Guaranteed to
make you wish you had tentacles."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma kissed her gently along the side of her neck. Akane
felt the proof of his arousal pressing against her.</P>
<p align=left>"I just thought of something," she said.</P>
<p align=left>"You can still think?" he said with comic exaggeration. "I
must be doing something wrong."</P>
<p align=left>Akane giggled. "Nothing wrong with *that*, lover. I was just
wondering - if I'm the pervert, does that make you the
tomboy?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma looked confused, then smiled. "I suppose."</P>
<p align=left>Akane grabbed the glass of water near the bedroll and
splashed Ranma.</P>
<p align=left>"HEY!!" Ranma-onna protested. "What was *that* for??"</P>
<p align=left>"If you're going to be the tomboy, you should look the
part," Akane explained, rolling on top of her.</P>
<p align=left>"What are you doing?!?" Ranma asked (for the hundredth time
since they came up here).</P>
<p align=left>"Hush, girlie - you're my bitch now!" Akane growled, a smile
on her face. "Damn, but I always wondered about stuff like
this!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko approached the Nerima Medical Clinic. Her fists were
still clutched, her teeth still clenched, and her delicate
step was reduced to a sheer stomp.</P>
<p align=left>It was people with Pantyhose's attitude that upset her most.
She spent all of her life inside the head of a boy, been
fighting and arguing like one when she possessed Ranma to
cover up her existence. Being called 'Fem-boy' by the drip
was the highest offense. And him not even *listening* to her
either was as bad!</P>
<p align=left>"UGH!" she flung the door open. "OF ALL THE PIG-HEADED,
BAKAYAROU - "</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu looked up from the clipboard in his hands,
seeing his new receptionist with a red hot anger aura lit up
around her. He briefly admired the way her impressive chest
heaved with her hard breathing. He quickly snapped out of it
and put his clipboard down.</P>
<p align=left>"Good afternoon, Ranko-chan," he smiled, taking her arm
firmly. "Perhaps you'd like some tea and discuss your
duties."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko calmed down enough to let him guide her to his office,
yet still retained her rage, her body straining in
suppressed action. Tofu checked her emotional meter, and
decided it was best to be understanding and try to calm her
down. She was looking to start a fight to let out all the
anger.</P>
<p align=left>He plunked her down in the chair in front of his desk and
she leapt back up.</P>
<p align=left>"Creep should be tied to a bamboo stake ... " she muttered,
pacing around the doctor's office.</P>
<p align=left>He chuckled, pouring tea from the warm pot behind his desk.
"Who should be?"</P>
<p align=left>"Pantyhose Taro!"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu nodded slowly. He had heard of the boy who was cursed
with a variety of odd creatures. He arrived while the doctor
was on his sabbatical, and had never met the boy face-to-
face. From what Tofu had heard, this Pantyhose was not one
anyone would want to provoke.</P>
<p align=left>"Tell me what happened," he said, sitting down on his desk.v
<p align=left>Ranko recounted the whole conversation, eventually calming
enough to sit down and accept the tea from him.</P>
<p align=left>"But I don't get it!" she moaned in disgust. "I'm *not*
Ranma. I don't look like Ranma-onna now. I'm me. I'm Ranko
Saotome."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu shook his head sadly, reaching out to pat her shoulder
in friendly affection.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm afraid people will take a long while to recognize you
as your own being rather than as Ranma's female half."</P>
<p align=left>"But I'm actually not his female half, I'm his anima ... or
was ... " she closed her eyes. "Tofu-sensei, I am female,</P>
correct?"
<p align=left>(Wonderfully female!) "Undeniably female. All the physical,
mental, and emotional structures are there."</P>
<p align=left>"I am Ranko Saotome?"</P>
<p align=left>(Wonderfully Ko-chan!) Tofu cleared his throat. "That is the
name you have chosen."</P>
<p align=left>She looked up to meet his brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Tofu-
sensei, I didn't mean to ... " she hesitantly paused, highly
aware that his hand had slid down from her shoulder to her
hand.</P>
<p align=left>They both looked down at his hand covering hers on the
armrest. She was startled by his hands - rough textured but
gentle in their touch, so much larger compared to her own.
She ... liked his touch. It was calming, yet pulsed with ...
with ...</P>
<p align=left>He quickly pulled his hand back and murmured, "Gomen nasai,
Ranko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>She remained speechless. (No, it was just my imagination.)
she firmly decided.</P>
<p align=left>"Anyway," Tofu said calmly, "You must learn your duties at
the clinic."</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, I must," she cleared her throat and set her tea down.
"What does my position entail?"</P>
<p align=left>Glad to get a distraction, the doctor began describing the
duties of the job; records, appointments, and so forth.</P>
<p align=left>"And above all ... confidentiality! What occurs here goes no
further. The sacred bond between physician and patient
requires it."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded.</P>
<p align=left>"You can start immediately - the (chuckle) evening shift
should be beginning soon." As he walked her to the
receptionist's desk, he added, "And don't let the flying
leopards spook you too much."</P>
<p align=left>"Alright," she replied.</P>
<p align=left>As she checked the appointment book, she suddenly froze.</P>
<p align=left>(FLYING LEOPARDS???)</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Three</P>
<p align=left>The first hour at the clinic went by peacefully. Ranko
studied the files of the evening's appointments to have a
better understanding of the "exotic" patients that Doctor
Tofu had spoken of.</P>
<p align=left>Evidently, he started gaining this clientele a few months
back, after he had quite suddenly left Nerima without a word
or trace of where he had gone. The information provided in
the files suggested that the doctor had made his way through
China, Australia, then on to India, the Middle East, Russia,
Eastern Europe, Egypt ... practically all over Eurasia.</P>
<p align=left>And what beings did he accept under his care? The files
alone told strange tales - the actual patients were even
odder. Flying leopards were just the tip of the iceberg;
gargoyles, fallen angels, vampire toads, mummies, djinn,
were-beagles, talking dogs, mutant killer penguins, the
Russian Snow Queen ... no wonder the previous receptionists
had fled in terror ...</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko-chan?" a hand fell on her shoulder.</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAAAAAAK!!!" she leapt straight up, attaching herself to
the fluorescent light fixture.</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu smiled gently, looking up at the ceiling where
his new receptionist had become one with the lights. "You
weren't paying attention," he said.</P>
<p align=left>"Gomen, Tofu-sensei," she dropped down, landing back in her
seat. "When you mentioned 'exotic patients', I thought you
had meant us with Jusenkyo Curses." She indicated the files
in front of her.</P>
<p align=left>He nodded and sat on the corner of her desk. "Besides the
usual 'Nerima Wrecking Crew', I did expand my practice to
include truly exotic types. I was there, armed with what I
knew and studied, and healed many of them. They were willing
to come to me, and it upset my other receptionists. They
didn't really believe in the legends and myths of other
cultures." He smiled. "Or really wanted to."</P>
<p align=left>"What *did* you do while you were gone from Nerima?" she
asked, assembling the folders back together to be filed
away.</P>
<p align=left>He opened his mouth, then closed it, thinking. At last, he
replied, "We don't have a word for it, but the Aborigines of
Australia called it 'Walkabout'. It's similar to a mission,
but it has no direction or goal; like a physical meditation
of sorts."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded. "More like a cross between a mission and
Ryoga's wanderings."</P>
<p align=left>"Quite close. I was at that time in my life in which I had
to leave here and find 'myself'. I knew I was Tofu-sensei -
or 'Doc', as your twin so often called me - but I was not
aware of who Ono Tofu was."</P>
<p align=left><p align=left>"Hence, the 'Walkabout'," Ranko mused. "What did you find?"</P>
<p align=left>He smiled at her. He did feel she was a kindred soul,
intelligent enough to understand, empathetic enough to
share. Perfect Woman, wrapped up into a girl barely a week
old.</P>
<p align=left>"Well - "</P>
<p align=left>He was cut off by the five-forty-five appointment walking in
the main lobby - not quite walked, more like unicycled. A
demon stepped in front of her desk and stood on tip toe to
make eye contact with her. She noted the long black ears,
pale kabuki-like white face, red bloated nose, beady black
eyes, white malformed hands, and backward red cap. It
*could* have been a dog, but she wasn't making any bets on
it.</P>
<p align=left>"See Tofu?" the creature asked in broken Japanese.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded and Tofu bent down to his level, conversing in
some odd half-familiar language she never heard of. It
*sounded* like the English that Ranma (and, likewise, she)
had learned overseas as children, but was more vulgar
sounding and rough. Probably a lot more slang terms, or a
regional accent.</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu stood up and smiled. "As patients arrive, just
have them sign in. If they don't have a file, start one with
the medical history sheets right here."</P>
<p align=left>"Hai, sensei."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned back to her desk and stared at the sign-in
sheet she was sure had been empty a moment ago.</P>
<p align=left>"'Wakko Warner.'" she read.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"{Whooz my widdle bunny-wabbit?}" the question was answered
by a gurgle and a splash of water.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo was giving Chibi-Happi a warm bath in the large sink
in the back of the Nekohanten. She had to make sure his tiny
fists didn't grab at a wet sponge and put it in his mouth;
Hiba-chan told her he might turn back into a pervert if he
did.</P>
<p align=left>She smiled, running her fingers over his smooth skin,
massaging him gently with the soap. A few weeks from now,
they were going back to the village, and then Chibi-Happi
will truly be her baby at last. She still hadn't decided on
a name yet: Rinse, Conditioner, Gel, Relaxer, Hairspray, Hot
Oil ...</P>
<p align=left>There was still time. Yet, Ryoga had been avoiding her, and
she was decidedly worried about trying to get him to marry
her. She was so alone ... none of her Airens have wanted
her, and Mousse was just a steam bun without any filling.</P>
(It's time to make the Lost Boy *mine*.) she firmly decided.
(For once, the Monkey-Mummy and I are in agreement.)</P>
<p align=left>She rinsed Chibi-Happi and wrapped him up in a towel,
carrying him into the main part of the restaurant. Cologne
looked up from a large book of spells, recipes, and
household cleaning tips.</P>
<p align=left>"{Grandmother! I have to marry Ryoga Hibiki!}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne grinned, slamming her book shut. "{About time,
child! Here's my plan - }"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo shifted Chibi-Happi to her hip. "{Pardon me,
Honorable Elder, but I must win him myself. If I am to
succeed you as Matriarch of the Amazons, I must take
responsibility upon myself to claim my husband.}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne barely allowed her approval for her great-
granddaughter's announcement show. Her face remained neutral
as she nodded slowly.</P>
<p align=left>"{And how are you going to do that?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo hesitated. She hadn't thought about it - as of yet.
"{I'll try all I can - without glomping. That wasn't
particularly successful before. Where is he?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Mousse is still fighting him somewhere around Nerima.
Shall I look after the baby while you look for him?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Please.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo handed the infant to her great-grandmother and
bounced out of the cafe, her apron flapping around her.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne sighed, and shook her head. (Hopefully she'll
succeed. We always need some strong blood in the Amazon
nation ... I wonder what kind of people Hibiki's parents
were to produce such a martial artist ... )</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(That evening ...)</P>
<p align=left>(THUD!!)</P>
<p align=left>Soun staggered to his feet in the smelly alleyway.</P>
<p align=left>(THUD!!)</P>
<p align=left>Soun groaned under the mass of the Genma that had been
thrown on top of him.</P>
<p align=left>"AND STAY OUT!!" the bouncer yelled. "At least until you two
bums can pay your friggin' tab!"</P>
<p align=left>"Is this enny way ta treat the Masters of Anything-Goes
Martial Arts?" Genma drunkenly exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left>"Hear! Hear!" Soun agreed from under him.</P>
<p align=left>"Feh," quoth the bouncer, who slammed the alley entrance to
the tavern behind him.</P>
<p align=left>"When our idiot children marry, Tendo an' me are gonna buy
ev'ry bar, pub, tavern, and liquor shop in Tokyo!" Genma
shouted at the closed door. "Then we see who says 'feh', ya
ape!"</P>
<p align=left>"Whu'now?" Soun mumbled.</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"Gotta get sake," Genma stated.</P>
<p align=left>"Yah," Soun agreed, "But tha' wuz da last bar, pub, tavern,
or liquor shop in Nerima tha' would take our bizness."</P>
<p align=left>"Bastards!" Genma protested. "Don' dey know that our kids
getting married will ged us a shitload of money??"</P>
<p align=left>"Don' care," Soun mumbled.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, we gonna show dem," Genma replied. "We're gonna ged
drunk ennyway!"</P>
<p align=left>"Good plan, Saotome!" Soun agreed. "An' we can use my secret
stash a sake under the dojo -"</P>
<p align=left>"Baka!" Genma cried, swinging at Soun and missing (Soun fell
down anyway). "Nodoka's going to visit! She's prob'ly
alreddy dere!"</P>
<p align=left>"So?"</P>
<p align=left>"An' I let Ranma run off! She'll get pissed, an' I'll be
commitin' sehp- shehp- seppep- gettin' disemboweled!" Genma
shuddered. "Or my head cut off! Or both!"</P>
<p align=left>"Not good," Soun said sympathetically, staring up at the
stars (Actually, the city haze covered up the stars, but
Soun still saw them). "But wha' do we do now?"</P>
<p align=left>Genma thought for a minute, then snapped his fingers. "Ah, I
know!"</P>
<p align=left>A minute later, a panda was dancing in front of the bar,
with Soun playing a flute. A passerby tossed Soun a coin and
kept walking.</P>
<p align=left>Unbeknownst to all, a small figure slipped from the alleyway
and silently ran down the streets of Nerima in the newborn
night. He carried information that his master would find
useful.</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke entered the Kuno mansion, making a direct line toward
his master's room. He knocked softly.</P>
<p align=left>"Enter," Tatewaki Kuno intoned.</P>
<p align=left>The ninja pushed the door open, seeing his beloved master
still recovering from his disgraced fight against the
minions of Saotome.</P>
<p align=left>"Ah, good Sasuke! Have you news of the whereabouts of the
fair Akane Tendo or my ... ah, Pig-Tailed Goddess?" He had
reluctantly surrendered the concept of twin redheads,
thinking it merely an illusion cast by the vile Saotome's
sorcerous arts to distract the Mighty Blue Thunder.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, Master Tatewaki, Tendo-san is still missing as well as
Ranma Saotome."</P>
<p align=left>Kuno nodded sadly, holding his sword delicately as he
reclined back on his bed.</P>
<p align=left>"What other news?"</P>
<p align=left>"I have wrestled the news from two drunks in an alley that
Tendo-san has actually *married* Ranma Saotome! I confirmed
this news from both their honorable fathers." (Not exactly,
but I'm getting to old to run around in the middle of the
night. Now maybe I can sleep in.)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno remained silent, brooding. (The beautiful Akane Tendo
had been forced to marry that wicked sorcerer. She is beyond
help now. Even I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, cannot
break a marriage pact.)</P>
<p align=left>"What of my Pig-Tailed Goddess? Tell me, is she still under
the influence of that foul sorcerer?"</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke smiled, glad to find a bit of good news for his
master. "She no longer wears a pigtail! She is seen at the
school with Nabiki Tendo often and ... "</P>
<p align=left>"And what, good Sasuke?"</P>
<p align=left>"She wears really tight clothes!"</P>
<p align=left>(BING!)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno brought his knees up, thankful for the blanket over
him.</P>
<p align=left>"So, she no longer wears a pigtail. That must mean Saotome
has no control over her anymore! MY REDHEADED GODDESS IS
FREE AT LAST!!!" He paused, contemplating. "Hmm ... I shall
claim her for my own, then! Akane Tendo is lost to me
forever, but the fair Redheaded Goddess shall be mine.
Sasuke! Lay out my clothes for tomorrow; I shall duel the
Redheaded Goddess in the morning."</P>
<p align=left>"Very well, Master," Sasuke bowed low.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"More tea, Ichiro-san?" Kasumi asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Please," Ichiro Hibiki replied.</P>
<p align=left>"And you, Auntie Nodoka?"</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato, Kasumi-chan," Nodoka Saotome replied.</P>
<p align=left>After Kasumi had served them and herself, she sat down at
the table with them. "What brings you by this evening?" she
asked her guests.</P>
<p align=left>"We came to see Ranko-chan," Nodoka said calmly. "Ichiro-san
wished to ask her a few questions, and I wished to talk to
her of a ... personal matter."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Ranko-chan is at her new job - working for Tofu-
sensei - she should be back soon."</P>
<p align=left>"Tendo-chan," Ichiro asked, "I would also ask a few
questions of you, concerning - my son. I'd understand if you
were reluctant to answer -"</P>
<p align=left>"No, not at all, Hibiki-san," Kasumi responded with a warm
smile.</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato. I was wondering what Ryoga had done to cause his
disfavor in this house."</P>
<p align=left>"Your son was touched by magic - the curse of Jusenkyo,
which transformed him into a small piglet. Under the guise
of a dumb animal, he allowed my sister Akane to adopt him as
a pet. As her pet, he would sleep in her bed, watch her
disrobe, and deliberately provoke violence between Akane and
her fiancé Ranma."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro shook his head sadly. "Jusenkyo again."</P>
<p align=left>"Beg pardon?" Kasumi asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Nothing. Ryoga, was he ... violent?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi nodded. "He frequently attacked Ranma in both forms.
He almost killed Akane at least once, and is responsible for
considerable property damage." She looked embarrassed. "I'm
sorry if this troubles you."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro let out a ragged breath. "I feared this," he said in
a low voice. "He never takes his medication -"</P>
<p align=left>"Medication, Ichiro-san?" Kasumi asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga suffers from an - imbalance. Without his medication,
he's prone to bouts of aggression, depressions, erratic
behavior ..." He choked back a sob. "I make no excuses for
him - if anyone's at fault, it's me, for not being home
enough."</P>
<p align=left>"Ichiro, stop it!" Nodoka said sharply. "You aren't to blame
for your son's problems! You had to make a living for your
family!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, dear," Kasumi remarked. "This imbalance - is it
hereditary?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes - on my wife's side of the family," Ichiro answered.
"Your sister's iinazuke will be unaffected." He looked
ashamed. "Ranma - Nodoka's son - I understand he knows?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi shook her head. "No, he doesn't. He believes Genma is
his father."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka looked puzzled. "But Nabiki said -"</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki said nothing, and did so in such a way as to make
you tell her what she wanted to know. It's her special
gift."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro looked confused, which highlighted his resemblance to
both Ranma and Ryoga (who both often looked confused). "So
<p align=left>... Ranma doesn't know."</P>
<p align=left>
"Relieved?" a voice said.</P>
<p align=left>"Why, hello, Nabiki," Kasumi said cheerily.</P>
<p align=left>"Not relieved, exactly," Ichiro answered. "It's rather
confusing."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, if it becomes public knowledge, then the agreement to
marry Ranma and Akane becomes void, and they *want* to get
married," Nabiki stated. "Besides, none of us want Ryoga as
family. So if you tell Ranma about you, I tell your wife
about Ranma."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro smiled sadly. "That isn't a threat. Ichiko is usually
... understanding about these matters."</P>
<p align=left>"'Usually'?" Kasumi and Nabiki both commented.</P>
<p align=left>"Our marriage was not exactly a love-match," Ichiro
explained. "In fact, it was arranged by our families. Ryoga
was conceived because it was necessary to end a feud that
had come between our two clans for six generations. We both
understand this, and merely try to be discreet."</P>
<p align=left>"Sounds like a lousy way to ruin your life," Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>"Perhaps," Ichiro said with a trace of sadness. "When I
married my first wife, it was for love. If not for our
disagreement, we'd still be married. And I miss the
affection, the closeness."</P>
<p align=left>"'First wife'?" Nodoka asked, sounding slightly surprised.</P>
<p align=left>"Naughty Auntie," Nabiki chided. "A married woman, getting
jealous. Green isn't your color, anyway."</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki!" Kasumi exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, I was married before," Ichiro explained. "She was a
Chinese girl whose name translated as 'Peach Blossom'. We
married when I was just twenty, she was pregnant, and we
were happy.</P>
<p align=left>"Our child was born while I was away. When I returned, I
found out that Peach Blossom had followed her village's
custom, allowing the midwife to name the child. In this
case, the midwife was a wandering martial artist who named
him ... never mind that."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my God," Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi shook her head. "That would be an outlandish
coincidence, Imouto-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Around here?? That makes it a dead certainty."</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon me, but what are you talking about?" Nodoka asked
primly.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked at Ichiro. "Hibiki-san, you sounded like you
recognized Jusenkyo ... was your first son a victim, too?
Just as he was born?"</P>
<p align=left>"How did you know that?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, God," Nabiki exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Four</P>
<p align=left>Ranko-kun peeled the butterfly net from his head before he
entered the Tendo home, steam rising from his form.</P>
<p align=left>The Wakko creature was healed up quite well by Doctor Tofu.
So well, in fact, that he ran out of the room and settled
on her lap, singing, "Hello, Nurse!" in broken Japanese while hugging her tightly and burying his face in her
cleavage. Tofu-sensei had to pry him off of her, and the
rest of the evening was spent in dodging the love-struck
creature. The belched serenade and the cruddy poetry was
lost on her, and she lost her patience for it early enough.</P>
<p align=left>He followed her home, offering to carry her, to ride
piggyback on her, and even offered to haul her home in a
wheelbarrow. She explained to him in perfect (if profane)
English why she was not interested in a patient of the
doctor's, until at last he slammed a net over her and
glomped her.</P>
<p align=left>Perhaps it was luck, but the Evil Washer Woman was dumping
her water out for the evening, and Wakko-baka discovered he
wasn't attached to an attractive red-headed girl, but a
seriously pissed off dark-haired boy in a dress.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko-kun was, perhaps, a little violent, but it never
matched the sheer horror Wakko had.</P>
<p align=left>He quietly entered the house and tip-toed upstairs to the
bath, where he stripped and went through the motions of the
cold water rinse and scrub, then slowly entered the warm
water of the furo. The odd relaxation of his body becoming
female took some of the tension away.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko lay back, closing her eyes.</P>
<p align=left>She had started her first workday in a bad mood, after her
encounter with Pantyhose. Besides the Wakko creature, she
had to deal with a vampire toad from Australia that had
never seen a redhead before, as well as one talking dog that
spoke Japanese with a German accent and made worse puns than
she could ever imagine. Then having that little weirdo try
to follow her home!</P>
<p align=left>In short, her nerves had dwindled down to one, and nobody
had better work it!</P>
<p align=left>A knock came from the bathing room door, and Nabiki poked
her head in. "Hey, Ko-Chan. Nodoka-obachan is here along
with Hibiki-otosan."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, so?" Ranko groaned, sliding down the furo wall.</P>
<p align=left>"They want to talk to you about your 'parentage'."</P>
<p align=left>The redhead fully submerged herself underwater and held her
breath for several minutes, hoping Nabiki would go away.</P>
<p align=left>Instead, the brunette pulled her up by the hair and said,
"Forget it, Ko-chan, you have to talk to them."</P>
<p align=left>"Biki, tell that thing that I'm her son's twin sister, but
she never noticed me because she was never a proper mother."</P>
<p align=left>"Stop being a bitch. Ichiro-san thinks you're *his* daughter
now."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko giggled hysterically.</P>
<p align=left>"Why not? It's sort of true. Hehehe. Okay, okay, I'll talk
to them."</P>
<p align=left>"Promise you won't hit Nodoka?"</P>
<p align=left>"I promised Niichan that I wouldn't strike her, but don't
expect me to be nice."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki sighed, dropping her back into the water. She slid
open the door to leave.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Biki-chan?" Ranko stood up, wrapping a towel around
herself.</P>
<p align=left>"Hm?"</P>
<p align=left>"Got any pics of Tofu-sensei?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki paused, studying Ranko's turned face, and the blush
it held. (Oh my, to quoth my sister.)</P>
<p align=left>"No, I sold all of them to Akane three years ago. She tossed
them in the trash about a year back. Why do you ask?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, nothing ... just curious ... "</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki left the room with a smirk. (Nothing, my eye. Looks
like it's time to get some more film.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga stopped and sat down. He wasn't sure where he was, but
the locale looked vaguely familiar. (Then, again, so did
most of Earth.)</P>
<p align=left>It was getting late, and he should make camp for the night.
He was exhausted, anyway. What with that loon (no, duck)
Mousse trying to kill him for romancing Shampoo (which he
didn't), Shampoo calling him 'Airen' for some reason and
glomping him, and his quest to find Akane and explain
everything to her, he'd had a busy day.</P>
<p align=left>He'd just made camp when he heard the voices.</P>
<p align=left>" - shecret stash right here."</P>
<p align=left>"Growf."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, yer right. Whatta ya doin' here, Hibiki?"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga turned and looked into the face of a very drunk Soun
Tendo, who was holding a sake bottle in his hand. Next to
him was a wobbly panda, who held up a sign that was so
shakily written as to be illegible.</P>
<p align=left>"Ya wash'nt sapposed ta come here, boy. Gotta teash you
leshon."</P>
<p align=left>"Growf."</P>
<p align=left>"Look, it's late, I'm tired, you're pasted, why don't I come
back later and -"</P>
<p align=left>Soun took a swing at Ryoga, who didn't even bother to duck.
The blow hardly fazed him. If Soun hadn't been holding the
sake bottle in that hand, Ryoga wouldn't have noticed it.</P>
<p align=left>But Soun *was* holding the sake bottle in that hand. Which
shattered on impact.</P>
<p align=left>The sake-soaked piglet looked up at the two drunks.</P>
<p align=left>"My sake!" Soun bellowed. The panda made a deep, threatening
growl.</P>
<p align=left>As the two martial artists prepared to inflict damage on the
Hibiki piglet, Ryoga-buta sank into a deep abyss of despair.</P>
<p align=left>"BUH-BWE-BWEEEEE!!!" (Translation: "Shishi Hokodan!")</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko had turned to the door of the bathroom, and so hadn't
noticed the flare of green light out the window. She shut
the door behind her, and so didn't see the two figures get
blasted through the bathroom wall.</P>
<p align=left>As she trotted down the stairs after she dressed, she
couldn't help but dwell on Ranma's (and her) memories of
Nodoka - of her rage and Ranma's sorrow over her
abandonment; of Ranma's fear and guilt upon learning of the
seppuku pledge; hearing Nodoka talk in her sleep, enacting
the rites in her dreams.</P>
<p align=left>When she stepped into the dining room, she was all pissed
off again.</P>
<p align=left>"Good evening, Kasumi - Nabiki," she said politely.</P>
<p align=left>"Konban wa, Hibiki-san," she said a bit too formally.</P>
<p align=left>As she sat down at the table, Nodoka cleared her throat
daintily. "Hello, Ranko-chan," she said calmly.</P>
<p align=left>"If you must address me, please address me as 'Saotome-
san'," Ranko said testily. "The 'chan' honorific implies a
degree of familiarity that, quite frankly, nauseates me."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned to Ichiro Hibiki. "I understand you have a
question for me, Hibiki-san?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko's incredible rudeness toward Nodoka stunned Ichiro for
a moment, but he recovered quickly. "Um, yes. I understand
that you are the sister of Ranma Saotome?"</P>
<p align=left>"Who is your biological son. That's correct," Ranko
confirmed. "You understand that it is not deemed necessary
by the families to inform Ranma of this fact due to the
marriage agreement between the Saotome and Tendo families
and the current situation with your son."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course," Ichiro nodded. "I understand completely. But I
was curious - "</P>
<p align=left>"You're wondering if I'm your daughter, and which one of
your dalliances resulted in me?" Ranko asked clinically.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro chuckled. "Rather less delicate than I would have
phrased it, but accurate."</P>
<p align=left>"Please understand, Hibiki-san, when I say that my
connection to Ranma-oniisan is beyond question. I ask that
you respect my privacy, and ask no more."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro nodded. "I will respect your privacy, Ranko-san. But,
if I may be so bold, it would honor me to have a daughter as
strong and beautiful as yourself."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko momentarily forgot she was annoyed, and smiled,
blushing. "Arigato, Ichiro-san."</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko ... san," Nodoka said softly. "I feel that we may
have gotten off on the wrong foot. I'd like to start fresh,
to forget any misunderstandings, and to perhaps be your
friend."</P>
<p align=left>"Trying to salve your conscience?" Ranko said coldly,
turning to Ranma's mother. "This surprises me. I wasn't
aware you had such a thing." Ranko finished her tea and got
up. "Now that Ichiro-san's questions have been answered,
I've had a busy day, and I wish to rest before I retire."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka got up and put her hand on Ranko's shoulder. "Ranko,
can't -"</P>
<p align=left>"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME, BITCH!!" Ranko screamed,
twisting Nodoka's wrist in a grip of steel.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko!" exclaimed Kasumi, her hands raised to help.</P>
<p align=left>"Nodoka-chan!" exclaimed Ichiro, leaping to her defense.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko released Nodoka before either of the others could get
to her. Nodoka collapsed to the floor, sobbing and
horrified.</P>
<p align=left>"You want answers? Fine. Yes, you *are* my mother - and the
thought fills me with disgust! You aren't a *real* mother,
not even a proper woman! You're a misbegotten *thing* that
throws babies into the street to suffer and die! If I
hadn't been around, Niichan would have already killed
himself because of you and Genma! Ranma deserves better
than to have you as a mother! And I'll suffer all the Rings
of Hell before I *ever* call you 'mother'!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned away, hiding the tears the emotion had brought
to her eyes. "Now if you excuse me, I have to take another
bath. Your touch makes me feel dirty."</P>
<p align=left>As Ranko stomped off, Nabiki took a sip of tea. "That went
well," she quipped.</P>
<p align=left>"My daughter," Nodoka sobbed. "I thought she was dead. They
said she was dead ..."</P>
<p align=left>"Huh??" several people exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko didn't even bother to take off her dress as she
twisted the hot water on full blast and collapsed in the
shower stall. She rolled herself up into a ball against the
cool tile, letting the hot water trickle over her body as
she sobbed hysterically with hiccups and wails.</P>
<p align=left>She felt so sick, so sick, deep inside her soul. Her heart
was completely broken; feeling it break inside her chest was
shattering to everything she had ever been. She knew
everything Ranma remembered about Nodoka, and it was all
fear, anger, and abandonment.</P>
<p align=left>While Nodoka couldn't be the mother Ranma deserved, Ranko
had tried all she could to be something of a mother for him.
*She* was the one who heard him scream in his sleep. *She*
was the one who held him in dreamscape when his fears
overwhelmed him. *She* was the only one besides Akane who
*ever* loved him.</P>
<p align=left>What right did Nodoka have to be his mother?! To hell with
duty and honor, when a child cries, you pick him up and
comfort him and never leave him alone with a monster to be
abused.</P>
<p align=left>The water became hotter, beginning to scald. (Fitting. Honor
would require me to commit suicide after dishonoring my
'mother' like I did. I'll just burn my skin off, that'll
make the bitch happy with her damned honor.)</P>
Hands reached in and pulled her out of the shower. She
didn't fight them, being too exhausted to fight anymore.v
<p align=left>Kasumi rolled her over and pulled her close as the young
girl continued sobbing, rocking her gently and stroking her
hair.</P>
<p align=left>"Shh, Ko-chan, shh."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, God, Kasumi, why did you take me out?! Why the hells
was I born at all?! Ranma doesn't need me anymore and I
insulted his mother and my soul hurts - "</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, dear. Please don't ever doubt why you were born, it's
like asking why does the Earth face the sun at all? You do
have a right to be angry with her, but never to hurt her as
you did."</P>
<p align=left>A fresh flood of tears sheeted down her cheeks. "I'm so
sorry, Kasumi ... I'm so sorry ... This anger scares me ..."</P>
<p align=left>"Did Ranma feel this anger toward Nodoka?"</P>
"Some. He was mostly afraid and abandoned ... and that only
upset me more ... "</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi held her tighter, wanting to squeeze the pain out of
her. She should have known Ko-chan despised Nodoka as much
as this. Any woman that would allow her child to suffer like
that, then threatening his life out of duty ... any woman
with true maternal love could not let that happen.</P>
<p align=left>But as a Japanese lady, Kasumi knew that duty and honor
Demand sacrifice, despite what the wife and mother feels.
She learned that when she became mistress of the house after
her mother had died. Her childhood was her sacrifice.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan, you cannot hate her for upholding honor. If
anything, it's Genma's fault for thinking up that stupid
seppuku pledge in the first place."</P>
<p align=left>"She doesn't have to rub it in," Ranko sobbed. "She could
have just refused to let him go."</P>
<p align=left>The eldest Tendo daughter sighed. "You have your view of
what's right, and so does she. And you both stick to that
despite all the pain it causes you. Perhaps you really are
her daughter."</P>
<p align=left>"Don't ever say that! She isn't my mother! I have no
mother!"</P>
<p align=left>"But, Ko-chan ... Ranma *did* have a twin sister. She was
stillborn. Nodoka spoke of it after you left."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko was silent, uncertain how to respond.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi continued: "It's said that the souls of children who
die unborn wander the world, alone and forlorn. It's not
unlikely that one would wander near Jusenkyo while Ranma was
there, perhaps even watching over him ... as you've always
done since you were 'born'."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked
up at Kasumi's sad face. She blinked for several moments,
letting it sink in. Then she lay her head on her friend's
shoulder and sang in a cracked voice, "'Tell me is it just a
dream ... or is it really real?'"</P>
<p align=left>"You should go to bed and get some rest, Ko-chan. What shall
I tell them?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko sniffed, rubbing her eyes. "I have to think about
everything. I do apologize for hurting her hand."</P>
<p align=left>"But what about being Nodoka's daughter?"</P>
<p align=left>"Kasumi, I don't know!" her breathing became ragged, overrun
with emotion. "She doesn't listen and she's made no apology
to Ranma for what she's done</P>
<p align=left>"Genma, I can understand *him* being a creep because he is,
I've known him too long to expect anything else. But when
Ranma and I first met Nodoka ... I thought she would finally
take Niichan away from Genma and end this stupid existence
he put on us. I thought she would be kinder ... and I find
her trying to *kill* my Niichan due to some twisted view of
manhood! How can she stand it?! How can she live with
herself?!"</P>
<p align=left>"Perhaps she has a different viewpoint?" Kasumi offered.</P>
<p align=left>"Have you seen her go through the motions of seppuku *in her
sleep*?! Do you have any idea how horrifying that is?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi hugged her tightly, stroking her wet bangs back.
"Little Ko-chan, just give her a chance to explain her point
of view. I'm sure you'll understand her better once you do.
I don't like what she's done, but I'm sure she isn't the
monster you believe her to be."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko took a deep breath. "Please let me think about it."</P>
<p align=left>"All the time you need," Kasumi replied softly.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta ran around the yard, trying to find the spot
where he'd pitched his tent just a few minutes ago. He
figured he must be in Nerima (since he ran into Soun and
Genma), but that didn't help him. He wandered near a porch,
hoping to find something familiar.</P>
<p align=left>He didn't see the hands that picked him up.</P>
<p align=left>He twisted around to see who had him ...</P>
<p align=left>"BWEEE!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta squealed and twisted, trying to get out of
Nabiki's grasp. He had no idea what awaited him - beating,
neutering, being sold to a pet shop - or a butcher shop ...
with Nabiki, one never knew what her cold whims would
dictate ...</P>
<p align=left>She carried him into the house. There, around the table, was
a woman Ryoga thought was familiar but couldn't place ...
and his *FATHER*!!</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga stopped struggling, awaiting his fate.</P>
<p align=left>"Looky what I found!" Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka and Ichiro watched as Nabiki held the piglet at arm's
length, pulled out a kettle of water (always handy to have
in Nerima), and poured the hot water on the piglet.</P>
<p align=left>The naked, damp young man looked up guiltily at his father.
"Hi, dad," he said meekly.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The doctor did the last katas before he retired for the
evening, letting the Tai Chi motions relax and balance him.
Then he set the spiritual wards around his bedroom to
prevent unwanted sleep time visitors.</P>
<p align=left>A knock sounded on the clinic door. Few people would knock
on the clinic door at night unless it was an emergency; he
dashed downstairs, grabbing his bag as he went.</P>
<p align=left>He opened the door and found Ranko Saotome there, a
trenchcoat pulled close to her body. "Ranko-chan!" he said
in surprise. "Konban wa. Is there something the matter?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes," she said. Without explanation, she stepped in and
closed the door. "You have to help me, Tofu-sensei."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu got worried; Ranko was being very emotional. "Of
course, dear. Anything I can do to help. Sit down, and
tell me what the problem is?"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu and Ranko sat down, but Ranko got up and began pacing
the room nervously. "Tofu-sensei ... am I a woman? A *real*
woman?"</P>
<p align=left>"Of course you are, Ranko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"No, I'm not," she protested. "Not really."</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, you are!" he insisted.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned to him and let her trenchcoat open and fall to
the floor, revealing her gloriously naked body. "Then prove
it."</P>
<p align=left>"Wha ..??" Tofu said wittingly.</P>
<p align=left>"Make me a woman, Ono-sama," Ranko said huskily, climbing
into his lap, straddling him. "Make me a real woman."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu was paralyzed as Ranko's arms wrapped around him, her
fragrant hair filling his vision, her full breasts pressing
against his chest, her powerful legs pinning his thighs. She
pulled him off the chair, toward the floor ...</P>
<p align=left>Tofu fell out of bed, hitting the floor with a yelp. It took
him a few seconds to shake the last traces of the dream from
his head.</P>
<p align=left>"Damned subconscious!" he mumbled. "Go a few months without
a date, and *this* happens!"</P>
<p align=left>Grumbling at his own weakness, he headed to the bath for a
cold shower.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Five</P>
<p align=left>"He's got to be around here!"</P>
<p align=left>"Bweee..."</P>
<p align=left>"I know, buta-chan, you're homesick. But as soon as we find
Ryoga-sama, we'll go home."</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee?"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not sure. We could try his house; he may have left a
message. If not, we can try the Tendo place."</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee."</P>
<p align=left>"I'm glad you approve. Onward, Katsunishiki!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose Taro finished his breakfast, thanked his
unconscious hosts, and departed, but not before telephoning
the police concerning a certain former drug parlor.</P>
<p align=left>He had no tolerance for junkies or the garbage that sold the
junk, but they always had plenty of money to donate (after a
bit of 'persuading'), lots of food for their munchie
attacks, and when they tell the police about the hideous
monster that wrecked the place, no one will believe them.
The thought of the pushers explaining to the cops what
happened always cheered him up.</P>
<p align=left>He had considered staking out the Tendo place until the Old
Freak showed up, but that was taking too long; the Bridle
had to be used with the next 13 days - the seventy-eighth
new moon of this cycle - or it would be useless for another
six years.</P>
<p align=left>So he was going to do something that revolted him, nauseated
him, and went against every instinct in him.</P>
<p align=left>He was going to ask for help.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko and Nabiki walked silently to school, both lost in
their own thoughts. Last night had been exhausting for both
as they dealt with odd family relations and reunions.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki rolled over her regret of not being able to fetch
her camera quick enough to get some nudies of Ryoga; Kasumi
had conveniently brought down a guest kimono for Ryoga. She
was sure that very odd pig-obsessed girl Akari would have
use for them, but she wasn't going to contemplate what
their use would be. (Oh, well, there's sure to be
opportunity enough later, since he's practically an in-law.
Ick.)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko's storm of emotion barely showed on the surface. A
fitful night of dreams revolving around Ranma disowning her
for attacking Nodoka and her own hands taking the woman's
katana to end her own short existence had plagued what
little sleep she had. (Is she the monster I know her to be?
Is this female creature truly my mother? Was I once born
from her womb in a former life that ended before it began?)</P>
<p align=left>She needed release, a chance to vent this frustration in her
thoughts.</P>
<p align=left>It came in the form of Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High.</P>
<p align=left>The upperclassman stood before the clock tower of the
school, watching the redheaded bombshell approach through
the gates. The Horde of Hentais he had spurned on to beat
Akane were now milling about and clearing a path for her.
She smiled a bitter smile at them.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno pulled a rose from the same place mallets and other
offensive weapons are kept and flicked his wrist to shoot it
toward her.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned her head and caught the flower between her
teeth as the petals stirred in the breeze.</P>
<p align=left>"'A thing of beauty is the rose
of which love eternal grows
But not as fair as the maiden
of whom my heart is laden.'"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki stuck her finger in her mouth, making retching
noises. "So full of crap his eyes are brown," she muttered,
walking off to take bets from the horde surrounding the two.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko slowly turned her head to face him, the rose still
clutched between her teeth. Kuno felt his Shorter Partner
stir around as he took in the sight of her wild, loose hair
and the too-tight uniform over her full curves.</P>
<p align=left>She pulled the rose from her mouth, a demonic smirk very
slowly spreading across her pretty lips.</P>
<p align=left>"Have you come to duel me, Tatewaki?" she asked.</P>
<p align=left>(Oh, Gods, how beautifully she says my name!)</P>
<p align=left>"Correct. I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, Tatewaki
Kuno, shall claim you, My Redheaded Goddess. But, first - "
he held up the bokken. " - you must defeat me in combat!"</P>
<p align=left>"Fine, Tatewaki," she replied, slipping the blossom behind
her ear and placing her books down on the ground. "Let's
dance."</P>
<p align=left>"Dance?" he puzzled over her use of the term, then
discovered her foot was plowed in his gut.</P>
<p align=left>"And if I win," she said, smiling. "I win the right to not
date you, since you aren't man enough for me."</P>
<p align=left>"What?" he cried in shock. Then he cried out "ugh!" as
Ranko's dainty foot slammed into his cheek in a roundhouse
kick.</P>
<p align=left>"And if you win," she continued. "You have to admit you're
not a man, since a real man doesn't *need* to beat up a girl
in order to date her!"</P>
<p align=left>"No!" he welled, slashing at her head. Ranko ducked the
blow, then back flipped, kicking off Kuno and shoving the two
of them apart.</P>
<p align=left>"By the way, Tatewaki," she commented casually. "What's my
name?"</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" He asked intelligently (possibly the most intelligent
thing he'd said in his life).</P>
<p align=left>"How many times must I tell you, you moron?" She twisted,
sending her foot across his face again. "My name is Ranko
Saotome! That would make me Ranma Saotome's sister!"</P>
<p align=left>She dropped, letting Kuno regain his bearings. His bokken
came swinging down at her; she leapt up and landed
delicately on the blade, balancing as she performed a
pirouette on it.</P>
<p align=left>"Since Ranma Saotome is my *brother* - " her voice became
louder, catching everyone's attention. " - there are laws
regarding the intimacies of siblings."</P>
<p align=left>Kuno stared up at her, grinding his teeth. He made a grab
for her skirt, but not before she back flipped, kicking his
face in the process.</P>
<p align=left>"And you have publicly accused my *own brother* of having
sexual relations with me! On numerous occasions!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki noted the rise of anger in her future sister-in-law's
voice. (Oh, hells, time to hide! Don't want to get innards
all over my jumper!)</P>
<p align=left>The sound of rooba-rooba from the crowd realizing that Ranko
and Ranma were, in the most simplistic terms possible,
brother and sister hit them.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno got up, making a grab for her jumper front but grabbed
a breast instead. She stood there, wide-eyed in surprised,
watching the faintest trickle of a nosebleed.</P>
<p align=left>"WHEN *YOU* ARE THE BASTARD THAT MOLESTS ME!!!" she shrieked,
kneeing him in the groin.</P>
<p align=left>He released her to grab hold of himself as he doubled over
in pain.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko spun around in a complete circle, battle aura lit, and
cupped her hands in front of her.</P>
<p align=left>"Kuso!" Nabiki screamed, scampering over a wall for
protection.</P>
<p align=left>"DOKO RAKURAI!!!"</P>
<p align=left>The brilliant yellow-white ki-blast tore the cement up as it
raced to Kuno, sending him into orbit with singed hair and
shredded clothes. He became a dot in the sky.</P>
<p align=left>The students stood around Ranko, speechless and petrified
with fear.</P>
<p align=left>The redhead's battle aura cooled down, and a smile of relief
fell over her face. "Gods, I needed that. Come on, Biki,
we'll be late for class."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki poked her head from around the wall, checking the all
clear.</P>
<p align=left>"You know, Ko-Chan, I think you might have a bit of a temper."</P>
<p align=left>"Don't be silly."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga awoke in his room the next morning. He stared at the
ceiling for a long time, recalling the 'discussion' he and
his father had on the way home from the Tendo Dojo and over
a late supper then far into the wee hours of the morning.</P>
<p align=left>How *dare* he take advantage of a young girl's innocence by
posing as a pet. How *dare* he try to kill the girl's
fiancé. How *dare* he intentionally avoid taking his
medication. His father made it sound like it was all Ryoga's
fault!</P>
<p align=left>He couldn't understand why his father was so adamant about
him fighting with Ranma Saotome. Ranma was an evil bastard,
he told his father. Ichiro would hear none of it, demanding
to know what his son had been doing by not taking his meds.
Ryoga tried to explain his ki-blasts ... and they both got
into an argument about the proper use of martial arts.</P>
<p align=left>He sighed, then moaned, remembering that in his fear of
seeing his father, he forgot he was nude in front of two
women - one of them Nabiki, no less! He prayed she didn't
have her camera around to sell any pictures to Akari. He
didn't need her to bug him right now.</P>
<p align=left>Was it true, though? *Had* Ranma and Akane run off together?
Consenting, no less? No, Ranma had to have kidnapped her,
that was the only explanation (that he could grasp).</P>
<p align=left>He got up and wandered around his room, trying to locate the
closet for a fresh tunic and pair of trousers. At last, he
dressed and left his room, locating the kitchen where his
father was making breakfast. A bottle of medication was
setting alone on the counter.</P>
<p align=left>"Take your pills."</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, sir."</P>
<p align=left>He gazed at his father, noticing the lines around his mouth
and eyes. His weather-beaten skin and tired face. Ryoga's
face, in another twenty years or so. He was surprised he
recognized his father, being he was always gone on business.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga, I do want you to understand that I don't hate you."</P>
<p align=left>The Lost Boy nodded, opening the refrigerator to find a
carton of milk. "Sure, Dad, you just don't like me. I'm a
big-ass disappointment to you, and you can't stand it."</P>
<p align=left>"Where'd you get that idea?"</P>
<p align=left>"You. I'm a complete mess, in your opinion. You say I stalk,
try to murder, am a hentai, and too violent." He slammed the
carton of milk on the ccounter. "DAMNIT, DAD, I'M NOT
PERFECT!"</P>
<p align=left>"I never expected you to be," Hibiki remained calm. "But if
you're able to get yourself into trouble, you're old enough
to get yourself out. You're seventeen years old, Ryoga, I
expected better from you by now. You still act like you're
ten."</P>
<p align=left>"You think this is easy, dad?" he asked. "You think having
this stupid 'lost' gene is any better? I can't stand it! I
can't, I can't, I can't!"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga bared his fangs in a full fit. Ichiro casually stuffed
a rice ball in his son's mouth, who chewed and swallowed it.</P>
<p align=left>"My son, we must come to an understanding. I do not hate or
dislike you. The things you have done must be repented and
fixed, and you must do that on your own. You can start by
taking your medication regularly."</P>
<p align=left>"I don't want to. The stuff gives me heartburn."</P>
<p align=left>"It's a gel caplet, you take water in your mouth first and
then drop them in. Your saliva makes it sticky and it sticks
in your esophagus until it dissolves, that's why it feels
like heartburn."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh ... " Ryoga mumbled, inhaling a mouthful of milk and
tilting his head back. He dropped the caplets in his mouth
and swallowed the mix down.</P>
<p align=left>"It'll take a few days for it to start taking effect. I want
you to promise me you'll take them every day at the same
time."</P>
<p align=left>"Sure, Dad ... But why do I have to? I was doing fine
without them."</P>
<p align=left>"You were destroying property and threatening to kill
people. That's not normal behavior, son."</P>
<p align=left>"So, what *is* normal?"</P>
<p align=left>The door chime interrupted. Ryoga stole another rice ball
And stuffed it in his face as his father went to answer the
door.</P>
<p align=left>On the other side, Ichiro found an attractive young lady
with long purple hair and wearing a nice Chinese dress in
magenta. She smiled daintily up at him.</P>
<p align=left>"Ohayo," she said in a lilting voice.</P>
<p align=left>He bowed deeply to her, then greeted her in Canton Chinese.</P>
<p align=left>Her face split open in a sunny smile, and she replied in the
same dialect.</P>
<p align=left>He paused, realizing from her accent that she was a Chinese
Amazon. He racked his brains to remember the dialect used
around Jusenkyo.</P>
<p align=left>"{What may I do for you, young lady?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I am looking for Ryoga Hibiki. I understand that he lives
at this address.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{What business have you with my son?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Are you his father? An honor to meet you at last. I am
Xian Pu, and have come to speak with Ryoga of marriage.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro proceeded to facefault in the doorway.</P>
<p align=left>"{Mr. Hibiki?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo shook her head. Men were weird the world over;
aggressive and violent, but not strong enough to handle such
basic things as love, childbirth, and raising children. She
picked her future father-in-law up and stared him eye to eye.</P>
<p align=left>"{I know Ryoga has not mentioned me to you, but according to
the Goddess, Ryoga is my True Love. I must take him as my
husband and have many children to make the Amazon tribe
strong. I do admire him despite his shortcomings, and I will
do all I can to make him happy.}" (Work that magic, girl.
You got to get on your future in-law's good side to get the
man.)</P>
<p align=left>The senior Hibiki nodded, dazed by this development. "{You
have to understand, my son is ... not healthy.}"</P>
<p align=left>(He's as nutty as a fruitcake, old man, but he's got a cute
butt.) "{I understand completely. I want to help him. He has
qualities that I admire, nonetheless. Is he here?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{In the kitchen.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Thank you.}"</P>
<p align=left>He allowed Shampoo to enter, catching the scent of cherry
blossoms as she passed him. The thought that an Amazon
desired his son as a husband floored him. Yet, he smiled.
Perhaps a tough Amazon was all Ryoga needed. He ran across
them only a few times, not long enough to know a girl and
have fun with her, but long enough to develop a mutual
respect.</P>
<p align=left>(I'm getting too old for this.)</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga looked up to see the purple-haired bombshell enter his
kitchen. Involuntarily, his eyes swept over her figure in
the tight dress, lingering over her breasts and the
wonderful curve of her hips.</P>
<p align=left>He covered his face with a napkin to hide his nosebleed.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo chuckled to herself, proud to cause his reaction.
She so delighted in her power to cause men to go nuts.</P>
<p align=left>Finally, his gaze got all the way to her face.</P>
<p align=left>"ARGH!!! THE GLOMPER!!! KEEP AWAY, YOU CRAZY CAT!!!"</P>
<p align=left>His father blinked. "Cat?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"She has a Curse, too," Ryoga explained, climbing up on the
counter. "She turns into a cat when splashed with water!"</P>
<p align=left>"And Airen turn to piggy!" she replied. Then calmed herself
and switched to Cantonese. "{Ryoga-kun, I have come to
formally ask you to be my husband.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga wasn't fluent in Cantonese, but could follow it. He
paused, a little surprised at the seemingly increased
intelligence when she spoke in another tongue. Still ...</P>
<p align=left>"Why do you want me as your husband? You love that idiot
Ranma!"</P>
<p align=left>She blushed, and answered, "{That was not of my doing. My
grandmother insisted I pursue him because of the law in
which we were to wed because he bested me in combat. I am
now free of that bond since Akane Tendo has defeated me for
his hand. I have chosen you as my fiancé because you are
strong and respectful, and I have always admired you
whenever we fight together.}" (Is that a reasonable enough
bait, honeybun?)</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga was now perched on the top cabinets, looking down
fearfully at her. In truth, he was scared of her. Strong
women always made him shy, and the fact she was gorgeous to
boot and made little stirrings inside him was beside the
point. He didn't believe for an instant that Shampoo was
going to let him gently love her either.</P>
<p align=left>(NANI?! What the hell am I thinking?! I don't want Shampoo!)</P>
<p align=left>"Um, Shampoo? I don't - I mean - I - I can't have a
relationship with you!"</P>
<p align=left>"{Why not?}"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm - uh - gay!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo shook her head. "{I saw how you were staring at my
breasts. Try again.}"</P>
<p align=left>"I've - got a girlfriend!"</P>
<p align=left>She shook her head, accompanied by the tinkle of her bell-
barrettes. "{That doesn't wash, either. Akane wants you as
the centerpiece of a luau.}"</P>
<p align=left>"I meant Akari! Akari Unryuu!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo digested this. "{Then how come I've never heard of
her before?}"</P>
<p align=left>"She doesn't live around here."</P>
<p align=left>As Ryoga continued weaseling, the door chimed again. Ichiro
left his son and (he was certain) his future daughter-in-law
to their little talk in private.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose hated doing this.</P>
<p align=left>He had spent his entire life being independent. He didn't
ask for help from anyone. He was strong and didn't need
anyone.</P>
<p align=left>But if he was going to get any straight information about
the Old Freak from the Tendos and Fem-Boy, he needed someone
that they wouldn't suspect to talk to them.</P>
<p align=left>And aside from the Amazons and the Tendo Dojo crowd, the
only other person her knew in Tokyo was ...</P>
<p align=left>His father opened the door.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro's face broke into a smile. "Son! It's good to see
you!" He reached forward to embrace him.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose sidestepped his father's attempt at affection.
"Hi, Ichiro. How's tricks?"</P>
<p align=left>"Can't you call me 'Dad', just once?"</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"No. Nice place."</P>
<p align=left>"How did you know where to find me?"</P>
<p align=left>"You left one of your business cards with Mom, remember? It
had your address."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro smiled. His oldest son had an amazing memory, and
sharp wits. Even with a spotty education, he had a first-
class mind. If only he didn't have the Hibiki temper, or the
Hibiki stubbornness.</P>
<p align=left>"How is your mother these days?"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose's attitude became cold. "I wouldn't know. We
haven't talked a lot recently."</P>
<p align=left><p align=left>Ichiro looked sad. "I'm sorry."</P>
<p align=left>"Give it a rest," Pantyhose said scornfully. "This should
cheer you up - I need your help."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro looked stung. "I don't feel glad that you need help,
but it does my heart good that you'd come to me."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, yeah," he said absently. "Look, Ichiro, -"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro took Pantyhose's hand. "Come along. This is the
perfect time to meet your brother and his fiancée!"</P>
<p align=left>"BROTHER?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes. This is my wife's house."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose was stunned. He had a brother?? And a stepmother,
too, apparently.</P>
<p align=left>Curious, he allowed his father to lead him to the kitchen.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Because - she's got to take care of her grandfather! Now
quit bugging me!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro came back into the room. "Son! This is a joyous day!
Your older brother has arrived!"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga looked shocked. "I have a brother??"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked surprised. "Airen not know Airen have
brother?" (He's denser than I thought.)</P>
<p align=left>"He is my son from my first marriage - I was married and
divorced before I met your mother. Now he's here, and my
sons can at last meet! Son, come in." Ryoga and Shampoo's
eyes widened as the familiar figure entered the room.</P>
<p align=left>"PANTYHOSE?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" he snapped. "What are you doing here,
Pig-Boy?"</P>
<p align=left>"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" Ryoga snapped. "And I live here!"</P>
<p align=left>"Boys! Please!" Ichiro shouted. "Calm down! I won't have my
sons squabbling!"</P>
<p align=left>The two boys looked at each other, then at Ichiro. "*HE'S*
my *BROTHER*?!?" they both exclaimed incredulously.</P>
<p align=left>"Monster Boy is Airen's brother??" Shampoo asked. (I don't
want to be related to him! It'd be ... embarrassing!)</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose looked at Shampoo, then at Ryoga. "You're marrying
*her*?!?" he laughed.</P>
<p align=left>"No!" Ryoga protested.</P>
<p align=left>"Just love 'em and leave 'em, huh?" Pantyhose teased. "You
picked the right one, then." He turned to Shampoo. "Hiya,
Cat-Girl. You tell him about that weekend we had?"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo blushed. "Who care about past?"</P>
<p align=left>"Huh??" Ryoga boggled.</P>
<p align=left>(Oh dear,) Ichiro thought. (This is not going well.)</P>
<p align=left>Outside, listening at the window, lurked another person of
Shampoo's past, who had remained in her life, despite all
odds.</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo is *mine*, you one-night stands!" he spat hatefully
toward the voices.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse remembered back when he and Shampoo were ten, when
she first kissed him. He knew, from that day forward, that
she was his. A short time later, they both explored the
Mysteries of the Flesh for the First Time together.</P>
<p align=left>He was certain that he would marry her and keep her forever.
She was his First. He was her First (he thought). There was
no other way about it.</P>
<p align=left>All those other young stallions that have tasted of his
Shampoo have known his wrath. Both her Airens have known how
possessive he was of her, how he was willing to kill ...</P>
<p align=left>He checked his sword; Jealous Lover ki-energy poured through
his veins, feeding his strength and skill. Two brothers
waited to be annihilated by his hands.</P>
<p align=left>(MOUSSE stands triumphantly over the mangled bodies of
SHAMPOO'S former lovers. Nearby, SHAMPOO gazes at him in
rapt adoration.)</P>
<p align=left>(SHAMPOO: Oh, Mousse, how could I have ignored you?)</P>
<p align=left>(MOUSSE: Just be mine forever, my Shampoo.)</P>
<p align=left>(SHAMPOO: Of course I will! I love you, my Airen!)</P>
<p align=left>Once he defeated the asses inside first, though.</P>
<p align=left>He took a deep breath, then crashed through the wall.</P>
<p align=left>"PREPARE TO DIE, HIBIKIS!!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Who's that?" Ichiro asked, watching the bespectacled young
man wave a pair of B.A.S. (Big-Ass Swords) around.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo slammed her hand over her face and moaned. "Mousse
from Amazon village. He big pain in ass. He try kill Airen."</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga, he's been trying to kill you? Why?"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose only laughed harder. "Because he's a jealous
little mother-ducker." He chortled at his own word-play and
Ryoga groaned.</P>
<p align=left>"My wall ... " the senior Hibiki sighed.</P>
<p align=left>"You both will die for taking advantage of my Shampoo!"
Mousse cried, starting to slash at Ryoga.</P>
<p align=left>"*Who* took advantage of *whom*?" Pantyhose chuckled.</P>
<p align=left>(WHANG!) "Not *your* Shampoo, Duck-Boy!"</P>
<p align=left>Mousse found a frying pan had slammed down on his head.
Shampoo lifted it up, grinning, "Shampoo enjoy that. Hiba-
chan good teacher."</P>
<p align=left>Taro guffawed hysterically, leaning in the doorway of the
kitchen. "Heh heh heh. Maybe this marriage will work out,
Pig-Boy. She'll [ahem] cat-whip you in an instant."</P>
<p align=left>"Will you *shut up*?!" Ryoga yelled, leaping over Mousse's
dazed body and slamming into his brother.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro grabbed his hair in his hands, horror crossing his
face. (This was not what I had in mind for their first
meeting!)</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sighed and patted her future father-in-law's arm.
"{Don't worry, Hibiki-otosan. I will get Airen out of this
fight. I promised you I'd look after him.}"</P>
<p align=left>She took a deep breath, and as Ryoga and Pantyhose bit and
snarled and kicked each other in a ball of fury around the
kitchen, pulled out her bonbori and slammed them both on top
of the head.</P>
<p align=left>"If stupid boys fight, at least fight proper! Not roll on
floor like little babies!"</P>
<p align=left>They pointed to each other and yelled "*HE* STARTED IT!!"
simultaneously.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse regained consciousness, and the first thing he saw
was Shampoo standing over his rivals. Immediately, his hands
sprung huge masses of blades. "I knew you'd fight for me, my
Shampoo!" he cried as he leapt to deliver the coup-de-grace.</P>
<p align=left>In mid-air, the feet of Shampoo, Ryoga, and Pantyhose hit
Mousse in the gut, slamming him backwards through the
kitchen wall - and the kitchen sink.</P>
<p align=left>Water sprayed through the room, drenching everyone.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro looked on as a pink-and-purple cat and a black
bandana-wearing piglet leapt outside onto a top-knotted
duck, as a gigantic winged minotaur-monster shrugged off the
remnants of the kitchen ceiling.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my God!" Ichiro exclaimed. "Oh, my God! Can't you
children stop this?! You're making a mess!" He held his head
in his hands. "Ichiko-chan's going to kill me!"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose-kaijuu roared, causing the small animals to look
behind themselves and get shocked. They knew he was big, but
their small perspectives, combined with proximity, made him
look like Gojira on steroids.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose-kaijuu's fist went to his father's head, but was
blocked with a casual wave of Ichiro's hand.</P>
<p align=left>"How could you, Son?" he asked. "Striking your own father?"</P>
<p align=left>"[DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!]" he bellowed in his monster-tongue.
"[YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!!! YOU ARE NO KIND OF FATHER!!!]"
Tentacles lashed out -</P>
<p align=left>- only to be immobilized in an unbreakable grip.</P>
<p align=left>"The tentacles are new, Son," Ichiro said calmly, one hand
holding the tentacles without apparent effort. "We'll have
to discuss that later. Now, you need to calm down."</P>
<p align=left>Casually, Ichiro heaved Pantyhose-kaijuu into the air with
one hand and slammed him into the ground.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta, Shampoo-neko, and Mousse-oshidori boggled.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro walked up to the assembled small creatures. He stared
at the glasses-wearing duck. "You've attacked my sons and
made a mess in my house. I'll have to ask you to leave."</P>
<p align=left>The rational part of Mousse-oshidori's brain told him that
this guy had just taken out Pantyhose Taro one-handed, and
to listen to him.</P>
<p align=left>But the much stronger part of his brain said, (He's trying
to keep me from my Shampoo!!)</P>
<p align=left>With a "Quack!" of bloodlust, Mousse-oshidori flapped into
the air and unleashed a torrent of blades at Ichiro Hibiki.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo-neko and Ryoga-buta gasped in horror, then in shock
as not a single projectile reached the salesman, all
casually deflected.</P>
<p align=left>(Amazon Hidden Weapons, eh?) Ichiro thought. (Easy enough.)</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro walked through the cascade of lethal weapons unharmed
and swatted the duck.</P>
<p align=left>"Box-Blower Blow!"</P>
<p align=left>Mousse-oshidori stopped hurling blades and started panicking
as his feathers shuddered. Then, in an eruption of chains
and knives and assorted oddities, the duck vanished.</P>
<p align=left>A geyser of metal erupted from Mousse-oshidori's plumage as
everything he had hidden on his person was violently flung
outward, burying him under the mass of concealed weaponry.</P>
<p align=left>In seconds, a mound of bric-a-brac three meters high stood
in the Hibiki yard.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari and Katsunishiki heard the eruption from the side
yard, and went over to investigate. Seeing her precious
Ryoga-sama in his adorable piglet form, she leaped off of
her sumo pig, bounced off Pantyhose-kaijuu's gut, and
scooped him up in her arms as she landed.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my darling Ryoga-sama! Reunited at last! When you got
lost coming back from the wedding, I was so worried!"</P>
<p align=left>Katsunishiki followed, also bouncing off of Pantyhose-
kaijuu's gut, which awakened the monster and made his eyes
bug out.</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon me miss, but who are you, and what are you doing
with my son?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, hello, Hibiki-san!" she said cutely. "I'm Akari Unryuu,
Ryoga's girlfriend. And this," she said, indicating the sumo
pig, "is Katsunishiki the Fourteenth, Champion Sumo Pig of
Japan."</P>
<p align=left>(She's real?) Shampoo-neko thought. (I thought Ryoga was
making her up, just to weasel out of a relationship. Well,
I'll have to do something about *that*!)</P>
<p align=left>"Unryuu?" he said, alarmed. "Sumo pig? Are you any relation
to Kichiko Unryuu of Osaka?"</P>
<p align=left>"I have a cousin with that name," she replied. "Do you know
her?"</P>
<p align=left>"Whew! Dodged that one."</P>
<p align=left>"Beg pardon?"</P>
<p align=left>Before Ichiro could avoid explaining, a roar interrupted
them as Pantyhose-kaijuu slammed the pig that had hit him in
the gut into the ground.</P>
<p align=left>"My baby!" Akari cried.</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee!" Ryoga-buta cried as he struggled to get away.</P>
<p align=left>"Rowr!" Shampoo-neko yowled as she leapt at Akari, claws
extended. (Hands off my property, girlie!)</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro sighed. Children could be so rowdy.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose-kaijuu raised his hand again, preparing to finish
off the pig, when a flying idiot slammed him in the head.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu felt the disturbance around him, the energies
flaring nearby. Like during the typhoon, but less intense.</P>
<p align=left>Without second thought, he grabbed his bag and raced through
the streets toward the smoking house that was once the
Hibiki home.</P>
<p align=left>Outside in the yard, he found half of the usual Nerima
Wrecking Crew in their cursed states, including one monster
in a semi-conscious daze that he immediately recognized from
descriptions as Pantyhose Taro, one incredibly huge swine
that had it's back end sticking out of the ground and feet
kicking in the air, one young girl with claw slashes all
over her face, and Ichiro Hibiki holding his bleeding head
in his hands, sitting on what was left of the wall of his
house.</P>
<p align=left>Tatewaki Kuno, his clothes shredded and smoldering, was
sprawled on top of the monster, completely dazed as well,
appearing to have landed on him.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu took inventory, and attended to the girl first.</P>
<p align=left>"You okay, little one?" he asked her, pulling out sterilized
dressing pads to soak up the extra blood from her wounds. He
noted the pattern of the scratches as Shampoo's handiwork,
and made a note to talk to her as soon as she turned back.</P>
<p align=left>"Mostly ... " she answered in a slow daze. "That cat wants
my Ryoga."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu raised an eyebrow. (This is new.)</P>
<p align=left>He turned and approached Hibiki. He chuckled and examined
his head. "Well, Ichiro-kun, looks like I pull you out of
yet another mess, my friend."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro looked up at the younger man and chuckled as well.
"Things always do find a way of going 'boom' around me, eh?"</P>
<p align=left>"Mind telling me what happened?"</P>
<p align=left>"Remember the time we met up in Bangkok, with that odd
family ... ?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh yes - the two terrorist groups, the spy network, and the
Secret Cult of the Holy Shoes."</P>
<p align=left>"This wasn't as straight-forward."</P>
<p align=left>"Oy."</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Six</P>
<p align=left>Ranko spread her hair out over the floor, resting her arms
outward, breathing in the meditative patterns of soul-
searching.</P>
<p align=left>She had some time before she went into the clinic, and she
spent it in thought as she lay on the floor of the dojo.</P>
<p align=left>Her father was Ichiro Hibiki. Her genetic make-up did not
include Genma Saotome in any way. She had inherited the
apparent Hibiki temper and stubbornness that both Ranma and
Ryoga commonly displayed, with disastrous results. Nabiki
just informing her that Pantyhose was Ryoga's half-brother
only confirmed it.</P>
<p align=left>Her ... mother ... was Nodoka Saotome. A woman who had an
affair with a traveling salesman out of loneliness. The
woman who gave birth to her brother. The woman who ... gave
birth to *her*.</P>
<p align=left>She'd lived before, but not long enough to even take her
First breath. She had died before she lived, and her soul
Wandered the Earth for near sixteen years.</P>
<p align=left>(Of course, she had no proof of this, but it *felt* right.)</P>
<p align=left>Meanwhile, her brother that had survived was being tortured
and treated like property by a thing that was never a father
in the first place. The mother did nothing to stop it, and
had even condoned it.</P>
<p align=left>Sixteen years she had no body. She could not summon a memory
of where she went or who she came across in those years.</P>
<p align=left>Yet, she distinctly remembered being born in Ranma's
consciousness. She remembered when Ranma fell into the
cursed spring and she was thrust into his skull, feeling
their consciousnesses mingle and fight and panic in need for
survival. Then he broke the water and both took that gasp of
air. Both were in panic: Ranma for having her birthed inside
him, and her for being born. The scream of when he looked
down and saw her body made from his ... it was shared by
both. A scream of horror from him and a scream of panic from
her as she beheld the world for the first time in vivid,
overwhelming detail.</P>
<p align=left>She clung desperately at the edges of his consciousness.
There was a deep, black hole in there, empty and bottomless.
They fought constantly, as she attempted to gain control
over the female form several times. He beat her, he abused
her ... he even tried to kill her to rid her from his mind
and soul.</P>
<p align=left>Broken at last, she let go and fell into the darkness.</P>
<p align=left>But the darkness was not lonely, nor was it empty. It became
her. Or rather, she became it. Her newborn soul filled the
dark parts as she realized it was the yin of his soul. All
beings were born with both anima and animus, characteristics
of both sexes needed to survive, to have strength and
compassion. The years had made Ranma's yin empty, being
beaten out of him by Genma. He was dying, and she had to
save him. She had died, he shouldn't have to.</P>
<p align=left>She didn't recall the reason why she had to, just that she
knew. After the revelation that she was once from the same
womb as her brother, she understood the knowing she had of
their connection that had guided her actions.</P>
<p align=left>Her soul grew larger, encompassing and developing Ranma's
compassion. He still had control, but she broke through and
helped when she could. She paid attention to his dreams, his
thoughts, studied all she could when he was in female state
when he allowed her to look out of his eyes.</P>
<p align=left>The last ten months they had talked. Ranma found the place
to escape from everyone and she discovered an opportunity to
talk to him at last, when he was truly alone.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko wiped her eyes. The only man she ever knew, the only
person who truly mattered to her, the child she cared for
and the friend she needed. She knew him to be noble and good
and honorable in the best sense of the word. Knew that his
backward ways were not his fault ... and she desired him.</P>
<p align=left>Oh, yes, she would have tripped him and beat him to the mat.
Would have caused him the most wonderful of pleasures if he
let her take over his hands. Would have appeared completely
nude at the mirror they shared, offering him a treat. His
shyness and embarrassment prevented her from doing so, and
she respected it.</P>
<p align=left>Perhaps it was best, but it can leave an emotionally-charged
girl in a complete tizzy.</P>
<p align=left>She sighed, opening her blue eyes to stare at the ceiling.
She searched through her fantasies again, finding the one
marked 'Ranma in Attic and First Time', running it through
her mind. Then lost interest. She can't even enjoy *that*
now.</P>
<p align=left>They weren't as close or innocent anymore, and Akane was
living out every one of her fantasies concerning Ranma,
probably more than she knew of. Also knowing that he was
truly her brother and that one of her best friends having
him also killed her desire.</P>
<p align=left>She was painfully aware her soul and mind were more mature
than the others around her. All the teenagers were still
interested in games and glomping. Ranko longed for something
... more stable. Someone older, someone she could connect
with on all levels.</P>
<p align=left>She let a chuckle escape, recalling the lyrics to an
American musical.</P>
<p align=left>"I need someone -
Older and wiser - "</P>
<p align=left>Yes, that would help matters a little more ...</P>
<p align=left>(No, Ko-Chan, there is more to life than doing the
horizontal lambada with someone,) she firmly told herself.</P>
<p align=left>She got up, smoothing her skirt and checking her blouse as
she left the dojo.</P>
<p align=left>(But I'd like to know what it is ... )</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro was laying in a comfortable hospital bed with his son
standing next to him. His other son was in the other bed,
recovering from minor surgery from when the sumo pig landed
on him.</P>
<p align=left>"Son, I am not disappointed in you. I know brothers fight -
your uncle Hansuke used to fight with me constantly as we
were growing up. You and ... your brother ... just have the
disadvantage of having curses and more advanced martial arts
training."</P>
<p align=left>"I really didn't mean to destroy the kitchen, Dad," Ryoga
mumbled. "If Pantyhose hadn't - "</P>
<p align=left>"Stop calling me that," the bearer of the name mewed faintly
from the other side of the curtain.</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up, you. Dad, I don't want to be a disappointment to
you. If it's going to be that thing over there and me as
your sons, then I'm going to be the better of us."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro smiled, a single tear rolling down his face. "I am
proud of you, and always have been. You *are* honorable when
you choose to be. I am happy that you choose to be honorable
from now on." (And I do want *all* of my sons to get along.)</P>
<p align=left>A soft knock came from the doorway, and the Hibikis looked
up. Nodoka Saotome was framed in the door, worry written
across her pretty face.</P>
<p align=left>"No - " Ichiro caught himself. "Saotome-san, welcome. What
brings you by here?"</P>
<p align=left>She bowed her head politely, praying her trembling didn't
show.</P>
<p align=left>"I have come to keep you company, Hibiki-san. I feel ... a
little responsible after what happened last night at the
Tendo house."</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga blushed, looking down at his feet. Last night, why
always last night ...</P>
<p align=left>Ranko flickered her tongue out before she entered the
clinic. Odd, familiar energies were present. Seems the night
is going to be interesting indeed.</P>
<p align=left>Inside, she found Shampoo in the waiting room, reading a
Canton newspaper.</P>
<p align=left>"Yikes!" she breathed, seeing the girl she unmercifully beat
only days ago.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked up - and *smiled*! She set the paper down and
approached Ranko, hugging her. All the redhead could do was
stand in paralyzed fear and confusion.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko! Shampoo thank Ranko for forcing fate pick Shampoo's
Airen!"</P>
<p align=left>"Nani? Am I missing something here?" she gathered her
thoughts and began anew in Cantonese. "{Sorry about that,
Shampoo, but what are you talking about?}"
</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sighed in relief, wondering why she couldn't have
just spoken a language she was more familiar with among the
usual group. It seemed that more of them were familiar with
Chinese than she knew. "{Because of what happened with you
and Ranma, I was forced by great-grandmother to find myself
a husband. I did so in which I would not have to face Akane,
and it turned out, by Artemis, that Ryoga is my True Love!}"</P>
<p align=left>(Shampoo as my ... sister-in-law???)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko facefaulted right on the clinic's tile floor.</P>
<p align=left>The Amazon sighed, picking her up. "{I don't understand why
people are always shocked about it. Once you really look
deep in him, he is honorable and noble.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Yes ... yes ... I just never expected this ... }"</P>
<p align=left>"{Call me Sister, friend. I forgive you of our fight.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko raised her eyebrow, her suspicion meter red-lining.
"{Shampoo, is there something you want?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked at her, then smiled. "{Actually, great-
grandmother wants you, Ranma, and Akane to join the Amazon
tribe. I don't really care one way or another, although
Akane scares me. I really do want to put the past behind
us. I want to go on. I have Chibi-Happi for my first child,
and I want Ryoga as my husband. Whatever you want to do is
fine by me, just explain it to the Withered Old Bitch
first.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stuck her lips out, hunching herself over,
pretending to hold a staff. "Shampoo, you go marry Ranma
Saotome. He powerful warrior. Those mushrooms were a lousy
idea, child," she mimicked her great-grandmother.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko chortled, which made Shampoo break her act and laugh,
until both their giggles echoed off the clinic walls and
reached the Hibiki room.</P>
<p align=left>"Sounds like Ranko," Nodoka sighed.</P>
<p align=left>"And sounds like Shampoo," Ryoga sighed.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro beamed. His undecided daughter and his future
daughter-in-law were *getting along*!</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, by the way, Nodoka-san, my son has been accepted as a
husband by the Amazon tribe ... "</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Tofu looked up at the ceiling of his private office,
listening to his receptionist have a laugh with Shampoo out
in the lobby. He smiled to himself, delighting in the
warmness of her laugh, the sheer excitement in it. He never
thought a girl's giggle would be so ... beautiful ...</P>
<p align=left>(Wake up, old man. Forget it.)</P>
<p align=left>He gathered up the Hibiki paperwork, and paused, listening
to the heartbeats around him. One quite similar to Ranma and
Ranko's was present. He decided to investigate.</P>
<p align=left>Upon entering the Hibiki room, he did a double take. At
first, he thought Ranko had dressed in a kimono and chopped
off her longish hair, then recognized the familiar patterns
of motherhood and age in her aura. (Ah, must be Mrs.
Saotome.)</P>
<p align=left>He chuckled at the irony, Ranko's mother in his clinic.
"Konban wa," he greeted patients and visitors. "Just checking
on the Hibiki clan."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato, Tofu-sensei," Ichiro nodded. "May I introduce you
to Nodoka Saotome, mother of Ranma and Ranko, wife of Genma
Saotome."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu noted the pained flinch on her subconscious level. (Oh
my my my. Interesting development here ... Nodoka Saotome
and Ichiro - boy never could keep his pants up ... Who can
blame him, the Saotome women are quite interesting specimens
... both mother and daughter ... )</P>
<p align=left>He slapped the thought aside and continued, "Pleased to meet
you at last. Your daughter is a great help in my clinic."</P>
<p align=left>"Is she here?" Nodoka asked expectantly.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, out in the lobby. If you wish to speak with her ... "
"Ich - Hibiki-san?"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu shook his head. (More obvious than these teenagers.
Good thing Ryoga keeps himself ignorant enough of such
behavior to not recognize it. Mental note: he appears to be
calmer and a brightness of intelligence in the eyes. Have to
ask Ichiro about that.)</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka bowed her head and stood, quietly leaving the room.</P>
<p align=left>She found Ranko and the Chinese Amazon talking by the desk,
both acting like the teenagers they were, instead of the
frightful martial artists she understood them to be. Both
spoke rapidly in Cantonese, slight blushes across their
cheeks, large smiles.</P>
<p align=left>She felt a pain deep inside her gut, almost at her womb. How
she always wanted a daughter, to love and care and teach and
share with. She felt tears well up, and she bit them back.
Her own daughter, who had been misplaced for years, hated
her, believing she abandoned her.</P>
<p align=left>She tried to remember what Ranko really yelled at her
about, of allowing Ranma to be tortured at the hands of
Genma, doing nothing to stop them. Was martial arts
training torture? But had the girl any idea how much *pain*
she herself was in for sacrificing him? How much she wanted
to beat Genma and take her little boy back and love him?
How she wanted to throttle the ancestors for dictating
permission to kill a woman's spirit by taking her only
child away?</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka wiped her tears with the back of her hand, lifting
the katana in front of her. She forced herself to approach
Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>The girls quieted, observing her.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stared the woman eye to eye, their dark blue eyes
meeting and exchanging memories of pain and hate toward the
society that forced one to sacrifice and the other to fight.</P>
<p align=left>"R-ranko -" Nodoka began.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned away. "No - not yet. I can't yet."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka nodded, turned, and walked away.</P>
<p align=left>She said 'not yet'; before she had said 'never'. There was a
chance.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked back and forth between the Saotome women.
(Serious emotions here.) "{Should I leave?}"</P>
<p align=left>"No, Shampoo-chan," Ranko said. "It's nothing."</P>
<p align=left>"{Liar.}"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Some time later, Nodoka had returned to the Hibiki room
after Ryoga had left to talk with Shampoo about the
afternoon's fight. Nabiki had stopped by to offer them a
neutral ground to chat, since the Tendo home appeared to be
sanctuary in these strange times and circumstances. Her
father and Genma were nursing their hangovers in the office,
and she wanted some company.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko updated the Hibiki records, performed spot cleaning,
greeted the patients of the doctor's evening trade. Her
initial shock had been over, and she didn't even flinch when
a vegetarian vampire came waltzing in, nor gaped when an
Egyptian mummy stumbled in, demanding to be rebandaged.</P>
<p align=left>She was deep in thought as she deciphered Tofu's handwriting
for medical ordering, when a soft, low woman's voice
murmured, "Oh my my my ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" Ranko looked up.</P>
<p align=left>Sitting on the corner of her desk was a cherry-colored
skinned female. Small horns curved gently above her black
hairline, and a pair of tiny black bat wings stirred lazily
at her back. She was clad in a black leather bikini, showing
off a curvy and strong body.</P>
<p align=left>(Great Gods! She actually has a better figure than I do!)
Ranko chuckled to herself.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm here to see Doctor Tofu about ... some personal
concerns," she drawled, smiling to herself, almost giggling.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, the seven o'clock ... " Ranko handed her the clipboard
and added, "Tofu-sensei will be with you in a moment."</P>
<p align=left>"I'm a regular," she replied, signing the sheet. "I'll be in
my usual room."</P>
<p align=left>The woman slipped off the desk and ... she didn't just walk,
she bounced ... over the one of the examination rooms,
complete with swaying hips and jiggling assets.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko scratched her head and looked down at the signature.</P>
<p align=left>'Eryala, Succubus first class,' she read.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu looked at his personal schedule, and light
dawned on top of his head.</P>
<p align=left>(Of course she would ... )</P>
<p align=left>He entered the examination room and found the succubus
reclined on the table, her bikini laying on the counter.
Tofu nobly ignored the obscene posture she was in.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, well, what the hells were you doing in my head last
night?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>She dropped the posture and giggled, leaping off the table
to throw her arms around him in an embrace.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on, Ono-sweetie, you know I like to play with you ..."
she murmured, kissing his neck. "Although it surprised me
that the girl I portrayed is actually your receptionist.
Naughty, naughty doctor. You should be spanked ... "</P>
<p align=left>He cleared his throat, gently pushing her away. "Listen,
it's not what you think, and I'd appreciate it if you would
stop playing games with me before your appointments."</P>
<p align=left>She let go of him, moving to the other side of the room.</P>
<p align=left>"It was the most reaction I ever got out of you, sweetness.
Tell me it's not more than simple lust."</P>
<p align=left>He giggled nervously, "She's my receptionist, nothing like
that."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, really?" She turned and brought her hands over her
head, down the front of her body. Her skin paled and her
hair lightened to red, shortening to half-way down her back.
Her eyes turned deep blue, and a trenchcoat grew over her
body.</P>
<p align=left>"Look familiar, Tofu-sensei?" she asked, using Ranko's voice
that she heard moments ago.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu felt his stomach clench, his battle aura snapping on.</P>
<p align=left>"Don't ever desecrate her like that!"</P>
<p align=left>At exactly the wrong moment, Ranko Saotome opened the door.</P>
<p align=left>She took in the scene of the succubus that looked exactly
like her, the doctor with his battle aura flaring, and the
leather bikini strewn on the counter.</P>
<p align=left>"I don't even *want* to know," she commented, closing the
door.</P>
<p align=left>"Oops ... " the succubus squeaked.</P>
<p align=left>"Now you've done it," he sighed, opening the door. "Wait!
Ranko!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko went back to her desk. "Don't worry, Tofu-sensei -
confidentiality rules, just like you told me."</P>
<p align=left>"It isn't like that!" he protested. "She's just a patient."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course."
</P>
<p align=left>"Dammit, stop that! I'm trying to explain!"</P>
<p align=left>"And I believe you."</P>
<p align=left>As he opened his mouth, Ranko placed her fingertips on his
lips. "Ono-san, please. Don't dig yourself in any deeper."</P>
<p align=left>He was about to protest, but he noted the smile on her lips,
the chuckle in her voice ... and the tender skin of her
fingertips touching his lips ...</P>
<p align=left>He pulled back. "Uh, right. I'll take care of Eryala - I
mean, I'll treat her - I- "</P>
<p align=left>"Go back to your patient," she said, a huge, shining smile
on her face.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu retreated, blushing.</P>
<p align=left>(He *does* get embarrassed easily,) Ranko thought to herself.
(It's a good thing she made herself look like *me* - if it
was Kasumi, he'd probably have given in.)</P>
<p align=left>That thought depressed her, for reasons she didn't want to
think about.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo took a quick trip home, to dress in a very naughty
dress (slightly too small, purple to compliment her hair,
with gold tracery designed to attract the watcher's
attention to certain places without being obvious about it),
while Nabiki escorted Ryoga to the Tendo Dojo.</P>
<p align=left>She thought and thought about it. She couldn't win Ryoga by
simply glomping onto him. He'd have a nosebleed and ruin her
dress.</P>
<p align=left>She noticed that Ryoga was acting differently at the clinic.
Whatever had happened, he became calmer and more thoughtful,
and she delighted in it even more. Cute, honorable,
properly meek, innocently sexy, and *strong*. By sheer
strength he could probably beat her in martial arts and
they could officially be engaged!</P>
<p align=left>Then she shook her head. No, not like that. She wanted a
love-match, like her mother had. Not an enforced marriage.</P>
<p align=left>She twirled in front of her mirror, giggling to herself, and
bounced out of the room. As she passed by the kitchen, she
caught bits of conversation from her grandmother and the
idiot Mousse.</P>
<p align=left>"{ ... say he was Ryoga Hibiki's father who did this to
you?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{The monster did a 'Box Blower Blow' on me!}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Why?}"</P>
</P>
<p align=left>" ... "</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo grinned and yelled, "{Because he destroyed the
Hibiki house, and Airen's father did not like it!}"</P>
<p align=left>She heard a skillet make contact with Mousse's thick head,
and she chuckled, calling out, "{I'll be back later on
tonight, Airen and I are going to have a talk.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I'll put the baby to bed, child. I wish you luck. May the
Goddess bless you to succeed.}"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki stared her guest eye to eye across the table,
studying to see if he were on any hard drugs.</P>
<p align=left>"Why do you want to apologize to Akane all a sudden?" she
asked.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga shrugged. "I have to. After all the crap I did to her
... I feel really bad about it."</P>
<p align=left>"So, it's not all Ranma's fault?"</P>
<p align=left>He ground his teeth. "Not all of it. That bastard's fault is
most of it, but I must apologize to her for tricking her ...
for betraying her trust ... " He inhaled deeply, swallowing
the tears back down.</P>
<p align=left>He couldn't help it, he was still in love with her. Ranma
had taken her away from him, and he couldn't do a damn thing
about it now. Yet ... he didn't really care, he just wanted
to see her, apologize to her, touch her face and perhaps
even cry for lost love.</P>
<p align=left>He shook his head of his thoughts. They were scary things
now. Thoughts floating around, a newly reworked conscience.
Scary indeed.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi appeared in the doorway, holding a basket.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm going to visit your father at the clinic, Ryoga, and
bring him and Nodoka-obachan dinner. Is there anything you
want me to relay to him for you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah ... I'm sorry for everything ... "</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi nodded, smiling, then disappeared.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki turned back to him, appraising him. This was a whole
new side to the Lost Boy. The mindlessly-angry jerk was
gone, replaced by this stranger. This rather nice stranger.
"Hey, Ryoga?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah?"</P>
<p align=left>"Anyone ever tell you you're kinda cute?"</P>
<p align=left>He replied by blushing to his hair roots, looking down at
the cup of tea in front of him.</P>
<p align=left>The doorbell rang and Nabiki got up to answer the door.</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo hope not keep waiting," the Amazon remarked,
entering the house.</P>
<p align=left>"Not long ... listen, Shampoo, if it doesn't work out
between you two ... "</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo raised her eyebrow, flexing her fingers into claws.
"Mercenary Girl see what happen to Sumo Pig Girl?"</P>
<p align=left>"Eep! Sorry I asked, didn't mean to offend you!"</P>
<p align=left>"Not offend, but Shampoo know this work. Goddess bless."</P>
<p align=left>"Just go easy on him, he's not used to being glomped."</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo smiled in return. "Shampoo not glomp now - not work
anyhow. Have better idea."</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi entered the clinic, softly humming an ancient ballad
to herself. She placed the basket on the desk and looked
around.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko appeared from the back, carrying a stack of folders.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Kasumi-chan! What brings you by?" she inhaled, leaning
over the basket. "Food! YUM!!! I'm starved!"</P>
<p align=left>She reached her hand over to the flap and Kasumi slapped it
away, laughing. "You'll have dinner when you come home
tonight! This is for Hibiki-otosan." (And your mother.)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko rubbed her hand. "Ow, you can break some bones,
oneechan. He's in room five-A. Pantyhose is right next to
him, drugged off his ass, so he should be tolerable."</P>
<p align=left>"Poor boy," Kasumi cooed. "Now that Happosai is an infant,
he can't change his name now, can he?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, he can," Ranko sighed. "He's just too stupid to do it
himself."</P>
<p align=left>"Tradition is hard to get rid of, Ko-Chan."</P>
<p align=left>The redhead nodded soberly. A voice from the back called
out, "Ranko-chan, I need those files on the Isuke triplets."</P>
<p align=left>"Aren't they at your end of the clinic?"</P>
<p align=left>"No, they - why, Kasumi!" Doctor Tofu appeared behind Ranko.
"What a ... pleasant surprise! To meet you here ... of all
places!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko caught Kasumi rolling her eyes as she turned to see
the doctor morph into a complete doofus. The glasses fogging
up, his skin breaking out in a cold sweat, his hands
trembling and dropping folders ... Ranko dived down and
caught them before they hit the floor, then straightened
herself up away from him, since his hands were moving like
break-dancing pigeons.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked at Tofu and looked at his aura, curious about
how his aura appeared in this condition ... and got a shock.</P>
<p align=left>There was no trace of the gold of love, or the brighter
colors of infatuation. Instead, there was fear and anger and
helplessness. And that wasn't the least of it.</P>
<p align=left>Every part of his aura was ... convulsing.</P>
<p align=left>"Konban wa, Tofu-sensei," Kasumi smiled. "I have come to keep
Nodoka-obachan and Hibiki-san company."</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, yes ... " the once competent doctor shuffled back,
running into the file cabinet and started it to tip over.
Ranko leapt over him and the files to push it back up before
it fell.</P>
<p align=left>"Tofu-sensei, why don't we go back into your office?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, yes ... arigato ... uh, Ranko ... um, bye ... "</P>
<p align=left>Tofu turned and rammed face first into a door frame, then
stumbled through it and around the corner.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi watched him, then turned to Ranko. "Do you now
understand why I feel sorry for him? He can't behave himself
around me. I've no idea why he reacts that way." She picked
up the basket. "I had better take this in before it gets
cold."</P>
<p align=left>"All right," Ranko answered in a distracted manner, "see you
in a little bit." She dashed to the doctor's office, worry
on her face.</P>
<p align=left>He was hyperventilating in his desk chair, his aura just
twitching. But the fear and anger and helplessness was still
there, now mixed with shame.</P>
<p align=left>"Ono?" she asked, alarm in her voice.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm ... recovering, Ko-Chan," he said.</P>
<p align=left>"What happened?"</P>
<p align=left>"I - don't know. It happens whenever Kasumi comes around.
I've never been able to figure it out."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko got a damp washcloth from his washroom and patted off
his forehead. "Everyone thinks you're so in love with her
because you go nuts when she's around."</P>
<p align=left>"I used to think that, too," he replied. "But I have no
problem with avoiding her. And I do believe that if I were
in love with her, I'd try to keep her around. Instead, I'm
beginning to ... resent her."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko narrowed her eyes, staring into his eyes. "Interesting
- needs to be looked into ... "</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi wandered around, finding the Hibiki room. She
knocked softly at the door frame and Ichiro brightened.</P>
<p align=left>"Come in Tendo-chan, come in!" he called. "Nodoka and I were
just talking about trying to find some dinner. Want to
order?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well, here I am, delivering some wholesome, home-cooked
food."</P>
<p align=left>"A Gods'-send, Kasumi," Nodoka replied, accepting the basket
from her.</P>
<p align=left>"No problem at all. Friends must be taken care of."</P>
<p align=left>"Indeed," Ichiro agreed, smiling. A thought occurred to him.
"Kasumi, could you look in on my son and see if he's well
enough to eat?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hai." Kasumi bowed and turned to brush the curtain lightly
aside.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose's side of the room was dark, the sound of a few
medical monitors next to him beeped softly. She approached
the figure in the bed, debating within herself of what to
do.</P>
<p align=left>
"Come to see the freak?" he asked weakly.</P>
<p align=left>"No, only to see you are all right." She settled in the
chair next to him, finding a cool cloth on his table. She
dipped it in the pan of ice water, wringing it out, then
applied it to his forehead.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not all right. Nothing has ever been right ... " he
paused, feeling the coolness against his skin. "Why are you
here?"</P>
<p align=left>"Shh," she whispered. "Let me take care of you, dear."</P>
<p align=left>"I don't need to be taken care of."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course not," she humored him.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm strong."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course you are."</P>
<p align=left>"I'm tired."</P>
<p align=left>"I know, dear. Rest, all will be better from now on."</P>
<p align=left>She felt his fingers fold over her wrist in the dark,
squeezing it gently. "I hope so ..."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi leaned over and softly kissed his forehead. "Trust
me."</P>
<p align=left>He smiled weakly. "All right," he whispered, then slipped
into unconsciousness.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Seven</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki studied Shampoo and Ryoga through narrow eyes.</P>
<p align=left>A few hours earlier, they were painfully polite as they
sipped tea and discussed the fight at his house that
morning. Of her explaining why Mousse had always attacked a
guy who she was attached to or had a crush on her (leaving
out details, of course). Of him explaining why he was in
love with Akane. The conversation lead to Ryoga and Shampoo
discussing Ranma and what exactly happened the past week
with him, Akane, and Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>She talked of Ranma ... and felt nothing. Not even a twinge
of excitement or anger.</P>
<p align=left>He talked of Ranma ... and felt saddened. He never realized
how angry he was until now.</P>
<p align=left>Eventually, the talk relaxed, both settled on sitting
pillows next to each other and recalling the stunts they
pulled over the past few months, culminating in the Wedding
Fiasco. Nabiki left, feeling shame for bringing on that
mess, a little surprised the Lost Boy and the Amazon were
talking about it like an embarrassing moment they could
finally laugh about.</P>
<p align=left>They talked about martial arts and Amazon culture and the
mysteries of the 'lost' gene. They got to know each other,
and Ryoga's understanding of Cantonese became much better
with Shampoo as a companion.</P>
<p align=left>(Why was I ever afraid of her?) he wondered. (She isn't the
air-headed glomper I knew her to be, but an intelligent
human being.)</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo felt ... comfortable with him. He didn't take
advantage of her, but treated her like a gentleman would.
(Of course, she never tried to date a gentleman before.) She
swallowed the lump in her throat, wondering if it was
possible to fall in love on a first (kinda) date.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga reached back to rub his shoulder, and she brightened.</P>
<p align=left>"{I can perform excellent back rubs,}" she offered. "{Would
you mind?}"</P>
<p align=left>He looked up at her, surprised by this. "You can massage,
too?"</P>
<p align=left>"{Yes, and I'll even go easy on you, since you had a hard
day.}"</P>
<p align=left>He inhaled sharply, eyes widening slightly. A girl was going
to ... rub her hands on him? Oh, my. Oh, MY!</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo crawled around him, sticking her rear up in his line
of vision. All he could do was stare, then quickly turned
his head away from her.</P>
<p align=left>"Um, what do you want me to do?"</P>
<p align=left>"{Just relax,}" she replied, placing her hands gently on his
shoulders as she settled.</P>
<p align=left>"I've never done this before."</P>
<p align=left>She giggled as she drew her legs around his, pinning his
thighs with her knees locked over them. He tensed, feeling
her hands stroke down his back and up again, finding knots
he never knew were there. Nervousness and newly awakened
arousal danced across his mind and through his body. He
shifted uncomfortably, figuring out part of his problem was
standing at attention at the moment.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo smiled silly to herself, delighting in the feel of
his muscles through the shirt. His scent was strong in her
nose, his skin warm, his body nervous under her hands. She
felt a familiar ache in her breast, but this one was
sharper, rounder, fuller. She pressed her breast against his
back, luxuriating in the feel of his body.</P>
<p align=left>She couldn't help herself. She leaned forward and kissed the
back of his neck.</P>
<p align=left>"Eep!" Ryoga attempted to jump up in shock, only to find
himself pinned by her legs around his.</P>
<p align=left>"{Did that surprise you?}" she asked in a low, husky voice.</P>
<p align=left>He gulped, overwhelmed with her sweet scent and warm body.
"Yes!"</P>
<p align=left>"{I'm sorry.}" She ran her hands under his arms and around
to his chest, running them over the firm muscles. She lay
her head on his shoulder, embracing him.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga calmed, feeling her head resting against him. </P>
<p align=left>Actually, he wasn't calm, as a debate between his hormones
and his mind escalated into a war. He was male, and he was
attracted to a beautifully endowed girl in a tight dress.
(But she's a person ... she's a human being ... I can't hurt
her ... )</P>
<p align=left>"{Mmm, my Ryoga.}" Her lips caressed up his neck, up along
side his ear, where she nibbled gently on the lobe. She
squeezed her thighs around him, feeling him move.</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo, I - I - "</P>
<p align=left>"{Yes?}"</P>
<p align=left>He took a deep breath, turning in her arms and wrapping his
around her. He searched deep in her eyes, looking for
permission, finding she was all too willing.</P>
<p align=left>Their lips met. She guided his inexperienced ones gently,
loving his mouth with all her passions. There was a dreamy
intimacy to their kiss, as he hungrily devoured hers in need
and she made love to his with desire. Their hands wandered,
hers pulling him down on top of herself as she leaned back,
allowing his hands to tenderly massage her sides.</P>
<p align=left>"{Oh, Ryoga!}" she murmured against his lips.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, Gods, what am I doing?!" he shrieked, forcing himself
off of her. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't
have done that, oh, my God."</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga," she sat up as she called for him. "{Please, come
back here.}"</P>
<p align=left>"No," he stood up, stumbling around. "Oh, my God, I can't
believe I did that, I'm so sorry, Shampoo."</P>
<p align=left>"{Don't apologize for it - }"</P>
<p align=left>"I have to go, I have to think about this." With that, he
charged out of the house through a window and disappeared
into the dark night.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stood and leaned out the window, looking for him.</P>
<p align=left>(Well, it was a start. I hate being left hanging like that,
though.)</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki got up from her vantage point on the floor, her roll
of film half-filled.</P>
<p align=left>(Time to make some money off a few interested parties.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(The next morning)</P>
<p align=left>"Doctor Tofu!" an excited voice cried over the phone. "You
have to come to the Furinkan High School gym! You're the
only person qualified to deal with this situation."</P>
<p align=left>"What? Was there an injury? Isn't this a day off from
school?"</P>
<p align=left>"No. Yes. And there's a couple of ghosts in the gym. When
can you come over?"</P>
<p align=left>"Fifteen minutes."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The day dawned bright and clear. The sky gleamed lapis
lazuli blue, illuminating the redheaded girl dressed in an
orange skirt and yellow tank top as she leapt from roof to
roof of the houses of Nerima toward the high school.</P>
<p align=left>She paused on top of the gym, looking around. No one noticed
her perched on top of it, holding a large bag over her back.
She breathed deeply, feeling the cool breeze stir her loose
hair over her shoulders.</P>
<p align=left>She figured the best person to talk to would be her Niichan.
And she did miss him.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko knocked at the outside hatch, slipping in and
chuckling, "I hope you perverts are dressed."</P>
<p align=left>She dropped the bag in and landing on her feet. She found
Ranma and Akane laying on the futon, both still dressed in
their pajamas (which were buttoned all wrong).</P>
<p align=left>"Did I interrupt something?" she asked nonchalantly.</P>
<p align=left>"Uh, no!" Ranma replied, getting up and hugging her.</P>
<p align=left>"Liar," she giggled. "It's been almost a week, and I assumed
you two needed some stock up."</P>
<p align=left>"Has it been a week?" he asked as he separated from her. </P>
<p align=left>Akane stood up and touched Ranko's shoulder. "Are you sure?"</P>
<p align=left>Of course I am, oneechan," Ranko giggled pleasantly. "What
were you two doing? Did she finally relieve you of your
virginity, Ranma-kun?"</P>
<p align=left>Akane laughed, "He's still a virgin - technically."</P>
<p align=left>He gulped, blushing, stammering.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko howled with laughter, dropping to roll around on the
floor and clutch her stomach.</P>
<p align=left>Akane and Ranma put the groceries away as she continued
laughing.</P>
<p align=left>"Are you done yet, Ko-chan?"</P>
<p align=left>"Almost - bwee-hee-hee ... "</P>
<p align=left>The young lovers settled back down on the futon, smiling and
caressing each other gently.</P>
<p align=left>"After all this time," the redhead gasped as she sat up.
"You two are still able to keep going?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma shrugged, grinning. "We're catching up from all year."</P>
<p align=left>"From the moment we met in the bath."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko chuckled. "That will take a little while, then."</P>
<p align=left>"Almost there. Hey, Ko-chan," Akane brightened. "Like to
join us?"</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAAAAK!" Ranma's eyes bugged out.</P>
"Shut up, Ranma-sama," Akane said, tickling his tummy.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko raised an eyebrow. (Oh, my, a week ago she was about
ready to kill me because she suspected I was making
insinuations.)</P>
<p align=left>But the opportunity to yank Ranma's chain was too good to
pass up.</P>
<p align=left>"Tempting. What shall the combination be? Us on you? Us
girls on Niichan? Or I go curse and us guys on you? Or he
goes curse and all of us girls?"
<p align=left>"Thousands of combinations ... " Akane mused, smirking. "How
about you and me, either form?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, Niichan can watch!"</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAAAAAK!!!" Ranma squeaked again.</P>
<p align=left>"Or I can go curse and you can watch me and Niichan!"</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAAAAAK!!!" Ranma squealed, facefaulting and blushing at
the same time.</P>
<p align=left>Akane sighed, leaned over, and kissed his mouth shut. After
a moment, she whispered something to him.</P>
<p align=left>"You were only kidding?" he asked, relief in his voice.</P>
<p align=left>"Of course we were," Ranko added, winking to Akane.</P>
<p align=left>"Whew! Akane is already too much for me! The both of you
will give me heart failure!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, well," Akane chuckled. "If you keel over, I'll just
have to take up with your beautiful sister."</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAK!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko laughed, patting his knee. "Don't sweat it, Niichan."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Akane said, wrapping her arms protectively around
her lover. "It'll be a while before I'm ready to share you
anyway." She turned to Ranko, her eyes gleaming. "It's been
heaven up here, Ko-Chan! Do you know what we did last
night?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko began blushing. "Haven't we embarrassed Ranma-kun
enough?"</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma and I had a fight!" Akane proclaimed proudly. "Our
first!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked confused. "Beg pardon?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma chuckled. "Not like we used to. We had a disagreement,
we got a little hot under the collar, we made up. No big
deal."</P>
<p align=left>"No malleting, no name-calling, no screaming, no crying,"
Akane clarified. "It wasn't those temper tantrums we called
fights. And we coped with it!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko applauded. "I *knew* you could do it! Congratulations
- both of you!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane stood and bowed to the applauding Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>"So, Ranko," Ranma asked. "The food all that brought you
up?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko shook her head. "I actually came here to talk to you
about something - something important to both of us."</P>
<p align=left>Akane got up and gathered her towels. "I'll let you two
talk, then. I'm going to the shower."</P>
<p align=left>"You better, Akane-sama, you're as whiff as a skunk."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, shut up, you."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked around her birthplace and noticed something
different. "Hey, where's my mirror? Afraid I could look in
on you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Actually ... " Ranma shifted uncomfortably. "We couldn't
see our reflections."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Akane added, the lilt gone from her voice. "We can
see the room, but we couldn't see ourselves. So, we covered
it up and moved it behind a wall."</P>
<p align=left>"That's *really* odd," Ranko nodded. "Mind if I take it and
let Ono-san have a look at it?"</P>
<p align=left>"'Ono-san'?" both repeated, puzzled.v
<p align=left>Ranko's eyes widened and she muttered, "I meant 'Tofu-
sensei'!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane's eyes met, smiles spreading across their
faces.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, no, you two, forget whatever it is you're thinking!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane waved with her towel, disappearing down the inside
hatch of the gym.
</P>
<p align=left>Ranko cleared her throat and settled down next to Ranma. He
turned and hugged her closely, touching his cheek to hers.
"I'm so glad you came to visit. You look like you're having
a martial arts fight inside your head."</P>
<p align=left>"It feels like it at times," she lay her head on his
shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. "Nodoka has come to
make peace with me."</P>
<p align=left>"That's good," he commented, then felt her arms squeeze him
tightly. "Okay, that's *not* good," he squeaked.v
<p align=left>"You know why I dislike her, Ranma-kun," she breathed
against his neck. "I'm so tired of her excuses. She's never
apologized to you, never tried to seek you out and take you
back."</P>
<p align=left>"She's only following duty and honor," he rubbed her back.
"You can't hate her for that alone."</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, I can." She ran her cheek up along his throat and
face. "I'm tired of all of it." Her eyes met his as her
heart flip-flopped inside her chest. "And I'm so alone now."
She closed her eyes, running her lips over his chin and up
to his mouth.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan, no, we can't." He released her, moving back from
her face. "It's ... not like it used to be anymore."</P>
<p align=left>"Gods, I'm sorry," she held her face in her hands.
"Everything is weirding out on me. First all this with
Nodoka, then Shampoo chasing after Ryoga, Pantyhose showing
up and trying to find Happosai, but finding out he's Ryoga's
half-brother ... "</P>
<p align=left>Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Actually, that doesn't surprise
me. Both kinda look alike."</P>
<p align=left>(And you don't know the other half of the story, brother
dear.)</P>
<p align=left>"Now I'm working for Tofu-sensei, and something really
disturbed me last night."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah?"</P>
<p align=left>She looked at him. Then wondered why she was dumping all her
complaints on him</P>
<p align=left>"Nothing. Forget it."</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>She lay her head back on his shoulder, weeping. "I miss you
so much. I never realized how lonely it is out here."</P>
<p align=left>"Give everything time, Ko-chan. You're only a few days old.
Nothing is easy. It took me over a year to figure out Akane
is my love."</P>
<p align=left>"I know, dearest. I was in there - " she tapped his forehead.
" - during that time.</P>
<p align=left>"Thank you," he whispered, kissing her cheek.</P>
<p align=left>"For what?"</P>
<p align=left>"For being in there. You saved me from becoming a monster,
from losing the humanity that the Old Bastard tried to beat
out of me. It scares me to think of what I'd've become if
you hadn't kept me sane."</P>
<p align=left>"I handed the job over to Akane-chan, ichunnohito," she
replied, then breathed deeply. "What am I to do with
Nodoka?"</P>
<p align=left>"Listen to her and forgive her, like I have."</P>
<p align=left>"Easier said than done, Niichan."</P>
<p align=left>"I know," he smiled, chucking her chin up. "I'm still
working on my problem with Genma."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded. "That one I'm not even going to go into."</P>
<p align=left>"What else has happened?"</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled. "Everybody thinks the gym is haunted."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Tofu felt out the ki-patterns around the gym. Three life-
forces were present, one in the girls' shower room and two
above his head. He recognized the familiar energy of his
receptionist, and the newly tuned ones of Akane and Ranma as
well.</P>
<p align=left>(So, this is where they have been hiding out.)</P>
<p align=left>"You say the gym is haunted?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes," the head custodian replied. "By the ghosts of ancient
warriors."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu raised a professional eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"</P>
<p align=left>"They shout out 'Banzai' quite often."</P>
<p align=left>The doctor snickered into his hand, covering it up with a
cough.</P>
<p align=left>"I'll see what I can do. Please leave me to investigate."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato."</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>A soft knock came from the hatch a moment later, and Ranma
went to open it. Instead of finding his fragrantly wet
Akane, it was a chuckling Doctor Tofu.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, doc," Ranma greeted him in surprise. "How'd you find
us? Did Ko-chan tell you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Not at all, Ranma-kun," he smiled nervously at Ranko. "One
of the school employees called me on a matter of the gym
being haunted ... Something about ghosts shouting 'Banzai',
I understand?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma blushed as Ranko sniggered.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu smiled and looked around. "A good, quiet place for
Akane to rest. Good choice."</P>
<p align=left>"I think so," Ranma admitted. </P>
<p align=left>"Rest isn't exactly the word I'd use, though," Ranko
insinuated.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh?" Tofu grinned.</P>
<p align=left>Seeing Ranma fidget, Ranko decided to change the topic. "Did
you know I was born here?" Ranko offered. "In fact, I'd like
you to take a look at the mirror."</P>
<p align=left>She disappeared and Tofu checked Ranma by Third Eye only,
seeing the teenager's aura was a swirl of dramatic color,
happiness and love playing around his energy. Akane was
healing him nicely</P>
<p align=left>Ranko came back in with the mirror draped with a blue sheet.
She removed it and asked, "What do you see?"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu studied the mirror, waved his hand in front of it. Then
tapped into his own energy, reading the mirror.</P>
<p align=left>"Fascinating," he murmured, leaning closer to the glass,
feeling it. Ranko hung over his shoulder, touching the
mirror as well. He swallowed, picking up her gentle scent of
violets and female musk.</P>
<p align=left>"You know how Ranma and I would meet, by appearing on
opposite sides of the mirror. It wasn't like that before we
contacted."</P>
<p align=left>"It was an ordinary mirror I picked up out of the trash
heap," Ranma shrugged. "It still has that crack at the top.
Did a lot of meditation with it."</P>
<p align=left>"And that's how I was able to corner you, dear," Ranko
smiled, laying her hand on his cheek. Tofu noticed this
affectionate gesture and smiled.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm glad it did," the doctor commented. "Although the
status quo has been turned upside down by it. Ranko-chan, it
appears that the Gods may have had a hand in your birth."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" both Saotomes asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Just a hypothesis. Whatever caused you to join our world
was not of this Earth. Most objects touched by a God or Gods
retain divine residue. This mirror appears to have been - "</P>
<p align=left>He felt Ranko leave his shoulder and he turned to see her
staring off into space, sitting down on the futon.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?" Ranma sat next to her, holding her shoulders.</P>
<p align=left>"Niichan ... I had a *purpose* for being born!"</P>
<p align=left>"What are you talking about?"</P>
<p align=left>"Nodoka didn't just give birth to you. You had a stillborn
twin sister ... and it may have been me."</P>
<p align=left>"'Nature always finds a way'," Tofu quoted, sitting on her
other side, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And the Gods do
find ways of ensuring it."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma shook his head, dizzy with the news. "No wonder Mom
always wanted to adopt my female half as a daughter. I - you
- look like her, and she probably believed that my twin
sister would look like ... us, or something. She always
wanted a daughter, Ko-chan. Can't you give her that chance?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko inhaled sharply, swallowing the tears back. She felt
Ranma's arms around her, holding her closely. She also felt
the doctor's hand on her shoulder, sending her healing
energy.</P>
<p align=left>"I - I can't. Not now. Not yet."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma opened his mouth but Tofu shushed him.</P>
<p align=left>"Come along, Ranko. I'll take you home."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded, allowing the doctor to guide her up and to the
hatch. He allowed her to go first and he turned to Ranma.</P>
<p align=left>"Will she be alright, doc?"</P>
<p align=left>"You know more than I do how emotional she is," he replied,
sighing. "Who knows with her. She's a strong girl, but she's
not completely mature. The possibility of her breaking down
is remote, but the probability of her doing something
dangerous is likely."</P>
<p align=left>"You're saying she's crazy?"</P>
<p align=left>"Not at all," the doctor answered. "But she's emotionally
vulnerable and lonely."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma nodded. "She ... tried to ... you know."</P>
<p align=left>"I see. Don't worry, I'll look after her. How is Akane
doing?"</P>
<p align=left>"Better, just need a little while longer."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu smiled. "If there's ever a problem, you know where I
am."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah ... and take care of Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course I will. She's a special girl."</P>
<p align=left>"I know. See ya, doc."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu waved and slipped down the hatch, thinking about his
diagnosis. Perhaps there was truth in it after all. Then a
better reason to not make odd noises in her direction. She
needn't the advances of an older man ... (Oh, shut up, you
old fool.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The first thing Pantyhose Taro became aware of was the
feeling he had been put through a blender a few times.</P>
<p align=left>Then he realized it was only his brain that had been pureed.</P>
<p align=left>The second thing he became aware of was the stabbing pain in
his gut.
</P>
<p align=left>The third was that the mysterious woman who attended to him
during his post-surgery daze was gone.</P>
<p align=left>He carefully slitted his eyes open, thankful for whatever
person who had kept his room as dark as possible, despite
the light on the other side of the curtain. He heard his fa
- he heard Ichiro Hibiki softly singing an old song about
the sorrows of sake, chuckling to himself.</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up over there," Taro croaked. "I want my sleep and my
brain back."</P>
<p align=left>"Good morning, my son," the senior Hibiki greeted him. "I do
believe Tofu-sensei kept your brain intact."</P>
<p align=left>"Intact enough to scramble it. Where's the lady that visited
me?"</P>
<p align=left>"Kasumi Tendo? Back home."</P>
<p align=left>"Kasumi Tendo?" he repeated the name, racking through the
shattered bits of his brain to remember who she was.</P>
<p align=left>Oh, yes, the quiet Tendo girl who did all the cooking and
cleaning. A pretty, unassuming young woman he only met in
passing. He remembered she never laughed at him - he liked
that.</P>
<p align=left>"Feeling any better, son?" Ichiro asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Like crap," Pantyhose replied. "Thanks for your concern,
Ichiro. Where the hells' that giant pork chop that landed on
me?"
</P>
<p align=left>Hibiki laughed, pulling the curtain aside. "The sumo pig is
being treated for trauma as we speak. So's the little girl
who owns it."</P>
<p align=left>"Little girls should stay out of fights," Pantyhose
commented. "Speaking of little girls, where's that pig-boy
so-called brother of mine?"</P>
<p align=left>"He went to talk with the Amazon girl at the Tendo dojo last
night, but he hasn't been seen since."</P>
<p align=left>"Heh heh heh. Lost Boy gets lost again!"</P>
<p align=left>"Son, please don't be so harsh on him. I worry about him. He
needs to take his medication regularly, and this is not
helping any."</P>
<p align=left>"He'll come around. Always shows up when he's not wanted."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro sighed, laying back on his pillows. "But something
puzzles me."</P>
<p align=left>"Hell, your problem."</P>
<p align=left>"But you may help in this answer, since you have had a
Jusenkyo Curse all your life."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose sighed. "Shoot, old man," he said, turning over to
meet him eye to eye.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga just started his medication that morning, and it
takes several days for it to start to take effect."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, so? He's nutty."</P>
<p align=left>"May I politely tell you to shut up, son?"</P>
<p align=left>"I'll *un*-politely tell you to shove it."</P>
<p align=left>Hibiki sighed, too tired to argue. "The point I'm getting at
is that Ryoga appears to have the effect of the medication
working on him almost immediately."</P>
<p align=left>"Really."</P>
<p align=left>"Last night he was calm and rational."</P>
<p align=left>"He changed to his pig-form and back after taking it?" the
monster-boy asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, immediately after."</P>
<p align=left>"That explains it," he replied, turning over.</P>
<p align=left>"I don't understand," Ichiro asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Listen, Ichiro, he turns into a mini-slab of bacon. That
means whatever dose of medication you put in him in his
larger form will have a stronger effect. He's able to
metabolize it faster due to the action of the curse
activation."</P>
<p align=left>"So, the curse speeded it through his system?"</P>
<p align=left>"Exactly. I use the opposite effect to get rid of hangovers;
changing into my other form and back. So, you need to find
the bacon-bit again and keep his medicine going."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro smiled, reaching over to pat to his eldest son's arm.
"You always had a sharp mind. I'm proud you are my son."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose pressed his lips together, denying he ever wanted
to hear those words. "Whatever, Ichiro. Hey, doc! When can I
get out of here?? I got places to go, people to hunt down!"</P>
<p align=left>Hibiki sighed and looked up to the ceiling. Being a real
father was harder than he thought. (One son that hates me,
another who is missing, and another who'll never know me.
And another two that may or may not be mine. Not to mention
the rest. For some reason, so many of my children have
ended up in Nerima. How'd that happen?)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari stormed into the Nekohanten, waving a handful of
photographs around that she had purchased from Nabiki Tendo
that morning for a total of five thousand yen.</P>
<p align=left>"Who is this Shampoo?!" she demanded. "My Ryoga-sama is
being molested by this purple-headed tart!"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne hopped out to see what the disturbance was. She
squinted at the girl, reading her energy patterns for a
moment.</P>
<p align=left>(Very, very, VERY strange aura this child has. Some sort of
emotional disturbance. An obstacle in the path of my grand-
daughter's happiness with the Hibiki boy. Must be taken care
of - but Shampoo has decided to handle matters herself.
Leave it to her then.)</P>
<p align=left>"What do you want of my great-granddaughter?"</P>
<p align=left>"I've come to tell her to keep her dirty hands off my
boyfriend!"</P>
<p align=left>"*Your* boyfriend? Child, he has been chosen by the Goddess
to be the husband and consort of my great-granddaughter."</P>
<p align=left>"Over my dead body!" Akari shrieked, shoving the pictures in
the old woman's face. "Look at that! She's all over my poor
Ryoga! Waaaahhhhhh!!!"</P></P>
<p align=left>Cologne studied the pictures and smiled, seeing her
descendant had the boy firmly in her grasp - in more ways
than one. (Doing a better job with Hibiki than she did with
Saotome.)</P>
<p align=left>She cleared her throat and said, "If you wish to speak with
her, she is at the Nerima Clinic. She is there to talk with
Ryoga Hibiki's father."</P>
<p align=left>"What?? No!!" Akari charged out of the restaurant, dashing
towards the clinic. "I'll save you, Ryoga-sama!"</P>
<p align=left>The Amazon matriarch smiled, chuckling to herself. (Let the
games begin!)</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga Hibiki had intended to go straight home after he
escaped the close encounter with Shampoo the night before.</P>
<p align=left>But, he became lost after he jumped out of the window,
wandering around during the night. He was pleased to know he
was still in Nerima when the morning dawned, recognizing the
high school.</P>
<p align=left>He noted the figures of Ranko Saotome and Doctor Tofu
leaping from the gym block to the top of the clock tower,
then off to the rooftops, but didn't feel like calling out
to them to talk. He was still thinking.</P>
<p align=left>He spent all night thinking. It was an odd feeling in his
head, in which he was able to think from point A to point B
without point C interrupting his path. He wondered if the
medication had taken effect already. If it had, it would
explain his ability to think on more than one track.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo was the warmest, most intelligent, wonderful girl he
had ever known. She was nice and cuddly, funny and sweet. He
wasn't sure why he never noticed these traits in her before.</P>
<p align=left>(Because I was in love with Akane,) he reminded himself.</P>
<p align=left>Ouch.</P>
<p align=left>But, she tried to corner him, even got him to kiss her. It
scared him. Her power over his desires scared him.</P>
<p align=left>He always prided himself on being a gentleman, of never
taking advantage of a girl (excepting Akane - a circumstance
which he found harder to rationalize all the time) and never
hurting one (again, excepting Akane).</P>
<p align=left>So, what does a gentleman do when an extremely sensual and
beautiful woman enters his life, determined to love him and
marry him?</P>
<p align=left>He panics, by jumping out of windows and running off into
the night.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga paused in front of a building and banged his head
against the door, causing it to open in. He fell face first
on the floor.</P>
<p align=left>Delicate hands picked him up, murmuring soothing words in
Cantonese. He looked up to find Shampoo with the baby
strapped to her chest.</P>
<p align=left>"Hi, Shampoo. I'm sorry for running out like I did. Where
are we?"</P>
<p align=left>"Tofu clinic, silly!" she smiled, running her hands over his
face. "{I was worried about you leaving the way you did. I'm
sorry for pushing you too far before you were ready.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I don't know what I want, Shampoo.}" Ryoga answered in
badly-accented Cantonese. "{It's so sudden.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I know, Ryoga. Your father has been worried about you
being gone.}"</P>
<p align=left>The baby gurgled, pawing at her breast. The Amazon laughed.</P>
<p align=left>"Man, Happosai reverts to his usual behavior!" Ryoga
exclaimed, carefully taking the infant's arm away (and
careful to avoid touching her breast as well).</P>
<p align=left>She felt her body tense, then she smiled. "{Actually, that's
a baby's way of wanting milk. But Chibi-Happi cannot have
milk.}" she giggled, touching her nose to the baby's,
drifting into baby-talk. "{Oh, no, he can't. He must have
cool formula so he won't drink any hot liquid and turn back
into a nasty pervert again.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{What are you going to do - keep him from drinking anything
hot his entire life?}" Ryoga asked.</P>
<p align=left>"{No,}" Shampoo answered. "{Just a year and a day. Then
he'll be locked in one form.}"</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" Ryoga exclaimed in surprise.</P>
<p align=left>"{That's the cure - stay in one form for a year and a day,
and you stay in that form for life.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga was surprised, to say the least. (That simple? But -)
"{How the hell do you do *that*? With goldfish salesmen and
breaking water pipes around every corner?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{In the Amazon village, an elder uses the hibernation
shiatsu point to put a victim in a coma, then keep them in a
dry vault until the time's up. Minimizes the risk of
transformation.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Sounds simple enough. They have a dry vault open?"}v
<p align=left>She shook her head. "{It's risky. The victim has to be
tended like any coma victim - intravenous feeding and so on.
With the same effects. Muscles atrophy. Nerves deteriorate.
In any case, when using the hibernation point that long, a
person may never wake up, or die.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga shuddered. "{Perhaps later.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo smiled. "{I feel the same way. Being stuck on a
shelf for a year just doesn't appeal to me. If something's
going to cripple or kill me, I want to see it coming, maybe
get in the first bite.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga smiled, then sobered. "Is Dad still here?" he asked,
switching back to Japanese.</P>
<p align=left>"{Yes. He and I were just talking. He's been worried about
you.}"</P>
<p align=left>"Gomen nasai," he whispered, touching her cheek. "I just had
to think."</P>
<p align=left>"{Have you decided?}" she asked expectantly.</P>
<p align=left>"Not yet. Where's Dad?"</P>
<p align=left>"{I'll take you to his room,}" she replied softly, taking
his hand in hers. She felt Chibi-Happi settle against her
breast in a nap.</P>
<p align=left>(This is what it is to be complete,) she mused, feeling
child against her chest and mate's hand in her own.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari entered the clinic in a rage, looking around the
lobby. A redheaded girl - Ranko, Ranma's sister, she
recalled meeting her last night - appeared from the back,
holding a pot of tea.</P>
<p align=left>"May I help you?"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm looking for an Amazon by the name of Shampoo! Where is
that relationship-wrecking tramp?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko raised an eyebrow. She heard Shampoo called a lot of
things, from 'retarded gaijin' to 'top-heavy slut', but this
was the first she ever heard of 'relationship-wrecking'. (Oh,
it's that weird pig-girl that's obsessed with Ryoga - Akari.
Probably heard about him and Shampoo.)</P>
<p align=left>"In the Hibiki room, with Ryoga and his family."</P>
<p align=left>"RYOGA-SAMA! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU!" Akari screeched as she
ran down a hallway.</P>
<p align=left>"Um, Akari-san? They're at the other end of the clinic, Room
five-A."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato!" Akari shouted as she ran past her again.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko shook her head, setting the teapot down on the warmer.
"What a dip. Shampoo is going to snap-kick her into orbit."</P>
<p align=left>Akari burst into the Hibiki room, seeing her Ryoga-sama
sitting on one side of his father's bed and the Amazon
sitting on the other side, both their hands being held by
the senior Hibiki.</P>
<p align=left>"What do you think you're doing with Ryoga-sama?" she
intimated, waving the scandalous photographs around.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked up at her in surprise, then narrowed her eyes
at her. "Hush! You wake baby!"</P>
<p align=left>"Baby?!?" Akari repeated, now noticing the bundle attached
to Shampoo's chest. A tiny blonde infant napped peacefully.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes. Shampoo mother. Must marry Ryoga right away," she
explained, her face brightening. (Take that, you stupid pig-
obsessed little girl.)</P>
<p align=left>Akari's mouth opened wide in a wail that broke the room's
window. "WAAAAAHHHHH!!! RYOGA-SAMA!! HOW COULD YOU?!?" She
ran out of the room, sobbing hysterically.</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?!?!?" Pantyhose asked as he facefaulted out of bed.
"You're telling me you two ... ?!" He looked over at
Ichiro. "Like father like son, eh, Ichiro?"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro felt a sweatdrop form at his temple, worried about
having an illegitimate grandson - then remembered that he,
of all people, couldn't say a damn thing. "I'll be, son. I
thought you were too shy ... "</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga, freshly medicated, blushed furiously, feeling his
ears get hotter and hotter. "No, we didn't! Chibi-Happi is
not my baby!"</P>
<p align=left>"Chibi-Happi?" Pantyhose snorted. "What kind of stupid name
is that?"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stuck her tongue out at him. "Happosai not proper
name for baby."</P>
<p align=left>"Happosai?" he echoed, lightbulb flash. *That's* Happosai?
*My* Happosai???"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes," Shampoo said proudly. "Ranma and Ranko change him to
baby, and Shampoo adopt."</P>
<p align=left>Both Doctor Tofu and Ranko had to be called in to strap
Pantyhose down before he could hurt himself or anyone else.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Several hours later, Pantyhose had been calmed down with
assistance from Kasumi, whom Ichiro called and Ranko
discreetly brought in to not disturb the doctor (she had a
talent for that sort of thing). Shampoo took Chibi-Happi
home as Ryoga had a serious talk with his father, who was
just released.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko updated patient records for the day at her desk during
a lull in the action. Her mind wandered over the problem
concerning Tofu and Kasumi.</P>
<p align=left>She felt him approach down the hall, not even bothering to
hide his presence. She looked up and smiled as he walked up
to her desk.</P>
<p align=left>"Anything I can do for you, Tofu-sensei?" she asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Perhaps ... " he leaned down to meet her eyes. "There is a
service I can perform ... *on* you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" she asked intelligently, leaning back from him. The
look in his eyes scared her a little, causing her heart to
beat in a frenzy.</P>
<p align=left>His arm brushed everything off her desk and onto the floor,
crashing and shattering, papers flying through the air. He
picked her up out of her seat and lay her across the desk,
pressing his body down on hers.</P>
<p align=left>"Sensei! What are you doing?!" she cried, his hands
squeezing her breasts and his pelvis grinding against hers.</P>
<p align=left>"I've wanted your sweet body for a long while, Ko-chan ... "
he murmured, dancing his warm lips across her throat.</P>
<p align=left>She felt her body involuntarily press up to his, a moan
escaping from her lips ...</P>
<p align=left>"Excuse me," a soft voice interrupted her daydream.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko shook her mind awake to focus on the black-cloaked
figure in front of her. The being was quite tall, the face
covered by a hood. Its gloved right hand held a scythe.</P>
<p align=left>"Um, yes? May I help you?"</P>
<p align=left>"I am here to see Doctor Tofu."</P>
<p align=left>Her eyes widened. *Death* wanted the doctor? She flipped
through the appointment book and sighed with relief to
herself. "Yes, here you are, eight-fifteen. Tofu-sensei will
be out shortly, Reaper-san."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato ... "</P>
<p align=left>Ranko sighed, going back to analyze her daydream. (Where did
*that* come from?) she wondered, feeling her cheeks blush.
(As if I need to taint Ono Tofu with my sloppy desires and
raw virginity. It'll scare the poor man. On other hand, it's
not a bad idea. On the other hand, it is a bad idea.
Although I wish his hand was on me, instead. Argh, shut up,
you stupid girl!)</P>
<p align=left>She sighed again, going back to the files in front of her,
murmuring her shame to herself.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(That evening)</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane lay closely together, cuddling in the semi-
darkness offered by a single candle. The night was cool, and
both delighted in the warmth of the blanket and each other's
warm bodies.</P>
<p align=left>They held each other silently, thinking their own thoughts.
Thinking of the outside world and it's responsibilities and
rules and the Old Bastards forcing them to marry.</P>
<p align=left>At least that's what Akane thought, feeling Ranma's strong,
protective arms around her. Her secret dream had become
reality, the one in which she and Ranma were alone at last,
the world completely gone save the one where they alone
existed.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma-sama? What are you thinking?"</P>
<p align=left>He sighed, resting his cheek against her forehead. "Things."</P>
<p align=left>"Like?"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm worried about Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>She held him tighter. "You said Doctor Tofu promised to look
after her."</P>
<p align=left>"That's the weirdest thing of all, my tomboy. Ko-chan never
needed to be looked after. She always looked after me."</P>
<p align=left>Akane bit her lip, thinking on it. "Perhaps that's part of
her being her, always needing somebody to love and be loved
by. That's part of how she was born, right?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah. But she's always been stronger than me."</P>
<p align=left>She wrapped her arms around his neck, making him meet her
eyes. "Listen to me, my darling baka - both of you are
equally strong. Hers is different than yours. And I know
Doctor Tofu is a very strong man."</P>
<p align=left>"What are you saying?" he asked, confused.</P>
<p align=left>"I've got a feeling that the good doctor will be able to be
the strength she needs."</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan and the Doc?" Ranma chuckled. "That'd be like -
like Kasumi and Pantyhose!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane shook her head, smiling. "You never know, Ranma-
hentai."</P>
<p align=left>"Hey! Leggo of that!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh! How lovely! Must be taken care of right away!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi hummed happily to herself as she changed into her
sleeping gown, glowing in a dreamy sense of bliss.</P>
<p align=left>"Now, what are you all happy about, oneechan?" Ranko asked
her as she entered their room, clad only in undergarments,
fresh from the bath.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, nothing ... " Kasumi sashayed around the bed to the
dressing table, taking her hair out of her ribbon, still
humming.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on, Kasumi-chan," Ranko giggled, hugging her around
the shoulders. "Obviously some boy has caught your fancy."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my, whatever gave you that idea, Ko-chan?" she stared
at her though the mirror.</P>
<p align=left>"Because your aura is all pink and happy and, dare I say,
has the tinge of crush," the redhead answered, pulling on a
pair of Ranma's boxers and one of her tank tops. "So, tell
your little sister who it is."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi giggled, brushing out her long dark hair. "Nothing
much, really. You know, Taro-san has quite an interesting
mind once he starts talking."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko paused from unwrapping the towel around her hair.
"Pantyhose Taro actually ... talks to you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Mm-hm," Kasumi confirmed, a smile playing around her lips.
"We had a very nice talk this afternoon. A little rough
around the edges, but quite insightful. He's had a very hard
life."</P>
<p align=left>The younger girl thought it over and nodded. "So have most
all of us. So, what's the attraction?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi turned to face her, shrugging. "I don't really know.
I could say that he *is* quite good-looking with a sharp
mind and a sense of himself. He's over the awkwardness of
adolescence, as we are both about the same age."</P>
<p align=left>"Really? I thought he was Niichan's age," she murmured,
combing her hair.</P>
<p align=left>"No, it just appears that way because of his ... lack of
social skills."</P>
<p align=left>"I always figured you'd fall for a nice gentleman, though,"
Ranko remarked, laying across her bed. "Pantyhose Taro was
the last person I'd picture you falling for. Does he know?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi got up and slipped into her own bed, turning over to
talk. "No, I don't think so. It's so hard to tell with men,
since they dither about it so. You know how men can be; he
gives out all the wrong signals and get a girl's hopes up,
only to smash her heart into a million pieces when he starts
dating the girl's best friend."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko chuckled at the irony. "I take it high school wasn't
that good for you."</P>
<p align=left>"It was horrible for me, but I really didn't have that much
time to think about dating anyway, since I had to run the
house. Taro knows of the same type of loneliness, the same
fear. We respect each other, that's all that really
matters." She turned over and turned out the light.</P>
<p align=left>"Oneechan?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes?"</P>
<p align=left>"Never mind, good night."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki listened for the sounds in the house, listening to
hear if everyone was finally asleep. She waited a few
moments for Ranko's snoring (every bit as annoying as
Ranma's) to begin, then she slipped out of bed.</P>
<p align=left>She had already dressed in her 'ninja' outfit - black shirt
and trousers - and already had her camera loaded and ready
to go. She had a Mission, and the promise of a big chunk of
yen made her mind reel.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki drifted quietly down the stairs, then left the house
and raced through the streets toward the clinic. She looked
up to the second floor, seeing the light still burning in
Doctor Tofu's private apartment. She scaled the fire escape
of the building next door and settled on one of the
balconies looking into the open window.</P>
<p align=left>She stared in surprise, seeing the doctor performing tai
chi. Of course she had seen many martial artists perform tai
chi (living in a house of them, it was be par for the
course), but she was taken aback by Tofu's command of the
art.</P>
<p align=left>He was without his glasses, as well as being shirtless and
wearing only boxers, his non-scholarly, tightly muscled body
flowing through the forms more easily than water. He exuded
serenity and peace, moving in a sacred dance of body mingled
with spirit.</P>
<p align=left>She remembered to wipe the drool from her chin, scolding
herself for being unprofessional. She now understood why
Akane fell for him like a metric ton of bricks, and how Ko-
chan was blushing.</P>
<p align=left>She marveled at what a fantastic subject he was to
photograph, how each frame though her lens turned out
perfect.</P>
<p align=left>(Damn, you're such a hogtie for an old man! If Ko-Chan and
Kasumi don't snap you up ...) She was going to charge Ko-
chan extra for these, her best project yet.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki watched as he finished, staring as he approached the
window to close it. Then she caught her breath as he leaned
out.</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki-chan," he commented casually, "You really must be a
less obvious voyeur."</P>
<p align=left>She did the first thing that came to mind: she meowed,
pretending to be a cat.</P>
<p align=left>The doctor chuckled, blushing, "That's rather pathetic. Good
night." And he shut the window and drew the shade.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki climbed down, grumbling about his awareness
sharpening since she last took pictures. (I'm definitely
charging that damn redhead twice the usual sum for this.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Tatewaki Kuno rested yet again, having just yesterday been
on the receiving end of a ki-blast that was more painful
than usual.</P>
<p align=left>He swore and fumed, demanding to the Gods to know why the
Red-haired Goddess determined him, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High, to not be man enough for her.</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke apologized again to the visitor, leading her into the
inner sanctum of his master's room.</P>
<p align=left>"Ah, Nabiki Tendo," Kuno dipped his head slightly. "I see
you are here to speak with me."</P>
<p align=left>(Stow it, cutie-patootie. I'm not in the mood for your
mouth.) "I've brought more pictures of the redhead for you."</P>
<p align=left>Kuno lit up (a short spark, sure, but what do you want from
a Kuno?). He sat completely up and reached for the package
she held. "At last, beauty forever mine!"</P>
<p align=left>"Uh-uh," the Tendo girl snatched it out of his reach. "Fork
over the cash, Kuno-baby, then you'll get them."</P>
<p align=left>He grumbled, snapping his fingers. Sasuke appeared next to
his bed, holding a money-purse.</P>
<p align=left>"How much?"</P>
<p align=left>"Twenty thousand."</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAK???"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki smiled, delighting in his reaction. "Special pics,
baby. With the good stuff showing. There's also a note from
her to you."</P>
<p align=left>Kuno cleared his throat. "Ah, in that case, that can be
worked with. Sasuke."</P>
<p align=left>The ninja opened the purse and counted out twenty thousand
yen most carefully, which Nabiki pocketed. She handed the
package to Kuno.</P>
<p align=left>"You know I hate short good-byes. Sayonara!" She ran out
quickly and silently, not before Kuno caught sight of her
swaying hips, appraising her absently.</P>
<p align=left>He turned back to the package in his hand, ripping the seal
open. He pulled out a single large photograph and an
envelope. He jaw dropped as he looked at the picture:</P>
<p align=left>A smiling Ranko, completely clothed, making an obscene hand
gesture at the camera.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno tore the envelope open and read the following:</P>
<p align=left>"My dear baka-sempai,</P>
<p align=left>May I suggest you sit on it?
You'll never be man enough
for me. Give it up.
Never yours,
RANKO Saotome"</P>
<p align=left>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" his cry echoed all over the Kuno</P>
estate.
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Elsewhere, two people slept, but nowhere near each other.
She slept in the Tendo home while he slept above the Nerima
clinic. But was it just a dream? ... Or is it really real?</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu was going over a file in his office when Ranko
came in, clad in her usual short skirt and tight blouse. He
looked up.</P>
<p align=left>"Tofu-sensei, I need the ordering form for medical supplies.
I saw them in here when I cleaned your office earlier."</P>
<p align=left>"Right," he spun in his chair, digging through the filing
cabinet next to his desk. "What do we need?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko hitched her leg up on his desk casually as if nothing
were wrong with it, as she began to name off the list.
"Thirty mil syringes with needles, another box of surgical
gloves ... "</P>
<p align=left>He turned, form in hand, then gasped as he realized at his
angle he could see under her skirt - and know she wasn't
wearing any panties. He stared transfixed at her womanhood,
as she ignored his reaction and continued reading the
remainder of the list.</P>
<p align=left>At last she looked up, seeing him in near shock. "Tofu-
sensei?"</P>
<p align=left>"Whu?"</P>
<p align=left>She pressed her hips forward. "Do you expect me to do *all*
the work?"</P>
<p align=left>"Of course not," he replied, leaning forward. "This must be
a shared task ... " His lips touched her flesh and kissed
her most intimately ...</P>
<p align=left>"Aaaarrhhh!" (THUNK)</P>
<p align=left>"Yaaaaarrrrhhh!" (THUD)v</P>
<p align=left>Ranko rolled over on her back on the floor, panting, trying
to kick-start her sleep-addled conscious.</P>
<p align=left>A few block away, Tofu sat up on the floor, banging his head
against the bed frame. "Damned - " (THWACK) " - sub - "
(CLANG) " - conscious!"</P>
<p align=left>She shakily crawled back up on her bed, tightening the
blanket closer around her body to stop her trembling.
Whatever happened, it wasn't just in her head.</P>
<p align=left>Exhausted and with a headache, Tofu crawled to his bath for
yet another cold shower.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Eight</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki stumbled into the dark home, tired from her busy
schedule and the lateness of the hour.</P>
<p align=left>As she made her way to the stairs, she was suddenly swept
off her feet by an unseen force and slammed against the
wall.</P>
<p align=left>"Freeze, dead man!" a female voice called out.</P>
<p align=left>"KO-CHAN!" Nabiki cried out.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko got a good look at the dark-clad figure she had
against the wall. "Oh! Biki! Oh gods, Biki, I'm so sorry! I
heard someone and I -"</P>
<p align=left>"That's alright, Ranko," Nabiki said. "Could you let go?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oops. Gomen nasai," the redhead said, letting go of her.
"What are you doing coming in at this hour?"</P>
<p align=left>"Business."</P>
<p align=left>"This late?" Ranko raised an eyebrow. "You mean you'll do
*that* for money?"</P>
<p align=left>"Watch it, girl," Nabiki snarled playfully. "Even I have my
limits."</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, I was going to raid the 'fridge - got some butter
brickle ice cream. Wanna share?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki smiled. "Why not?"</P>
<p align=left>Soon, the two girls were seated in the kitchen, destroying a
liter of ice cream.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked over Ranko in the light. "Does Ranma know
you're wearing his underwear? More importantly, does Akane?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stuck her tongue out. "Who do you think gave them to
me?" She chuckled. "And Akane's not worried about me getting
into Ranma's underwear, believe me. In fact," she giggled,
"She offered him, but Ranma panicked too much. The wimp."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko described her visit to Ranma and Akane that morning,
omitting only a few details. Nabiki got quite a few chuckles
out of Ranma's embarrassment.</P>
<p align=left>"And Ono-kun got a good look at Akane's aura, and he says
she's healing very well, and should be ready to come home in
a few days."</P>
<p align=left>"That's good, Imouto-chan's really - 'Ono-kun'?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko blushed. "I meant 'Tofu-sensei'! Nothing else!
Honest!"</P>
<p align=left>"Mmm-hmm," Nabiki replied, a smirk on her lips. "Y'know, you
sound like Ranma denying he felt anything for Akane."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko's blush brightened. "I'm not saying that! I ...
respect him. He's a gentleman - he's a doctor, he's -"</P>
<p align=left>"A hottie?"</P>
<p align=left>"- a hot- NO!" Ranko protested.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki tossed a brace of photos on the table; the good
doctor doing his kata earlier that evening. "I disagree,"
she said, taking another spoonful of ice cream.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked at the pictures, a thin sheen of sweat suddenly
appearing on her forehead. "Nice - nice form. The kata, I
mean. Well-executed," she said with a husky voice, her hand
rubbing the back of her neck.</P>
<p align=left>"Fresh from the all-night developer. Yours for the low, low
price of a thousand each, five thousand for the set."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked startled. "I just started work, Biki! I haven't
got that kind of money!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki thought of the obscene fortune Ranma was due to
inherit, and how Ranko would probably get a cut. "I'll give
you credit. This time."</P>
<p align=left>The redhead reached out and gently touched a photo, tracing
her finger over the image of her employer. She couldn't deny
that ache in her breasts. She snatched her hand back and
lowered her eyes.</P>
<p align=left>"Biki?"</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah?"</P>
<p align=left>"I have a confession."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki raised her eyebrow, leaning forward. "About the doc,
huh?"</P>
<p align=left>"Kinda ... " Ranko shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "The
reason I'm up right now is because ... oh, geez, how do I
explain this? ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Take your time, Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Okay," she breathed deeply, stirring her melting ice cream.
"I just had one of ... *those* dreams about him."</P>
<p align=left>"One of *those* dreams?" Nabiki repeated.</P>
<p align=left>"You know, a ... close encounter ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Of the erotic kind, hm?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko only nodded, blushing furiously.</P>
<p align=left>"You know you don't have to act shy around me - "</P>
<p align=left>(The hells I don't, Biki! I'm flying by the seat of my skirt
by admitting this!)</P>
<p align=left>" - truth be told, Ko-chan, I have them often myself about
somebody else we both know."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh?" Ranko looked up. "Who?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki smiled crookedly, deciding if she should really make
a face or not. "Tatewaki Kuno."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko was silent for a moment, letting it sink in. "Him?
Baka-sempai?" Ranko did make a face.</P>
<p align=left>The brunette nodded apologetically. "Almost every other
night. Kinda freaked me out at first, but I've always liked
the idea of a good-looking rich idiot breaking in my window,
falling on me, and we'd spend the night making some music."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko giggled. "That's how it happens in yours?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah. I guess that's why I'm less tolerant of him in wake
time - because he's not the sex-starved man he is in my
dreams."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko giggled.</P>
<p align=left>"Okay," Nabiki said snidely. "Just not with *me*! Anyway, a
handsome idiot with a crapload of money as my personal sex
slave ... that's my dream. How about you? Is this the first?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well, first sleeping dream. We were in his office. Some
other daydreams, around the clinic or the dojo. But I don't
understand, why him?"</P>
<p align=left>The older girl chuckled. "Why the doctor? Why Kuno? Why any
of them at all? Why not faceless strangers? Who knows? We're
just reacting to something natural. I say go with it. Won't
hurt anybody by having some fun in dreamland."</P>
<p align=left>"Perhaps you're right," Ranko sighed, gazing back down at
the pictures. She studied the doctor's form, his body, his
face. She could just melt into his body in an embrace so
easily.</P>
<p align=left>"Of course I am," Nabiki said positively. "Men are strange
the world over, that's what make the dreams better. Besides
... " she cupped her new sister's chin up to look her in the
eye. "The chances are pretty slim of anything coming out of
it. He's madly in love with Kasumi. Akane had to find out
the hard way."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko bit her lip, lowering her eyes. "It's different this
time, both of them have ... moved on."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?"</P>
<p align=left>"Why do you think he's been trying to avoid Kasumi-
oneechan?"</P>
<p align=left>(piku-piku) "Explain."</P>
<p align=left>"I got a good look at Ono's aura when Kasumi came in earlier
today. When a person's in love, they have a bright gold
glow. Even a crush shows a trace. There was none in Ono's."</P>
<p align=left>"None?" Nabiki asked, refilling her bowl. "But why does he
go nuts, then?"</P>
<p align=left>"His aura seemed to be convulsing - heaving. I looked up the
reaction I saw in an old text on aura reading in the clinic
library, and it seems to be a sort of epileptic seizure."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked puzzled. "Epileptic seizures every time Kasumi
is around? Kinda unlikely, isn't it? Are you sure he doesn't
just go loopy?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Ranko answered. "He says he tries to avoid her, that
he resents her coming around. That ain't love."</P>
<p align=left>"Got a point."</P>
<p align=left>"Besides, Kasumi has her eye on someone."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki's eyes widened in surprise. "Who? When? Were puppets
involved? Tell!"</P>
<p align=left>"Pansuto Taro. At the clinic. No puppets that I'm aware of."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked stunned, then laughed. "For a second, I
thought you were serious."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko giggled. (You were warned.)</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(In the morning ...)</P>
<p align=left>Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, legend in
his own mind, waited in the tree, watching as Nabiki and
Ranko walked on toward school. When they were safely down
the street, he dropped to the ground and proceeded toward
the Tendo home.</P>
<p align=left>Normally, he would have sent Sasuke, his faithful family
retainer, to perform such a plebeian task, but this was too
important.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko Saotome, his Red-haired Goddess, had rejected him as a
suitor, claiming he was not man enough! He could not
comprehend such a thing (probably because it made sense).
There must be some other reason. And he would discover it!</P>
<p align=left>Kuno crept into the back door, then sped up the stairs to
the sleeping quarters. Some of the doors were labeled in
English: Nabiki, Kasumi, Damn-Fool Panda (this one hand-
written).</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke had informed him that Akane's room was labeled with a
wooden duck sign. But there was no such sign; instead, there
was a yin-yang symbol, with 'Ranma' on one side and 'Akane'
on the other, and a handwritten Post-It Note, 'From the
Family'.</P>
<p align=left>The last hope died - Akane, his fierce huntress, belonged to
Ranma Saotome. Bonded by marriage to his mortal enemy.</P>
<p align=left>And his Redheaded Goddess called Saotome ... brother.</P>
<p align=left>He would find what he needed! He would prove himself a
worthy suitor to the fair Ranko Saotome! He had lost one
love, he would not lose another!</P>
<p align=left>Newly inspired, the housebreaking Kuno looked in the
unlabeled rooms, seeking the quarters of his Goddess.</P>
<p align=left>One was the master bedroom, another was an unoccupied guest
room. The third was obviously occupied, and littered with
female undergarments ... success!</P>
<p align=left>Kuno quietly entered and scouted the room. He found much
female underwear, a number of photographs of his Redheaded
Goddess, and some small robes, obviously doll's clothes. In
the wardrobe were large numbers of antique objects and a
number of scrolls. One large one was untied, and had every
indication of frequent reading.</P>
<p align=left>He picked it up, and read the title: 'Happosai's School of
Anything-Goes Manly Arts - How To Be A Truly Manly Man'.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno had a flash of insight (or as close as he would ever
get in his lifetime). ('School of Anything-Goes' ... YES!!
Akane and Ranko *both* practice Anything-Goes Martial Arts,
as does Ranma! They must adjudge manliness by the standards
of their school!)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno tucked the scroll into his tunic and departed through
the window, then he jumped off the roof and headed for the
front gate.</P>
<p align=left>(I know what I must do!) he thought to himself, the words
echoing with majestic destiny (or just echoing in the empty
spaces). (I will study the scroll and learn its secrets! I
will become the greatest practitioner of Anything-Goes Manly
Arts! I will be so manly, Ranko Saotome will gladly give
herself to me!)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno missed school that day. </P>
<p align=left>And there was much rejoicing.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The two tired girls walked through the school gates, several
of the students approaching Nabiki and whispering furtively
with her, asking about photographs or whatnot of this or
that person. Her usual trade.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko smiled at one of Ranma's old buddies, Hiroshi, she
remembered from his memories, and he quickly made a run into
the school building. She paused, wondering what got into
him, then she turned and spotted two of the hentais that
tried to fight her a while ago.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, guys," she waved.</P>
<p align=left>One, a member of the dance club, grabbed the other guy and
quickly waltzed off with him, both with panic on their
faces. She raised an eyebrow in puzzlement, and decided to
go into class.</P>
<p align=left>She had an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't
know why.</P>
<p align=left>As she entered the building, she passed a group of girls
chatting in the hallway. They quieted, lowering their voices
as she passed. Unfortunately, her sharp hearing picked up
what they said loud and clear.
<p align=left>
"There goes that guy hater."</P>
<p align=left>"She's got to be a lez."</P>
<p align=left>"Too violent. Even Akane wasn't as bad."</P>
<p align=left>"Stuck up bitch."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, our guys aren't good enough for you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Never have a boyfriend, never marry."</P>
<p align=left>"At least Ranma was nicer than her."</P>
<p align=left>"And she dresses like a SLUT!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko paused at the end of the hall. The last one stung the
worst, like a serrated knife in her back. She stared at the
wall in front of her, unaware of anything else but their
words echoing through her mind.</P>
<p align=left>(Jealous little girls ... ) she told herself, buttoning a
few more buttons of her blouse.</P>
<p align=left>"Look out! It's Ranko Saotome!"</P>
<p align=left>A thundering stampede erupted from the second floor above
her as students ran to their classes.</P>
<p align=left>She never noticed it before until now. The students who
stared, the ones who gave her a wide berth in the hallway,
why Nabiki was her only lunch companion ...</P>
<p align=left>(They're afraid of me ... )</P>
<p align=left>"They're afraid of me ... " she whispered aloud.</P>
<p align=left>She slowly climbed the stairs, feeling suddenly, utterly,
completely alone in the universe.</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(Ring-ring-ring)</P>
<p align=left>"Moshi-moshi?" Kasumi answered in her sweet voice.</P>
<p align=left>"Nodoka there?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes," she lied.</P>
<p align=left>(click)</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi hung up and smiled to herself. Genma calling yet
again to see if his wife was waiting for him to turn him
into a pincushion for 'losing' their son and future
daughter-in-law. Serves him right for treating Ranma like he
did - abusing him for years, then trying to swindle him out
of his inheritance!</P>
<p align=left>(Ring-ring-ring)</P>
<p align=left>"Moshi-moshi?" she answered again.</P>
<p align=left>"Hello, Kasumi, Auntie Nodoka here. Is Ranko at school?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, why do you ask?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hinako-sensei had called me to arrange for the interview,
and I'd like to warn Ranko ahead of time that we must be in
the same room for about an hour and be polite."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my!" Kasumi breathed. "Yes, I'll tell her. Which house
will Hinako-sensei meet you at?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yours, dear, since Ranko is living with her ... father ...
Have you heard from Genma at all?"</P>
<p align=left>"Not recently. He's been gallivanting around at all the sake
houses with Otosan ... "</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka sighed, ignoring the hand on her thigh. "Then I guess
I'll have to conduct the interview myself. I'll talk with
you later, Kasumi."</P>
<p align=left>"All right, Auntie Nodoka. See you later."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka hung up and lay back down on her bed. Ichiro hugged
her tightly around her waist, nuzzling her hair.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm scared, Ichiro-kun."</P>
<p align=left>"It won't be bad, my darling woman," he murmured. "You said
she is warming to the fact you are her mother."</P>
<p align=left>"But not enough for this."</P>
<p align=left>"Trust me, No-chan. The children may have tempers, but they
have inborn honor in them that will always come through."</P>
<p align=left>"My children got that from you," she stated, turning over to
kiss his face.</P>
<p align=left>"Partially. Ranko reminds me of you all those years ago.
Strong and idealistic."</P>
<p align=left>"Now a broken old bag," she sniffed.</P>
<p align=left>"No, a very well-kept bag," he chuckled, kissing her throat.
"Just perfectly ripened, like the finest sake."</P>
<p align=left>She giggled, embracing him.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Screw it, Tofu. I'm leaving."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu sighed at the hard-headedness of the boy with the
unfortunate name of Pantyhose. Considering who his father
was, and guessing at the harsh childhood he must have had
because of Happosai's actions, he wasn't surprised that the
young man had both a temper and a stubborn streak.</P>
<p align=left>"Very well, Taro-san. You are well enough to leave, but you
should take a few days - preferably longer - to rest. This
was a significant injury. Even your other form can't absorb
the impact of nearly three tons of pig without
consequences."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose waved it off. "Don't worry, doc. My other form
regenerates; I'll sleep in my other form, and I'll be just
fine in just a couple of days."</P>
<p align=left>"I wasn't aware of this," Tofu commented, curiosity in his
voice.</P>
<p align=left>"I think it comes from the octopus blood."</P>
<p align=left>"Where will you be? Your family home?"</P>
<p align=left>"Eh?" Pantyhose said, before remembering that he *did* have
a 'family home'. "No, not enough room - not to mention it's
kinda wrecked. I'll just sleep on the bottom of the canal.
Less chance of changing accidentally."</P>
<p align=left>"Bottom of the canal?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah - eel and octopus blood, remember? I can breathe
water, too."</P>
<p align=left>"Interesting. But hardly sanitary."</P>
<p align=left>"Ha! The bug doesn't exist that can live in my other form."</P>
<p align=left>"Fascinating," Tofu commented.</P>
<p align=left>"By the way, doc," Pantyhose asked casually. "I'm not that
familiar with Nerima. Would you know how to get to the Tendo
place from here?"</P>
<p align=left>"It's just about two hundred meters up the road," he
answered. "You aren't hunting anyone there, are you?"</P>
<p align=left>"No, not really. Just getting my bearings." The image of a
gently-smiling Kasumi Tendo crossed his mind. He'd never
really been close with any girl; the humiliation of having
to introduce himself as 'Pantyhose Boy' had been sufficient
to prevent that.</P>
<p align=left>But Kasumi Tendo was different. She treated him well, even
with knowing his name. She felt ... comfortable. It was easy
to relax around her, something he never could feel, even
with his mother.</P>
<p align=left>"Well," the doctor commented. "Just try to avoid getting hit
in the stomach until it heals. The stitches will be absorbed
by your skin as you heal."</P>
<p align=left>"How do I repay you, doc?"</P>
<p align=left>(A much-younger Pantyhose had learned the First Rule; 'There
Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch'. Breaking the First
Rule had taught the Second Rule; 'Don't Leave Unpaid Bills
Behind You - You May Have To Come Back Someday'.)</P>
<p align=left>"No need. Ichiro will cover it."</P>
<p align=left>"You know my dad?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh yes. We met while I was traveling, and we became well-
acquainted. Got into a bit of trouble, too."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose smirked. "My dad - getting into trouble? The guy
who was such a hardass about 'respecting your elders' and
'don't throw boulders at the neighbors'?"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu smiled. "Your father is something of a magnet for such
things. In fact, from seeing his children, I'd say it's
hereditary."</P>
<p align=left>"Ha ha. See ya, doc."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose set off for the Tendo home, wondering if Kasumi
was there. (Just to say his goodbyes before he left. That's
all. Nothing else.)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(At a hotel ...)
</P>
<p align=left>Akari sobbed into her pillow yet again.</P>
<p align=left>Her world had fallen apart. Her beloved baby Katsunishiki
was in intensive care from being injured by that monster,
now her Ryoga-sama had been used for the depraved pleasures
of a gaijin whore and cornered with a baby!</P>
<p align=left>"Psst!"</P>
<p align=left>She continued sobbing, ignoring the small noise.</P>
<p align=left>"PSST!"
</P>
<p align=left>The boy outside her window sighed, still no reaction from
the girl.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Pig-Girl!"</P>
<p align=left>She yelped, jumping up. "Who are you? Help! Pervert!"</P>
<p align=left>"Shh!" Mousse covered his lips to tell her to shush. "I've
come to make a deal with you."</P>
<p align=left>"Rapist!"</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up! You want Ryoga, na?"</P>
<p align=left>She quieted down, sniffling. "Can you get my Ryoga-sama back
for me?"</P>
<p align=left>"Possibly. Shampoo has been mine forever now he's taken her
away from me."</P>
<p align=left>"Nonsense! She exploited him."</P>
<p align=left>Mousse sighed, realizing how crazy she really was. "Listen,
little girl, their being together is hurting us, so we've
got to make them know that we are their true loves, not each
other."</P>
<p align=left>Akari scratched her head. "I don't follow."</P>
<p align=left>(Dumb as cabbage, too.) "We've got to work together to pry
them apart so you can have the Lost Boy and I can have my
Shampoo."</P>
<p align=left>"Ohhhhhh ... " Akari's smile grew, and she leaned out the
window to hug his neck. "Arigato!"</P>
<p align=left>"Okay, okay. Here's the plan ... "</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose glanced at the Tendo dojo for a second as he
waited for the door to be answered.</P>
<p align=left>(Nice place. Never really looked it over before. Interesting
energies. Too bad Fem-Boy lives here - and that butch sister
of his. Ouch.)</P>
<p align=left>The door opened, revealing Kasumi Tendo smiling sweetly. He
felt a slight skip of his heartbeat and he attempted to
smile back.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh!" she blushed, smiling even brighter. "I wasn't
expecting you, dear. Please, come in."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato ... " he replied, feeling a slight blush cross his
cheeks at being called 'dear'. (Damnit, I'm too old to be
behaving like a stupid teenager!) He entered the house and
allowed Kasumi to seat him at the dining room table and
serve him tea.</P>
<p align=left>"What brings you by?" she asked as she poured tea.</P>
<p align=left>He noticed his hands trembling and put them under the table.
"I wanted to thank you for ... helping me recover at the
clinic."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh," she smiled. "It was nothing really. Tea?"</P>
<p align=left>"Please."</P>
<p align=left>He reached out for the cup she handed to him and his fingers
laced over hers. They looked up at each other for a moment,
then he turned away as he took his tea.</P>
<p align=left>"You feel alone, too, don't you?" she asked softly.</P>
<p align=left>He looked back up at her, at her sad face and her neatly
pressed apron and her beautiful long hair.</P>
<p align=left>"Me? Alone?" he chuckled bitterly. "Why, whatever gave you
that idea? I'm the world's ugliest monster and have the
silliest name in Creation to boot. People swarm around me in
admiration."</P>
<p align=left>She lay her hand on his, keeping his eyes to hers. "And I
have been the mother figure for several years, pretending
sweet simpleness in place of loneliness."</P>
<p align=left>He was silent for a moment. "Okay, our lives suck. Cheers."
He raised his tea to her, smiling sarcastically.</P>
<p align=left>"Tell me of your village," she stated, taking her hand back.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose was curious; he'd talked about it at length with
her yesterday. "Nothing much to tell. It's a sinkhole full
of simps and morons, nothing but a sewer and a dump."</P>
<p align=left>"So, you'll never go back there?"</P>
<p align=left>"I love my mother as my mother, but that's it. She doesn't
have the will to live like I do. She wants to rot in that
infested swamp, and I won't argue with her on that, but she
ain't keepin' me there."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi leaned back, delighting in his set up. "If you do not
like your village, why follow its customs?"</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" he leaned forward, staring her in the eyes. "What do
you mean by that?"</P>
<p align=left>"You were named what you were because of this village's
custom. If you hate the village so much, the customs should
be included. Break yourself off completely - change your
name yourself!"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose Taro looked at her, blinking for a moment. He ran
her statement through his brain several dozen times to find
flaw in her reasoning, and he couldn't find any.</P>
<p align=left>(Is *that* all I have to do ... ?)</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi watched a small smile metamorphose into a large one,
enlightenment crossing his handsome face. She smiled as
well.</P>
<p align=left>"I think you're right - damn, I'm getting mellow in my
twenties!" He leapt off his pillow and over the table,
picking her up in his arms and planting a kiss on her lips.
"Thank-you, my Kasumi! You've made me the happiest man in
all of Nerima!"</P>
<p align=left>She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
"I'm glad to be of assistance, my dear."</P>
<p align=left>He kissed her again, feeling his heartbeat pound in a
frenzy. "I have to find another name now, a better name. I
won't be known as 'Pantyhose Boy' any longer!"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi felt a head rush, the type described in her romance
novels. She held him tighter as he lifted her off the floor
and danced with her around the dining room, his happiness
becoming infectious in her laughter. (Just a moment of
happiness between two souls is all I asked, now I can die
happy.)</P>
<p align=left>He placed her back down on the floor and kissed her
forehead. "You are the most wonderful woman in the world,
Kasumi-chan. With all my brains, I couldn't have figured
that out. I guess I was too close to the problem."
<p align=left>"Tradition is an overpowering fact of life," she replied,
caressing his cheek. "Sometimes, it should be broken."</P>
<p align=left>"Especially when happiness is the reward. What shall my new
name be?"</P>
<p align=left>"Since you are the firstborn, perhaps you should be named
Ichiro. The noble families usually name their firstborn sons
Ichiro or Jiro."</P>
<p align=left>"Mm, not Ichiro - it would feel funny. I'll look for a sign
that agrees with me, and then I shall determine my new name.
You are right. Tradition *should* sometimes be broken."</P>
<p align=left>Outside on the porch, Nodoka sat quietly. She hadn't
intended to eavesdrop, but it had happened. She let those
last five words sink in. She had to think about it.</P>
<p align=left>Happiness as the reward of breaking duty and honor ...</P>
<p align=left>"Go along now, dear, and find that sign," Kasumi told him
softly, standing on tip toe to kiss him. He wrapped his arms
around her, delighting in the feel of her mouth on his and
her soft body against his own.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes. I'll see you later, Kasumi-chan."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded, letting him go to rush out the front door. She
leaned against the frame of the dining room porch doorway,
sighing happily to herself.</P>
<p align=left>Of course, his behavior - and hers - wasn't exactly proper.
In fact, it had been decidedly improper, almost scandalous!
But she *liked* his arms ... and his lips ... And it had
been so *long* ...</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka quietly entered, smiling gently.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my, Nodoka-obachan!" Kasumi blushed. "I wasn't aware
you were here already!"</P>
<p align=left>"It's alright, Kasumi," she replied, sitting down at the
table. "I'm glad you're finding some happiness with Ichiro's
eldest son. You see the same thing in him that I've always
seen in his father."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi nodded, sitting across from her. "Yes. A brilliant
mind and quite honorable - if a bit rough around the edges.
And quite ... passionate."</P>
<p align=left>"But, like the rest of the men of in the family," Nodoka
chuckled. "Trouble follows right on their heels, like
cherry blossoms in the spring. Don't expect a quiet life
with any of them ... " She paused, thoughtful. "I guess
that's why I allowed Genma to marry me. I was afraid of all
the oddness and adventure. Did you know I had a chance to
marry your father?"</P>
<p align=left>"Why no!" Kasumi smiled. "Why did you not?"</P>
<p align=left>"Your mother beat me to the prize. She and I were best
friends so many years ago. When your father and Genma came
to Nerima, we four were always friends. Then your father
proposed to your mother ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Did you know Hibiki-san at the time?"</P>
<p align=left>"Briefly. Only as the traveling salesman he was. When Genma
went on his training missions with Soun and the old Master
and came back more and more ... less desirable ... Ichiro
would visit more often. We were friends, then one thing lead
to another ... and the twins were born. Ranma ... and now my
Ranko ... "</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi swallowed and handed the woman a napkin to dry her
tears. "Things always have a way of working out, Auntie
Nodoka. You'll see. By the way, Ranma and Akane will be
coming home in a few days."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, wonderful!" Nodoka smiled, sniffing the last of the
tears away. "Then we can start planning the wedding. I have
a few friends, and then we have to consult the family lawyer
... "</P>
<p align=left>"No," Kasumi replied.</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon, dear?"</P>
<p align=left>"No," she repeated herself. "Ranma and Akane have stated
that they are not going to be rushed into marriage. They
know that they're still children, and they are learning to
grow up. Give them time and give them room. No use of a
katana, no threats. Be satisfied that they *do* agree to
marry, just not right now."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka nodded meekly. "I see. Then we shall wait. Although,
I do so much want grandbabies around. I look forward to
being a grandmother."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi brightened, laughing. "'All the joys of motherhood -</P>
'"
<p align=left>"' - But none of the dirty diapers'!" the older woman
laughed. "They will make lovely babies together."</P>
<p align=left>"I think so. All of our baby pictures point out that we
girls were cute babies."</P>
<p align=left>"And Ranma was so adorable!" Nodoka's voice squeaked,
bursting with pride and unshed tears. "Oh my, I cannot
believe I missed out on my son's growing up."</P>
<p align=left>"You did what you thought was right."</P>
<p align=left>"I would trade it all to be a mother again and keep my
children - both of my children. Had I the chance to live my
life again, I would have kicked Genma out and not let him
take Ranma with him."</P>
<p align=left>"You're beginning to sound like an old woman," Kasumi chided
gently.</P>
<p align=left>"I am an old woman, Kasumi-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Auntie Nodoka?" Kasumi asked, with a worried tone in her
voice.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm only thirty-eight, and I'm already an old woman." Mrs.
Saotome held up her katana, caressing the handle gently.
"This has taken away my youth, my life - "</P>
<p align=left>The door chime interrupted her, and Kasumi bowed
apologetically as she stood to answer it.</P>
<p align=left>"Konichiwa, Hibiki-san," Kasumi greeted him.</P>
<p align=left>"Good afternoon, Tendo-chan," he smiled. "Was it my
imagination, or did I see my eldest son actually smiling as
he left here?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh," Kasumi giggled. "We had a talk, and now he's on a
mission to find himself."</P>
<p align=left>"I appreciate whatever you did. I hope you know he's very
fond of you. Although he'd choke rather than admit it."</P>
<p align=left>(A family trait, it seems,) "I'm fond of him, too. In fact,
I hope to someday call you father."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro looked at Kasumi in surprise.</P>
<p align=left>No less surprised than Kasumi herself. (Why did I blurt that
out?)</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro gave the girl a smile. "That would please me more
than anything." If it were true, all the Tendo girls could
call him 'father' in one form or another. "Is Nodoka already
here?"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi relaxed at the subject change. "In the dining room.
Hinako-sensei is coming home with Ranko to interview her.
Since Ranko is starting school so late in the year -"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, but I have a purpose for coming related to that," he
lowered his voice. "I want to make sure that both mother and
daughter behave themselves. The last time they were in a
room together -"</P>
<p align=left>She nodded. "I know. Just pray."</P>
<p align=left>"I have been."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko followed the short, kawaii little girl back to the
Tendo dojo. The one person that puzzled her the most was
Hinako-sensei, who was in her chibi form at the moment and
sucking on a rather large rainbow swirled lollipop. Grown
woman, little child, dedicated teacher, savage brawler ...
an exercise in contradictions.</P>
<p align=left>(Why did Nabiki have to have business? She could have walked
home with us, it wouldn't be so awkward -)</P>
<p align=left>"Problem, Teishi-chan?"</P>
<p align=left>"Eep!" Ranko squeaked, spooked out of her reverie. "Just
wondering - uh - why do you always seem to be popping candy,
sensei?" Ranko asked. "It seems rather ..."</P>
<p align=left>Hinako looked back at her, smiling. "Childish? The change
from child to adult and back always disturbs my blood sugar.
The sweets help keep it stable." Hinako let a smile creep
across her face. "I hear you've been toeing the line at
school regarding your dealings with bullies."</P>
<p align=left>"But they were taken care of, sensei," The redhead's
shoulders slumped slightly. "Although everyone is now afraid
of me ... "</P>
<p align=left>"'The nail that sticks up gets pounded down'," she quoted.
"People like us don't fit into any of the categories that
society and tradition lay down for us. Everyone says that
they like being individuals and in control of their own
destiny, but they don't - people like having their paths in
life all laid out. And people like us, who don't fit into
any of those paths, scare them." She shrugged. "Get used to
it. I have."</P>
<p align=left>"Gomen," Ranko lowered her eyes.</P>
<p align=left>"Don't worry about it. You'll make a fine disciplinarian if
you go into teaching. I'd gladly take you as apprentice."</P>
<p align=left>"Arigato, but my interest lies in the medical field.
Psychology, healing."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded. "Well, my offer will still stand. Most of these
teachers can't handle students nowadays."</P>
<p align=left>"Most teenagers are moronic savages anyway."</P>
<p align=left>Hinako chuckled, going through the gate of the Tendo place.
"And have to be put in their place quite often. If I ever
have children, I hope they have your disposition."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing.</P>
<p align=left>A short distance behind them, Nabiki ran, trying to catch
up. (Can't let the redhead be alone with Nodoka - gods only
know whether she'll survive or not.) </P>
<p align=left>She didn't know if she meant Ranko or Nodoka.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke saw the Young Master had put up the 'Occupied' sign
in his Meditation Room, where he kept all his pornography.</P>
<p align=left>(Damn,) the ninja swore to himself. (And I was looking
forward to seeing 'Debbie-chan Does Yokohama Part 16' today.
The little fart couldn't keep a decent schedule to save his
soul.)</P>
<p align=left>Just then, Kuno rushed out of the room and dashed down the
hall, almost bowling over Sasuke in his haste.</P>
<p align=left>"A thousand pardons, Master!" Sasuke called out, but the
slamming of a door interrupted him.</P>
<p align=left>"Little prick," he mumbled, "Won't even watch where he's
going - eh?"</P>
<p align=left>Something strange occurred to him; Tatewaki's room was the
other way down the hall. He had gone into *Kodachi's* room.</P>
<p align=left>(What would he want in there? The cops cleared out the
illegal stuff.) Following the traditions of both family
servants and ninja, he went to spy on his master's
activities.</P>
<p align=left>Creeping outside the house and to the window, he peeped it
... and almost fell off the roof.</P>
<p align=left>"That's disgusting!" he said. "And those are his *sister's*
panties, too! EWWWWWW!!!"</P>
<p align=left>(CRASH!!)</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke was knocked into the garden as Kuno erupted through
the window, scattering broken glass everywhere.</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke noticed that Master Tatewaki had changed his garb,
from the blue hakama of a kendo-ke to a brownish monk-like
robe. He wore the traditional thief's bandana to conceal his
features and had an empty sack over his shoulder.</P>
<p align=left>"Good Sasuke!" he declaimed. "I go now to fulfill my training
and win the heart of Ranko Saotome! All I need is to gather
my power, and she shall be mine!"</P>
<p align=left>He bounded into the distance, rooftop to rooftop, stronger
and more energetic than he had ever been. His aura was
charged from the residual energies he tapped from Kodachi's
garments, but he needed more if he was to win the fair
Ranko-chan.</P>
<p align=left>Three young girls walked along the street below, giggling.
The aura-detection ability he had learned from the scroll
sensed their female force long before he saw them with his
eyes.</P>
<p align=left>Stepping off the roof, he landed behind them and grappled
them.</P>
<p align=left>As his hands groped their breasts through the fabric, he
felt the rush of energies flooding him. His eyes glowed with
the power that was now his.</P>
<p align=left>Involuntarily, he threw back his head and screamed in
triumph ...</P>
<p align=left>"SWEETO!!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko and Hinako-sensei paused briefly, as if hearing
something, then dismissed it.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro felt an odd sensation from the entry hall. Going in
there, he saw Ranko and a little girl who looked vaguely
familiar ...</P>
<p align=left>"Good afternoon, ladies," he said politely, bowing the
proper amount.</P>
<p align=left>"Hi, Ichiro-san," Ranko said absently.</P>
<p align=left>"Konbanwa, Ichiro-san," Hinako said cheerfully. "I'm Hinako
Ninomiya. Pleased to meet you."</P>
<p align=left>"NINOMIYA?!?" he said in shock. "Are you any relation of
Sachiko Ninomiya of Linaka Village?"v
<p align=left>She beamed. "Why, that's my mother's home village!"</P>
<p align=left>"BWAAAK!"</P>
<p align=left>"And my aunt's name is Sachiko! Do you know her?"</P>
<p align=left>He wiped his forehead. "Whew! Close one!"</P>
<p align=left>"Beg pardon?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko rolled her eyes. (Is he *completely* incapable of
keeping his pants from around his ankles?)</P>
<p align=left>Hinako noticed Ranko was emitting a battle-aura, almost
intense enough to be visible. "Don't worry, Ranko-chan. It's
normal to be nervous in a situation like this."</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not nervous, sensei ..." (I'm just annoyed by my
biological father - plus I just don't want to be in the same
room with Nodoka Saotome for any length of time.)</P>
<p align=left>"So - you aren't planning on using that battle-aura right
now?"</P>
<p align=left>"No, why do you - uh-oh."</P>
<p align=left>"Happo Go-Yen Satsu."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka and Kasumi heard a 'zark' noise from the entry hall.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi recognized the sound instantly. "Ranko's teacher is
here! Just a moment."</P>
<p align=left>She hurried to the door in a prim and proper fashion, a
glass of fruit juice in hand. She found Hinako in adult
form, what had been a cute child's tube dress now a risqué
and slightly small minidress.</P>
<p align=left>On the floor was a slightly smoking Ranko, her hands in the
classic pose for shock.</P>
<p align=left>As well as Ichiro, staring in surprise.</P>
<p align=left>"Good afternoon, Hinako-san. Nodoka-san awaits you in the
dining room."</P>
<p align=left>"Thank you, Kasumi. Oh, by the way," she asked casually, "Is
your father available?"</P>
<p align=left>(Not to you,) she said to herself. "He's out on a training
trip at present, and he probably won't be back soon."</P>
<p align=left>"A shame," she murmured. "Excuse me."</P>
<p align=left>As Hinako swept out of the room, Kasumi was briefly tempted
to allow her father to marry the woman. (Planning on using
Akane to steal the Saotome inheritance, it seems appropriate
that he marry an energy vampire.) Then she shook her head.
(No, I have no desire to have a stepmother.)</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro gazed after the incredibly well-built woman. "What
was that about?"</P>
<p align=left>"Long story," Kasumi said absently, lifting up Ranko's head
to give her the fruit juice.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo escorted Ryoga into the restaurant, leading him by
the hand.</P>
<p align=left>"{American?}" he asked."{I can eat it, but it's not my
favorite. Why here?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I was in the mood for something exotic.}" Shampoo smiled
indulgently. "{If you were on time for our date, *you* would
have picked the restaurant.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{It's not my fault!}" he protested by reflex. "{I ...um...}"</P></P>
<p align=left>"{Got lost?}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga blushed.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo giggled, smiling cutely.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse and Akari, watching through binoculars from across
the street, ground their teeth.</P>
<p align=left>"Look at her!" Akari mumbled. "Look at the hussy! Smiling,
giggling, jiggling at him - I'll bet they're not real!"</P>
<p align=left>"Will you get a load of his 'shy guy' routine?!?" Mousse
snarled. "Making himself look all sweet and helpless, making
her lower her guard, just so he can Get Some!"</P>
<p align=left>"Are you sure this will work?"</P>
<p align=left>"Trust me," Mousse reassured her. "They step outside, we use
the blow darts, the Rage Essence floods their system, they
blowup at each other. When the Essence wears off, they'll
both be depressed - and we step in to comfort them! Can't
miss!"</P>
<p align=left>"Are you sure that this stuff works?"</P>
<p align=left>"Of course I am! I've seen it work!"</P>
<p align=left>"When?"</P>
<p align=left>Mousse sighed. "Shampoo once tried to use hypnotic mushrooms
to break up Ranma and Akane's relationship. I tried to use
the Rage Essence to make Ranma explode in fury when he
discovered it, so he'd drop Shampoo. Instead, Akane got it,
and when the mushrooms made him embrace her, she almost
killed him!"</P>
<p align=left>"She's pretty bad-tempered anyhow," Akari pointed out.</P>
<p align=left>"She used *bladed* weapons."</P>
<p align=left>Akari nodded. "But will the blow darts work?"</P>
<p align=left>"There's two of us. All we need is one."</P>
<p align=left>Akari and Mousse stared at the happy couple eating their
hamburgers, waiting for them to step outside ... and into
their clutches.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>It was the longest hour of Ranko Saotome's short life ...
once she recovered from the energy drain.</P>
<p align=left>(It was all Nabiki's fault,) she decided.</P>
<p align=left>Hinako-sensei asked Nodoka to put her katana away, it was
distracting to the environment. Nodoka did as she was told,
feeling panic surge upon her at the realization that she
knew absolutely *nothing* about the interview procedure.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki had known Nodoka would be there to be interviewed by
her homeroom teacher. The history and records she created
for Ranko stated that she had been living with Nodoka all
her life and was home-taught by her mother, only recently
having been enrolled in public school at Furinkan High.</P>
<p align=left>The briefing Nabiki had given Nodoka was rather perfunctory;
it was assumed that the teacher doing the interview would
just cover current events in detail.</P>
<p align=left>They hadn't figured on Hinako-sensei Ninomiya, the Genghis
Khan of schoolteachers.</P>
<p align=left>What did you teach Ranko? Does she have any problems in
certain subjects? Which and what area? Did she progress at
the same pace as other children her age? Is she gifted in
any particular subject? What were her marks?</P>
<p align=left>What were her study habits? Where did she study? How many
hours a day? Did she have any distractions like the radio or
television? Did she ask for help at all while doing
homework? What sort of environment did she have to learn in?</P>
<p align=left>(Damn you, Nabiki!) Ranko steamed. (I'm going to wring your
scrawny neck!) She cooled again, remembering that Nabiki
couldn't have known that fate would dish this out. (Murphy's
Law of Perverse Physics: 'The most ironic scenario will
*always* pop up.')</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka felt each question like an arrow shot into her back.
Ranko and Hinako, able to see auras, actually witnessed the
phenomenon.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko grew more and more impatient with Nodoka's stammering
and 'ad-libbing'; she felt the urge to throttle the woman
growing.</P>
<p align=left>Hinako-sensei was becoming more and more impatient with
Nodoka's apparent inability to communicate properly. Not to
mention those arrows looked pretty suspicious.</P>
<p align=left>"Saotome-san," she intoned. "Is there something you are not
telling me about your daughter's education?"</P>
<p align=left>"Um ... not much else to tell. She basically taught herself,
actually."</P>
<p align=left>Hinako raised a finely arched eyebrow. "A child genius?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked down at the table, her hands clasped in her
lap. Nodoka rested her eyes on her daughter, thinking.</P>
<p align=left>"To be completely honest, Hinako-sensei, I didn't teach her.
I didn't even raise her."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked up, only now showing the tear trails that had
traced down her face. "You were never my mother, just admit
it. Just admit being the monster you are and leave me be.
You never had to come around, you never had to - "</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko Saotome!" Nodoka raised her voice, feeling the
prickle at the back of her throat fill with tears that she
swallowed back down. "I am your mother, and I do not need to
be addressed in such a manner."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, crap!" Nabiki picked up an urn, hoping to not have to
use it on anyone.</P>
<p align=left>Hinako-sensei gathered up her papers and folders. "I see
this needs some serious consideration. In the meantime,
until this is straightened out, I ask that one of the Tendos
bring your schoolwork home to you for a few days."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" Ranko asked.</P>
<p align=left>"You are on temporary probation until you two can work this
out and give me straight answers," The teacher stood and
bowed her head. "Good afternoon."</P>
<p align=left>She exited the dining room and left the house.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko turned to Nodoka very slowly, locking eyes with her.</P>
<p align=left>"You can't do *anything* right!" Her breath caught in her
throat, feeling the anger and pain build up from her gut and
through her body and limbs. Her fist raised in the air.</P>
<p align=left>"Gods, Ranko, no!" Ichiro yelled.</P>
<p align=left>And she stayed frozen, her fist still in the air, her tears
running down her face.</P>
<p align=left>"I can't anyway," she sobbed. "I promised Ranma that I
wouldn't hit you." She got up and dashed out of the house by
the porch, leaping over the garden wall and disappearing
without a trace.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka stared after her. Ichiro knelt down and held her
around her shoulders.</P>
<p align=left>"My daughter ... "</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki placed the urn back on its shelf and wiped her brow,
shakily settling next to a silent Kasumi.</P>
<p align=left>"You know, oneechan, I think we're the only sane ones around
here."</P>
<p align=left>"Shush, imouto-chan."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka turned, wrapping her arms around her companion.
"Please take me home, Ichiro, or I'm going to turn this
damned katana on myself!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki rubbed her temples. (Those Saotome-Hibiki women are
too damn intense.)</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Nine</P>
<p align=left>The man called Pantyhose strode the streets of Nerima, lost
in thought.</P>
<p align=left>"So damn simple ..." he muttered to himself.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi was right - all he had to do was break tradition with
his home village. He had no problem with that. After all,
he'd been invited to leave when he was fifteen, and hadn't
been back since. Even those times he was nearby, he hadn't
gone by there.</P>
<p align=left>But was this right? Did he want to embrace his father's
heritage? He wasn't terribly fond of his father; in fact, he
barely knew him.</P>
<p align=left>Perhaps it was time he learned.</P>
<p align=left>But still ...</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro Hibiki ... not bad, really. It's got a good feel to
it." He sighed. "But it's a big step."</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose failed to notice that he was passing in front of
Jiro's Arcade.</P>
</P>
<p align=left>He failed to notice the ladder he bumped.
<p align=left>He failed to notice the new sign being hung, from which
there was now a sign-hanger holding on for dear life.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose also didn't notice one thing that the sign-hanger
did - that the hook holding his side of the sign up was
pulling out of the wall.</P>
<p align=left>"AAAAAAA!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose turned around - just as a huge kanji for 'Jiro'
slammed him in the face.</P>
<p align=left>"Ugh," he commented. (Well, I wanted a sign ...)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki shamelessly listened at the door as Nodoka wept on
Ichiro's shoulder.</P>
<p align=left>She was worried about Ko-Chan - the magically-birthed girl
was the best friend she ever had in her life. But she knew
that the things Ranko had to work out were too personal to
share.</P>
<p align=left>Her pet project - saving Ranma's inheritance - was worked
out and just required a nudge to put into motion. That could
wait until her father returned.</P>
<p align=left>(Soun had come to the conclusion that the sooner Ranma and
Akane were returned home, the sooner Nodoka could bully them
into marriage, and the sooner that Genma would be safe. So
he was scouring the district for a clue to their
whereabouts.)</P>
<p align=left>Now she could unravel another little puzzle: the parents of
Ranma and Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki had always prided herself on her ability to read
people, but she had completely misjudged Nodoka Saotome. And
Ichiro Hibiki was an enigma.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki didn't like being wrong. And she *despised* being
ignorant.</P>
<p align=left>"Feeling better, No-chan?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"No," she replied. "But I won't do anything stupid, if
that's what you're worried about."</P>
<p align=left>"That, too," he said, a smile in his voice.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka sighed. "Why couldn't I have just left Genma and run
off with you?"</P>
<p align=left>"The same reason I couldn't leave Ichiko - duty, obligation
to family."</P>
<p align=left>"Besides," Nodoka chuckled. "With your roving eye, you'd
have been spitted on my katana in a week."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro laughed. "A distinct possibility. Remember how
jealous you got of Teijo-chan?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki tensed.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes - and how cute you looked in the bandages." Nodoka
sighed. "Silly, wasn't it? A married woman getting jealous
of another married woman because I thought she was stealing
my married boyfriend."</P>
<p align=left>"You should write soap operas, No-chan."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki went downstairs; Hibiki-san's travel kit and sample
case were in the foyer. Both were locked; both locks were
easily defeated by the Nabiki Tendo School of Martial Arts
Jiggling-The-Lock-With-A-Bobby-Pin-Until-It-Pops.</P>
<p align=left>(I'm just curious about the father of my best friend and my
sister's future husband. That's all.)</P>
<p align=left>His sample case held an impressive assortment of kitchen
appliances - it looked like he probably used a variant of
Mousse's tricks to pack it, because it was somewhat larger
inside than it was outside. His sales book showed him
earning a good living.</P>
<p align=left>(A commission of two hundred ten thousand yen this month??
Damn, he's *really* good. I wonder how much of a cut he'd
want for hosting sales seminars?)</P>
<p align=left>The travel kit held clothes, books, identification (his
passport was a thing to behold - an awe-inspiring number of
stamps), and what appeared to be a small journal.</P>
<p align=left>The journal held photos of women, and small written notes.</P>
<p align=left>At first, Nabiki thought she'd found the journal of a
playboy, but the notes also had travel schedules and sales
records. The notes about the women showed concern and
caring, and a genuine interest in them. Lonely women,
needing a shoulder to weep on, always found it in Ichiro
Hibiki.</P>
<p align=left>(Poor guy - all a woman needs to do is cry out 'Oh I'm
lonely', and he's putty in their hands.) She smirked to
herself.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki flipped through it - and there it was.</P>
<p align=left>The photograph.</P>
<p align=left>'Teijo-chan was so understanding,' he had written, 'She
understood my grief at having to leave her so well. She
managed to sneak away from the New Year's Festival for a
final farewell - a memory that will linger.'</P>
<p align=left>A New Year's Festival. She looked at the dates. And at the
photograph.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki dashed out toward the dojo, where the shrine of her
mother was kept. Desperately, she pulled an old photo album
off the shelf beneath it and flipped through it.</P>
<p align=left>"No no no no no no no no no no no NO!"</P>
<p align=left>She dropped the album and ran into the night.
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo and Ryoga laughed as they hurried home, trying to
beat the rain and the inevitable transformation.</P>
<p align=left>In the shadows behind them, spurned lovers stalked.</P>
<p align=left>"Y'know, this is fun!" Ryoga said. "I never had a time like
this before!"</P>
<p align=left>"{That's true love, Ryoga,}" Shampoo giggled cutely.</P>
<p align=left>"{That's another thing - why me?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stopped and sighed. "{Is it important?}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga looked at her intently. "{Yes. This is - sudden. A
week ago, you were just someone I knew - more than a casual
acquaintance, but not quite a friend. And you were trying to
get Ranma by any means available.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo nodded in agreement. "{Sit down, Ryoga.}"</P>
<p align=left>The two went to a bus stop bench and made themselves
comfortable. Shampoo looked uncomfortable.</P>
<p align=left>"{Ryoga, I want you to understand this - before anything
else. That I've come to - to love you. Your sweetness, your
strength, your gentleness.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga took her hand.</P>
<p align=left>"{I was trapped. Great-grandmother had resorted to her last
trick in an effort to get me to marry Ranma - a magic ring
that granted love wishes.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga just looked, no rage, no sadness, just - expectancy.</P>
<p align=left>"{Cologne wanted me to use it to wish for Ranma, but - I no
longer felt what I had felt for him. Besides, Akane would
have torn out my liver.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga could only nod in agreement.</P>
<p align=left>Akari sized up her target. (They're sitting still - now!)</P>
<p align=left>(PHUT!!) went the blow dart.</P>
<p align=left>Akari was an excellent sumo pig trainer, and an expert at
animal husbandry - but her skills at ranged weaponry were
sorely lacking.</P>
<p align=left>The dart went wild, landing in the bushes.</P>
<p align=left>The squirrel leapt, trying to escape the feral cat, a
millimeter ahead of the slashing claws.</P>
<p align=left>His leap carried him directly into the path of Akari's dart.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo didn't pay attention to the inhuman cry
from the bush as the squirrel exacted vengeance upon the cat
for millions of squirrel-generations hunted by its species.</P>
<p align=left>"{So,}" Shampoo continued, "{I thought of a way out. I used
the ring to wish for my ... my one true love. No names, just
my One True Love.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{And I fell out of the ceiling,}" Ryoga concluded.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo nodded. "{Please understand, Ryoga. At first, you
were just -}"</P>
<p align=left>"{A way for you to escape your obligation to wed Ranma,}"
Ryoga finished for her.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo nodded.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse listened intently. (A shot right now - and it'll be
logical. They'll never figure it out.)</P>
<p align=left>(PHUT!!) went the blow dart.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse never liked to admit it, but his glasses used the
same prescription as was used to fix the Hubble Space
Telescope.</P>
<p align=left>The dart never went near them.</P>
<p align=left>"OW!!" Akari cried as the needle pierced her flesh.</P>
<p align=left>Akari stomped over to Mousse's hiding place and began
flailing at him, screaming the most vulgar words a prim and
proper Japanese girl could know.</P>
<p align=left>"- dung-headed Less-Than-Pig fish-brained -"</P>
<p align=left>"OW!! OW!! OW!! OW!!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo looked down. "{Please don't hate me, Ryoga.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga put an arm around her. "{Shampoo - when you started
this, I was terrified. Not to mention I was convinced that I
loved Akane.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{And now?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Now - I'm still terrified. But I'm thinking clearer. I
know I was just infatuated with Akane. I never really loved
her.}" He sighed. "{Then there's Akari.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{The Pig-Girl? Were - are you in love with her?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{No,}" he answered. "{I was in love with being loved. But I
didn't love her.}" He looked away in pain. "{I'm not really
sure I know what love is. Not really.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo snuggled close, resting her head on his shoulder.
"{I'm willing to wait until you find out.}"</P>
<p align=left>Surprisingly, Shampoo found that she *was* willing to wait.
She'd had dozens of men, a number of relationships, but
there was something in Ryoga she couldn't define that ...
filled something in her that she never knew was empty.</P>
<p align=left>(The magic of the ring was right,) she thought. (I'll wait
as long as necessary.)</P>
<p align=left>Akari reached into the broken mass that was Mousse and
yanked out a large scimitar. She held it over her head and
advanced on the snuggling couple from behind.</P>
<p align=left>"PREPARE TO DIE, GAIJIN WHORE!!"</P>
<p align=left>By reflex, Shampoo twisted around, shoved her leg through
the bench back, and slammed the enraged girl into a tree,
knocking her dizzy.</P>
<p align=left>"{What was that?}" Ryoga asked, looking in the direction
that Akari had gone.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo shrugged. "{Who knows? Some random loony. Ignore it.}"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko wandered blindly through Nerima, her tears filling her
vision.</P>
<p align=left>Of course Ranko was disturbed by her reaction to Nodoka. How
could she be so angry? How could she raise her hand to the
woman? </P>
<p align=left>She couldn't understand how any mother could let their child
go. Did the old woman ever feel any regret and pain for
doing so?</P>
<p align=left>Of course she did, and deep down, Ranko knew it. *That* is
why she couldn't bring herself to strike her, no matter how
angry she was with her. She ran over and over in her mind
the last moment in the Tendo house, when her biological
father called for her to stop. There was a moment of reason
born within her that she was horrified for having raised her
hand to ... her mother.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko admitted it to herself - Nodoka *was* her mother. Why
else would she be around so often? Trying to correct the
past by repentance.</P>
<p align=left>But does she know the *depth* of the wrong?</P>
<p align=left>Ranko was confused, disoriented. She needed some place to
rest, to think things through.</P>
<p align=left>Could she visit Niichan and Akane? No, Ranma would hate her
for threatening Nodoka.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki? Probably her best friend in the world. But ... she
wouldn't understand.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo? No, she's out on a date with Ryoga. No need to make
her miserable.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne? Hell, no; the Old Ghoul would try to make her an
Amazon or marry her off to Mousse or something.</P>
<p align=left>In these circumstances, Ranma usually went to Ukyo ... which
was not an option. Ucchan had enough hassles of her own,
anyhow.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu-sensei?</P>
<p align=left>No, the last person she need to see now. He didn't need to
see her hysterical and unlady-like ...</P>
<p align=left>She swallowed a sob again, looking up at the rapidly moving
storm front settling over Nerima. It was going to rain that
night, she could smell it. Best to work this off now before
going into work.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akane slipped a blue tank top dress over her head, adjusting
the drape over her body as she studied her reflection in the
dresser mirror that occupied the small attic.</P>
<p align=left>She saw a peaceful Akane in front of her. One who doesn't
knot her brows in suspicion or scream in rage at her fiancé.
They had a few fights, but they were dealt with calmly. She
had grown these past few days. She was proud and grateful.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma appeared behind her, placing his hands on her
shoulders and kissing her neck. She chuckled.</P>
<p align=left>"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he murmured
against her flesh.</P>
<p align=left>"Many times ... " she turned in his arms, kissing his face.</P>
<p align=left>"Well ... " he kissed her forehead. " ... I ... " he kissed
the tip of her nose. " ... love ..." he kissed her mouth
slowly, thoroughly, completely. " ... you."</P>
<p align=left>"Mmmm ... " she purred. "If we don't get going now, we won't
leave for another two days."</P>
<p align=left>"Of course you're right," he nodded, grazing his lips across
hers. "And I may be tempted to break my vow of celibacy for
my wedding night."</P>
<p align=left>She giggled, wrapping her arms around him. "But I can see
why all those girls couldn't resist you, either, you feel so
wonderful."</P>
<p align=left>He shrugged in her arms, grinning. "But you feel the best,
otemba-chan."</P>
<p align=left>Akane blushed, then pinched him.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey!"</P>
<p align=left>"Later, lover. Let's drop off the mirror for Dr. Tofu to
look at - the sooner the better; the thing creeps me out."</P>
<p align=left>"Okay. Guess I have to get dressed, eh?"</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled deeply, slapping at his naked rear. "It would
help, you animal."</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, dominatrix! Whatever you say, Mistress Akane!"</P>
<p align=left>Both laughed, wasting a little time on touching before they
finished dressing.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>From all outside appearances, Doctor Ono Tofu was staring
off into space (or meditating, take your pick).</P>
<p align=left>From inside knowledge, he was having a very serious talk
with a certain succubus concerning a dream from the night
before.
</P>
<p align=left>(You *weren't* playing around in my head again?)</P>
<p align=left>(Not this time, Ono-sweetie. Those new wards you put up were
too damn good. You did that one on your own.)</P>
<p align=left>(Did I?) he 'said' skeptically.</P>
<p align=left>(Hey, I was visiting someone who shall remain nameless at
the time you and she were dreaming.)</P>
<p align=left>(Nani?)</P>
<p align=left>(Heh heh heh. You wondered why it felt so real? She was
dreamin' it, too. Damndest thing I ever saw, two people,
each dreaming of the other.)</P>
<p align=left>(Oh, Great O-Kuni-Nushi! How on this Earth did this happen?)</P>
<p align=left>(Ask Him yourself, Ono-sweetie. I give you my word - whatever
that really means to you, sweet, shy dear - that I had
absolutely no part in that little escapade you two dreamed
up between you. I didn't even hook you up - you two did
that yourselves!) She 'smiled'. (Speak of the devil. Gotta
go, babe. I've things to see, people to do! Ta-ta!)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>As Ranko entered the clinic, she looked down at herself and
noticed she was still in her school uniform, slightly mussed
from the fit she had been in. She shrugged, attempting to
straighten herself out as best as she possibly could,
running her fingers through her wavy red hair. She hoped her
eyes weren't red from all the crying, but wishful thinking
never changed anything.
</P>
<p align=left>She was Ranko Saotome - strong, feminine, secure.</P>
<p align=left>She was Ko-chan - scared, alone, ashamed.</P>
<p align=left>She found a fresh pot of tea on the warmer and poured
herself a cup. She sniffed it, sighing in relief; Tofu-
sensei believed that one of the best ways to calm nervous or
high-strung people down is by soothing and tranquilizing
herbal teas. She needed it right now as she drank the warm
fluid down, dampening her anger and confusion.</P>
<p align=left>She glimpsed her reflection in one of the mirrors he hung
around the clinic to dispel evil. A little harried, but
nothing short of a good scuffle she may have had before
work. Blame it on a mugger or something that tried to molest
her. She quickly buttoned her blouse again.</P>
<p align=left>In his office, Tofu was trying to gather his thoughts again.
He felt her enter the clinic, her emotions grabbing his
attention first and foremost. She was upset, and he
immediately felt the need to run out and comfort her.</P>
<p align=left>Yet, he hung back, uncertain if she would accept his offer
of comfort. Oh, he knew she was a strong-willed woman.
Plenty of times, while she reached for things on a top
shelf, he came in to help her take them down. She told him
politely to go through the Seven Rings of Hell, she'll get
it herself.</P>
<p align=left>He attributed it to her living inside Ranma all this time,
of always doing things her/himself. Still, Tofu wanted to
treat her like a woman, not as a pseudo-male.</P>
<p align=left>(But she dreamed of you, too, you old fool,) the nasty voice
of his subconscious commented.</P>
<p align=left>(Don't remind me,) he replied.</P>
<p align=left>He waited for her to calm down before he left the office.
His eyes swept over her, noting the ravagement done by tears
and upset to her face. He ignored her uniform for the moment
- she probably had trouble between school and the clinic.</P>
<p align=left>"Konichiwa, Tofu-sensei," she greeted him, smiling wanly.</P>
<p align=left>"Good ... " he looked at his watch. " ... evening, Ranko-
chan. Are you feeling well?"</P>
<p align=left>(Actually, Ono, I feel like crap.) "I'm alright, arigato.
You?"</P>
<p align=left>He smiled nervously. He briefly wondered where Betty-chan
was, she was so helpful when he felt nervous and he could
occupy his nervous hands. His replacement must have taken
the skeleton with him. Oh, well. "Doing well. I don't expect
much business tonight since the forecasters predicted rain."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, I smelled it on the way here. Should I go home early,
then?" she rounded the desk and sat in her chair, pulling
out record books.</P>
<p align=left>"Probably," he fiddled with the clipboard in his hands. "If
we don't have any emergencies. Doubtful, though."</P>
<p align=left>"Agreed. The Wrecking Crew has been too quiet, save for
Pantyhose Taro ... " Ranko played with the pen between her
fingers, flipping it like a baton from one digit to the
next. "By the way, Tofu-sensei - "</P>
<p align=left>Tofu let the clip go and all the papers fell to the floor.
"Oops," he murmured, leaning down to pick them up. "Clumsy
of me ... "</P>
Ranko admired the view, then blushed, returning back to the
subject. "Some news concerning Kasumi: she's in love with
someone else."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh?" his head popped up over the edge of her desk. "That's
good. Whom?"</P>
<p align=left>"Pansuto Taro."</P>
<p align=left>He chuckled, gathering the papers back together. "Doesn't
really surprise me. She *does* have a healer's gift." He
grimaced. "For some people ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Tofu-sensei?" Ranko gazed back at him. "Could you let me
figure out why she affects you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well," he stammered. "By all means. I mean, there's really
no use. It just happens, and all I can do is ride it out,
and - " He dropped the papers again, the last image of the
dream flashing through his mind.v
<p align=left>Ranko dropped her pen, unnerved by his behavior. "Sensei,
what's bothering you?"</P>
<p align=left>"I should be asking you that, Ranko-chan," he mumbled. "I've
never seen such a mess in your aura."</P>
<p align=left>"What's that supposed to mean?"</P>
<p align=left>He slapped his hand over his face and muttered, "Excuse me,
I need to screw my head on straight." Then went back to his
office.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko sat at her desk, hearing thunder rumbling outside.</P>
<p align=left>"Please, don't leave me ... " she whispered. "Please don't
leave me!"
</P>
<p align=left>She leapt up over the desk and followed him into his office.
He immediately turned and folded her in his arms, letting
her sob against his gi. "Talk to me, Ko-chan. Please talk to
me."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, Gods, Ono, I'm so alone!" she cried, holding him tighter.</P>
<p align=left>He held her closer, stroking her hair, her scent filling his
senses. (Damnit, she came to you for comfort, don't screw
this up!)</P>
<p align=left>Between sobs she poured out everything to him: her love for
Ranma, her loneliness, her hatred of Nodoka, her prayers for
her brother and Akane, her fear of the world, her heartache.</P>
<p align=left>And she felt the tears subside, giving vent to all that had
been bottled up in her soul. Her fear, pain, and anger
mingled with the rain pounding on the roof, drawing out the
emotions and battering them wildly in the storm outside.</P>
<p align=left>All the while, the doctor held her, talking quietly and
calmly, offering a stable thread for her to hang onto in her
emotional exorcism.</P>
<p align=left>Eventually, exhausted and weak, she lay her head against his
shoulder, still holding him tightly. "I don't know how you
can put up with it, Ono-kun."</P>
<p align=left>"Don't worry about it, Ko-chan," he replied, squeezing her.
"I live to serve, in all ways. It hurts me to have you
hurting."</P>
<p align=left>She picked her head up, looking back into his concerned
brown eyes, highly aware of how close he was, how he held
her. "I don't want to be weak before you. I don't want you
hurting because of me."</P>
<p align=left>"I can't help it," he gazed back into her eyes, feeling his
heart beating faster. "I care for you. Deeply."</P>
<p align=left>"I care for you. Much more than I should," she whispered,
feeling her breath tighten.</P>
<p align=left>Both breathed deeply, feeling their bodies pressed close,
warm and soft and strong. Their scents blending between them
in passionate need.</P>
<p align=left>Their lips met instantaneously, driven by forces that they
knew nothing of. Their mouths made love, massaging moist
warmness between their soft lips, needy and wild in long-
suppressed longing.</P>
<p align=left>They released the other's lips, staring at the other in
shock. Ranko pressed her thighs together to quiet the
throbbing that began between them, feeling everything in her
body beg for more of him.</P>
<p align=left>"No!" she cried, pushing him away. "Oh, Gods, I shouldn't
have - "</P>
<p align=left>Tofu shook his head of the euphoria, finding her scrambling
to the other side of the couch. "Ko-chan, come back here."</P>
<p align=left>"No!" she replied, tumbling over the end of the couch and
stumbling up. Fear filled her veins with ice water, making
her race out of his office and through the main door of the
clinic, causing shards of glass to spray out into the
street.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko kept running, charging off into the night in blind
panic.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu stood at the door, calling for Ko-chan to return. He
was answered only by the howling wind.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Ten</P>
<p align=left>"Be careful with that, Baka-sama!"</P>
<p align=left>"I *am* being careful, otemba-chan!" Ranma protested. "It's
not that heavy!"</P>
<p align=left>He walked along the fence top casually, the covered mirror on
one shoulder. On the sidewalk next to him was Akane, his
wife in all but name.</P>
<p align=left>"But it's getting windy!" she protested. "That big flat
thing's likely to be blown away!"</P>
<p align=left>"Don't worry! It's not like something horrible's gonna
happen!"</P>
<p align=left>The Spirits of Luck that cluster fast and thick around the
Saotomes heard this insult to their power, and accepted the
challenge.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo were considering ducking into one of the
all-night bars to wait out the rain they could both feel
coming when two men carrying a litter between them bumped
into them.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh no! Gomen nasai!" they apologized, picking up the litter
again.</P>
<p align=left>"No problem," answered Ryoga calmly. "What's the matter?"</P>
<p align=left>"This man was hurt by a falling sign - we're trying to get
him to Doctor Tofu's clinic."</P>
<p align=left>"Let Shampoo take look," the Amazon said briskly, her manner
as a healer coming to the fore. She looked over the body,
noted minor bruising but possible head trauma. "{Well, well
- if it isn't my least favorite future brother-in-law.}"</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" Ryoga asked, then he got a good look at the injured
man. "Hiya, Pantyhose."</P>
<p align=left>"{He's out cold right now, Ryoga. He can't hear you.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Damn. And I wanted to talk to him about a few things.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo felt herself smile a bit. She knew he didn't mean
fight. He'd mentioned over dinner that he'd like to get
along better with his half-brother. She liked this kinder,
more thoughtful Ryoga.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, let's get him to the doc's."</P>
<p align=left>"Good idea. Shampoo lead."</P>
<p align=left>The two men watched as the couple picked up the litter and
dashed off, faster than they could go.</P>
<p align=left>"Why do you think he called that guy 'Pantyhose'?"</P>
<p align=left>"Who knows? In this neighborhood, you don't ask questions."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>As Ryoga and Shampoo dashed around the corner with the
litter carrying the unconscious Pantyhose, a sudden intense
gust of wind hit the large mirror that Ranma carried.</P>
<p align=left>The big flat mirror caught the wind and acted as a sail.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma fell from the fence, atop Akane, and the mirror fell
from his grasp.</P>
<p align=left>Buoyed by the wind, the mirror flipped in mid-air, the cover
falling off.</P>
<p align=left>Then the mirror came down, swatting Ryoga and Shampoo in the
head. Out of the mirror, a small kitten and a black piglet
fell to the ground.</P>
<p align=left>The impact knocked the two martial artists to the ground,
making them drop the litter. The mirror bounced off their
heads, landing against the wall of a building.</P>
<p align=left>"What was that?" Ryoga asked.</P>
<p align=left>"OW!" Shampoo protested.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, hells!" Akane pushed Ranma gently off of her, and
looked to see what became of the mirror.</P>
<p align=left>And saw HIM!!</P>
<p align=left>"BUTA-HENTAI!!!" she yelled. "YOU'RE BACON!!!"</P>
<p align=left>With a huge roar, a gigantic hairy hand poked out of the
mirror and grabbed the unconscious Pantyhose.</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko leaned against a tree, trying to collect her thoughts.</P>
<p align=left>(Oh gods - how could I have let that happen?? I *kissed*
him! Why did I run?? I shouldn't have kissed him! I
shouldn't have *stopped* kissing him! Why did I kiss him?!?)</P>
<p align=left>She remembered Phoenix Mountain, when she and Ranma stood
together, their united spirits doing battle with the
Phoenix-God Saffron. The entity they faced was like a
nuclear explosion with arms and legs and a bad case of
hemorrhoids.</P>
<p align=left>That wasn't as scary as being kissed for the first time.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko tried to relax, breathing deep, doing the Soul of Ice
exercises.</P>
<p align=left>Suddenly, something ran into her.</P>
<p align=left>"Ugh!" two female voices yelled, followed by a (thud).</P>
<p align=left>Ranko picked her head up, feeling a body trembling in a
crying fit on her own. She sat up, pushing the girl up to
see who it was.</P>
<p align=left>"Biki? What's wrong??"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked up at her best friend, tears streaming her
face, still panting from her panic. "It's - Ichiro - "</P>
<p align=left>"What is it, Biki?" Ranko held her future sister-in-law
closer, trying to calm her down, letting her concern for a
friend cover up her own feelings. "What about Ichiro?"</P>
<p align=left>"He had an affair with my mother, too!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, Gods, Biki, it's not the end of the world," Ranko
hugged her tightly. "So what if he's the Japanese Anthony
Quinn ..." A horrible thought occurred to her. "Oh, Great
Gods, he's not Akane's father, is he?!" (Niichan doesn't
need *that*!)</P>
<p align=left>A hideous bestial roar filled the air.</P>
<p align=left>Both girls turned their heads toward the battle cry, a few
blocks over near where Ucchan's used to be.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on," Nabiki wiped her face and pulled the shorter girl
up. "I think you're needed over there."</P>
<p align=left>"But is Akane - "</P>
<p align=left>"No, I'll explain it later. I need to calm down a bit."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko grabbed Nabiki's hand and leapt up on the roof toward
the battle in the street.</P>
<p align=left>"THIS IS NOT MY IDEA OF 'CALMING DOWN'!!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga gazed at the approaching mallet-wielder.</P>
<p align=left>The memory of being malleted into the floor (a hit that had
almost killed him) because she had discovered he was P-chan,
filled the Lost Boy's mind. He felt his heart ache from
sadness and his body tremble out of fear. </P>
<p align=left>Not fear of Akane - he knew that he could probably take her,
even with her new capabilities. But he was afraid of hurting
her - and he knew she had every right to hate him.)</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo got up and stared Akane eye to eye. "Ryoga Airen of
Shampoo now! You no hurt!" (Damn, the Monkey-Mummy's right -
I sound like a bimbo!)</P>
<p align=left>"The pervert *used* me!" she replied, pushing Shampoo back.
"And you better stay away from my Ranma-sama!"</P>
<p align=left>"You keep Boychick!" Shampoo pulled out her bonbori. "But
you better no hurt Ryoga!" (Dammit, what am I doing?!? Last
time she nearly smeared me! And I had three-to-one odds
then!)</P>
<p align=left>"He'll die painlessly!"</P>
<p align=left>"THAT IT!!" Shampoo yelled, swinging her bonbori at Akane's
head. (Maybe Ryoga will have a chance to get away...)</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ryoga stared at the two women fighting for them,
both boys scratching their heads in puzzlement. Ranma
recovered. "Heya, P-chan, long time no see."</P>
<p align=left>"You, too, Ranma. But why the hell is there another
Pantyhose monster trying to kidnap Pantyhose?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, you're right," Ranma gulped, seeing the huge yeti-ox-
octopus-eel-thingamajiggy squeeze carefully out of the
mirror while holding a semi-conscious Pantyhose Taro. "I
didn't know the mirror would let your guys' other souls out,
too!"</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" Ryoga stopped, hearing his Shampoo and Akane beat
the crap out of each other in the background. "What are you
talking about?"</P>
<p align=left>"That mirror is what separated Ranko and me. Something about
the soul of the curse you have being able to come out. See?"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga looked to where Ranma pointed - to where a black
piglet wearing a animal-print bandana cowered behind some
trashcans, a pink and purple cat with bells on it's ears hid
behind it.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga paused, taking this in, his eyes growing wider. "You
mean that thing gets hit with cold water and it becomes me??
Like Ranko turns into you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Probably." Ranma looked at Ryoga oddly. (He's acting real
weird. Calm, hasn't blamed me for anything ...)</P>
<p align=left>"If we wait for the rain, they'll both change. The Creature
will be harmless - but Pantyhose may be hurt from falling,
and we'll have no way to get him to the clinic."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma was impressed. (Since when could Ryoga think like
that?) "Then we better keep him here!"</P>
<p align=left>"Good idea!" Ryoga ran toward the beast, pulling bandanas
from his forehead.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Creature luxuriated in the sensations. For the first
time in it's existence, it controlled it's own body!</P>
<p align=left>The Warden - the pallid man-thing that kept it imprisoned
for it's whole life, tormented with visions of a freedom it
could never taste - lay helpless in his palm. It could crush
its enemy casually, but then it couldn't suffer.</P>
<p align=left>No, this vengeance would take months - if not *years*!</P>
Its wings stretched, in preparation for flight ...</P>
<p align=left>... then it bellowed in pain as several intense stabbing
sensations hit it's leg.</P>
<p align=left>It glanced down, seeing a yellow-and-brown man-thing running
toward him. The pain came from some projectiles colored like
the man-thing.</P>
<p align=left>"You take my brother, you deal with *me*, monster!"</P>
<p align=left>The Creature flared it's nostrils. The temptation of killing
the Warden's sibling appealed to it.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Damn you, Shampoo, get out of the way!" Akane yelled,
plowing her fist into the lamp post behind the ducking
Amazon.
</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo put the lamp post between herself and the Tendo girl.
(She's not using the Shintaika - I may have a chance.)
"You no hurt Airen!" She swung a bonbori in a feint, holding
the other in defense.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma is NOT YOURS, you airheaded twit!" Akane leaned away
from the weapon's contact, then lashed out with her other
hand. The other bonbori deflected the punch.</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo no want Ranma!" she cried. "You no hurt Ryoga!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane paused, taking this in. "You're engaged to Ryoga??"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes!"</P>
<p align=left>Both girls looked at each other, breathing heavily.</P>
<p align=left>"He's a pervert!"</P>
<p align=left>"He take medicine, he well now!"</P>
<p align=left>"He *used* me! He dies!"</P>
<p align=left>"{Get over it, you neurotic little girl!}" Shampoo exclaimed,
moving toward the guys taking shots at the Creature.</P>
<p align=left>Akane, not understanding a word of the dialect used by the
Amazons, but knowing that the tone was very unfriendly,
decided to be insulted. "Hey!"</P>
<p align=left>"What the hells is going on?!" Ranko Saotome's voice yelled
as she landed next to Akane.</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo and Ryoga - "</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, I know. He's also on medication. He's been wanting to
apologize to you for a few days now."</P>
<p align=left>Akane blinked for a long time. Ranko sighed and grabbed her
arm to pull her toward the melee. "Come on, oneechan, you
can mull over it later. Ranma needs us!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane pulled herself out of her self-absorption at the
mention of Ranma's name. She finally noticed the Pantyhose-
creature ... and Ranma fighting it!</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Ranma kept up their attacks.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga would close and pound on it, and when the Creature
reached for him, Ranma unleashed ki-blasts, giving Ryoga
time to back away. Then, when it would head for Ranma, Ryoga
would rush it again. Then they repeated. Between them, they
kept the Creature busy for a while.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature tired of these insects and their pinpricks.
Spreading its tentacles wide, a cloud of black, oily fluid
sprayed in all directions.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ryoga fell to the ground, coughing and sputtering,
blinded by the thick fluid.</P>
<p align=left>As the cloud settled, tentacles lashed out like gigantic
whips, flicking the two martial artists into the nearest
walls.</P>
<p align=left>"RYOGA!!" Shampoo cried out.</P>
<p align=left>"RANMA!!" cried Ranko and Akane.</P>
<p align=left>The two boys stumbled to their feet, out of breath, but
obviously conscious.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature, seeing no immediate threat, turned to walk to
the canal. It just had a lovely vision of the Warden almost
drowning - over and over ...</P>
<p align=left>"He's not looking!" Akane growled. "Let's kill him!"</P>
<p align=left>"You nuts?" Shampoo insisted. "When we fight Pantyhose, we
get toss around like rag dolls!"</P>
<p align=left>"She's right, Akane-chan. We can't hold Pantyhose!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane should know this; she fought against Pantyhose Taro
before, with a mob of superior martial artists, and they won
only by dumb luck and a trick that wouldn't work twice.</P>
<p align=left>But now, Akane saw only that her man had been hurt.</P>
<p align=left>"SHINTAIKA!!"</P>
<p align=left>The Heart's Fire blazed in the night.</P>
<p align=left>"JEIGOKU SEISATSU!!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane's ki-blast hit the Creature in the back of the head,
causing it to turn and bellow its rage.</P>
<p align=left>"{We are really [CENSORED] now,}" Shampoo whispered in her
native tongue.</P>
<p align=left>"I completely agree," Ranko said. "But we have to save the
hostage first."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Creature noticed the three little female creatures
switch on their battle auras, shining brightly and providing
a nice glow to the wind-blown streets.</P>
<p align=left>Easy.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature spread its tentacles out again to spray the
girls. All three leapt up simultaneously, avoiding the
sludge and landing on different roofs around it. The
Creature whipped its head around, figuring out they were
going to take him on three sides.</P>
<p align=left>It flung out a tentacle toward the purple-haired one, who
sprung into the air, somersaulted, and landed on another
rooftop.</P>
<p align=left>The redheaded one released a ki-blast at the back of the
Creature's head, crying out something about thunderbolts. It
turned around, swatting at the girl as she twisted her body
out of it's reach and landed on a lower roof.</P>
<p align=left>The dark-haired girl went unnoticed, until the Creature felt
something kicking its knee in super fast motions while
screaming something about chestnuts. It moved it's leg to
stomp on her, but the Amazon and the redhead both attacked
with bonbori and feet at it's face.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature brought it's free hand up to smack the insects
from it's face, but both girls jumped up in time for it's
palm to slap it's own face.</P>
<p align=left>Damnit, the female things are quicker than the male ones.
Like rats scurrying around.</P>
<p align=left>Well, this is how it dealt with rats!</P>
<p align=left>Tentacles whipped out, attempting to grab them as they shot
around in mid-air, delivering hits or ki-blasts.</P>
<p align=left>"SHAMPOO!! RANKO!! NOW!!"</P>
<p align=left>The red-haired and purple-haired females both struck the
Creature's wrist simultaneously with their feet, driving
their feet into the weakest part of it's wrist with all
their weight and strength.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature bellowed, releasing it's grip and letting the
captive human fall toward the ground.</P>
<p align=left>Akane jumped up, grabbing the limp young man in mid-air,
then running toward where Ranma and Ryoga were gasping.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature was getting highly annoyed.</P>
<p align=left>(Just whip that fire up, baby,) Ranko thought. (C'mon, blow
your cool ...)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki watched from a distance as Akane rescued the
unconscious captive from the Pantyhose-creature. She was no
martial artist (being a first dan in Judo didn't count as a
'martial artist' around this neighborhood). She had enough
sense to stay away.</P>
<p align=left>"Mew."</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked down, seeing Neko-Shampoo and Buta-Ryoga at
her feet, gazing up at her plaintively. She glanced over at
the battle, and saw Shampoo fighting and Ryoga trying to
catch his breath.</P>
<p align=left>(The mirror,) she concluded.</P>
<p align=left>"Hi guys," she said to the mystical housepets. "Just try to
stay hidden until the disaster's done."</P>
<p align=left>She glanced around the street ... there!</P>
<p align=left>And coming down the street - Doctor Tofu!</P>
<p align=left>He had intended to look for Ranko before she did something
foolish with the building storm coming. Instead, stepping
out of his offices, he found a battle taking place a few
blocks over. Knowing the Saotomes, they were in the thick of
it, including Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>The doctor leapt up to the rooftops and dashed over them,
landing on the main drag where the Pantyhose Monster was
swatting at the female martial artists.</P>
<p align=left>"Doctor Tofu!" Nabiki yelled.</P>
<p align=left>"What's going on?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>She gathered up the cat and piglet in her arms and looked
back up to him. "Ranma and Akane must've had the mirror,
because these - " she lifted her arms up " - and that - "
she swung her head toward the Creature " - are not who we
think they are."</P>
<p align=left>"I see," he remarked. "Get yourself and the animals away
from here, now."</P>
<p align=left>"You're not going against *that*?" She raised an eyebrow.</P>
<p align=left>He adjusted his glasses firmly and gazed at the battle.
"There are some things a man does when he finally realizes
he's in love." With that, he ran toward the fray.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki looked after him, blinking, then made a face.
"Whatever you say, doc."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu found Akane was trying to revive Pantyhose, and she
looked up at the doctor.</P>
<p align=left>"Get him to the clinic!" he yelled.</P>
<p align=left>"But Doctor Tofu! What about - "</P>
<p align=left>"Take him to the clinic NOW! March, young lady!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane silently lifted the unconscious Pantyhose up in a
piggyback, and made a run through the narrow alleys to
escape the Creature.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu turned to size up the four-story-tall monster above
him, a Minotaur-looking beast that was desperately trying to
slap, grab, and tentacle-whip the female martial artists
that were bouncing around it while delivering ki-blasts and
hits.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko had taken the bull by the horns (so to speak, and it
was only one horn since she didn't have the reach of Ranma)
and was plowing one kick after another into the Creature's
face. Shampoo was clocking it with her bonbori in the neck
area, both avoiding getting hit by tentacles.</P>
<p align=left>The doctor clasped his hands as if in prayer, summoning up
magical energy from the universe around himself. A green
ball of magic appeared before his hands, which he opened his
palms to hold, lifting it above his head.</P>
<p align=left>"SHEEEEEEEE-YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"</P>
<p align=left>He released it straight to the Creature's chest.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo grabbed Ranko, both girls flying off the beast and
landing on a roof.</P>
<p align=left>A roar filled the air, beating on their eardrums. They
crawled over to see the doctor springing up, landing feet-
first in the monster's gut. Tofu bounced off, back-flipped
in mid-air, jumped back off the ground and sent his foot and
fist at the Creature's chin.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stared in awe, feeling a deep blush cross her cheeks.
She knew he was a martial artist, but she had never seen him
in action. Such grace, such motion, such beauty -</P>
<p align=left>"{Come on, stop drooling,}" Shampoo sighed, grabbing her
arm. "{We can't expect him to get that thing all by
himself.}"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, of course." Ranko shook her head of the trance and
followed the Amazon through the air.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu already had the Creature properly pissed off. So many
things were trying to protect the Warden. It remembered when
nobody liked the Warden. Oh, well, more things to crush.
Starting with one who was the most powerful.</P>
<p align=left>The doctor looked up to see a hoof bearing down on him,
leaping out of the way.</P>
<p align=left>"FLASH FLAME!" he responded, picking fireballs out of the
air and whizzing the burning projectiles at the beast. Bits
of hair caught fire, only to be stamped out by the
Creature's hands and tentacles. Another ki-blast hit the
back of it's head, while those damned ball things the
purple-haired one carried were being whacked against it's
eel head tail.</P>
<p align=left>The two ink-covered males jumped up and hit it in its
stomach - recently injured and still tender. It flinched and
stumbled back a step.</P>
<p align=left>"Nice you join party!" Shampoo cried, grinning at the doctor
and the two young men.</P>
<p align=left>"Can't you kids ever stay out of trouble?" he asked.
"PHANTOM FIST!" An unseen force hit the Creature in the jaw.</P>
<p align=left>"Not our fault!" Ranko replied. "DOKO RAKURAI!"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah! Just bad luck!" Ranma yelled. "MOKO TAKABISHA!"</P>
<p align=left>The ki-blasts weren't injuring the Creature, but it was
being hurt. And getting really pissed off.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan!" Tofu shouted. "Is the ki hot enough?!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked at the Creature's billowing aura. "Almost
there! Hit it between the legs or something!"</P>
<p align=left>"Nasty idea!" Shampoo objected.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu had a better idea. He pulled up the spell and stabbed
two fingers in the air. "NEEDLE EYE!"</P>
<p align=left>The Creature grabbed at it's face, feeling something similar
to red hot pokers being shoved through its eyes. In monster
tongue, it yelled something quite graphic about what it was
going to do with their skins.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga released a Bakusai Tenketsu attack at the ground at the
Creature's feet, causing the monster to roar in pain as
shrapnel tore at its legs.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko grabbed Ranma's hand.</P>
<p align=left>"You're helping me out on this one, Niichan," she told him.</P>
<p align=left>He grinned, following her lead. "That's what brothers are
for, Imouto-chan."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ranko ran around the feet of the Creature,
increasing their sped steadily, the siblings becoming a blur
as they spiraled in sync around the disoriented monster's
body.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu's hands made a complex series of motions before him.
"STORM WARD!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo turned to run from the impending holocaust
- only to be stopped by a bluish-green bubble that suddenly
surrounded them.</P>
<p align=left>"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!!" the Saotomes cried together.</P>
<p align=left>The roar of the Creature was drowned by the roar of the
tornado that erupted around the monster's body.</P>
<p align=left>Windows shattered, small shade-trees were ripped up, debris
filled the air.</P>
<p align=left>A blue-green bubble with three persons inside was untouched,
the forces of the disaster washing over it without affecting
it or the people inside.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature struggled against the elemental attack - then
leapt straight up.</P>
<p align=left>The tornado dissipated slowly, but not before it was carried
out of sight.</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Eleven</P>
<p align=left>(Dammit!) the Creature fumed.</P>
<p align=left>It remembered watching the little shriveled Amazon use that
whirlwind attack before against the Warden in his form. Two
of the Warden's protectors made it as bad.</P>
<p align=left>And it had let itself be distracted long enough for it to be
used! It had barely recovered soon enough take control of
it's flight!</P>
<p align=left>Well, it would focus this time. No getting distracted by
annoying human-things.</P>
<p align=left>At the tip of it's tail, the eel-tongue flicked out, tasting
the air. The octopus tentacles stretched, feeling the trace
chemicals on the wind.</P>
<p align=left>A scent.</P>
<p align=left>No more Mister-Nice-Nightmarish-Horror. This time, one blow,
and that's *it*!</P>
<p align=left>With a bellow, the Creature flapped its wings and headed
toward its prey.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"That should take care of it for a few minutes," Ranko
stated as she and Ranma landed next to the bubble.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu flicked his finger against the wall of the bubble,
quietly popping it out of existence. "So, are you kids going
to explain to me what happened?"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo, Ryoga, and Ranma all opened their mouths at once,
catching the doctor up with what happened, from Pantyhose
getting injured to the mirror allowing the curse-souls free.
Shampoo immediately started calling "Here, kitty-kitty!" as
she looked for her cat-half.</P>
<p align=left>"Wait a minute!" Ranko exclaimed. "That thing's still
charged?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Ranma replied. "We saw the monster come out
ourselves."</P>
<p align=left>"Aw, hells. And it's after Pantyhose, huh?"</P>
<p align=left>"Why not?" Ryoga retorted. "I'd be upset if my other half
was like him."</P>
<p align=left>"It's a bit deeper than that, Lost Boy." Ranko remembered
what it was like, before she and Ranma could speak - staring
out of other eyes while another moved the arms and legs and
mouth, able to live only in dreams and desperate struggles
for control ...</P>
<p align=left>A roar interrupted the committee meeting, all five heads
turning toward the sound.</P>
<p align=left>"Fun while lasted," Shampoo sighed. "How we stop it?"</P>
<p align=left>"You got some magic, doc," Ranma remarked. "You have
anything that can stall it until it rains?"</P>
<p align=left>"That's about all we can do. Even then, we can't let our
guard down since it has all of Taro's skills. But it may be
easier to control it on our level. Back to the clinic -
that's where Taro is, and where the Creature will probably
be headed." Tofu turned and raced down the street, followed
shortly by Ryoga and Shampoo.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stood where she was, staring at the doctor. Ranma
waved his hand in front of her face. "Hey, Ko-chan, no time
for day-dreaming."</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" she blinked, looked up at him. "Gomen. Just
thinking."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma grabbed his sister's hand and both leapt up to a roof
in pursuit.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akane had found the glass doors of the clinic shattered. She
was even more surprised junkies and thugs weren't looting
the place (but those type had started avoiding the Furinkan
area for some reason these past few months). She disregarded
it and took in Pantyhose, now regaining consciousness.</P>
<p align=left>"Argh, my head ... " he murmured. She gently laid him down
on an examination table, leaving momentarily to wet down a
washcloth.</P>
<p align=left>"It's okay, you're going to be okay," she cooed softly,
patting his face.</P>
<p align=left>"Izzit you, Kasumi-chan?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>Akane paused. (Kasumi-*CHAN*?? What the hells' been going on
since Ranma and I've been gone?)</P>
<p align=left>"I found my name ... and a sign really did come to me ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Shh, don't talk. Doctor Tofu will be here soon."</P>
<p align=left>"It may be too late ... damnit, this hurts ... Kasumi-sama,
I want to tell you something ... "</P>
<p align=left>(Kasumi-*SAMA* now??)</P>
<p align=left>An inhuman roar filled the air. Akane felt the floor rumble
under her.</P>
<p align=left>"The monster is coming, it has to wait," she told him as she
picked him up again.</P>
<p align=left>"Monster? Damn yeti ... even when I was a kid ... pick on me
in my dreams ..."</P>
<p align=left>Akane listened with some interest as she carried Pantyhose
to the basement about the lifelong feud he had carried on
with the curse-soul within him. Akane couldn't help but
think about how Ranma and Ranko might have been like that
had they never found out how to speak to each other.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, I can get it now ... in my pouch ... Bridle of Anubis
... old magic ... got it for the Old Fart ... control ..."</P>
<p align=left>As Akane put Pantyhose down on the basement floor, she
checked the pouch on his right hip.</P>
<p align=left>The Bridle was a glorious thing - all silver and gold wires,
twisted together cunningly, like shining metal threads tied
into a series of intricate knots and gleaming loops. A true
piece of art.</P>
<p align=left>"But how do I use it?" Akane asked.</P>
<p align=left>But Pantyhose wasn't listening.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The assembled fighters arrived at the clinic (Ranko looking
self-consciously at the door).</P>
<p align=left>"AKANE!" Ranma called out.</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki??" asked Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>With much huffing and puffing, Nabiki jogged in the front
door, a cat and piglet in hand. "(puff-gasp-puff) You guys
gotta run all over the place like that?"</P>
<p align=left>"CAAAAAATTTT!!!" Ranma screeched, leaping up and clinging to
the ceiling.</P>
<p align=left>"Damn!" Ranko cursed. "Nabiki! Take those animals to the
doctor's office!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki nodded and almost ran into the panicky Akane as she
dashed up from the basement, responding to her lover's cry.</P>
<p align=left>"RANMA-SAMA!! I'M COMING!!"</P>
<p align=left>A second later, Akane was in Ranma's arms, both in an
intense liplock. Shampoo cleared her throat and Ryoga
blushed in embarrassment.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on, you horndogs," Ranko sighed. "We got a monster
coming this way for Pantyhose."</P>
<p align=left>"Mmrph! Right!" Ranma pulled away from his fiancée -
reluctantly. "What've you got?"</P>
<p align=left>"Pantyhose said we could use this on the monster," she held
up the wire object.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu pressed his lips together, studying it. "Well, I
wondered where that went to. Best thing we can use at the
moment."</P>
<p align=left>"What is it?" Ranko slid next to him to take a look.</P>
<p align=left>"The Bridle of Anubis. Magical object that allows a person
to control another. It acts as a sedative by pressing on
certain shiatsu points. Supposedly created by the Egyptian
god Anubis to control the god Typhon."</P>
<p align=left>"Then how's it magical?" Ryoga asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Changes size and shape. It can fit over the Creature's neck
without stretching, and can adapt to faces or muzzles. Not
to mention it's indestructible. Perfect," he remarked,
grinning. He squeezed Ranko gently around the shoulders with
one arm and accepted the Bridle from Akane. "I have a plan."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko gazed adoringly at the powerful, decisive man before
her. Her naked adoration was noticed by everyone in the room
- except Tofu.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma, Ranko, Ryoga, Akane - are you rested enough to use
your ki-attacks?"</P>
<p align=left>"Can't, doc," Ryoga said. "I can't use the Shishi Hokodan
while I'm medicated."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, you and Shampoo will have to work together, then."</P>
<p align=left>"Don't forget me, doc."</P>
<p align=left>They all turned toward Pantyhose, standing in the hall,
looking exhausted as hell.</P>
<p align=left>"I don't know, Taro -"</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro," he insisted. "My name is Jiro Hibiki."</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga grinned, raised a hand in welcome, and stated, "Glad
to meet you, oniisan."</P>
<p align=left>"Better than the other one he picked for himself," Ranma
muttered, making Akane and Ranko stifle their giggles.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro Hibiki smiled painfully. "Just remember that, *little*
brother." Turning toward the doctor, he continued. "Forget
leaving me, doc. That thing has been tormenting me since I
could remember. It's about time that I tame that bastard
once and for all."</P>
<p align=left>"But your injures ... "
</P>
<p align=left>"Nothin' but a flesh wound," he chided, carefully making his
way toward the group. "Doc, I'm gonna get that son of a
bitch, whether you want me to or not."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari had worn herself out beating on Mousse, and had
recovered enough to start beating on him again (after he had
recovered enough to take more of her rage). He turned,
blades out, deflecting blows from the scimitar she held in
her dainty hands.</P>
<p align=left>(And I was worried that the Rage Essence might have lost
potency,) he mused.</P>
<p align=left>"You blind moron!" she shrieked. "I trusted you to help me
get my Ryoga-sama back, and you mucked it up!"</P>
<p align=left>"I swear! It was an accident! Ow!!! Mama!!! Stop that! We
can find them again!"</P>
<p align=left>"It's too late!" she swung again, the weapon making contact
against the side of a cistern water tank, spraying water out
and covering them both.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse flapped around out of the stream, honking in anger.</P>
<p align=left>Akari held up the sword, a mad look on her face, "WHO WANTS
MANDARIN DUCK?!?!"</P>
<p align=left>A panda suddenly appeared, bearing a sign saying [How long
until he's ready?]</P>
<p align=left>Mousse-oshidori quacked, taking to the air as the girl and
panda chased after him.</P>
<p align=left>[Hey! Come back with my free food!] the panda signed.
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The ground shook as the creature landed, the pavement
cracking beneath its hooves. The back blast from its wings
blew debris through the air, and its roar caused residents
to peak out of windows, then retreat to their basements.</P>
<p align=left>It tasted the air again. Its prey had left, had run off to
another part of the city ... no, away from the city. (What
fools these humans be,) it thought, (Believing they could
run and hide. No more running, Warden, the time of
retribution has come at last!)</P>
<p align=left>The Creature spun around, lifting up into the air again,
hunting for the Warden.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The martial artists raced through the streets, Jiro being
supported between Ranma and Ryoga as they ran ahead of the
girls and the doctor.</P>
<p align=left>(My brothers ... ) Ranko thought to herself, letting Akane
whip behind her as she held her future sister-in-law's hand
in her run. (Damn, who would have thought ... )</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, doc!" Ranma yelled. "You said this place has a hill we
can use to spring on the monster?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, a large one, quite steep on one side."</P>
<p align=left>"Good ... " Hefting up Jiro on his side, the three shot off
toward the outskirts of town, away from innocent lives.</P>
<p align=left>It might get a little ugly.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Creature circled around the hilly landscape again,
feeling the traces of teenagers dotted among the grasses
below it. So, the final battle to be outside of
'civilization'. Not a problem at all.</P>
<p align=left>The beast opened it's jaws and bellowed, "{Come out, little
boy, and let me eat at your soul again!}"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro's face went ashen, then he set his jaw in determination
as he marched resolutely forward from his hiding place, as
steadily as he could manage without falling over.</P>
<p align=left>"WELL?! COME AND GET ME, YOU WORTHLESS PATCHWORK FREAK!
LET'S END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!"</P>
<p align=left>The Creature glared at Jiro Hibiki, hate pouring off of it
in a visible battle-aura, red as blood. As irresistible as a
volcano, it stepped forward, toward it's nemesis.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma, Akane, Ranko, and Doctor Tofu watched from a high
hilltop, waiting for the Creature to come into range.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma squeezed his sister's hand and whispered, "I'm so glad
we never reached that." Ranko smiled in return.</P>
<p align=left>Akane was excited - her first real battle at Ranma's side!
Not as a hostage (or a rescuer), but an equal facing an
opponent together!</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma-sama!" she whispered.</P>
<p align=left>"What, Akane?"</P>
<p align=left>"I just fell in love with you again!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma grinned, no longer embarrassed or ashamed of his
feelings. "Ai shiteru yo, my fierce warrior-lady!"</P>
<p align=left>"Yuck, fish," Ranko remarked, wrinkling her nose at the
Creature's smell.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu took Ranko's wrist.</P>
<p align=left>"Sensei?"</P>
<p align=left>He leaned over, kissing her mouth briefly, then released
her. "For luck."</P>
<p align=left>Akane and Ranma smiled at them. Ranko smiled at nothing.</P>
<p align=left>"ATTACK!!!" Tofu yelled out.</P>
<p align=left>The four hilltop martial artists stood and held their hands
before them.</P>
<p align=left>"MOKO TAKABISHA!"</P>
<p align=left>"DOKO RAKURAI!"</P>
<p align=left>
"JEIGOKU SEISATSU!"</P>
<p align=left>"SHEI-YAHH!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Four energy bolts slammed into the Creature's gut.</P>
<p align=left>"NOW!!" Shampoo cried out from the field.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo leapt out from their concealment, bonbori
and combat umbrella striking together.</P>
<p align=left>Tentacles whipped out, attempting to grab at the martial
artists on the hill. They bounced off, some landing on it's
face, others into the grass.</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu and Ranko landed in the grass, both
somersaulting in landing, then sitting up.</P>
<p align=left>"You know," she sighed, pulling herself up. "We have to come
back here and have a picnic sometime - when we're not
battling monsters."</P>
<p align=left>"I highly agree, Ko-chan," the doctor replied, weaving his
hands and forming a teal sphere of energy. Her hands raised
into another ki-blast.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo leapt out of the tentacles' paths, going
back to beating the Creature's sensitive back knees. She had
lapsed into a berserker state, singing old battle songs in
her Uighur/Tibetan Amazonian dialect with scattered bits of
Attic Greek. Ryoga tried to ignore his little understanding
of her languages, as most of the lyrics were graphic in
their narratives.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane kicked and plowed their fists into the
monster's face, slamming forces against it's eyelids, all
while trying to avoid it's hands from grabbing them.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma grinned, delivering a hard punch into the Creature's
left eye. "Let's kill him, lover!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane squealed in delight, landing a kick against the
monster's right eye.</P>
<p align=left>"FINAL BLOW!" Tofu ordered. "Make it hard!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo pulled a chopstick out and shot it up toward the
head. Akane caught it and plowed it between the Creature's
eyes.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma directed a ki-blast on top of the beast's head,
sending him and Akane in the other's arms flying high into
the cloud-covered night sky.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko and Tofu let a ki-blast and a magic bolt rip toward
the beast's tender gut.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo swung umbrella and bonbori simultaneously
to the back of each knee.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature bellowed in shock and pain as it toppled
backwards, it's huge numbers of limbs flailing wildly.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro stood straight, all traces of weakness suddenly gone
from his aura as he had waited for the right moment. He
leapt across the distance separating himself and his
enemy, the Bridle swinging from his hand.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature jerked, trying to escape -</P>
<p align=left>- as the Bridle slapped it in the face.</P>
<p align=left>The Creature roared as the Bridle wriggled, shaped itself to
its face, settled tightly to it.</P>
<p align=left>The warriors assembled as the Creature calmed, then lay
still.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro Hibiki, formerly Pantyhose Taro, laughed as he stood
upon the chest of his oldest enemy. "I WON, YOU PATCHWORK
FREAK!! YOU HEAR ME?? I WON!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Gee, what a gracious winner," Ranko said snidely as she
watched Jiro dance around on the helpless creature's chest.</P>
<p align=left>"Nice how he shares the credit, too," Ranma added.</P>
<p algign=left>"I may never change again, but it's worth it if I get rid of
*you*!!" he cried, kicking the creature over and over.</P>
<p align=left>"Should we tell him?" Akane asked.</P>
<p align=left>The clouds rumbled.</P>
<p align=left>"Nah," Ranma said. "He'll find out in a minute."</P>
<p align=left>"Find out what?" Shampoo asked. "We separated from curses -
we not cursed, right?"</P>
<p align=left>The rain began to fall.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta and Shampoo-neko struggled to get out of their
clothes, while Ranma-onna looked on with some amusement, and
Ranko-kun winced as his panties again hurt him in an intimate
fashion.</P>
<p align=left>"Now you know why I wear boxers," Ranma-onna said.</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up," he replied.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro-kaijuu looked around in shock, staring down at the
transformed Creature, now resembling a naked Jiro.</P>
<p align=left>"He should be easier to handle this way," Tofu said, bending
down and picking up the helpless young man. "Let's go back
to the clinic, and we'll get all of you some hot water." He
looked at the Bridle-wearing Kaijuu-Jiro in his arms.
"Except you, of course."</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Twelve</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki had put the kettles on the doctor's stove in his
private apartment when she heard the rain tapping on the
roof. If anyone was coming back ...</P>
<p align=left>(Shut up, Biki,) she told herself firmly. (Everyone will
come back. This happens all the time. Nobody allows
themselves to be killed around here ... )</P>
<p align=left>She watched Neko-Shampoo and Buta-Ryoga nap quietly together
on an armchair.</P>
<p align=left>(Poor babies, all that time inside the Amazon and the Lost
Boy, never controlling their own bodies. Then the shock of
finally having their own bodies at last, then that big
fight.) She shook her head at herself. (I'm getting soft in
my old age.)</P>
<p align=left>She heard the crunching of glass and a male Ranma's voice
saying, "Biki! Is there any hot water?"</P>
<p align=left>She grinned, picking up two kettles in each hand, heading
toward the stairs as the cat and piglet raced ahead of her.
"Coming, Ko-chan!" She began to sing a song from an anime
movie sequel. "We've got hot water in our spaceship's
bathtubs ... "</P>
<p align=left>Below, Ranko-kun released Shampoo-neko discreetly in the
doctor's office, laying the Amazon's clothes across the
chair to dry a bit. "Okay, sister, I'll bring some hot water
in for you. Try not to march out of here naked, okay? It'll
embarrass Ryoga."</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo raised her nose in the air, making complete use of
cat indignation. Ranko-kun left the door slightly ajar.</P>
<p align=left>The Amazon-turned-cat settled on the chair, waiting for the
water. She heard the door creak open and she turned to look.</P>
<p align=left>Her cat-half, the soul she unknowingly carried in her, stood
at the door. Her ears were pinned back as she growled low in
her throat.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo picked up what she meant. (Oh, Great Artemis. She's
pissed at me for using her body without her consent. How the
Hades was I supposed to know?)</P>
<p align=left>"Mrow?" (Hello? Make nice?)</P>
<p align=left>"Hiss!" (Die!)</P>
<p align=left>Catfight!</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta was in an examination room, his clothes laid out
over the table he sat upon, waiting for someone to bring his
own hot water.</P>
<p align=left>He was exhausted after the evening's events. He really just
wanted to slip into a warm bath and ... maybe cuddle with
Shampoo ... afterwards, of course. Fully dressed, too.</P>
<p align=left>Funny how the notion of snuggling with Shampoo appealed to
him. He didn't know if he was in love with her ... part of
him still felt something for Akane, and even Akari ... but
he was willing to entertain the possibility.</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee." (Hey, butthead!)</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-buta raised an eyebrow (if pigs had any) and looked
over the edge of the table.</P>
<p align=left>Standing in attack position and looking up at him was his
piglet-half, ears back and snorting in a high state of piss-
off.</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee!" Ryoga replied. (Hiya, P-chan!)</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee-bwee!!!" (Die, you evil monster!!!)</P>
<p align=left>The piglet sprang up and tackled Ryoga.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki came into the waiting room, kettles of hot water at
the ready.</P>
<p align=left>"Hiya, oneechan!"</P>
<p align=left>"Hi, Akane. Want to help hand out the hot water?"</P>
<p align=left>"Sure."</P>
<p align=left>Pouring some on Ranma and Ranko first, they briefly debated
on how to damp down Pantyhose-kaijuu (now Jiro-kaijuu,
Nabiki was reminded), who was still out in the rain.</P>
<p align=left>"I'll handle it," Tofu said. Drawing a complex symbol in the
air with glowing lines, he tossed it out the door at the
great beast.</P>
<p align=left>With a huge hiss and a burst of steam, the abruptly-human
Jiro rushed inside. "HOT!! HOT!! HOT!! HOT!!" he screamed.</P>
<p align=left>"It's a good thing your other form is so tough," Tofu
remarked. "Otherwise that heating spell would have caused
serious injury."</P>
<p align=left>"As opposed to boiling me like a lobster?!?" he objected.</P>
<p align=left>"Wotta wimp," Ranko teased.</P>
<p align=left>"Pansy," Akane agreed.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro growled angrily.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Jiro," Ranma asked. "How do you keep your clothes on
like that?"</P>
<p align=left>"Now how about Shampoo and Ryoga?" Ranko chimed in.</P>
<p align=left>"I'll take care of Ryoga," Ranma volunteered, taking the
kettle.</P>
<p align=left>"Are you sure you don't want me to take care of him?" Akane
asked, hefting a mallet.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu took the mallet. "I don't think that'll be necessary,
Akane-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Nabiki said. "He's really changed after getting his
medication. He's actually sweet. And he does want to
apologize."</P>
<p align=left>"Akane ... give him a chance," Ranma pleaded.</P>
<p align=left>Akane looked at her fiancé's eyes. "Well ... okay. But only
for you."</P>
<p align=left>"That's my otemba-chan," he said, kissing her cheek.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh give me a break!" Jiro commented.</P>
<p align=left>"Not very romantic, are ya, Hibiki?" Ranko teased.</P>
<p align=left>(CRASH!!)</P>
<p align=left>A pair of piglets crashed through the examination room door,
trying their damnedest to kill each other.
</P>
<p align=left>Ranma quickly splashed them both with hot water, resulting
in a naked Ryoga being gnawed upon by a nasty little piglet.</P>
<p align=left>"Get off of me!" he yelled.</P>
<p align=left>"Now you know how I felt when you kept biting my a - OOF!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane removed her elbow from Ranma's stomach and picked the
piglet up off of Ryoga, who was now blushing and cursing and
scrambling back into the room to get dressed.</P>
<p align=left>"Now - " She turned the piglet to face her. " - what was
*that* all about??"</P>
<p align=left>"RWOR!!!"</P>
<p align=left>"MWER!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma visibly stiffened, hearing the dreaded howls of *two*
monsters from the back of the clinic.</P>
<p align=left>"My turn," Ranko sighed, taking a kettle into the doctor's
office. She watched the two pink and purple Siamese cats
spin around the room in brawl, fur flying everywhere and
bells being slapped off.</P>
<p align=left>She waited for Shampoo to weave around her legs in need of
help, then she poured the kettle over both.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo coughed, as the cat shook its fur and sprang up for
her face -</P>
<p align=left>Only to be caught in a bubble of mystic force. Shampoo
looked up and smiled wanly. "{Thanks, doctor. She's mad at
me about being stuck in my head, I think.}"</P>
<p align=left>He nodded, taking the kettle from Ranko. "I figured as much.
Get dressed. I'll make some tea for everyone and we can
figure out what to do with our guests."</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu left the doorway (the floating bubble full of
cat following him out) and Ranko closed the door as Shampoo
got dressed.</P>
<p align=left>"Did you know she was in there?" the redhead asked.</P>
<p align=left>"{Not at all. Oh, I could understand cats much better, but I
wasn't aware that it was actually *her* who knew it.}"
Shampoo looked at the redhead. "{Were you and Ranma -?}"</P>
<p align=left>"Yep."</P>
<p align=left>"{Is that how it was in Ranma's head?}" Shampoo asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Kinda, except Ranma tried to ignore me and what I knew for
a long time. I was just too ... strong to ignore. Besides,
there could have been a lot of differences between Ranma's
curse and your curse."</P>
<p align=left>"{So I still turn into a cat, huh?}"</P>
<p align=left>"Afraid so. And the cat will turn into you, only with a
cat's mind."</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo processed this as she re-tied her hair bells in,
letting the information ferment.</P>
<p align=left>"{I may be able to take care of Mousse at last,}" Shampoo
mused.</P>
<p align=left>"How so?"</P>
<p align=left>"{By giving him what he wants.}"</P>
<p align=left>A smile spread across Ranko's face, as did Shampoo's, then
both burst into giggles.</P>
<p align=left>"You - are - evil!"</P>
<p align=left>"{But it gets two pests out of my hair, right?}"</P>
<p align=left>Both laughed, leaving the office to join the others.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, he's kinda nice," Ranma remarked, scratching the newly-
rechristened P-Chan under his chin. The piglet was obviously
enjoying himself.</P>
<p align=left>"See? I told you he's sweet," Akane remarked, smiling. "It
was obviously Ryoga-hentai's vile influence that made him
nasty to you."</P>
<p align=left>"Um ... about that," Ryoga said nervously. "Can we ... talk,
Akane? Privately?"</P>
<p align=left>The piglet growled at Ryoga, hostility oozing off of him.</P>
<p align=left>"Eat shi-" Akane began, but stopped when Ranma put his hand
on her shoulder. She reluctantly nodded. "Okay. But just
because Ranma asked."</P>
<p align=left>As the two stepped into an examination room, Shampoo looked
into Akane's eyes, promising death if Ryoga was harmed.
Akane sniffed indignantly.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki tapped Ranko's shoulder and drew her aside. Ranko
noticed Nabiki's nervousness.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma noticed his sister and future sister-in-law quietly
leaving, and the worry on Nabiki's face.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga sat on the floor, bowing his head low to Akane.</P>
<p align=left>"Okay, buta-hentai. I promised Ranma-sama that I would give
you a chance. So convince me not to kill you."</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga made a note to thank Ranma for that - assuming he ever
left this room. "Please forgive my trespasses against you,
Tendo-san. I was foolish, arrogant, shy, proud, and - "</P>
<p align=left>"Dishonest, depraved, unscrupulous," she supplied.
"dishonorable, stupid -"</P>
<p align=left>"Stupid and childish," he agreed. "I know I abused your
trust. I've willfully tried to take advantage of you. I
tried every means to make you hate Ranma and love me instead
... and I am deeply sorry for causing you all that pain. I
ask only to be forgiven."</P>
<p align=left>He looked up at her. She gazed down, searching his face,
finding tears ready to spill from his eyes.</P>
<p align=left>"You deceived me," she stated. "You could be doing it again."</P>
<p align=left>"I did before, but not now," he lowered his head again.
"Tendo-san ... I've been taking my medication, like I should
have long ago before we had even met. It has cleared my
mind, making me realize all the harm I've done. I'm so, so,
so sorry!"</P>
<p align=left>He wiped his eyes, surprised the tears were coming at all.
Akane sat down in front of him, locking her eyes to his.</P>
<p align=left>"Listen, Ryoga. 'Sorry' doesn't fix broken bones ... or
broken trust. You have to earn my trust again."</P>
<p align=left>"You're - you're allowing me to live?"</P>
<p align=left>"I really shouldn't, but love has made me more forgiving."
She smiled slightly. "And I learned something from Ranma -
that life's too short to carry grudges." She sighed.
"Besides, men's tears soften me too much."</P>
<p align=left>He rubbed his eyes. "I'm just so sorry. I promise to treat
you with utmost honor and respect. I will not come into your
presence without you're knowing and I won't pretend to - "</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up, Ryoga," she replied. "Just stay nice and don't get
in my way too much."</P>
<p align=left>He nodded. "Yes, Tendo-san."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>In the other examination room, Ranko turned to Nabiki.
"Okay, Biki - what got you so upset earlier tonight?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki bent her head close to Ranko's ear and whispered, "I
think Ichiro might be *my* father!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded soberly. "How did you come to this conclusion?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki explained to her of how she found the photograph and
the dates of the New Year's party and her birthday, just
nine months later. She whispered furtively, with Ranko
acknowledging the information.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma had his ear pressed to the door, listening to the
girls on the other side. He had to hand it to Nabiki, her
quiet tones were too quiet, even for his heightened senses.</P>
<p align=left>(She's almost family; I have to help her if she's in trouble,)
he told himself.</P>
<p align=left>He heard his sister clearly. Ko-chan being supportive and
understanding, as she always has been for him and now for
others.</P>
<p align=left>"Ichiro's been a father many times, Biki-chan, it won't be
new to him."</P>
<p align=left>(Ichiro? Hibiki?)</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, I feel the same way. It's incredible he manages to keep
his pants up at all."</P>
<p align=left>(What the hells?)</P>
<p align=left>"But you just have to deal with it as best you can. It's not
the end of the world - carrying a Hibiki baby seems to be
The Way around here."</P>
<p align=left>(Hibiki *BABY*???)</P>
<p align=left>"Not much of a father, but what can you expect? Just learn
to deal with it like I'm learning to. We're in the same boat,
Biki."</P>
<p align=left>(Ko-chan, too???)</P>
<p align=left>"Meanwhile, Ono has been wanting some blood samples, so if
you contribute some, maybe we can find out if - "</P>
<p align=left>Ranma didn't stay long to hear the rest of his sister's
sentence. He grabbed Ryoga's umbrella from the side of the
desk.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Hibiki!" he said. "Where's your old man?"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro answered, "Pop? He's been hanging around the Tendo place
lately. Why -?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma went past him and ran out in the rain, heading toward
the Tendo Dojo.</P>
<p align=left>"Where Ranma run to?" Shampoo asked the doctor.</P>
<p align=left>"I've no idea."</P>
<p align=left>"Niichan ran off?" Ranko asked, poking her head out of the
door.</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Jiro replied. "He asked where my dad was, and ran
out."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, hells, I *knew* someone was listening at the door!" She
dashed out, grabbing a spare umbrella from her desk drawer.
"He knows Ichiro is our father!"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro facefaulted, unable to say anything but "FEM-BOY IS MY
BROTHER, TOO?!?!?!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko had already opened the umbrella and ran out, yelling
for her brother.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo blinked for several moments, taking in the short
announcement. Nabiki appeared behind her.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma is Airen brother, too? How?"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga stepped into the room, Akane behind him. "What's going
on?</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki grinned, holding out her hand. Nobody could accuse her
of over-reacting to the news of being a Hibiki now.</P>
<p align=left>"Five thousand yen."</P>
<p align=left>"HEY!"</P>
<p align=left>"Each."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranma neared the Tendo home, still mightily ticked off.</P>
<p align=left>(How dare that bastard?!? Nabiki *and* Ranko??? Does
treating women like crap run in their family or something??</P>
<p align=left>Well, he's going to regret hurting either of them!)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko was closing on him, calling out his name, when a white
duck slammed into her face, followed by a homicidal pig-
breeder and a panda.</P>
<p align=left>As Ranko changed to a male under the pile-up, Ranma arrived
at the front door.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi opened the door just before Ranma touched the knob.</P>
<p align=left>"Why hello, Ranma-kun. Is Akane with you?"</P>
<p align=left>"Uh - she'll catch up. Is Ichiro Hibiki around?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes - he and Auntie Nodoka are enjoying some tea in the
dining room. Why don't -"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma stormed past, his battle-aura flaring.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma!" Nodoka cried in her joy, running up to embrace her
son.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma allowed her a brief hug. "Sorry, Mom, but there's
something I have to do."</P>
<p align=left>He turned on the older man. "ICHIRO HIBIKI!!" he called out
in rage. "I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT!"</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka gasped. Ichiro looked downcast.</P>
<p align=left>"I'd hoped you would take it better."</P>
<p align=left>"AND EXACTLY HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO 'TAKE' IT?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well," Ichiro said, "Ranko-chan did say you might be upset
-"</P>
<p align=left>"I left 'upset' down the block! I want your HEAD!!"</P>
<p align=left>"RANMA!" Nodoka shouted. "I'm as much to blame as anyone!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma turned to his mother, his eyes wide. "WHAT??"</P>
<p align=left>"I could have refused!" she explained. "But I was so lonely
and Ichiro was so *sweet* and -"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma turned back to Ichiro. "YOU SLEPT WITH MY MOTHER,
TOO?!?"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro blinked. "How else does a woman get pregnant?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma stood still for a few seconds, blankly staring ahead.</P>
<p align=left>Then he roared ...</P>
<p align=left>"DIE!!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>After collecting her extortion ... er, compensation ... and
telling the sordid tale of Ichiro and Nodoka to those
assembled, silence reigned.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro shook his head. "Dammit, does that man have *no* self-
control?"</P>
<p align=left>Wheels turned in Shampoo's mind. (Ranma, Ranko, Monster-Boy,
Ryoga ... possibly the most powerful martial artists of our
generation ... all with the same father? If blood will tell,
then our offspring - possibly trained by their Uncle Ranma
... Our kids could rule the world!) Visions of her offspring
overthrowing the People's Government danced in her head.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga looked as depressed as he did without his medication.
(All this time, I was trying to kill my *brother*??)</P>
<p align=left>"I've got to go stop him!" Ryoga burst out. "Before he does
something he'll regret!"</P>
<p align=left>"No, you don't, Pig-Boy," Jiro said forcefully. "*I'm* the
oldest, I'll go. besides, it's still raining. Your other
form is helpless in a fight." He grabbed up an umbrella and
headed out.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu shook his head. "Jiro, you idiot! You've got a mild
concussion!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane dashed out after him. She knew that if Ranma hurt
someone in a rage - biological father or not - he'd never
forgive himself.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh bloody hell," Nabiki muttered, and ran out.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga put an arm around Shampoo's waist. "You think they'll
be alright?"</P>
<p align=left>"{We'll just have to hope, Ryoga. There are no more umbrellas,
and our other forms are just roadkill in a real fight. So we
can just wait.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Ranma's my brother??}" Ryoga said, switching to Cantonese.
"{I can't believe it.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I can. You look an awful lot alike.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga felt mildly offended by that.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranko-kun finally got tired of the idiots dogpiled on top of
him and slammed his fist up, sending them into the rain swept
sky.</P>
<p align=left>Just as he got to his feet, a massive explosion erupted from
the Tendo house.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh crap! RANMA!!"</P>
<p align=left>He ran down the street, breaking through the door of the
Tendo home and dashed into the dining room. He found Ranma
preparing another ki-blast toward Ichiro Hibiki, who was
crawling out from under the broken porch. Nodoka was rushing
out toward Ichiro, screaming for Ranma to stop.</P>
<p align=left>"RANMA SAOTOME!" Ranko-kun intoned. "CUT THAT CRAP OUT!"</P>
<p align=left>He leapt between his brother and their parents, the girl's
uniform entirely too small on his body.</P>
<p align=left>"Both have the curses?" Nodoka breathed.</P>
<p align=left>"Out of the way, Ko-chan!" Ranma roared. "I'm going to kill
that bastard for hurting you and Nabiki!"</P>
<p align=left>"You'll have to go through me first, Niichan! It's not
anyone's fault he's our father! Genma was gone all the time
and our mother got lonely!"</P>
<p align=left>Complete silence held court over the Saotome siblings and
their parents. Ranma dropped his hands, staring at Ranko-
kun, his mother, and the man his sister had just called
'father'.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka bit her lip, placing her hand over her mouth. (My
daughter called me 'mother' ... my daughter called me
'mother'!)</P>
<p align=left>Ranko-kun lowered his own hands from the prepared ki-blast
and stood straight.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga's and Jiro's dad is ... *our* father, too?"</P>
<p align=left>"Who's Jiro? Another son?" Ichiro asked.</P>
<p align=left>"No," Ranko-kun said. "That's Pantyhose's new name. Jiro
Hibiki."</P>
<p align=left>He nodded, smiling. "That was the name I wanted to give him
- my own father's name."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma looked from his mother, to Ichiro, to Ranko-kun, then
to his own Akane, and, just coming from the clinic, Jiro
under his umbrella, and Nabiki right behind.</P>
<p align=left>"Wait a minute. You *didn't* get Ko-chan or Nabiki pregnant?"</P>
<p align=left>"Where on the Gods' green Earth did you get *that* idea,
Niichan?" Ranko-kun asked, giggling.</P>
<p align=left>"You and Nabiki were talking and - "</P>
<p align=left>"And you assumed - bwahahahaha!" His currently-male sister
doubled over in laughter and added, "Niichan, we were
talking about Ichiro being our father!"</P>
<p align=left>"What???" Akane asked. "Oneechan ... is *your* sister?!?"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki blushed, replying, "Ichiro ... might be ... my father."</P>
<p align=left>Akane gazed in wide-eyed shock. "Our mother ... and Hibiki-
otosan?"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro shook his head, beginning to feel dizzy. "Sounds like a
flippin' soap opera!" (Nabiki?? Does that mean - that time
in the love motel - ??)</P>
<p align=left>"It does, though, dear," Kasumi answered, a kettle of hot
water in hand and giving it to Ranko-kun.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro turned, smiling, and picked her up in his arms, kissing
her cheek. "A sign really did hit me - " He paused, placing
her back on her feet and his face sobered. " - and I really
feel it again ... "</P>
<p align=left>Jiro's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell over
Kasumi.</P>
<p align=left>"We've got to get him back to the clinic!" Akane called.
"Ko-chan, you have some explaining to do." She looked over
at Kasumi. (And so do you. He was being awful familiar with
you, oneechan.)</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane picked up Jiro, as Nabiki looked for a tarp.</P>
<p align=left>"I know," Ranko sighed, turning to her family. "Nodoka,
Ichiro-otosan, Ranma ... we all have to talk."</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Thirteen</P>
<p align=left>Tofu looked over the unconscious Jiro Hibiki, examined him
with a variety of means (both mundane and mystical), and
prescribed his treatment:</P>
<p align=left>"Throw him in the canal."</P>
<p align=left>"I beg your pardon?" his father Ichiro said.</P>
<p align=left>"His other form has regenerative properties - and we lack
the room to keep him here in that state."</P>
<p align=left>There was a bit of disagreement over who would get the honor
(he may have been related by blood to several people in the
room, but he was still a jerk, and tossing him in the canal
appealed to them), but finally Ichiro tossed him out the
window.</P>
<p align=left>The bulk of the Nerima Wrecking Crew was in the lobby of
Tofu's clinic, and six were very nervous: Ranma and Ranko
Saotome, and their mother Nodoka; Nabiki Tendo; Ryoga
Hibiki; and the reason for their nervousness ... Ichiro
Hibiki.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu put his hand on Ranko's shoulder. "Perhaps all of you
would like to use my office?"</P>
<p align=left>They nodded. "Arigato," Ichiro said quietly.</P>
<p align=left>As they filed back, Akane took a few steps forward. Ranma
looked back at her and held out his hand. Akane lit up with
a smile and came up besides him, her hand fitting into his.</P>
<p align=left>Whatever awaited, they would be together for it. Nothing
else mattered.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka settled in the chair in front of the desk while
Ichiro took the other next to her. Akane, Ranma, and Ranko
sat in a row on the doctor's desk while Nabiki leaned
against the door, arms folded in protective stance. Ryoga
sat quietly on the floor, looking up at his father.</P>
<p align=left>They looked at each other. Nodoka noting that Ranma held
Akane's hand and Ranko linked her arm through her brother's
arm. She smiled nervously, remembering being called 'mother'
by the girl - er, boy - whatever. Still ...</P>
<p align=left>"Where shall we begin?" Ichiro asked.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma bit his lip, then replied, "How about the beginning?
Who are Ko-Chan's and my real parents?"</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka blushed, touching the handle of the katana at her
side. Ranko felt her brother tense and she squeezed him in
protection.</P>
<p align=left>"I think we really should begin with this," his mother
answered. "Leading to the man I should not have allowed to
claim you as his son."</P>
<p align=left>"Good start, Auntie Nodoka," Akane stated. "This is all
Genma's fault!"</P>
<p align=left>"It's nobody's fault, Oneechan," Ranko added softly. "It
just happened."</P>
<p align=left>"Why couldn't you tell me, Ko-chan?" Ranma asked. "I want to
know what happened to Mom to drive her into *his* arms."</P>
<p align=left>She turned to him, seeing her own face in his. "It's a long
story, Niichan."</P>
<p align=left>"And none of it's pretty," their mother added.</P>
<p align=left>He shrugged, wrapping an arm around Akane and pulling her
closer to him. "Go ahead. I have to know this."</P>
<p align=left>"A moment," Nabiki interrupted. "Ichiro, would you consent
to a genetic testing with the rest of us to straighten this
mess out of who's who?"</P>
<p align=left>"Biki!" Ranko scolded her sharply. "Wait a minute before - "</P>
<p align=left>"I have to know!" Nabiki cried. "I don't want to be known as
'Nabiki Hibiki'!"</P>
<p align=left>Akane tried to suppress her giggles. "I wondered why Mama
named you that."</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up, Imouto-chan. Please, Ichiro! Much as I like you, I
have my reasons for not wanting to be related to you."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko and Ranma blinked for several seconds. "Gee," the
brother said. "All this time, we didn't want to related to
*our* father, either. Our *alleged* father."</P>
<p align=left>"Stupid panda!" his sister growled.</P>
<p align=left>"And a disgrace to humanity!" Akane added.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro turned to Nabiki, nodding sadly. "As you wish, young
lady. Though I'd be honored to have you as my daughter."</P>
<p align=left>"You have enough already, Ichiro-otosan," Ranko reminded
him. "If not by blood, then by marriage, I believe. Nodoka?
Could you tell Niichan of what lead to our birth?"</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka smiled gently, wiping her eyes. "It began while Genma
was on a training mission, while we were engaged ... "</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Creature turned human lay silently on a hospital bed,
still restrained by the Bridle of Anubis. Its thoughts
revolved around the fight, seeing the flaws in his dealings
with the little creatures. The Warden was close, it could
smell the yeti scent. But it could do nothing about it.</P>
<p align=left>The sorcerer was healing it. Speaking softly and pressing
certain points on its human body to decrease the pain and
speed its recovery.</P>
<p align=left>It wondered what they planned to do with it. The bridle had
to come off. Soon.</P>
<p align=left>Then they will all die.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>In Jiro's old room, Kasumi sat silently in lotus position,
Deep in meditation.</P>
<p align=left>It had bothered her since that afternoon. Oh, she wasn't
upset that he kissed her or that she enjoyed it, and that
their behavior was so scandalously indecent as to make a
monk blush. None of that. </P>
<p align=left>It was what she said to Hibiki-otosan concerning said boy
and herself.</P>
<p align=left>It had surprised her, these words. They weren't anything her
carefully-built sweet-yet-simple Kasumi persona would say.
These were words that a woman confident of the future would
say.</P>
<p align=left>But *was* she?</P>
<p align=left>She was aware that having the gift of their mother's Sight
sometimes entered her subconscious without her knowing and
guided her word or actions against what she thought was the
proper response. It used to alarm her. Later, it turned out
to make less trouble and work for her.</P>
<p align=left>She was a shoulder to cry on and a healer, nothing more.
That was her intention with Ichiro's son. To heal him, to
let him speak and cry and rage without being ignored or
laughed at or pitied. She felt his pain ... and offered to
heal him, to help him find himself ... she had no intention
of falling in love with him ...
</P>
<p align=left>But she had. Their loneliness, though different, reminded
them that they would always be alone. It had gotten to the
point in which she almost believed she *was* the sweet and
simple girl persona, the obedient daughter and shy older
sister.</P>
<p align=left>(But what of Doctor Tofu?) a voice from inside asked.</P>
<p align=left>No, he never felt right. He never told her he loved her,
always dithered about it, acted like a complete idiot
whenever she was around. She accepted it as a crush, and
gently ignored it. Anyone that had asked, she only replied
that she felt pity for him. He had to be more emotionally
mature for her, not react like he had a glop of sticky rice
in his head.</P>
<p align=left>(So why Jiro?) the voice asked.</P>
<p align=left>Why Jiro indeed? Was it just the loneliness? The need to be
needed and loved in return? Someone who is strong and
brilliant and needs the gentle touch of a woman's love to
make him more human?
</P>
<p align=left>She felt the vision slip silently into her head. She once
read a book by a singer-storyteller that described visions
as bubbles floating around to be picked up and 'popped' into
someone's head. She admitted it felt like it at times.</P>
<p align=left>The vision was of Jiro, a little older, holding a baby in
his arms. The newborn was sleeping as he stared at it in awe
and pride. (His baby? Who is the mother?) She hung onto the
vision, holding her breath. She watched him move to the bed
where the mother lay, her dark unbound hair spread over the
pillows.</P>
<p align=left>The vision wavered, and she clung her consciousness tighter
onto it. Her focus shifted to the hospital bracelet the
mother wore, and she caught two words before the vision
faded from her Third Eye.</P>
<p align=left>She felt back on the floor, breathing hard, running the
image through her mind again and again and again.</P>
<p align=left>The bracelet had read 'Kasumi Hibiki'.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
"Tadaima!" Soun called out as he entered the house.</P>
<p align=left>No one appeared to be in. Not even Kasumi - although she had
left some cold cuts and some sake on the kitchen table.</P>
<p align=left>The dining room was a wreck, and the back porch was
shredded. It looked like a ki-blast of some sort.
</P>
<p align=left>"The boy is back!" he wailed. "At last our houses will be
united!"</P>
<p align=left>A panda trudged in through the hole in the wall. Ignoring
the wailing Soun, he went to the kitchen. A minute later,
Genma came back and put some fresh sake before his old
partner.</P>
<p align=left>Soun stopped crying, grabbed up the sake, and drank it.</P>
<p align=left>"No sign of my ingrate son," Genma said. "And I got cheated
out of a duck dinner, too."</P>
<p align=left>"He's been here!" Soun said, pointing to the wrecked back
porch.</P>
<p align=left>Genma looked over the damage. "Yes, this was my boy."</P>
<p align=left>"And Nodoka's been here almost constantly!" Soun cried in
joy.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes!" Genma cheered. "She's probably marched them off at
sword point to get married already!"</P>
<p align=left>"Then the money comes flooding in!" Soun cheered.</P>
<p align=left>The two fathers danced around tossing confetti.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akane and Ranma, and even Ryoga, felt some pity for Nodoka
after hearing her tale of a 'shotgun' marriage, just seven
months before giving birth, and the loneliness and misery
afterwards as Genma spent her dowry before Ranma's birth,
reducing them to near-poverty.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka wept openly when she told of being disinherited by
her father while she stayed with Genma, trapped by honor to
stay in her loveless marriage.</P>
<p align=left>"Disinherited?" Nabiki asked. "But you were provided for as
part of Ranma's inheritance."</P>
<p align=left>"What inheritance?" Nodoka asked.</P>
<p align=left>"The Hitoshi Matsuhara Trust, which Ranma inherits on his
twenty-fifth birthday ... or when he marries."</P>
<p align=left>"Who's Hitoshi Matsuhara?" Ranma asked. "And why would he
leave anything to me?"</P>
<p align=left>"He was my father," Nodoka answered. "Your grandfather."</P>
<p align=left>"And he left his money to you in order to keep Genma's
hands off of it," Nabiki said. "And he and Daddy have been
planning to steal it for years."</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki-chan," Nodoka said. "My husband has done many ...
questionable things -"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ranko began coughing, said coughing sounding
suspiciously like 'bullshit-bullshit-bullshit'.</P>
<p align=left>"- but I doubt he would steal Ranma's inheritance!"</P>
<p align=left>"He'd wrap him in fish and throw him into a pit of cats,"
Akane commented. "The bastard would do anything!"</P>
<p align=left>"Now that's a bit extreme, Akane-chan," Nodoka commented. "I
don't think he'd do that!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko said nothing, her eyes wide in disbelief. (SHE DIDN'T
*KNOW*????)</P>
<p align=left>"Actually, Mom," Ranma volunteered, "He *did* do that - when
I was five."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka's eyes widened in shock. "Wh-why would he do such a
thing?"</P>
<p align=left>"It's the training method for the neko-ken," Ichiro explained.
"A legendary and supposedly invincible martial arts technique.
But no one's survived the training to master it in
generations."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ranko raised their hands. "Meet two," they said
together.</P>
<p align=left>"And there were ... 'complications' concerning the after-
effects," Ranko added.</P>
<p align=left>"Like Ranma's pathological fear of cats," Akane said.</P>
<p align=left>"Or Ko-chan's tendency to think she's a cat sometimes,"
Ranma added.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka had to sit down in shock.</P>
<p align=left>"Um - Oneechan?" Akane asked. "While Daddy may have been
pushing this marriage thing, I can't imagine him stealing
from us. After all, a few thousand yen or even a million -"</P>
<p align=left>"Try thirteen billion," Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>"YEEK!" Ranko cried.</P>
<p align=left>"That's a lot," Ranma understated. (Money meant little to
him, and he had little idea of its value.)</P>
<p align=left>"Wow," Ryoga commented. (He had a better idea of the value
of money, but he was medicated.)</P>
<p align=left>Akane shook her head. (Daddy *would* steal that much! Heck,
*I* might steal *that* much!)</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma ... Ranko ... " Nodoka said quietly. "Forgive me ...
please ..." She began crying softly.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko looked at the despairing woman before her. Was this
the monster she'd hated all this time? Or was that just
something she wanted to see? She should be grinning in
triumph now - the woman who had hurt her and her Ranma was
broken before her. But the sight didn't make her feel
triumphant.</P>
<p align=left>Both siblings slipped off the desk and knelt on each side of
her, wrapping their arms around her. She held their arms,
sobbing gently as they held her.</P>
<p align=left>"Mom, you didn't know," Ranma replied. "It's okay. Really."</P>
<p align=left>"I forgive you, Mother," Ranko added softly. "Please forgive
me."</P>
<p align=left>"One thing remains," she sniffed, holding up the katana. Her
children released her and moved back as she stood up and
slowly unwrapped the blade. Akane moved to Ranma's side as
Nodoka approached the desk, holding the sword high above her
head.</P>
<p align=left>She swung the flat side of the blade down, breaking the
weapon in two. She turned with the handle in her hand,
gazing at her children, seeing both pride and humility
balanced in their twin faces, echoes of her and Ichiro's
faces. She threw the handle to the floor and stated, "I no
longer hold the seppuku pledge, for it was never your real
father who made me honor it. Can you truly forgive this
foolish woman's mistakes?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ranko looked at each other. "She did apologize,
Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko nodded. "That was all I asked. What of you?"</P>
<p align=left>He looked at Ichiro. "I don't know this Old Man that well,
but I can live with it."</P>
<p align=left>"Dad's an okay guy," Ryoga piped up. "But it looks like
we'll be finding brothers and sisters all over the country
now."</P>
<p align=left>The twins turned back to each other and grinned, then pulled
their mother between them, holding her close.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma looked over at his Akane and waved her over. Holding
all three, mother, sister, and lover, he felt complete for
the first time in his life.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Ryoga!" Ranma said. "Think you can stand having me as
a brother?"</P>
<p align=left>"It's the thought of having Nabiki as a *sister* that scares
me!"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga hardly felt it when Nabiki broke a chair over his head.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari stomped through the night, ignoring the rain, scimitar
still in hand.</P>
<p align=left>While the Rage Essence had run out of her system during the
pursuit of Mousse-oshidori, she was still in a very nasty
mood.</P>
<p align=left>Her usual method of handling nasty moods (ignoring them and
shoving them down inside herself) wasn't working anymore. It
was as if a cork holding in years of anger and resentment
had popped out, allowing the black tide of emotion to spill
on everything.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga you bastard," she snarled as she approached the
clinic, "I'm gonna *cut it off*!! Not that you were very
good with it in the first place! 'I guess I'm just nervous,
Akari-chan' - I got your 'nervous' right here!</P>
<p align=left>"First you - then my bastard grandfather and his trying to
run my whole damn life from his sick bed! 'Sick bed' - HA!
He's as strong as a horse! He's just lazy! We'll see how
'sick' he is when I start walloping him with an axe handle!"</P>
<p align=left>She noticed the sign over the street - 'Neko-han-ten'.</P>
<p align=left>"But first," she growled, "A certain braless slut's gonna
learn a lesson about man-stealing!</P>
<p align=left>Kicking in the glass front door, she stomped in, ready to
kick ass.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne, half-asleep and not having her contacts in, took
Akari out in two seconds and pogoed back to bed.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
</P>
<p align=left>"Ow!"</P>
<p align=left>"Stop being a baby, Niichan."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma stuck his finger in his mouth, soothing the pain of
the blood sampler that was applied on his finger. Ranko
slipped the few droplets of his blood into a vial as the
doctor had taught her.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hmm?"</P>
<p align=left>"How did Nabiki find out about our grandfather's will?"</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled, "Money was attached to it. You know she has a
nose for *that*."</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah. So, what does it mean?"</P>
<p align=left>"It means that you get a whole bunch of money when you get
married to Akane-chan - or you turn twenty-five. From what
I understand, our grandfather was a crotchety old bastard
that only had a fondness for mother and you. He must have
either known about Ichiro-otosan or believed you'd turn out
better than Genma, because he left *everything* to you."</P>
<p align=left>"Me?" he asked, confused. "But you're my sister. You'd get
something, too, right?"</P>
<p align=left>She shrugged, taking his finger away from his mouth and
wiping it with an alcohol pad. "You can probably alter it to
that once you marry. I think we should leave Nabiki to take
care of that, since she knows money better than the rest of
us."</P>
<p align=left>"As long as she gets a cut," he squeezed her hand.</P>
<p align=left>"Of course, Niichan," she confirmed, smiling. She locked to
his eyes and asked, "Are you really okay with Ichiro being
our father?"</P>
<p align=left>"Not like I have a choice, right?" He rubbed his thumb over
the back of her hand. "I knew Mom wasn't happy with Oyaji -
I mean, Genma. Now I know why. What made you change your
mind about Mom?"</P>
<p align=left>She said nothing for a moment, brushing his hair to the
side. "I think it was because I realized that I felt
horrible for hating her. Sick, really. If I truly hated her,
I wouldn't be bothered by it, but I was. She was trying, in
her back-assward way, to make things right, and I was being
thick-headed about it."</P>
<p align=left>"Thick-headed? Gee, where'd you get that from?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hush, Niichan. So, I just talked it out, hearing myself
explain it to Ono-kun. It just boiled down to wanting my
mother, even if she were wrong in some things. Then, I saw
how shocked she was when she found out about the Neko-ken
... at some level, I assumed that she had *known* about all
those horrors we've been through. She just proved she
didn't. I was wrong, Niichan, I was wrong."</P>
<p align=left>He nodded, wiping her tears with his fingers. "Listen,
Imouto-chan, life's too short to be hating anyone. I've
learned loving is more important. Nothing's perfect, but
it's the way it is for some reason or other. Just go on
with your life and try to keep the black stuff out of your
soul."</P>
<p align=left>"Who said that?"</P>
<p align=left>"I did. I learned it from my first real friend and lover.
You, little sister."</P>
<p align=left>She smiled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Well, we're not Saotomes, darling. Not by blood, anyhow."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, I'm keeping the name - got used to it. And I still
want to marry Akane, arranged marriage or not."</P>
<p align=left>"You will. Nothing is going to stop it." She grinned,
kissing his cheek. "Now, what are we going to do about the
Old Bastards stealing our inheritance?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma grinned, his eyebrow dipping low in evil thought.
"Something I always wanted to do ... But we'll need help."</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>It was late when the rain ceased and the various people left
the clinic and back to their homes after blood samples were
taken. Ryoga allowed Shampoo to take him to meet with the
Old Ghoul and Chibi-Happi, soon to be given an Amazon name
at last.</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka and Ichiro made their way to her house, while Nabiki
accompanied Akane and Ranma to pick up the magic mirror,
then home to the Tendo Dojo.</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu touched Ranko's sleeve, stopping her from
following her family out.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, Ono?" she asked.</P>
<p align=left>He cleared his throat, blushing gently. "I - I ... um, I
wish this was easier to say ... "</P>
<p align=left>She blushed, lowering her eyes. "I should apologize ... "</P>
<p align=left>"No, no one should apologize ... " he stated, lifting her
chin up with a finger. "Ko-chan, these past few days have
been the most terrifying and, yet, the most wonderful time
of my life."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani?" she looked up at him.</P>
<p align=left>"I've led a ... lonely life, Ko-Chan. I've had my studies,
my patients, some ... occasional excitement, but not much
else." He took her hand. "When we kissed -"</P>
<p align=left>"Ono, please -" she pleaded, panic in her expression and
voice.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan - when we kissed ... it was *right*! It was
supposed to be! I can *feel* it!"</P>
<p align=left>"But - you - I - I'm just a silly girl!" (Not even that, a
freak of magic!)</P>
<p align=left>"I'm just a lonely man. Perhaps it's just an infatuation
with a beautiful and intelligent younger woman ... but I
want to try. Please."</P>
<p align=left>"But - what if - we get hurt? I *want* to, but I don't want
to hurt you." She looked down sheepishly. (I don't want to
get hurt, either.)</P>
<p align=left>"I'm willing to risk it, if you'll let me."</P>
<p align=left>She was more scared than she had been before. She wanted to
tell him to stop it, she wanted to run and hide.</P>
<p align=left>She looked in his eyes, finding him as scared as she was ...</P>
<p align=left>The second kiss was different from the first. The first had
been pure animal energy. This one was warmer, fuller.</P>
<p align=left>When the kiss broke, Ranko and Ono gazed at each other,
trying to memorize every detail of each other's faces.</P>
<p align=left>"We'll go slowly," he said. "I won't pressure you."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded. "Okay. Slowly."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko didn't go home that night.</P>
<p align=left>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * </P>
<p align=left>Chapter Fourteen</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane thought the Ying-Yang on her door was both
appropriate and wonderful, and had slept peacefully and
soundly after the evening's adventures. They rose together,
showered and descended the stairs together that morning for
breakfast. </P>
<p align=left>Kasumi was dishing out the rice as Nabiki, with a toothbrush
hanging out of her mouth, settled at the table as well. She
looked around, seeing Ranma stuffing his face while
simultaneously doting on Akane, Akane doting on him in
return (Nabiki, of course, being repulsed by both), Kasumi
being Kasumi (though more thoughtful), and the Old Men
nursing their hangovers upstairs.</P>
<p align=left>Someone was missing.</P>
<p align=left>"Where's Ko-chan?" Nabiki asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Still sleepin' in, I bet," Ranma replied between mouthfuls.</P>
<p align=left>"She didn't come home last night," Kasumi answered. "Her bed
hasn't been slept in."</P>
<p align=left>"Humph, wonder what happened," Nabiki mused, pouring herself
some orange juice. Ranko had told her that genetic testing
took about ten days to come back from the labs. Meanwhile,
she wanted to keep the possibility of her father being
Ichiro 'Pants-Dropper' Hibiki quiet.</P>
<p align=left>"Isn't anyone else alarmed she isn't home?"</P>
<p align=left>The front door opened and slammed, followed by a sweet
humming. The teenagers all looked at each other, then stood
up and poked their heads out of the dining room doorway into
the foyer.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko slipped her shoes off, humming dreamily to herself. </P>
<p align=left>"'You make me feel ... '" she sang softly.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki noted the wrinkled school uniform and mussed hair
with a single lotus blossom tangled amid the strands.</P>
<p align=left>"'You make me feel ... '"</P>
<p align=left>She ascended the staircase slowly, ignoring them, lost in
her own world.</P>
<p align=left>"'You make me feel like a na-tur-al woman ... '"</P>
<p align=left>Akane stared in silent surprise as her future sister-in-law
disappeared from the landing. Nabiki met her eyes, and
Kasumi stated, "Oh, my."</P>
<p align=left>"What's with Ko-Chan?" Ranma asked, still sucking down a
bowl of rice.</P>
<p align=left>"From the evidence, I'd say she was playing doctor with the
Doctor last night," Nabiki remarked.</P>
<p align=left>"'Playing doctor'?" Ranma repeated, letting it sink in. He
dropped the bowl and raced up the stairs. "KO-CHAN!!!"</P>
<p align=left>"How would he know about 'playing doctor,' Imouto-chan?"
Nabiki asked, smiling sunnily at Akane.</P>
<p align=left>"Shut up, Nabiki," Akane replied, blushing furiously.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my," Kasumi repeated. (Ko-chan and Doctor Tofu! I knew
she was attracted, but this is rather sudden ...)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Jiro-kaijuu walked out of the canal, terrifying some old
woman who had been cleaning off her sidewalk. Doctor Tofu
met him by the clinic with a large kettle of water.</P>
<p align=left>"Good morning, Jiro-san!" Tofu said - almost sang, actually.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro was not a morning person, and *anyone* who was that
cheerful that early was, in his opinion, a Bad Thing.
Besides, having your skull knit at unnatural speeds in the
night made one cranky.</P>
<p align=left>"ROAR!!"</P>
<p align=left>Tofu was unmoved by the bellow, even though his hair was
blown back and the windows in the clinic shook. Casually, he
tossed the steaming water on the monster.</P>
<p align=left>"Feeling better?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah," Jiro replied. "Thanks, doc. I usually don't get so
banged up so quickly -"</P>
<p align=left>"Unusual circumstances, Jiro-san."</P>
<p align=left>Jiro was finding himself more and more comfortable with his
new name. He almost smiled. And not one of his usual
sarcastic nasty smiles either. "Yeah. Heck, I even had this
horrid dream that Nabiki Tendo was my *sister*!"</P>
<p align=left>"We won't know until the blood tests come back."</P>
<p align=left>"NANI?!?" Jiro cried, jumping in the air, his eyes bugging
out.</P>
<p align=left>"It seems to be a possibility."</P>
<p align=left>"NO!! NO!! NO!!" Jiro cried, pulling on his hair and falling
to his knees.</P>
<p align=left>"Is something wrong, Jiro-san?"</P>
<p align=left>But Jiro was running up the street, too busy to listen to
questions.
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Awakening in the school clock tower, Tatewaki Kuno looked
over the spoils of war, his trophies of conquest.</P>
<p align=left>Panties, bras, pantyhose, stockings, camisoles, leotards,
negligees, et cetera. He ran his fingers through then,
feeling the residue of female force strengthening him. If
this was the source of Saotome's power, he thought, then it
was little wonder that even the mighty Blue Thunder could
seldom defeat him! </P>
<p align=left>But soon school would begin, and the magnificent Ranko
Saotome would arrive. He would display his manly might, and
she would give herself to him, body and soul! (Especially
body!)</P>
<p align=left>(KUNO THE MAGNIFICENT stands in a heroic pose, a sack of
undergarments over his shoulder, a brilliant sunbeam display
behind him. RANKO, dressed in a semi-translucent harem-girl
outfit, gazes at him adoringly.)</P>
<p align=left>(RANKO: Oh Kuno-sempai, you impossibly-virile hunk of man! I
am YOURS! Do with me as you will! Ravish me!! PLEASE!!)
(KUNO THE MAGNIFICENT: Well, if you insist ...)</P>
<p align=left>[In the interest of public morals, the authors will not
relate any more of this daydream. Except to mention that
Popsicles are involved.]</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>(KABOOM!!) </P>
<p align=left>The fragments of wall showered the assembled Tendo's, who
stared at the hysterical Hibiki who just burst into the
house.</P>
<p align=left>"NABIKI!! IT'S NOT TRUE!! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!! YAAAAAHHHHH!!"</P>
<p align=left>(SLAP!!)</P>
<p align=left>Jiro shook his head. "Thanks, Nabiki. I needed that."</P>
<p align=left>"No problem. Sign here."</P>
<p align=left>"What's that?"</P>
<p align=left>"An I.O.U. for one thousand yen for services rendered."</P>
<p align=left>Jiro nodded. "Shoulda known ..." </P>
<p align=left>From upstairs, a hung-over Soun yelled out, "BE QUIET! HAVE
SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD!!" The volume of his own shout
caused Soun's skull to shatter (from his viewpoint) and sent
him back to dreamland.</P>
<p align=left>"Hi, Kasumi-chan," Jiro said casually. Kasumi giggled.</P>
<p align=left>He turned to Nabiki. "Oh, Nabiki, I heard the silliest thing
from Tofu-sensei. Something about a blood test -"</P>
<p align=left>"Afraid so, Jiro-san." Nabiki shrugged.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro jumped up in shock, his hands clutching his head, his
eyes bugged out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"</P>
<p align=left>"It's just a possibility," Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!" Jiro screamed. "THAT BASTARD! HE'S
NOT THERE MOST OF MY CHILDHOOD, AND THEN HE DOES *THIS*!!
*AGAIN*!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro-kun," Kasumi said gently. "Please calm down! Whatever
the problem is, losing your temper won't help anything!"</P>
<p align=left>She put her hand on his shoulder, and the anger drained from
him. "Sorry, Kasumi-chan. I shouldn't let my anger erupt
here." He got an innocent look on his face. "Anyone know
where Good Ol' Ichiro hangs out now, do you?"</P>
<p align=left>"I believe he's staying at the Saotome place in Juuban." She
took out her address book and flipped through it.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro snatched up the book and kissed her on the cheek.
"Arigato, Kasumi-chan! I'll be back - as soon as I finish
with Ichiro!"</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro-kun!" Kasumi called out as Jiro ran out of the house.
"Get back here!"</P>
<p align=left>"Don't blame him!" Nabiki yelled. "It's not his fault you
and I slept together! He might not even *be* my father!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki suddenly remembered that there were witnesses. She
turned to her sisters, noting the looks of shock and
incredulity on their faces.</P>
<p align=left>"Oopsie."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranma checked Kasumi's room, then the guest room. Failing to
find Ranko in either, he knocked gently at the bathroom
door.</P>
<p align=left>"Hmm?"</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan? Are you ... decent?"</P>
<p align=left>"Enough for you to stay in the bathroom, Niichan, just stay
in there."</P>
<p align=left>"Okay," he replied. He entered the bathroom, feeling the
steam seep through the other door as he heard the water
running. The water ceased and he heard her splash water
gently in the furo. He swallowed hard.</P>
<p align=left>"Uh, I have to ask you something," he stated.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes?"</P>
<p align=left>"Um ... why didn't you come home last night?"</P>
<p align=left>She giggled. "I spent the night with Ono-kun."</P>
<p align=left>"Uh-huh," Ranma replied slowly. He flashed briefly back to
the last few days in the attic and managed to not scream.
"And what happened?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my. Are you jealous, Niichan?" she chuckled to herself.</P>
<p align=left>He blushed down to his hairline. "Of course not!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, really?" she asked. He heard her rise from the water
and he suddenly found the door open.
</P>
<p align=left>She stood in front of him, nude and wet. She smiled impishly
up at him, watching him sweatdrop.</P>
<p align=left>"Eep!" he squeaked.</P>
<p align=left>"Figured it was best to tell you face to face, Niichan," she
said, touching her finger to his lip to quiet him. "I'm in
love with Ono. I was trying to deny it, but I can't anymore.
Last night, spent in wonderful embrace ... "</P>
<p align=left>"I'm going to kill him!" Ranma stated flatly. He spun around
to leave, but found Ranko had jumped him, holding him back
with her legs wrapped around him and her hand hanging onto
the doorframe.</P>
<p align=left>"Don't you dare kill him, Niichan!!" she roared, squeezing
her thighs around his waist. "You're the first man I'd ever
loved, and now I've found Ono! Please let me have this bit
of happiness!"</P>
<p align=left>He pulled, causing her grip to slip and both fell to the
floor of the bathroom. </P>
<p align=left>"Forget it, Imouto-chan! You're only a week old! Nobody is
going to defile my sister!"</P>
<p align=left>"Defile?" she sat up, looking down at him. "What do you mean
by that?"</P>
<p align=left>"Well, why else would an older man have a younger woman
spend the night with him? See? I've paid attention! So tell
me if that jerk raped you or not!" </P>
<p align=left>
She frowned, getting up and stomping him in the gut as she
turned to find a robe. She pulled it on, allowing him time
to stand. She whirled around and held his face with her
hands, their noses inches from the other's.</P>
<p align=left>"Listen, Niichan-baka," she told him quietly and firmly.
"Ono did not take advantage of me. I am still maiden. Our
clothes remained on and there was ... some necking. The
night was spent in talk over tea. We read and argued and
cuddled and mused. It has to be the most wonderful night in
my life!"</P>
<p align=left>He took this all in, staring back into her intense blue
eyes. He could see why the doc would be attracted to his Ko-
chan ... but ... but she was *his*, first!</P>
<p align=left>(But she's your sister, you pervert,) a nasty voice inside
him scolded him sharply. (Not to mention you're Akane's guy!)</P>
<p align=left>He took a deep breath. "Ko-chan ... are you *sure* about the
doc?"</P>
<p align=left>"My darling, it *feels* right. More than anything else." She
stood up and kissed his mouth dryly. "Now, you have school
soon. You and Akane and Nabiki need to get ready. Hinako-
sensei put me on probation until mother and I can figure out
a straight story to tell her about my education."</P>
<p align=left>"Okay," he breathed deeply, feeling his heart race. He had
to avoid these type of situations with her. She was more
intense in the flesh than in his mind, and any man would be
driven to distraction by her whole being. </P>
<p align=left>He left the bathroom, closing the door behind him and
letting his breath out at last. He looked down and scowled.
(What are *you* standing up for, you blind bastard? There's
nothing for *you* here!)</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi almost ran into him in the hallway. "Ranma!" she said
breathlessly. "There might be some trouble!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Nekohanten prepared for another day, somewhat slowly
since Mousse seemed to have contracted numerous bumps,
bruises, and contusions, and had an arm in a sling.</P>
<p align=left>"{What happened to you, Duck-Boy?}" Shampoo asked playfully. </P>
<p align=left>His mumbled reply wasn't entirely clear, something about
farm-girls with fetishes and cannibal pandas. Shampoo
shrugged and decided it wasn't any of her business.</P>
<p align=left>"SHAMPOO!" Cologne called out.</P>
<p align=left>"{Bloody hell,}" she muttered. "{Can't the Crone wait? We
have the morning commuter rush hitting soon!}" She put down
the vegetables she'd been preparing and went out to the
dining room. "{What is it, Cologne?}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne looked at her great-granddaughter sharply. Such
familiarity to a Matriarch bordered on insult ... but not
sufficiently for even a mild rap in the head. "{Child,
you've become rather forward lately,}" she began ominously.
"{And you should remember to adopt a proper posture of
respect. When we return to the village, you will have to
unlearn much of this outsider informality.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Oh yes,} Shampoo tried to interrupt. "{About that -}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne ignored her. "{Where is the Son-In-Law?}"</P>
<p align=left>It took Shampoo a second to realize she meant Ryoga. "{He's
in the back room, asleep. He'd get lost if he tried to go
home at night by himself.}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne nodded. "{Well, then, a simple sleeping potion, and
we'll be able to take him to the ship and begin our journey
home. The 'Mayeda Maru' has docked in Tokyo Bay, and will
leave for the Northern Shadow Port soon. It would be best to
return by that route - we wouldn't want to bother the
Glorious People's Customs Officials.}" She snickered at the
thought; the Communists, in their eagerness to control
people's lives at every level, left more holes for smuggling
than the Imperials or even the Republic ever did.</P>
<p align=left>"{I think not,}" Shampoo said.</P>
<p align=left>"Hm?"</P>
<p align=left>"{Ryoga has stated that he needs time to sort out his
feelings. I intend to give him that time.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{He can do that in Joketsuzoku,}" Cologne stated
imperiously.</P>
<p align=left>"{No.}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne was shocked. Mousse stuck his head out the kitchen
door, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was
eavesdropping.</P>
<p align=left>"{What??}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I said 'No'. Here I stay. You and Mousse can return to
Joketsuzoku. I stay here with Ryoga and my son.}"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne looked at her great-granddaughter appraisingly. The
fawning adoration she'd encouraged was gone, replaced with a
fire and pride worthy of a Matriarch. </P>
<p align=left>"{So, child -}"</P>
<p align=left>"{My name is Xian Pu, Matriarch Ko Lon,}" Shampoo said
harshly. "{I am a blooded warrior and a mother. Remember
that. While you can.}"</P>
<p align=left>Mousse gasped in horror, and Cologne could only stare
mutely. </P>
<p align=left>In ancient times, the first Nychezyu had long concluded that
while martial valor was essential to their survival, it was
not all that was necessary; strong and devious minds were
also needed. Thus they set up the complex Laws that governed
the Amazon Nation, from the rituals of Honorable Duels to
the Matriarch's Challenge. Any thug could batter her way to
power as a warlord, but it took a keen intellect to navigate
the paths and pitfalls of Amazon Law and become a Matriarch.</P>
<p align=left>The wording of Shampoo's statement was that of a warning
challenge, spoken as a superior to an inferior who has
overstepped her bounds. </P>
<p align=left>While a physical combat could normally decide the outcome,
since Cologne was a Matriarch, only the Matriarch's
Challenge was permissible.</P>
<p align=left>"{I remember,}" Cologne said coldly, completing the formula
for acceptance. "{As shall you. Mousse! Prepare!}" </P>
<p align=left>As Mousse rushed upstairs to get the essential trappings,
Cologne turned to Shampoo, looking deep into her eyes.
"{Take your man and your child, and leave this place. Return
in three days' time. By the sunset of the third day, you
will either be a Matriarch - or a slave.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo nodded and went upstairs.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne shook her head. (You are a century too young, great-
grandchild. What has possessed you to try this?)</P>
<p align=left>A moment later, Shampoo bounced downstairs, a bag in one
hand, and the infant on her chest in a carrier. She had
evidentially packed before she came down this morning.</P>
<p align=left>(No spur-of-the-moment whim is this. She planned it.) A
surge of pride swelled up in Cologne's withered chest. (It
would almost be worth becoming a slave if she won. Such
audacity ...) Cologne sighed. Luckily, Shampoo was young;
when she lost, she could probably pass the Challenge of
Freedom in seven years and become a Free Citizen again. The
Matriarch Glycerol had fought her way up from slavery to the
matriarchy in ancient times, and was revered as a saint.</P>
<p align=left>(Still ... I'm proud of your courage, and your audacity. I'm
looking forward to the day.)</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka settled next to Ichiro, both enjoying the quiet
morning in her garden. They were only dressed in their
sleeping robes, her red hair still mussed from the night's
passions. She felt alive again after all these years of
solitude and loneliness. Her children were her own again,
her lover was as delightful, her mind more at peace than
ever before in all her years of marriage.</P>
<p align=left>But, there was that problem concerning her husband's hand in
her son's path to manliness, as well as the inheritance her
father promised would be Ranma's when he became of age or
married at last. She made a note to ask the family lawyer
about adding Ranko to the bequest to insure her part of the
family wealth.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki had explained to her the details of her husband's
planned defrauding of Ranma. The major part of it hinged on
the fact that when Nodoka's father's will was read, Genma
had Nodoka stay home and recover from childbirth while he
went to the will-reading. Genma had told her that they had
been disinherited, and as a result, Nodoka was unaware of
the inheritance, and had believed that her father went to
his grave hating her. </P>
<p align=left>The conclusion was obvious; Genma had planned to abandon her
and steal her family's money when Ranma was just hours old.</P>
<p align=left>Genma *had* abandoned her, attempted to steal her family's
wealth, had abused her son, had lied repeatedly. Did she
want him as a husband anymore?</P>
<p align=left>"You look so serious, sweetheart," Ichiro said, interrupting
Nodoka's train of thought.</P>
<p align=left>"Just thinking about what Nabiki had mentioned about my
honored father's will and my children ... and my rotten
husband," she answered softly, shaking her head to clear the
anger her husband's deceit had brought up.</P>
<p align=left>"Money is only money, No-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"But it helps. And it's the principle. Genma had driven a
wedge between my father and myself the last days of his
life. Why? Because I believed I loved the coward. He told
me my father had disinherited my son and myself, and I was
angry with my father all these years for that lie." She
gazed down at her balled up fists, white and shaking with
barely controlled rage. "I could turn that bastard into
paste for driving my own children away from me as well!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro held her hands in his, forcing her to turn her body
to his and for their eyes to meet. "Nodoka, anger will not
solve it, nor will violence. It's time to take control of
life as I understand our children have done." He raised a
hand, caressing her face gently. "And anger does not suit
you, my dear friend."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded, breathing deeply to control her emotions. She
leaned forward and kissed his mouth in reassurance; his arms
rounded her, and both leaned back on the bench. Ichiro's
hands opened her robe, while she sighed in anticipation ...</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
*
<p align=left>Jiro ran down the street toward the Saotome place, his
thoughts jumbled, his anger at the fore.</P>
<p align=left>He was going to get some answers, then he was going to
pummel the Old Fart for daring to complicate his life
*again*! This was just like before in the village when he
was dating that girl Rose Petal, and he *hated* history
repeating itself!</P>
<p align=left>He jumped over the garden wall, and saw his father about to
have his way with Ranma and Ranko's mother.</P>
<p align=left>"YOU BASTARD!!!" he shrieked. "THAT'S WHAT GOT YOU IN
TROUBLE BEFORE, YOU HENTAI!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka screamed and rolled out from under Ichiro as Jiro's
foot made its way toward her partner's head. Ichiro grabbed
his son's ankle and slammed him face down in the gravel.</P>
<p align=left>"Good morning, son," he said calmly. "Is something wrong?"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro twisted his face around, allowing the gravel to settle
in one side of his mouth. "You *had* to muck up my life
*again*, you traveling boinkman!"</P>
<p align=left>"Could you please explain that a bit more clearly?"</P>
<p align=left>"NABIKI TENDO, YOU DAMN ONE-MAN SPERM BANK!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro raised his eyebrow in puzzlement as Nodoka still sat
on the ground in complete shock, both her robe and legs open
without thought.</P>
<p align=left>"JUST LIKE ROSE PETAL WHEN I WAS A KID!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro got a look of comprehension. "Oh. You and her."</P>
<p align=left>"YEAH, YOU IDIOT!"</P>
<p align=left>"I thought you and Kasumi -"</P>
<p align=left>"NABIKI WAS *BEFORE*!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro felt a bit of pride that his son would mess around
with two sisters. (Like father, like son ...) "Son, you
can't blame me for that - or Rose Petal. Remember, I told
you not to date her."</P>
<p align=left>"YOU NEVER SAID *WHY*!!"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm supposed to say, 'Don't date so-and-so, she's your
sister'?"</P>
<p align=left>"HELL YES!!"</P>
<p align=left>His father nodded, then replied, "Don't date Nabiki Tendo,
she may be your sister."</P>
<p align=left>Jiro roared and sent his fist toward his father's face.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro leaned back, caught his wrist, and sent Jiro into the
garden wall.</P>
<p align=left>"Son, how often have I told you about losing your temper
like that?"</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka could only blink as it got worse.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma came bounding over the other wall and halted in his
tracks as he saw his all-but-naked mother with her legs
spread open on the ground. He looked at Ichiro, then at the
hole Jiro had made, then back to Ichiro again.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not sure what's happening here, but I think *somebody*
needs to be hit!"</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro rolled his eyes and sighed. "Here we go again!"</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Fifteen</P>
<p align=left>As Nabiki went off to school, she heard the sound of Akane
shouting "Wait for me, baka!" faintly in the distance.</P>
<p align=left>Strange how things had changed so radically. Ranma and
Akane were so snug together it made her want to retch;
Akane's first thought when Ranma raced off to intercept
Pantyhose - no, he's Jiro now - was to follow and help.
Nabiki almost missed the fights they had, the malletings,
the fun ways she could needle them with Ranma's insecurity
and Akane's jealousy.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki sighed. Akane and Ranma found each other (finally).
Ranko, her newest (and best, possibly *only*) friend had
Doctor Tofu (a prime catch if ever there was one). Even
Kasumi seemed to have something developing with Jiro (poor
girl).</P>
<p align=left>Everyone thought of Nabiki as the Ice Queen, the Hard Bitch,
the inhuman money-making machine who'd sabotage her own
sister's wedding to make a quick yen. If anyone had ever
accused her of romantic feelings, she and everyone around
her would have laughed their asses off.</P>
<p align=left>But seeing all these (ick) feelings around her made her feel
like she was missing something. </P>
<p align=left>She dealt with that feeling the only way she knew how - by
ignoring it.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>A black piglet (with his own body at last) wandered the
park, sniffing through bags and bushes for a bite or two. It
had spent the night in the kindly healer's apartment.
Granted, the strange redhead and the healer were laughing
too loudly in his opinion, but still, it was the most
restful night the animal had had in ages.</P>
<p align=left>He heard a human female crying on the other side of the bush
he was rooting through, and so decided to investigate.
Something he *did* learn while held captive in that idiot's
head was to always comfort the sad. Or something to that
effect; the host's mind was as dark at times.</P>
<p align=left>He saw a young girl holding a rather large sword in her lap,
wailing from the depths of her soul. She looked to not have
slept nor eaten in many hours. She was murmuring about his
former host, and then he recognized her as the other girl
who loved the piglet form. The friend of the BIG pigs.</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee," he called, bouncing up to her and nudging her hand
with his snout.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga-sama?" she sniffed, dropping the sword to grab him.
"Did you finally leave that top-heavy gaijin harlot?"</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee!" (Not me, lady! *Him*!)</P>
<p align=left>"Good! Glad you have some sense now!" She scooped up the
piglet, squeezing him so hard that his eyes bugged out.
"Let's go back to grandfather's and we can live happily ever
after as we were meant to be!"</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee-bwee!" (Let go of me! I can't breathe!)</P>
<p align=left>Akari stood up with the black piglet in her arms, running
out of the park.</P>
<p align=left>She was so anxious to leave she didn't notice the tree root
until her foot hit it. Nor did she notice the puddle until
she was face-down in it.</P>
<p align=left>She looked at the nude boy under her in shock. "Ryoga-
sama??"</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee??" Buta-Ryoga asked.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Jiro, both recovered from their daze, stared hard
at their father Ichiro Hibiki, seated across from them at
the dining room table. </P>
<p align=left>Nodoka, fully dressed now, was serving breakfast to the
anxious males. She remembered the same tension in the house
when she told her father she was pregnant, claiming it was
Genma's, and her cowardly fiancé Genma burying his face in
the newspaper while her father stormed and wailed. That
situation had resulted in a gaijin-style 'shotgun wedding'
immediately thereafter.</P>
<p align=left>This situation was just as scary.</P>
<p align=left>A knock came from the front door, and she excused herself
to answer it.</P>
<p align=left>"Auntie Nodoka!" Akane cried out. "Nabiki told me about what
happened. Is Ranma here? Is he still alive?"</P>
<p align=left>"I've yet to hear the full details myself, but the men are
being quite pensive." She smiled bitterly to herself. "A
major part of being a proper Japanese lady is allowing the
men folk to be as they are and not interfere ... But it
doesn't seem to matter anymore. Want to join us for
breakfast?"</P>
<p align=left>Akane nodded, dumbstruck (*Nodoka* not caring what a proper
Japanese lady should do??), and followed her future mother-
in-law into the dining room. Ranma looked up and nodded as
she settled next to him, holding his hand under the table.</P>
<p align=left>A moment of silence passed between the odd family. Nodoka
sighed and rapped her rice spoon on the table. Their heads
turned sharply to her.</P>
<p align=left>"Well! Can we straighten this out or are you men going to
act like little boys about it?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Jiro both sulked.</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro, you have had ... 'relations' ... with Nabiki, who
may or may not be your sister. We do not know yet. It is
nothing to be ashamed of; you were both unaware. No
children were produced, nor were there any complications."</P>
<p align=left>"But - " he opened his mouth.</P>
<p align=left>"Be practical and less melodramatic," she interrupted him.
"If you intend to pursue a relationship with Kasumi, then
you must act more mature. She is a true lady, in all senses
of the word, and she will not accept childish behavior."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane's mouths gaped open, disconnecting from
their jaws and hitting the floor. They never heard her
speak like this. Sure, Mrs. Saotome had certain insights,
but nothing had ever shown the inner fire she now displayed.
Ranma realized he never knew his mother at all, and she
wasn't as dotty or bloodthirsty as Genma made her out to be.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro narrowed his eyes at her. "What right have you to say
that to me?!"</P>
<p align=left>"Every right," his father replied quietly. "Because it's the
truth."</P>
<p align=left>"All fine and well," Ranma interrupted. "But why the hell
did I find my mother ... " he blushed, unable to finish the
words. "On the ground? I mean, geez, have a little decency."</P>
<p align=left>"Gomen nasai, my son." Nodoka blushed gently, their
resemblance when embarrassed uncanny.</P>
<p align=left>"Apologies as well," Ichiro added. "Perhaps a degree of ...
discretion ... was in order."</P>
<p align=left>Jiro banged his head into the table. "Oh, sure, it's
perfectly okay to tell Fem-Boy you're sorry, but not me."</P>
<p align=left>"'Fem-Boy?'" Nodoka repeated.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma clenched his teeth. "His stupid nickname for me." He
shot a sideways glance at his elder half-brother.
"Pantyhose."</P>
<p align=left>"Take that back, transgender freak!"</P>
<p align=left>"You first, mutant!"</P>
<p align=left>Both leapt above the table to attack, but Akane and Ichiro's
strong hands pulled both back down to their sitting pillows.</P>
<p align=left>"What'd ya' do *that* for?!" both exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left>Akane sighed. "Will you two *grow up*? Auntie Nodoka is
right - you both act like little boys."</P>
<p align=left>"What of you, 'Pop'?" Jiro sneered, turning to Ichiro. "What
have you got to say about this whole mess you brought on us?"</P>
<p align=left>The senior Hibiki held his gaze and replied, "I am only
human, son. If you are concerned about Kasumi, you needn't
be. I was only around Mrs. Tendo when Nabiki was conceived,
when her husband was on training with Mr. Saotome and that
demented master of theirs."</P>
<p align=left>"Ugh," Nodoka commented. "The little perverted freak tried
to steal my wedding lingerie right off me." She made a face.
"I appreciate a masculine male, but there are some levels
of manliness that even *I* cannot stand. He was the epitome
of all of them."</P>
<p align=left>"You knew Happosai, mom?" Ranma asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Sadly, yes. The day Genma told me that the degenerate was
sealed in a mountain was the closest I ever came to being
proud of him." She shook her head. "When he showed up in my
laundry hamper a few months back, I started putting rat
traps in my panty drawer again."</P>
<p align=left>The youngsters giggled. Ranma flushed.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, that's not a problem anymore," Akane chuckled.</P>
<p align=left>"Indeed? Has something horrible happened to him?"</P>
<p align=left>The odd sort-of-family group settled in to tell the Tale of
Happosai's Strange Fate.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chibi-Happi sneezed, instantly provoking Shampoo to wipe his
nose and check his general health.</P>
<p align=left>"That is going to be the most pampered baby in the world,"
Ryoga said good-naturedly, putting down a pot of fresh tea
for Shampoo.</P>
<p align=left>"{No, he won't,}" Shampoo stated. "{There's no place in
Nychezyu society for the weak and coddled. He'll be strong
and noble and proud.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Sorry,}" he said apologetically.</P>
<p align=left>"{Don't be. But perhaps I should apologize to you - making
you open your home -}"</P>
<p align=left>"{You didn't make me do *anything*!}" Ryoga said. "{You need
a place to stay until the Challenge, and I can't let you and
the baby stay on the street.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{You mean you didn't lure me to your home just to take
advantage of me in my hour of need, Ryoga?}" she teased.</P>
<p align=left>"{HEY!}" Ryoga protested, blushing. "{It ain't like that!}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Oh...}" Shampoo pouted. "{I'm disappointed.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga stammered.</P>
<p align=left>
Shampoo giggled, placing a finger on his lips. "{You are so
*easy* to tease, sweet Ryoga.}"</P>
<p align=left>Neither one could afterward figure out who had kissed whom
first. All they knew was that suddenly, their lips were
touching.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga just let himself get swept away, not allowing any
thought to intrude.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo was startled. She'd been kissed by many men, many
of whom were well-versed in the arts and sciences of
pleasure. Ryoga's technique was clumsy, somewhat sloppy ...
but better than anyone else's. Somehow, a graceless,
unskilled kiss made her react, body and soul, in a way no
other could.</P>
<p align=left>It was some time later that the two separated, flushed and
breathing heavily.</P>
<p align=left>"Um - baby needs changing ..." Ryoga said softly.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sniffed the air. "{Oh,}" she replied, smiling.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu slid almost dreamily through his day, attending
to patients and check-ups and files as needed, but still
relishing the memories of Ranko's scent, touch, and taste. </P>
<p align=left>No other woman made him feel as she did, not any of the
women he had dated in high school and college, nor the
affairs he had while he was on 'Walkabout' compared to last
night. (And especially that scary girl in Eastern Europe.)</P>
<p align=left>All these years, not one woman had made him *feel*. Had
awakened Life in him, who allowed him to laugh and cry and
just hold him close and kiss his tears. He used to be a
stoic and noble man. He used to be dead. Now, with the love
of a woman, he was alive, and he felt his true calling in
life: to be a husband of a beautiful and wonderful woman
and be the father of her children.</P>
<p align=left>"A bit soon, don't you think, Ono-sweetie?" a familiar
voice materialized around him.</P>
<p align=left>"Not at all, actually," he turned and smiled wanly at the
succubus provocatively perched on his desk. </P>
<p align=left>She giggled, leaning forward to touch her nose to his. "Oh,
I think it's absolutely wonderful! True Love, found between
a shy doctor and a mirror twin; a romance written in the
Heavens!"</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>Eryala leaned back, her face sober. "You mean you do not
know the birth of your lover?"</P>
<p align=left>"Theories ... "</P>
<p align=left>"But not 'truth', dear Ono," she spun around on his desk and
danced over the floor to the draped object in his office.
She whipped the sheet off, revealing the Saotome Mirror, as
the group were calling it. Her reflection was a faint shadow,
but was differently shaped; the silhouette of a young girl.
She gazed at it and it drifted away. "My 'innocence' is an
odd creature at times."</P>
<p align=left>"So, what have you to tell me?" he traced his fingers over
the lotus blossom on his desk that Ranko had placed behind
his ear the night before.</P>
<p align=left>"The great O-Kuni-Nushi is a God of the Shinto faith,
correct?"</P>
<p align=left>He nodded. "Master of the Land, and Patron of Heroes,
Sorcerers, and Healers."</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled. "And you fit all three categories, so you are
one of His favorites, Ono-sweetie."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu blushed. "I decline to admit I'm that important."</P>
<p align=left>"You did anyway," she traced her black nails gently over the
glass. "Not to mention the Saotome/Hibiki boychick is under
the Hero heading, as well. That includes his sister."</P>
<p align=left>"Is this leading anywhere, old friend?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Baby, don't rush me. Then, of course, Benzaiten - such a
busybody - wanted so much for the Saotome boy and Tendo girl
to love each other - to promote healing of rifts and
mistakes wrought upon everyone around them." She shook her
head. "Silly goddess. It's a lot more fun to just light the
fuse and watch them run around. Petty things these
children's hormones be."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu chuckled. "Kept me comfortable in my business."</P>
<p align=left>The succubus chuckled with him. "And then Benzaiten and
O-Kuni-Nushi *had* to bring Their work together to tie
things up real nice."</P>
<p align=left>"So, you are saying ... ?"</P>
<p align=left>"I'm saying that your 'magical girlfriend' was created by
truly divine means. Birthed from the wills of Gods. Your
future in-laws are a few of the most powerful martial
artists on Earth and *the* most powerful of their
generation. You are among that number as well. 'Mate the
strong with the strong' the proverb goes, and for this
reason, to protect the world from greater evils and all that
ruckus, you are the Heroes of this Earth." </P>
<p align=left>Tofu blinked. "You have got to be kidding."</P>
<p align=left>Eryala shrugged, making her flesh ripple in interesting
ways. "Too dramatic and fanfic-ky for my taste, too, but
that's the way the dice have been rolled. The situations
were set up, and you all have reacted with your free wills
in them."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh crap," he muttered. He knew all too well what that
meant. When the gods gave gifts, they demanded payment. For
such a meddling, the Purpose that the gods had in mind must
be ... horrific.</P>
<p align=left>"All this ... just to be a pawn?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>Eryala slid up to him, wrapping her red arms around his
torso and kissing his throat with black lips. "Not quite.
Everything in this universe has a Purpose, studmuffin. And
your Purpose just happens to coincide with your heart's
desire: to love her and be her husband and father to her
children."</P>
<p align=left>He pushed her gently away, smiling gently at the succubus.
"I just don't like being used."</P>
<p align=left>"Gods are like kittens and butterflies - they flit where
they will, needing no excuse."</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * * </P>
<p align=left>As Nabiki approached the school, she noticed the utter
absence of Kuno. Usually, he awaited Akane and Ranma so
he could challenge them and get pounded on. Even during
their absence, he maintained his vigil.</P>
<p align=left>Now there was just a quiet schoolyard with a few milling
students - much like she heard other (non-Nerima) schools
had. Spooky.</P>
<p align=left>"HOTCHA!!" came the cry from above.</P>
<p align=left>(Happosai?) Nabiki thought in panic. (It can't be!)</P>
<p align=left>(GLOMP!!)</P>
<p align=left>"YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Nabiki screamed at the sensation of
hands on her breasts. By reflex, she brought her fist up
and slammed her attacker with all her strength.</P>
<p align=left>"That hurt, Nabiki Tendo," said a cultured voice.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki got a clear look at her assailant - Tatewaki Kuno.</P>
<p align=left>But a Kuno unlike any she had ever known. </P>
<p align=left>"Kuno??" she asked in wonder.</P>
<p align=left>"Aye, Nabiki Tendo. No doubt my imposing masculinity hath
so overwhelmed thine senses that thine vision is blurred."</P>
<p align=left>"No, it's the clothes."
</P>
<p align=left>He wore a traditional cloth mask, a t-shirt with the legend
'Official Bra Inspector', and a pair of smiley-face
decorated boxer shorts. And that's all.</P>
<p align=left>"And GET YOUR HANDS *OFF*!!" she protested.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno reluctantly released her breasts. "I was but
practicing, awaiting the Red-haired Goddess Ranko Saotome,
so that I may impress her with my technique."</P>
<p align=left>"Excuse me?" Nabiki asked.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno took out the scroll from ... somewhere (probably
someplace disgusting). "At last, I have learned the Secret!
I shall prove my worthiness to Ranko Saotome, and she shall
be MINE! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki snatched away the scroll and read the title card:
'Happosai's School of Anything-Goes Manly Arts - How To Be
A Truly Manly Man'.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh bloody hell," she muttered while Kuno continued
laughing.</P>
<p align=left>(BOP!!) went the eraser as it bounced off Kuno's head.</P>
<p align=left>"BE QUIET!" Hinako-sensei yelled from the third-story
window. "I've got lesson plans to make!"</P>
<p align=left>"My apologies, Sensei," Kuno shouted "I but await the fair
Ranko Saotome -"</P>
<p align=left>"She's on academic probation, you dolt!" Hinako cried.
"She's probably at home -"</P>
<p align=left>"SWEETO!!" he yelled. With a single bound, he hopped over
Nabiki's head and dashed down the street.</P>
<p align=left>(Oh hells!) Nabiki thought. (I can't beat him there - I'll
need a phone!)</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon me?" asked the sweet-faced girl in the floral-print
skirt. "Could you direct me to Doctor Tofu's Clinic?"</P>
<p align=left>The police officer smiled at the young lady and pointed
down the street. "Just five blocks, miss."</P>
<p align=left>"Thank you," Ina said politely. With a tiny bow, she
departed, the scent of daisies in the air. </P>
<p align=left>The policeman smiled, a little ray of sunshine brightening
his day as a result of meeting someone so sweet and wholesome.</P>
<p align=left>"Soon, Ono-sama," she cooed to herself, "We'll be together
again, my love!"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Sixteen</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi already had a kettle of water boiling for tea by the
time the others left for school. Just a feeling ... best to
make some tea.</P>
<p align=left>The phone rang. She turned to pick up the kitchen extension.</P>
<p align=left>"Moshi-moshi?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Oneechan? Nabiki. Warn Ko-chan that Kuno's heading
toward home to meet her."</P>
<p align=left>"Tatewaki Kuno? The boy that used to pester Akane?"</P>
<p align=left>"Afraid so. He's after the redhead now, and I just found out
he's taken Happosai's place and is able to glomp like the
old pervert could."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, my," Kasumi nodded to herself. "I'll warn her right
away. Arigato, Nabiki."</P>
<p align=left>"No prob. I gotta go - first period. Good luck."</P>
<p align=left>"I'll tell the contractors to be on standby."</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi hung up the phone and rushed out of the kitchen and
up the stairs.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan!" she cried, dashing into their shared room. </P>
<p align=left>Ranko jumped out of bed and fell in a heap on the floor,
nerves shattered at the sudden entrance of her friend. Being
woken out of a sound sleep by an alarmed Kasumi could not be
good.</P>
<p align=left>"Huh-what-who-where-nani-nani?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"Kuno-san is on his way over - and he must have found
grandfather Happosai's secret scrolls somewhere!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko yawned, rubbing her eyes. "Why's that?"</P>
<p align=left>"Because Nabiki said he had mastered the glomp technique."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko leapt to her feet, pulling on a kimono and barely tying
the obi in time to hear the pompous-ass voice of Kuno call
out, "Ranko Saotome! Fair flower of my heart and most
beauteous of all women - "</P>
<p align=left>"Crud in a bucket," she sighed, thundering down the stairs,
closely followed by Kasumi.</P>
<p align=left>" - I have come to claim you for my own by proving my
manliness to you!"</P>
<p align=left>She stopped dead in her tracks on the front porch, staring
at the spectacle just outside the gates of the Tendo garden.</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi covered her mouth and giggled quietly, excusing
herself to the kitchen to chortle hysterically.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko narrowed her eyes at Kuno and asked, "When did the
freak show come into town?"</P>
<p align=left>He looked down at his outfit and looked back up at her. "I
believe I have fabulous legs and - dare I say - buttocks.
Boxers enhance these qualities of mine. Including one in
particular ... "</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, ew, gross. Get a stick, kill it, kill it," she sighed,
flicking her fingers in a powerful thrust toward him. </P>
<p align=left>The pressurized air made him stumble back, landing on top of
the bag of panties he had carried with him.</P>
<p align=left>(A powerful martial artist she is, and playing hard-to-get
as well. 'A shy virgin is always the sweetest catch,' as the
Master's scroll says. A perfect match for the Blue Thunder!)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno got to his feet and charged the wall of the garden,
hitching himself up and over.</P>
<p align=left>"HOTCHA!" he cried, his hands reaching out toward the
redhead's ample breasts.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko spun, her speed sending a roundhouse kick into the
upperclassman's face, causing him to fly into the koi pond.
He surfaced, spitting water out.</P>
<p align=left>"Listen, freak," she stated. "There is no way in the Seven
Rings of Hell I'll date you. I don't find you manly, I find
you offensive. Furthermore, Ono Tofu is my true love, and
you have no part in that!" Her delicate hands grabbed him by
the hair and swung him around and around.</P>
<p align=left>"Ranko-sama!" he squealed, feeling her fingers release his
hair. He felt the familiar rush of wind as he became </P>
airborne once again.
<p align=left>"Happy landings, you silly brain-dead cabbage!"</P>
<p align=left>"You'll be miiiiiinnneeeee, Raaaaannkoohhh!!!"</P>
<p align=left>"Gah."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Jiro and Ranma walked out to the Saotome backyard while
Akane and Nodoka spoke quietly. </P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Jiro!"</P>
<p align=left>"What is it, fem- er, Ranma?" he asked testily.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, don't go getting nasty! I just wanted to talk, that's
all."</P>
<p align=left>"About what?"</P>
<p align=left>
"Well, I never had any real family for most of my life, and
now I got two brothers and a sister -"</P>
<p align=left>"Two."</P>
<p align=left>"Eh?"</P>
<p align=left>"You - *we* - have another sister," Jiro explained. "Her
name's Rose Petal. She lives in the village I was born in."</P>
<p align=left>"I didn't know that," Ranma said wonderingly.</P>
<p align=left>"That's the problem with the bastard - he drops his spawn
everywhere. And doesn't give a rat's ass about the
consequences!"</P>
<p align=left>"Could be worse," Ranma replied.</P>
<p align=left>"How?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma began an abbreviated rendition of growing up as the
son of Genma Saotome as the two brothers began a long and
slow process of bonding.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Meanwhile, inside ...</P>
<p align=left>"Akane-chan ..." Nodoka asked diffidently. "How well do you
know Ranko?"</P>
<p align=left>"Fairly well," Akane answered. "I'm not as close to her as
Ranma, but I consider her a friend." She chuckled. "In fact,
you might say that she helped me and Ranma finally get
together. It was the fear of losing him to Ranko that
finally made me open up to Ranma, show him I could be
trusted."</P>
<p align=left>"Lose him ... to his sister?" Nodoka asked.</P>
<p align=left>Akane blushed. She wasn't sure how much Nodoka knew of
Ranko's origins, nor how much Ranko wanted her to know.
"They have a ... special relationship. Much closer than
siblings normally are."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka was taken aback by that. That simply wasn't proper!
Or legal! A brother and sister shouldn't -</P>
<p align=left>She stopped herself. That sort of thinking had kept her away
from her son too long, and had all but cost her a daughter.
If Akane-chan wasn't bothered by it, she wouldn't remark on
it.</P>
<p align=left>"Do you think Ranko would ... accept me as her mother now?"</P>
<p align=left>Akane avoided looking at Nodoka directly. She had seen the
depths of Ranko's resentment of Nodoka, and knew it wouldn't
all be washed away with a broken katana and a few words.</P>
<p align=left>"I don't think she needs a mother anymore," Akane said. "But
she was alone for a very long time. I think she might use a
friend."</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka nodded. It wasn't what she wanted, but beggars can't
be choosers. It would have to be enough.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"grumble mumble dickweed grumble bokken-wielding loony
mumble mumble ..." Ranko complained under her breath all the
way to Tofu's clinic. The reintroduction of a mega-hentai
into her life annoyed her, as did the suspension from school
and Ranma's unexpected jealousy of her new relationship ...
she needed some comfort.</P>
<p align=left>So she headed to Ono's for some talk (and maybe some
incidental snuggling).</P>
<p align=left>When she went inside, there was a strange girl coming out of
Ono's private office. She was gaijin, incredibly blonde-
haired and blue-eyed, with a daisy holding a side pigtail.
Her eyes were bright blue with stars in them. She wore a
simple white peasant blouse and a daisy-print skirt with
matching suspenders. Her shoes had little daisy bows on them.</P>
<p align=left>Her aura bespoke of simple purity, of virginal innocence.
She was so sweet and pure, Kasumi might have objected.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, hello," she said to Ranko, an odd accent coloring her
Japanese.</P>
<p align=left>"Hello," Ranko said. "Were you here to see the doctor?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh yes, but Ono-sama doesn't seem to be around."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko's eyes bugged out. "*ONO-SAMA*?!?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, pardon my manners. I'm Ina Sophia - Ono-sama's fiancée!"
She whipped a bento out of nowhere. "Would you like some
cookies?"</P>
<p align=left>"*FIANCEE*?!?" Ranko screamed, rattling the windows.
Lightning flashed, thunder pealed.</P>
<p align=left>"Why, yes. Didn't he mention me?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko breathed deeply, trying to focus herself. (Calm,
Saotome. Calm. This is probably just another one of those
screwy things like Niichan gets into all the time.)</P>
<p align=left>"Well," Ina said, smiling sunnily. "If you see Ono-sama,
tell him I'll be back later. You can keep the cookies. Bye
now and have a sweet and sun-shiney day!"</P>
<p align=left>As the sickeningly wholesome girl skipped outside, Ranko
went to Ono's office to sit down a minute.</P>
<p align=left>In one corner of the office, a filing cabinet was trembling
violently.
</P>
<p align=left>Ranko went over to it and knocked gently. "Ono? It's me -
Ranko."</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?" Doctor Tofu whispered. "Is she gone?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah-"</P>
<p align=left>With a sigh of relief, Ono started to climb out of the
cabinet.</P>
<p align=left>"- but she said she'd be back."</P>
<p align=left>(SLAM!) went the cabinet, which began trembling again.</P>
<p align=left>"Don't tell her I'm here! Tell her I'm dead! That I was
buried in another country! I'm scared! MOMMY!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko blinked, then decided Kasumi's approach to everything
was the best solution at the moment ... she went to make tea.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari had located a towel in her hotel room for Ryoga, after
guiding him stealthily through Nerima while he insisted on
crawling on all fours. He looked at the towel blankly and
she - blushing furiously - wrapped the towel around his
middle parts. She pushed him onto the bed, and stared at
him, redness crossing her cheeks.</P>
<p align=left>(Well, this *was* what I always wanted ... but this just
seems a little odd. No, I don't want this. I'm a Nice Girl,
and Nice Girls don't want such things. Nasty things ...
dirty things ... yummy things ... )</P>
<p align=left>She cleared her throat and smiled sweetly. "Do you want any
tea, Ryoga-sama?"</P>
<p align=left>"Bwee!" P-chan-turned-human replied, trembling in the cold
air.</P>
<p align=left>"You're right, maybe a warm bath would be better for you.
I'll start one."</P>
<p align=left>Akari gratefully left him. (So forward! Being casually nude
around me - he *must* love me! He wants to marry me and make
babies to teach them the arts of pig raising and wrestling!
Yes, that's it! We must start right away! Grandfather
wouldn't mind if I carried just before marriage! Just to
make sure we're fertile with each other - just like with the
pigs.)</P>
<p align=left>Akari hummed to herself, filling the bath with hot water and
half a bottle of bubble bath. She nervously peeled her
clothes off and pulled a robe over herself.</P>
<p align=left>"Ryoga-sama ... " she sang sweetly.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-P-Chan, meanwhile, was trying to adjust to his new ...
everything. He'd never had a chance to control the human
body, and wasn't quite sure how to manage all the odd
equipment. The two legs, the hands, and the speaking parts
all mystified him.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on, darling," Akari said in a lilting, sing-song
voice. "We have a nice furo waiting for us. But first, we
have to scrub you off."</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga-P-Chan allowed the pig-girl to take him to the bath.
When she picked up the scrub-brush, he recognized the
activity instantly - the Akane-girl used to clean his
piglet-form like this. He allowed her to scrub him off,
making little piggy sounds as she scrubbed him.</P>
<p align=left>Akari was nervous at first, but soon found her shyness
giving way to a feeling of ... excitement? Yes, excitement.
Soon, she was enjoying it, even being a little bold around
... certain parts. His physical reaction was both wonderful
and frightening.</P>
<p align=left>As she poured the cold water over him to rinse him off, the
sound he made was ... exciting. It reminded her of when
Katsunishiki would go to the sows.</P>
<p align=left>She allowed her robe to fall to the floor and quickly
stepped into the tub. Her breathing was deep and heavy now.
"Ryoga-sama," she said in a deep, rough voice, "come in. The
water's fine."</P>
<p align=left>She watched her Ryoga step into the tub ...</P>
<p align=left>... and vanish. A little black piglet splashed in the water,
squealing.</P>
<p align=left>Which couldn't be heard over Akari's scream.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * * </P>
<p align=left>Tatewaki Kuno, self-proclaimed disciple of the Anything-Goes
School of Manly Arts, nursed his head wound as he worked on
his new bokken. He thought (little wisps of smoke rising
from his ears), meditating upon the exchange he and the
Saotome girl had as his fingers molded his new weapon.</P>
<p align=left>(Doctor Ono Tofu is her 'true love' ... so she says.
Probably *he* is the foul sorcerer that had taken my loves
from me. Saotome was only a pawn in the evil doctor's plan
to keep the delicious redhead to himself. The hentai.)</P>
<p align=left>Kuno stabbed the new and improved bokken into the air,
thunder pealing in the distance.</P>
<p align=left>"As long as I shall live, Tofu, I will free the fair Ranko
Saotome from your evil clutches! The vengeance of heaven is
slow but sure ... " (Insert Kuno Mad Laugh Number 438 here.)</P>
<p align=left>Sasuke twisted his little monkey face up in disgust as he
rounded the corner of the house.</P>
<p align=left>"Come on, do-boy," the girl intoned. "I have to get back in
time for fifth period."</P>
<p align=left>"How much do I get from the betting pool concerning the
little snot-face?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Two hundred yen."</P>
<p align=left>"Nani??"</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, you were a little late in your entry. You, who work
for Kuno-baby, wasn't able to guess when he'd finally admit
to who he is?"</P>
<p align=left>"I prefer not to comment, Tendo-san," he replied, sighing
and collecting his winnings. "Heck, I sort of thought he'd
never *really* admit to his perverthood."</P>
<p align=left>"Have it your way," Nabiki chuckled. "Nice doing business
with you."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Tofu spent the last hour explaining to his beloved Ranko how
he knew Miss Ina Sophia from Medina (Spain). ("Any other
stupid rhymes, Ono-sama?" "Not my fault, Ko-chan, it
happened that way.") Of how she was in Russia at the same
time he was on his 'Walkabout' and she had taught him the
bulk of his more dramatic magical spells. </P>
<p align=left>They had ... dated once (to use the term loosely, unless
your idea of 'dating' involved the use of whips, chains, and
fur-lined handcuffs) which scared the holy heck out of him.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko just stared at him, her face a mask of total
skepticism.</P>
<p align=left>"What?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>"You expect me to believe *that* of *her*?? Little-Miss-
Sunshine-Diabetic-Shock?" </P>
<p align=left>"It's true!" he insisted. "She's a *monster*!!"</P>
<p align=left>"That little girl actually makes your succubus girlfriend
look like Donna Reed on that American sitcom."</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, that wasn't my fault, either!"</P>
<p align=left>"You're beginning to sound like Ranma, y'know."</P>
<p align=left>The doctor chuckled and blushed, scratching the back of his
head. "Guess so; I can sympathize with him now."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, based on the sugar over-dosage alone, I can see why
you'd want to be - "</P>
<p align=left>" - On another planet - " Tofu interjected.</P>
<p align=left>" - but I just can't see her being this leather-wearing
dominatrix you're describing."</P>
<p align=left>"Not leather," he corrected her, "vinyl. She also has a
dragon tattoo on her hip."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko stared at him. For a long silent moment. The moment
turned into several minutes.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?" he asked nervously.</P>
<p align=left>"What was the attraction?" she finally asked.</P>
<p align=left>A long moment of silence came from his end. At last, he
replied, "I have no earthly idea why. I think, at first,
she reminded me of Kasumi - when I thought I was in love
with her ... "</P>
<p align=left>Ranko lowered her eyes, standing up and turning to leave the
room.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?"</P>
v"I just remembered ... our captive guest ... "</P>
<p align=left>Tofu immediately got the impression he inserted his foot
deep in his gullet.</P>
<p align=left>"Damnit, Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Come along, Tofu-sensei, mustn't keep him waiting any
longer."</P>
<p align=left>"Will you look at me?" He trailed after her and grabbed her
by the shoulders, forcing her to spin around and face him.
"Okay, I made a mistake once - I screwed up! Oh, yes, did I
ever screw up! But that's over with! I don't even want to be
in the same *country* with her! I want to be with you!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko took a deep breath and was silent for several seconds.
"I just need to think."</P>
<p align=left>He nodded, his expression no expression at all. "Just
remember: my past is not going to interfere with how I feel
about you."</P>
<p align=left>She nodded back, biting her lip. Who knew this would make
her uncomfortable at all? She was used to others having
these emotions - jealousy, fear, inadequacy. She had no
idea she would ever experience these things herself.</P>
<p align=left>(His ex-girlfriend wears vinyl panties ... Good Gods, how
can I measure up to *that*?!)</P>
<p align=left>Both entered the room occupied by the being that previously
inhabited the former Pantyhose Taro.</P>
<p align=left>"Good morning," Tofu announced.</P>
<p align=left>The monster-now-in-human-form turned his head slightly to
gaze at the doctor and his receptionist. A low growl
emanated from his throat.</P>
<p align=left>"Glad you are feeling better today. Can I loosen the
bridle enough for you to speak if you are able to?"</P>
<p align=left>He nodded docilely while growling.</P>
<p align=left>"Good. Ranko-san, please have the tranquilizers ready."</P>
<p align=left>"What dosage, sensei?"</P>
<p align=left>"'Nerima-Wrecking-Crew' Strength."</P>
<p align=left>The doctor sat next to the boy-monster and held his gaze for
a long moment. A simple form of hypnosis would at least
make him more agreeable for speaking.</P>
<p align=left>After the front muzzle had been disengaged, the intelligent
yeti brain was able to correspond thought to words at last:
"I'm going to feast on your innards."</P>
<p align=left>"Tut-tut," Tofu chided. "Not now, sir. We have things to
discuss first."</P>
<p align=left>"Not the least of which is who we send the bill to," Ranko
muttered.</P>
<p align=left>"Call me Pantyhose, sorcerer."</P>
<p align=left>"Why Pantyhose?" Ranko asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Because *he* hates that name," the monster chuckled.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko thanked the Gods yet again that she and Ranma never
became this way.</P>
<p align=left>"Pantyhose ... " the doctor began. "I am in need of your
assistance in studying the Jusenkyo Curses - "</P>
<p align=left>"Dry up and die, sorcerer."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko sighed, "Why don't we just let Nabiki sell him to the
zoo? She promised us a half-percent cut - it should cover
the expenses."</P>
<p align=left>"Divided between all of us?"</P>
<p align=left>"Get me out of here," Pantyhose muttered.</P>
<p align=left>"Nothing doing," Tofu replied.</P>
<p align=left>"You made a mistake, sorcerer." A hand reached up and
enveloped the physician's throat. "The bridle has to be
completely on me to immobilize me."</P>
<p align=left>"GWAAAAAK!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko slammed the syringe into the boy-monster's thigh, but
found herself slammed into the wall as he back-handed her
away. He tore the rest of the bridle off and tossed the
asphyxiated doctor on top of her.</P>
<p align=left>"I hate long good-byes ... " he stated, crashing through a
window and somersaulting down to the street.</P>
<p align=left>"Ono! You - "</P>
<p align=left>Her sentence was cut off as a telephone pole slammed through
the roof, causing the structure to collapse on them.</P>
<p align=left>Pantyhose ran silently through the alleys of Nerima in a
clean escape. </P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Seventeen</P>
<p align=left>Ranma blinked, then stared into space in complete shock.
Jiro ceased speaking and slammed his fist into the side of
his brother's head.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, what's with you?"</P>
<p align=left>"It's Ko-chan!" Ranma breathed, dashing to the garden wall
and leaping over the stone. "She's hurt!"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro sighed, shaking his head. "Telepathic siblings," he
muttered in disgust. "One big friggin' soap opera."</P>
<p align=left>"Where's Ranma going?" Akane asked, arriving from the house.</P>
<p align=left>"He says his sister's in trouble or something."</P>
<p align=left>"And you're not helping??" she asked, opening the gate
hurriedly. </P>
<p align=left>"Why should I?" </P>
<p align=left>"She's your sister, too, baka!"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro waved his hand dismissively, covering up his
humiliation of a week ago at the redhead's hands (or knee,
in this instance) with his usual machismo. "She can take
care of herself."</P>
<p align=left>Akane took a moment to turn around and connect her foot to
his thick head, landing him in the rock garden section of
Nodoka's yard.</P>
<p align=left>"Sorry, Auntie Nodoka, but I have to help Ranma and Ranko."</P>
<p align=left>"All right, dear," Mrs. Saotome nodded. "Their secret is
safe with me."</P>
<p align=left>Akane briefly wondered what the woman meant as she chased
her fiancé back to Nerima.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Akari sat in shock, staring at the cute piglet that sat on
the hotel room bed. It looked like Ryoga-sama, but it acted
like any other piglet.</P>
<p align=left>But she *saw* Ryoga. She saw him change.</P>
<p align=left>(He changed in the park when we both fell in that puddle ...
he changed again in the tub ...)</P>
<p align=left>A realization hit her. (But he becomes a pig in *cold* water!
Could his curse have reversed somehow? But why would he act
differently?)</P>
<p align=left>"OF COURSE!!" she cried, leaping to her feet (and scaring
the piglet half to death).</P>
<p align=left>She grabbed the piglet up and squeezed it to her bosom.
"It's so obvious! That Chinese witch, trying to deceive me,
cursed a helpless little piglet so I would think it's Ryoga-
sama! Then, she can keep my beautiful Ryoga-sama all to
herself!"</P>
<p align=left>(You're nuts!) thought the piglet.</P>
<p align=left>"But it won't work, will it, sweet little piggy?" she cooed.
"Don't worry, Ryoga-sama!" she cried out into the microphone
she held, striking a heroic pose. "For I will save you from
the gaijin hussy with the power of my love for you!"</P>
<p align=left>She was about to dash out and invade the Nekohanten again
when two things struck her:</P>
<p align=left>One: Her last attempt to invade the Nekohanten had resulted
in her being knocked out by some hideous troll-monster and
dropped in a dumpster; and</P>
<p align=left>Two: She hadn't put anything on after leaving the furo, and
thus was quite naked.</P>
<p align=left>Obviously charging down to the restaurant wasn't an option
at this moment.
<p align=left>She had to get some clothes, go home, and plan how to save
her man from his horrid, evil, debasing servitude.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>At that moment, the man in question was in a park staring up
at the clouds, his head in Shampoo's lap. Her finger idly
traced the curve of his ear. On her back, a baby-carrier
held a sleeping infant.</P>
<p align=left>"That one looks like a dragon," he said, pointing to one
cloud.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo shook her head. "[It doesn't look like any dragon
I've ever seen. That looks more like a snake with wings.]"</P>
<p align=left>"That's what dragons look like in Central America. And they
like to play poker, too."</P>
<p align=left>"[Really?]"</P>
<p align=left>"Yeah, but they always try to cheat -"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma leapt over the lovebirds, Akane following hot on his
heels.</P>
<p align=left>"What's wrong?" Ryoga said, sensing the worry in their
auras.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan's in trouble!" Ranma cried over his shoulder.</P>
<p align=left>"Ko-chan?" Ryoga said. She *was* his sister, and even though
their relationship had been ... somewhat rocky, duty to
family called.</P>
<p align=left>He leapt to his feet. "C'mon, Shampoo-chan!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo followed suit, and they were both out of the park
when she realized that he'd called her 'Shampoo-chan'.</P>
<p align=left>She stopped for a moment to giggle like a schoolgirl before
grabbing Ryoga and pointing him in the right direction.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>An hour later, the Tendo dojo was filled with concerned
members of Hibiki blood or Hibiki near-relations.</P>
<p align=left>Huddled under blankets were Ranko and Doctor Tofu, both
relating the mistake they made in trying to talk to the
beast. </P>
<p align=left>Both were battered, bruised, egos hurting more that
anything.</P>
<p align=left>"I should have known better," Tofu moaned. "I nearly got Ko-
chan killed!"</P>
<p align=left>"Stop beating yourself up, Ono-sama," she murmured, rubbing
her aching head wrapped in bandages. "We survived. In six
years, we'll know how to use the bridle properly again."</P>
<p align=left>Ramna held his sister gently, dressing what wounds she
allowed him to. Akane attended upon the doctor, who was
grinning silly for Ranko calling him 'Ono-sama' again. Ryoga
and Shampoo were feeding the baby as Kasumi prepared lunch
in the kitchen. Soun and Genma were seated at the other end
of the dining room table, playing shogi and cheating each
other.</P>
<p align=left>"{So, Pantyhose's - I mean - Jiro's monster-half is roaming
out there again, only in human form this time?}"</P>
<p align=left>"Unfortunately, Shampoo," Tofu nodded, wrapping the blanket
closer to himself. "Only the Gods know if he's going to look
for Jiro or plot for a later date. We can only assume he
*is* going to be after Jiro for as long as both are alive."</P>
<p align=left>"That stinks," Ranma stated the collective thought.</P>
<p align=left>"We'll be ready again," Ryoga added. "Jerk or not, the duty
of family is first and foremost."</P>
<p align=left>"Got that right, P-chan!" Ranko grinned.</P>
<p align=left>The Lost Boy smiled back at her. Shampoo snuggled him
closer and shot daggers at her future sister-in-law. "Mine,
Magical Girl, mine-mine-mine!" she mouthed silently.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko, reading Shampoo's lips, replied the same way; "Keep
him - and don't call me 'Magical Girl'."</P>
<p align=left>Genma pushed his glasses up and winked at Soun. The Tendo
patriarch nodded back, both watching their engaged children
out the corner of their eyes.</P>
<p align=left>(Soon, Tendo, we'll be stinking rich,) Genma thought.</P>
<p align=left>(Gods, this hangover sucks,) Soun thought.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki had gotten worried when Ranma and Akane weren't
present at lunch, and went home to check on them. Passing by
the wreckage of Tofu's clinic, she broke into a run.</P>
<p align=left>Dashing inside, she saw the assembled group. "Oh my god!
What happened?"</P>
<p align=left>"The damn Pantyhose monster escaped," Ranma snarled.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh crap," Nabiki said. A thought struck her. "Did anyone
think to tell Jiro?"</P>
<p align=left>"I telephoned him at the Saotome place," Kasumi said,
popping her head out of the kitchen. "He didn't seem
worried."</P>
<p align=left>"What was he doing there?" Nabiki asked.</P>
<p align=left>"I believe he was going to pummel his father into a bloody
pulp," Kasumi replied. "because of -" she glanced at Soun.
"- *You* know."</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki nodded. He hadn't taken the (possible) bad news any
better than she did.</P>
<p align=left>"While I'm here," Nabiki said. "Oh, Daddy!"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes, Nabiki-chan?" Soun said, wincing slightly as he turned
his head a bit too fast.</P>
<p align=left>(Ah! Hung over!) she noticed. (Excellent!) "Oh Daddy, the
school is having a field trip to the Diet, and you need to
sign these permission slips for me and Akane." She smiled
her sweetest smile at him.</P>
<p align=left>Akane glanced at her sister. "I didn't hear anything about
this."</P>
<p align=left>"I'm not surprised - you and Ranma were gone all that time,
you missed a lot."</P>
<p align=left>Akane nodded.</P>
<p align=left>As Soun signed his slips, Nabiki put one down in front of
Genma.</P>
<p align=left>Genma 'hmph'ed. "What does Ranma need to learn at the Diet?
It has nothing to do with martial arts!"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, well," Nabiki said. "So you don't mind if Akane goes
alone, and maybe meets some handsome, suave, wealthy
diplomat -"</P>
<p align=left>"Like hell!" Ranma protested. "Why would she want someone
suave and good-looking? She's got *me*!"</P>
<p align=left>Genma took the paper and signed it. (No way will I let that
idiot boy loose my nest egg at the last moment!)</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki smiled as she took up the papers, then quietly nodded
to Kasumi as she left for the Records Office.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The next few days passed quietly. No mysterious supernatural
occurrences, no monster attacks, no duels of super-powered
martial artists. Peace and quiet reigned.</P>
<p align=left>Of course, this bizarre and unnatural event made the
residents of Nerima terrified.</P>
<p align=left>Then the People's Turnip Liberation Strikeforce attacked an
all-you-can-eat vegetarian restaurant with barbeque-sauce
bombs and tried to free the salad toppings into the wild,
and everyone relaxed.</P>
<p align=left>Which has nothing to do with our story.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>In Nerima Park, a small group of odd persons were gathered
together.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, carrying a picnic lunch, arm-
in-arm; followed by Ranko Saotome and Ono Tofu, also
carrying a picnic lunch. Close behind them came Ryoga and
Jiro Hibiki, followed by their father Ichiro.</P>
<p align=left>They were converging on a small area, surrounded with
banners in an old Chinese script. Two low chairs faced a
brazier in the middle. Nearby, Nabiki Tendo and her toady
Kikuko were setting up a video camera. </P>
<p align=left>"Well, it's about time," Nabiki said.</P>
<p align=left>"What's going on, anyway?" Akane asked. "Why did Shampoo
want to meet us here?"</P>
<p align=left>"More to the point," Nabiki riposted. "Why the lunch
baskets?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko shrugged. "We thought we'd make a day out of it."</P>
<p align=left>"So what are you doing here, Nabiki?" Ranma asked.</P>
<p align=left>"I'm being paid good money to record this little event."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu was curious. "What event?"</P>
<p align=left>Surprisingly, it was Ryoga who answered. "The Matriarch's
Challenge."</P>
<p align=left>"Is that an Amazon game show?" Jiro asked snidely.</P>
<p align=left>"Stupid-Boy have no respect for tradition - as usual," said
a lilting voice from above.</P>
<p align=left>Standing atop a nearby light pole was a black-haired girl in
an Amazon fighting outfit, her incredibly long hair was done
in a single braid that reached past her ankles. In one hand
was a dau - the Chinese answer to the katana - and in the
other hand was an ornately-decorated hand fan with obvious
steel edges.</P>
<p align=left>"Rose Petal?!?" Jiro and Ichiro exclaimed in surprise.</P>
<p align=left>"You know her?" Nabiki asked.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma glanced up at her, then looked at Jiro. "Isn't that
our other sister that you slept with?"</P>
<p align=left>Mass facefault, accompanied by a malleting.</P>
<p align=left>"OW!" quoth Ranma.</P>
<p align=left>"Sorry, love," Akane answered. "But that question *demanded*
it."</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal hopped down. "Nihao, Stupid-Brother and Almost-
As-Stupid-Father."</P>
<p align=left>"My daughter," Ichiro said gravely, bowing. "What brings you
to your ancestral homeland besides the opportunity to insult
me?"</P>
<p align=left>"Here on Amazon business."</P>
<p align=left>"You didn't mention she was an Amazon," Ranma said.</P>
<p align=left>"She isn't," Jiro answered.</P>
<p align=left>"'Wasn't'," Rose Petal interrupted. "Adopted into Amazon
tribe after Stupid-Brother left. Best warrior in age group -
would be Village Champion, but not born in tribe, plus
Shampoo family got political clout."</P>
<p align=left>"I take it that the 'business' is this - 'Matriarch's
Challenge' - that Ryoga mentioned?" Ranko asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Yes - hold it! You girl what whip Shampoo! Why you no dead?"</P>
<p align=left>"The 'Kiss of Death' was given by accident. It was later
revoked."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh. Well, anyone who kick Shampoo butt good people. What
you name?"</P>
<p align=left>"Forgive me, oneechan," Ranko said, bowing. "I'm Ranko
Saotome, your sister. "</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal slapped Ichiro in the head with her fan. "Stupid-
Father do it *again*?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko gestured to Ranma, "And this is our brother Ranma -"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal punched Ichiro.</P>
<p align=left>"- And our other brother Ryoga -"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal hit Ichiro in the gut.</P>
<p align=left>"- and Nabiki who may or may not be another sister."</P>
<p align=left>"Here," Akane said, handing Rose Petal her mallet. "Try this."</P>
<p align=left>"TAKE *THIS*, BALLS-FOR-BRAINS!" (WHAM!!)</P>
<p align=left>"Ite ..." Ichiro moaned from the ground.</P>
<p align=left>"Is Vastly-Stupid-Father *completely* unable keep pants up?"
Rose Petal muttered.</P>
<p align=left>"As long as I've known him," Tofu said.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko completed introductions while Ichiro recovered from
his malleting.</P>
<p align=left>"Nice hammer," Rose Petal remarked to Akane. "Good grip,
nice heft."</P>
<p align=left>"Thanks," Akane said, smiling. "I find it very useful in
keeping my man in line."</P>
<p align=left>"HEY!" Ranma remarked, "I'm standing right here, y'know!"</P>
<p align=left>"Hush, silly," Akane said, kissing him gently.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki, Jiro, and Ryoga snickered.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse appeared, dressed in ornate formal robes out of the
Mandarin period. "Everyone please be silent during the
ceremonies. This is essential. I can't emphasize this
strongly enough." He looked at Ryoga. "Should I translate it
to Pig-Latin?"</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga smirked. "Ha-ha. Very funny, Goes-With-Orange-Sauce."</P>
<p align=left>"Just what is going on here?" Ranko demanded.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga answered, "Shampoo has challenged Cologne."</P>
<p align=left>"IS SHE COMPLETELY NUTS?!?" Ranma protested. "She'll be
killed!"</P>
<p align=left>"At Cologne's level, it works differently," Mousse said. "If
Shampoo wins this challenge, she will be acknowledged by
Amazon Society as a Matriarch in her own right - an equal to
Cologne, and entitled to a seat on the Amazon Council."</P>
<p align=left>All assembled were impressed.</P>
<p align=left>"And if she loses?" Nabiki asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Slavery," Rose Petal said.</P>
<p align=left>All assembled cringed.</P>
<p align=left>"I think Shampoo would rather be dead," Ranma said softly.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse took a deep breath. "That is also an option."</P>
<p align=left>"That reason Rose Petal here," the adopted Amazon said.
"Rose Petal witness, report to Council. Report and video be
presented to Council, make contest legal."</P>
<p align=left>Mousse began openly weeping.</P>
<p align=left>"C'mon, Mousse - it ain't that bad," Ryoga said. "She's been
preparing for this for a week."</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo almost seventeen," Rose Petal remarked. "Youngest-
ever winner of Matriarch Challenge one hundred thirty-eight.
Few try before one hundred fifty."</P>
<p align=left>"So," Ranko summed up. "We're watching a toddler enter a
match against a Grand Champion."</P>
<p align=left>
Rose Petal nodded. "Should be short and nasty."</P>
</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The appointed hour came, and Mousse stood by the brazier. He
sprinkled various obscure powders in the brazier, muttering
words whose meaning even Tofu did not know.</P>
<p align=left>He removed a lit match from somewhere in his sleeves and
dropped it in, causing an ethereal white flame to spring up.</P>
<p align=left>Stepping back from the brazier, Shampoo and Cologne arrived
and entered the circle.</P>
<p align=left>Both wore identical blue robes and identical lacquered
headpieces, in the design of intertwined flowering vines
with blooms of many colors. On Shampoo, they looked alluring
and exotic; on Cologne, they looked alien and bizarre.</P>
<p align=left>The two women bowed slightly over the brazier, then sat upon
the chairs.</P>
<p align=left>To a casual observer, it appeared that the two women just
stared at each other. </P>
<p align=left>To this audience, with highly-trained ki senses, other
events were happening.</P>
<p align=left>Their auras expanded, flowed forward, and into the fire.</P>
<p align=left>The white flame suddenly became green and blue. The two
colors swirled, then separated, leaving the half that faced
Shampoo blue, and the other half green.</P>
<p align=left>"What's happening?" Nabiki asked Rose Petal in a whisper.</P>
<p align=left>"Two womans put wills into Sacred Flame," Rose Petal
explained. "Now wills struggle for dominance. Both argue
positions, make wills strengthen and weaken. When flame one
color, winner decided. Is contest not only of logic in
positions and ability to present argument, but willpower."
</P>
<p align=left>"[Xian Pu,]" Cologne said in the Amazon dialect, "[You were
sent to this land to retrieve a strong husband. You did so.
Now we must return, to strengthen the Nation.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[I disagree, Koh Lon,]" Shampoo answered. "[I believe the
Nation will be strengthened in other ways than breeding our
people like farm animals, and that I can better serve the
Nation here.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame flared up briefly, but Shampoo's never
wavered.</P>
<p align=left>"[I have the experience of three hundred years of adult
wisdom, *child*,]" Cologne said harshly. "[I know what is
best.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[I have knowledge of the world as it is,]" Shampoo replied,
"[Not dreams of how the Elders wish it to be.]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo's side flared, while Cologne's burnt steady.</P>
<p align=left>"[For three thousand years, Xian Pu, we have survived by
mating the strong to the strong, by standing above the petty
dynasties and squabbles of the rest of the world. We have
the mightiest warriors in the world, who practice the
strongest martial art in the world. That is the way things
are.]"</P>
"[You are wrong, Koh Lon. On both counts.]"</P>
Cologne's flame burst out beyond the brazier, a visible
display of her outrage.</P>
<p align=left>"[In the past,]" Shampoo continued, unimpressed. "[The
Amazons have avoided conflict with the winged inhabitants of
Phoenix Mountain, and their god, Saffron. For in the past, a
thousand warriors once challenged Saffron, and only two
survived.]</P>
<p align=left>"[Yet I watched Saffron die. At the hands of a warrior who
was *not* an Amazon.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame dimmed briefly.</P>
<p align=left>"[He was trained in Amazon techniques, and the Phoenix-God
had not attained his full powers.]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo's flame flickered slightly.</P>
<p align=left>"[But he made those techniques his own. You yourself taught
me that the Hiryu Shoten Ha had but a single combat
function, which could not be changed without disrupting the
conditions that allowed the maneuver to be performed.]</P>
<p align=left>"[Yet Ranma Saotome is capable of wielding the Hiryu Shoten
Ha in a manner that, according to you, was impossible.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame decreased in height.</P>
<p align=left>"[The conditions were unique, the move a clumsy
improvisation.]" Desperately, Cologne changed the subject.
"[And still that does not answer the question. Why do you
refuse to bring your husband home?]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame flared back up.</P>
<p align=left>"[To strengthen and preserve the Nation.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne seemed confused. "[This is contradictory. The Nation
cannot be strengthened by keeping powerful warriors away.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[You are wrong.]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo's fire grew.</P>
<p align=left>"[How may the Nation be destroyed, Koh Lon?]" Shampoo asked.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne laughed. "[The Nation cannot be destroyed! No army
can conquer the Jusenkyo valley!]"</P>
<p align=left>"[I know several ways,]" Shampoo said. "[A tactical nuclear
device, detonated a kilometer over the valley, would destroy
all life. The People's Government has thousands of such
devices, and the means of delivering them.]</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's fire decreased a step.</P>
<p align=left>"[An odorless, colorless nerve gas can be released fifty
kilometers away and be blown into the valley, killing all
animal life, including human. Once again, the People's
Government has thousands of liters of such chemicals.]</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's fire decreased another step.</P>
<p align=left>"[An artificial virus, unknown to our herbalists, can be
released, killing all humans in the valley before we knew
anything was wrong. Again, such a weapon is possessed by the
People's Government.]</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's fire decreased yet another step.</P>
<p align=left>"[The Amazons are mighty warriors - but in today's world,
that is not enough. Should the 'petty dynasties' that rule
today's world decide that the Amazons are too bothersome,
then the Amazons will die. Without ever seeing the faces of
their killers.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[But they have not,]" Cologne argued, "[Because we have
kept our own laws and counsel. Because we live our
traditional lives.]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo's eyes blazed, sending her flame high. "[Are we
proud warriors, or are we sheep?!? Do we cower and hide
because we might be slapped down?!? What happened to 'the
mightiest warriors practicing the mightiest martial art'? Or
was that a lie?]"</P>
<p align=left>Mousse and Rose Petal gasped in shock. Shampoo just told a
*Matriarch* that one of the Prime Tenets of Amazon Culture
was a *LIE*??</P>
<p align=left>"[It is true!]"</P>
<p align=left>"[It is NOT!!]" Shampoo said. "[Look around you!]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne glanced around her, at the assembled persons; Ryoga,
Ranma, Ranko, Jiro, the physician Tofu, the Amazon Rose
Petal, another man she did not know.</P>
<p align=left>"[Around us,]" Shampoo said, "[Are the family of my chosen
consort - the mightiest warriors the world has ever seen.]</P>
<p align=left>"[My chosen consort, Ryoga, whom you referred to as 'one of
your most promising students' - and whose strength is
unequaled by any save beasts and monsters.]</P>
<p align=left>"[Ranma Saotome, who killed the Phoenix-God, and performed
feats that are considered impossible. Who defeated *you* in
fair battle - twice!]</P>
<p align=left>"[His sister Ranko Saotome, his equal in the Art in every
way;]"</P>
<p align=left>"[Rose Petal, who would now be the Champion, save for
political considerations and pointless prejudice -}"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal blushed at this acknowledgement of her
ability. She felt slightly ashamed of having referred to
Shampoo as a 'brainless tart' behind her back.</P>
<p align=left>"[And Jiro Hibiki, once called Pantyhose Taro - whom once,
as I recall, defeated fifty Amazon warriors in one day just
for something to do.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame had dwindled.</P>
<p align=left>"[And with them, their father, Ichiro Hibiki. Would you care
to judge *his* prowess? Or just accept that his own children
dare not cross him?]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne appraised the strange man. His aura, his body
language ... yes, she might believe that. He even looked
like Ranma, unlike that idiot Genma. (I wonder if he'd like
to settle down in a nice quiet Amazon village?)</P>
<p align=left>"[What of your boast now, Koh Lon?]"</P>
<p align=left>"[IRRELEVANT!!]" Cologne shrieked, sending her flame up like
a geyser. "[You have taken one of them as a mate! Thus his
strength is Amazon strength! That strength, guided by the
Elders' wisdom, makes us mighty!]" Cologne's eyes narrowed.
"[That same wisdom holds the secrets of the Jusenkyo Curses!
A wisdom that can cure you!]"</P>
<p align=left>"[We know that wisdom - refrain from changing for a year and
a day.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne snorted contemptuously. "[There are *other* cures!
Do you think we would allow knowledge of the easiest or
safest methods of curing the Curse to leave the Archives? We
know *all* the Lore of Jusenkyo! Lore which can help you and
you mate - and his family - or doom you all!]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo gazed at Cologne with pity. "[Is that what you've
been reduced to, Koh Lon? Blackmail and threats?]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne looked into Shampoo's steady gaze ... and knew fear.
The child was so confident, uncowed even before her threats
and her rage. It was like this was a different person.</P>
<p align=left>"[You claim to know *all* the lore of Jusenkyo,]" Shampoo
said.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne felt her confidence rise. "[All!]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo gestured to Ryoga, who brought out a small box.
Placing the box on the ground, he removed a small cat, pink
with purple points. The cat lolled, drugged into a stupor.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's eyes widened in recognition of Shampoo's cursed
form, as did Mousse's.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo nodded, and Ryoga pulled out a bottle of water. He
poured a small quantity on the cat ... who became a naked
Shampoo.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse, Rose Petal, and Cologne looked back and forth
between the two identical Shampoos, surprise and confusion
on their faces.</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga pulled out a thermos and poured some steaming water on
the naked Shampoo, who became a cat once more.</P>
<p align=left>"[You who know *all* of Jusenkyo lore]," Shampoo said
sarcastically, "[can surely explain what you have just
witnessed.]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne looked away.</P>
<p align=left>"[You did not even know that the true Curse is not the
changing of form, but the creation of a second soul, who
wars within the victim, creating nightmares and eventually
madness.]" </P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stood. "[Your assumptions of Amazon superiority have
weakened the Nation, to the point where we now stand on the
brink of extinction! And your solution to these threats to
the Nation's very existence?!? Ignoring them while you play
your pervert's breeding games!]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame dwindled lower and lower, while Shampoo's
flame grew, encroaching on the territory formerly held by
Cologne's fire.</P>
<p align=left>"[The survival of the Amazon Nation is not in breeding, but
in *expansion*! We can't all dwell in one place, like a
target on an archery range, waiting to be shot full of
holes! We must *grow*!]"</P>
<p align=left>Suddenly, Cologne's flame burst up, pushing Shampoo's back.</P>
<p align=left>"[Foolish child! The Empire lasted a bare fifteen years
before the forces of Genghis Khan crippled it! And your own
arguments have spelled out why a new Empire could not be
born!]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo just shook her head. "[I spoke not of Empires, but
expansion. Colonies would suit our purposes much better,
anyway.]"</P>
<p align=left>"['Colonize' *where*? This planet has been claimed, down to
the last mote of dust! Or were you thinking of catching a
ride on a UFO?]"</P>
<p align=left>"[Every major city on Earth has a Chinatown. Many nations
have places that may be purchased. It would be simple to set
up small villages in major cities, that keep an Amazon
lifestyle.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[They would be swallowed up! Absorbed!]" Cologne said
contemptuously.</P>
<p align=left>"[Like the Hasidim? The Amish? The Muslims?]"</P>
<p align=left>(Damn - good point.) "[Would you scatter our people across
the Earth? There are less than two thousand Amazons alive!
You would leave us without a homeland!]"</P>
<p align=left>"[No,]" Shampoo said. "[The Laws of Inclusion allow the
recruiting of outsiders into the Nation. Like Rose Petal. We
just need a few, then we recruit others. We will find the
strong and willful women and the strong and willing males.
The nation will grow, with fresh blood from the four corners
of the earth!]</P>
<p align=left>"[We would have Joketsuzoku as our homeland, but we would
survive its destruction. The Nation would grow, and
prosper.]</P>
<p align=left>"[What is more, we would have a true voice in the affairs of
the host nations. We would make an impact on the world. No
more would we be a quaint legend or a laughingstock, but a
proud, strong people!]"</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's flame died, filling the brazier with a single blue
flame.</P>
<p align=left>Cologne collapsed as the psychic backlash hit her. Tofu and
Rose Petal rushed to her aid.</P>
<p align=left>"SHAMPOO!" Mousse cried, rushing toward her, arms
outstretched -</P>
<p align=left>- only to meet *that look*. It was the look that Cologne
gave him when she felt he was being too stupid for his own
good.</P>
<p align=left>Mousse stopped in panic.</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal came up and bowed. "[I congratulate you,
Matriarch Xian Pu.]"</P>
<p align=left>"[Thank you, Warrior Rose Petal.]"</P>
<p align=left>She nodded toward Cologne. "[What of her?]"</P>
<p align=left>"[Let her resume her station in Joketsuzoku. I and my mate
will remain, and found a fourth village in Nerima. When our
population has grown enough, a delegate will be sent to the
Council.]"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal nodded. The Second and Third Villages had been
founded in just such a fashion, so it had the strength of
precedent.</P>
<p align=left>Besides, she knew the rest of the Council would be looking
at Shampoo's colonial experiment with great interest.</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sat in a booth in the Nekohanten, looking like she
just ran a marathon. Ryoga gave her tea and warm broth and
fussed over her. Around them, the witnesses to her Ascension
to the Matriarchy were celebrating, as were a few other
guests...</P>
<p align=left>"How the hell did you beat Cologne's will?" Ranma asked.
"Did you drug her or something?"</P>
<p align=left>"Ranma!" Akane said, hitting him in the back of the head.
"That's rude!"</P>
<p align=left>"No, but ..." Shampoo smiled. "Shampoo cheat - with Ranma
help."</P>
<p align=left>"ME?!?" Ranma exclaimed. "What'd I do??"</P>
<p align=left>"On Phoenix Mountain. Ranma use egg spell and mirror."
</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo sighed. "Egg spell make victim obey who first see
when emerge from egg. Ranma show Shampoo mirror."</P>
<p align=left>"So?" Ranma asked.</P>
<p align=left>"From that day, Shampoo listen only to heart."</P>
<p align=left>"Then why hang around here?" Ranko asked. "Why not just
leave?"</P>
<p align=left>"Shampoo learn new things here, now Shampoo see with new
eyes. When time came, Shampoo left."</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal handed her a note. "[The Council sent this note
for you.]"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo opened it, and laughed softly.</P>
<p align=left>"What's so funny?" Ryoga asked, attracting the notice of the
rest of the celebrants.</P>
<p align=left>"Note from Amazon Council, respect Shampoo's courage in
attempting Challenge, waving slavery penalty, since not fair
to enslave one so young and outclassed." She chuckled. "Comb
and Brush have seizures when hear Shampoo win.</P>
<p align=left>"And adoption of baby approved!" Shampoo crowed. "With
comments - mostly 'Now have revenge on Panty-Stealing
Demon!'"</P>
<p align=left>Everyone chuckled in agreement.</P>
<p align=left>"Since Matriarch present, and is oldest blood-relative, they
leave name decision in Matriarch's hands." Shampoo thought.
"Now *Shampoo* Matriarch of Fourth Village, and mother of
baby. Shampoo name baby!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo gestured at Ryoga, who handed the infant to her.
"Meet Shampoo son, first Amazon of Fourth Village -
Conditioner!"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro slammed his head into the table he shared with his
father and stated into the wood slab, "I wanted to name the
bugger 'Pantyhose' to see how he likes it."</P>
<p align=left>"Afraid not, oniichan," Ranko chimed in. "Your monster-half
took that one."</P>
<p align=left>"Wants me to kill it, that's it."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma grinned, tracing a finger over the infant's gurgling
mouth. "I think the name is good for him - YOWCH!!!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo giggled. "He teething."</P>
<p align=left>"First child ... " Ryoga murmured, stroking Conditioner's
head. "And more to follow from the Matriarch of the Fourth
Village herself."</P>
<p align=left>The Amazon smiled broadly, hugging both her son and her
fiancé. "{We'll make that family together, my love.}"</P>
<p align=left>* * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Chapter Eighteen</P>
<p align=left>The next morning found Doctor Ono Tofu escorting Ranko to
school to explain her unique situation to Hinako-sensei.</P>
<p align=left>Both held the other's hand quietly, thinking their own
thoughts. Thoughts centered around the suspiciously-
convenient appearance of an old girlfriend who may (or may
not) be a Whipmistress.</P>
<p align=left>Thoughts were also on the impending test results of her
family.</P>
<p align=left>"Ono-sama?"</P>
<p align=left>"Yes?"</P>
<p align=left>A shy smile came over her lips and a blush crossed her
cheeks. "There's a dark alley over there ... "</P>
<p align=left>He chuckled, squeezing her hand. "Not yet, my sweet. Slowly,
remember?"</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, I know," she giggled. "But ... it's so tempting!"
</P>
<p align=left>She spun around and wrapped her arms around his neck,
kissing him deeply. Her tongue traced over his lips.</P>
<p align=left>"Why, Miss Saotome," he feigned innocence. "Are you trying
to seduce me?"</P>
<p align=left>She chuckled. "Do you want me to?"</P>
<p align=left>In the previously-mentioned alley, a figure in boxers and t-
shirt leapt out of the darkness and before the couple. He
waved the object he held in the air, grinning maniacally.</P>
<p align=left>"Release that fair maiden, foul sorcerer Tofu! I have
figured out your evilly lecherous plans to ravish her soft,
milky, delicious flesh, you hentai!"</P>
<p align=left>Doctor Tofu, normally prone to keeping a straight face when
presented with outrageous situations, stared at the
perversely-shaped bokken and let his jaw disconnect in
disbelief.</P>
<p align=left>"And you call *me* a hentai when *you* wave *that* thing
around??" he asked incredulously.</P>
<p align=left>"The Master wrote, 'There is no hypocrisy in honest lust,'"
quoted Kuno.</P>
<p align=left>Ranko sighed, deep fuchsia across her cheeks. "Go away.
Please? You're embarrassing me!"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo, passing by from her shopping in the vegetable
market earlier, noted the unusual weapon Kuno held and
stated, "Shampoo seen better." Then resumed her walk back to
the Nekohanten. </P>
<p align=left>After all, it was just Stick-Boy (Threat Classification:
Mostly Harmless). Tofu and Ranko shouldn't even work up a
sweat.</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stopped abruptly as a hand grabbed her breast.</P>
<p align=left>"Hotcha!" Kuno exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left>A spinning backhand punch sent Kuno sailing straight toward
Ranko.</P>
<p align=left>"Sweeto!" he cried, his hands extended ...</P>
<p align=left>Tofu's foot connected before Kuno got within groping
distance, sending him into a wall.</P>
<p align=left>Kuno slid out of the Kuno-shaped depression and slid to the
ground.</P>
<p align=left>"I could have handled him, ichuunohito," Ranko said.</P>
<p align=left>"I was more worried about *him* handling *you*, if you know
what I mean."</P>
<p align=left>She smiled sweetly. "Thank you for protecting my maidenly
virtue, handsome knight." She licked her lips. "Perhaps I
should give you my maidenly virtue - for safekeeping."</P>
<p align=left>He smiled back. "We *do* have an appointment, Ko-chan."</P>
<p align=left>The pair continued to Furinkan High School, arm in arm,
occasionally glancing at each other and smiling like idiots.</P>
<p align=left>They arrived at Furinkan at lunchtime, and were immediately
noticed by the student body.</P>
<p align=left>The notorious Ranko Saotome, on the arm of a well-known
local doctor, were watched by assorted students as they
proceeded to the conference room.</P>
<p align=left>Nabiki Tendo, passing out the meager winnings from a betting
pool, was immediately asked about it.</P>
<p align=left>"Hey, Nabiki-san! Is the doctor giving her some medical
excuse for being so violent?"</P>
<p align=left>"No!" Nabiki said harshly. "For your information - Two
thousand, please."</P>
<p align=left>Money quickly changed hands.</P>
<p align=left>"- For your information, Doctor Ono Tofu is her *boyfriend*,
as well as her employer. So there."</P>
<p align=left>"Can't be!" a girl exclaimed. "Everyone *knows* she's a
lez!"</P>
<p align=left>"Hmph!" Nabiki replied. "It's been my experience that if
'everybody knows' something, it's usually wrong." Nabiki
smiled a cold and nasty smile. "Like everyone *knows* you
couldn't have *possibly* lost your virginity to -"</P>
<p align=left>"YAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" the girl screamed before the Awful Secret
could be revealed.</P>
<p align=left>(Don't go bad-mouthing my family, you skinny tart,) Nabiki
said to herself.</P>
<p align=left>From the time it took Tofu and Ranko to walk from the front
door to the second-floor conference room, the school
grapevine went from 'She's a slut and gay' to 'Ranko's
carrying Doctor Tofu's child'.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo allowed herself to calm down after the incident
involving the new pervert on the block, and eventually made
her way upstairs to the living quarters above the
Nekohanten.</P>
<p align=left>She knocked politely at the door of her great-grandmother's
room.</P>
<p align=left>(Great-grandmother, now my equal. Am I 'too big for my
britches' now? Have I bitten off more than I can chew?)</P>
<p align=left>"Enter," responded the familiar old voice.</P>
<p align=left>"{Great-grandmother, would you like some breakfast?}"
Shampoo asked, stepping into Cologne's sanctuary.</P>
<p align=left>The old Amazon looked up at the girl, packing her trunks
with her magic items and other bric-a-brac.</P>
<p align=left>"{Later, child ... Am I permitted to call you that,
Matriarch Xian Pu?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo broke into a smile, kneeling down to hug her. "{Of
course, great-grandmother. Between us. Why all the trunks?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I have no use of being here,}" Cologne replied. "{You are
the Matriarch of the Fourth Village, and my being here will
be in your way. I'm going back to the old village.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo stood, nodding slowly. "{I'll miss you terribly.
Please visit me often, to see that I am doing the Amazon
Nation proud.}"</P>
<p align=left>The old woman smiled, patting her great-granddaughter's
cheek gently. "{I've always been proud of you. The challenge
has made you stronger and has earned my highest respect for
you - as well as being a thing of legends. You will be a
fine Matriarch, my child.}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo hugged her again, and left Cologne to her packing,
returning downstairs to where Rose Petal was digging into a
bowl of ramen.</P>
<p align=left>"{You will escort Matriarch Kon Lon back to China?}"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal looked up from her meal and slurped up the
noodles. "{Yes. With your permission, Matriarch Xian Pu, may
I be allowed to return here to Nerima and be part of the
Fourth Village?}"</P>
<p align=left>Shampoo cocked her head to the side, studying the adopted-
Amazon girl, her fiancé's half-sister. She *could* see the
resemblance to Ranko in her face and eyes. "{Any particular
reason?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{I feel I need to keep an eye on my family, if you catch my
meaning,}" Rose Petal chuckled. "{And I'd like to get to
know them ... at least Ranko and maybe your Airen, too, as
he is my brother by my idiot father.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Agreed - *someone* needs to keep an eye on your father,}"
Shampoo agreed, smiling. "{You are welcomed to stay. We will
continue to run the Nekohanten, and I will need a new
assistant with the business since Mousse is going back to
village with great-grandmother.}"</P>
<p align=left>"QUACK!!" came the sound of an outraged duck from the
kitchen. (No one asked ME! I would make an excellent First
Husband!)</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal nodded, grinning. "{It's settled then. I thank
you, Matriarch Xian Pu.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{About that - just call me Shampoo. I'm too new to this
to be comfortable with formality.}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Done. Where's my idiot father staying in Nerima?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{His - your - family has a homestead here, but he can
usually be found at the Saotome home or the Tendo dojo.}"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal nodded, smiling slightly. </P>
<p align=left>"[Airen and I are going to the medical clinic on some
matters concerning your other siblings,}" Shampoo mentioned.
"{Would you care to accompany us?}"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal finished off her remaining soup broth. "{Sounds
interesting. Why not?}"</P>
<p align=left>"{Mayhap I may accompany you, my dear?}" Cologne asked. "{I
have some questions to ask myself.}"</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Once again, the Nerima Wrecking Crew and associates (in this
case, Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, Ryoga, Jiro, Kasumi, Shampoo and
her son Conditioner, Ranko, Nodoka, Ichiro, Cologne, and now
Rose Petal) were jammed into the waiting room of Tofu's
clinic.</P>
<p align=left>Jiro looked bored, but when he looked ready to leave, Kasumi
put her hand on his arm, and he smiled and settled back
down. They'd dated twice in the past week, and Kasumi never
looked happier. Jiro even smiled sometimes in a non-nasty
fashion. Everyone was still puzzled over the mating of the
two and the changes in the monster-boy's personality.</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Akane were snuggling quietly in a corner, softly
discussing things that lovers discuss. Everyone was used to
this sight now, but were still controlling themselves in
hosing down the two with cold water. (That had been tried,
but then it was discovered that the two completely ignored
both the soaking and gender-change.)</P>
<p align=left>Ryoga and Shampoo were sitting on the floor and playing with
the baby. Conditioner wore a smaller version of Ryoga's
bandana around his wispy blonde head; sometimes he grabbed
it to put it in his mouth if Shampoo didn't take it away and
murmur, "{We must not eat Daddy's bandannas - steel is
unhealthy.}"</P>
<p align=left>Ranko and Nabiki were attempting to cover up their
nervousness by bantering puns back and forth at each other;
quiet enough not to be kicked out or have magazines thrown
at them. Both had a high stake in the tests.
</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal was listening attentively to Cologne relate an
ancient tale of Queen Gabrielle from the homelands of
Greece. (An unconfirmed rumor had it that the queen's
champion Xena had been adopted into the Amazon Nation and
had taught most of the early martial arts before their clans
came to China.)</P>
<p align=left>Nodoka watched the children, seeing the happiness they
created for themselves and with each other. She could see
the true love and respect between her son and his fiancée.
She could see the fierce nurturing nature of her daughter,
proud and stubborn. She could see how all of them - her
Ramna and Ranko, Ryoga, Jiro, Rose Petal - carried the same
pride and fierceness tempered with compassion and/or respect
given by their father.</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro thought and pondered. How several of his most
exceptional children came to be in the same room was a
mystery to him. He gave up trying to figure out fate and
coincidences - coincidence was a dirty word, and fate did
whatever it damn well pleased. He just accepted it, and had
fun when he could.</P>
<p align=left>At last, Doctor Tofu stepped out of his office, test papers
and graphs on a clipboard before him. He was silent a long
moment as everyone gazed in expectancy at him.</P>
<p align=left>"Will you people please stop staring at me? I feel like I
should have a spotlight on me with this big of an audience."</P>
<p align=left>A few muttered 'gomens' were heard as the crowd settled
down.</P>
<p align=left>"Alright, first thing's first. Nabiki, you are *not* related
to Ichiro Hibiki - "</P>
<p align=left>"YES!! YES!! YES!! YAHOO!!" Several persons said 'ouch' as a
cartwheeling Nabiki bounced off of them.</P>
<p align=left>"Thank-you so much," Ichiro said blandly. "That does wonders
for my ego."</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal and Jiro hit him on the back of the head.</P>
<p align=left>"Breeder-Man got enough kids!" Rose Petal snapped.</P>
<p align=left>"You should be grateful history didn't repeat itself,
Ichiro!" Jiro added.</P>
<p align=left>"AHEM!" Ranko said. "As fascinating as this is, there are
some serious scientific issues to be dealt with here -" And
she quickly took the clipboard to flip through it.</P>
<p align=left>"A-HA!!" she said. "See? Here it is!"</P>
<p align=left>"What?" several persons asked.</P>
<p align=left>"The allergen tests I ordered for you, my favorite doctor."</P>
<p align=left>Tofu looked surprised.</P>
<p align=left>"'Positive'! See? 'Strong allergic reaction shown in blood
samples'."</P>
<p align=left>"Allergic to what?" he asked.</P>
<p align=left>She gently swatted him with the reports. "*Kasumi's* blood
sample, you dip!"</P>
<p align=left>Kasumi looked surprised.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu looked confused.</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" the audience asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Your 'Kasumi-attacks'," Ranko explained, "were exactly that
- attacks! Seizures induced by Kasumi's biochemistry! I knew
there was something screwy when I saw your aura during an
episode!"</P>
<p align=left>"But I'm not acting oddly now," Tofu pointed out.</P>
<p align=left>"I arranged the seating - she's standing next to an outgoing
air vent, and the air conditioning is blowing from behind
you. You're 'upwind' of her, so to speak." Ranko turned to
Kasumi. "Kasumi-chan ... I'm sorry to request this, but I'll
have to ask you to seek another doctor."</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, that's quite all right, Ko-chan," Kasumi answered with
good grace, despite just being told her mere presence made
someone convulse. "Under the circumstances, I have no
problem with that."</P>
<p align=left>"Damn," Ranma said, "I thought he was just nuts from being
in love."</P>
<p align=left>Akane pondered that. "Come to think of it, it *is* an odd
way to act if you're in love."</P>
<p align=left>"Now here's the interesting bits," he said, taking the
clipboard back. "Ranma, Ranko, Jiro, and Ryoga are
definitely Ichiro's children beyond question." Tofu looked
at the father in question. "Ichiro-san, one word -
'protection'."</P>
<p align=left>Ichiro shrugged. "Sometimes a man gets caught in a storm
without an umbrella."</P>
<p align=left>"Pervert," came several murmurs from around the room. The
more cynical were coughing into their hands what sounded like
'Bullshit-bullshit-bullshit'.</P>
<p align=left>"And all those with the Jusenkyo curse have an interesting
blood factor, not known to medical science. Research may -"</P>
<p align=left>A wadded-up piece of paper bounced off his head. "Bor-ring!"</P>
<p align=left>"Jiro-san! Behave!"</P>
<p align=left>"Sorry, Kasumi-chan."</P>
<p align=left>"Well, that's of no interest to you, except that perhaps we
can use it to find a possible cure - eventually."</P>
<p align=left>"Define 'eventually'," Shampoo said.</P>
<p align=left>"Years," Tofu clarified. "Perhaps decades."</P>
<p align=left>Several raspberries sounded from the less mature persons.</P>
<p align=left>"And Ranma and Ranko are the most interesting of all."</P>
<p align=left>The Saotomes perked up.</P>
<p align=left>Tofu looked smug. "It seems you are the first-ever diploid
twins to be discovered in the higher animals."</P>
<p align=left>They looked at each other, then at Tofu. "Huh?"</P>
<p align=left>"Everyone gives half of their genetic code to their
offspring," Tofu explained. "Usually, the other half is
ignored in the reproductive process - discarded. But in your
case, it was conserved."</P>
<p align=left>"What does *that* mean?" Ranma asked.</P>
<p align=left>"What it means is that you two test as the biological
children of Ichiro and Nodoka - but have no common genetic
material. From a genetic point of view, you are related to
your parents, but you're not related to each other at all."</P>
<p align=left>Ranma and Ranko looked at each other oddly.</P>
<p align=left>"So," Nodoka asked, "There would be no difficulty in them
having children?" That question had worried her for most of
the past week, since Akane's revelation that the two had a
'special' relationship.</P>
<p align=left>A few 'BWAAAK!!'s were heard from various personages.
</P>
<p align=left>"None whatsoever," Tofu said. "From a genetic viewpoint, in
fact, it would be safer than breeding with a random
stranger."</P>
<p align=left>Almost everyone in the room was embarrassed beyond belief. </P>
<p align=left>"Damn, Ranma - your mom's *weird*!" Jiro said.</P>
<p align=left>Akane felt shock, then a cold fear. Reflexively, she grabbed
Ranma's arm and pulled him close. (NO! NO! NO! MINE!)</P>
<p align=left>Cologne's mind was spinning. (Two of the mightiest warriors
in the world, each powerful enough to slay a god in direct
battle ... 'mate the strong to the strong' ... perhaps
I'll take Shampoo's offer to visit occasionally. After all,
they'll be associates of the Amazons through marriage, so
adoption would be just a minor formality ...)</P>
<p align=left>"Anyway," Ranko stated to cover up her own emotional
whirlwind. "We have answers to questions we've had the past
two weeks. It's settled."</P>
<p align=left>"I have a question still unanswered," Cologne cleared her
throat like a rusty chainsaw. "Hibiki-san, I noticed your
children that are present here are superb martial artists.
Is this the same with *all* of your offspring?"</P>
<p align=left>"Hiba-chan ... " Shampoo warned her softly.</P>
<p align=left>"Those whose mothers I have kept contact with seem to
display an unusual talent in martial arts or other physical
skills," he replied, puzzled. "One even won a gold medal in
the Olympics. Why do you ask?"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro groaned. "There are *more*?"</P>
<p align=left>Rose Petal rolled her eyes heavenward. "Figures. Stupid-
Father no breed - Stupid-Father pollinate."</P>
<p align=left>Cologne grinned, a scary smile that made the teenagers'
spines tingle. "Would you care to settle in an Amazon
village for a few months?"</P>
<p align=left>Jiro hit the floor laughing hysterically as Kasumi blushed
in a very lady-like fashion. Ranma and Ryoga looked
completely confused as it went over their heads like a 747.
Akane blushed in deep embarrassment as her sister Nabiki
joined Jiro on the floor in guffaws. Shampoo, seeing how
simply giggling would be undignified for a new Matriarch,
smirked to herself. Tofu cleared his throat to cover up his
chuckle. Rose Petal rubbed her temples to try to get rid of
her headache. Nodoka fought jealousy with a smirk and a
murmuring of, "Karma bites hard, darling."</P>
<p align=left>Ranko snorted. "You have a one-track mind, Cologne."</P>
<p align=left>"Racial survival is the *only* track, child," Cologne
replied gravely. "Except for money and television."</P>
<p align=left>Mass facefault.</P>
</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>The Saotomes and Tendos (except Ranko, who was working the
night shift at the clinic) finished their evening meal in an
unusually good mood.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, Ranma," Genma said casually, "How are you and your
fiancée getting along?"
</P>
<p align=left>"Wonderfully," Ranma said. (Oh boy, is this going to be
fun!)</P>
<p align=left>"Heavenly," Akane said. (I'm looking forward to this!)
</P>
<p align=left>They'd spent much of the day discussing things with Nabiki,
and figuring out all the angles. It hadn't surprised either
of them to discover Nabiki had already set up her own plot,
which fit in with their own ideas perfectly. (After all,
she's Nabiki.)</P>
<p align=left>"Well, in that case," Genma said in his most subtle fashion,
"Why don't you two get married right away?"</P>
<p align=left>"Good idea, Genma!" Ranma said.</P>
<p align=left>Genma was so shocked that he didn't even noticed that Ranma
had called him by his proper name - something the boy had
never done in his life.</P>
<p align=left>"OH JOY!!" Soun cried.</P>
<p align=left>"Just one thing first," Akane interjected.
</P>
<p align=left>"OH DESPAIR!!" Soun cried. "*Another* damn obstacle to my
little girl's happiness!"</P>
<p align=left>"We're worried about the dojo," Akane said. "There's no way
we'll be able to cover the taxes. According to Nabiki, the
government can demand an inheritance tax of about four
hundred million yen on the Tendo property."</P>
<p align=left>"No problem," Soun said, "We'll simply give the property to
you and Ranma as a wedding gift, thus avoiding the
inheritance tax. This was planned before you were born,
dear."</P>
<p align=left>Akane pulled out a contract. "Then sign this."</P>
<p align=left>Soun picked up the document. "What's this?"</P>
<p align=left>"A legal contract transferring the property over the instant
our marriage is official," Akane answered.</P>
<p align=left>"Y'see," Ranma explained, "We don't want Genma mortgaging
the property behind our backs or trading the house for a
bowl of rice and some pickles."</P>
<p align=left>"Ungrateful whelp!" Genma snapped. "Why would you think I
would do something like that?!?"</P>
<p align=left>Ranma looked at Genma incredulously. "You've gotta be
kidding."</P>
<p align=left>Soun shook his head. "No, that won't be necessary."</P>
<p align=left>"Then it's not necessary for us to get married," Ranma said.</P>
<p align=left>Akane shook her head. "Nope. Not at all."</P>
<p align=left>Soun looked panic-stricken, then scribbled his name down.
"We'll have to get it notarized -"</P>
<p align=left>"Pardon me," said the notary who appeared suddenly at Soun's
elbow, making him jump in shock.</P>
<p align=left>"How did you get there??" Soun asked in shock.</P>
<p align=left>"A simple matter for a master of the Ninja School of Notary
Martial Arts," the notary said, endorsing the document. He
held out his hand, into which Nabiki placed his fee, then he
disappeared with the document.</P>
<p align=left>"Where did he go?" Soun asked.</P>
<p align=left>"To the Records Office to register the contract," Nabiki
said, "So you can't weasel out of it."</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki!" Soun said. "I'm still your father!"</P>
<p align=left>"The same father that was using his youngest child like a
whore so he could steal Ranma's inheritance?" Nabiki said
casually.</P>
<p align=left>"WAAAAAAAAKK!!" Soun answered.</P>
<p align=left>"Nabiki! Don't be silly!" Genma said, visibly sweating. "I'm
not leaving Ranma anything."</P>
<p align=left>"I think she was talking about Hitoshi Matsuhara," Ranma
said. "You know - Mom's father?"</P>
<p align=left>"You remember your wife," Akane continued, "The one whom you
deceived into thinking that she was disinherited by her own
father so you could then use Ranma to steal the trust fund
that would have supported her and made him wealthy."</P>
<p align=left>"And then, after they were no longer useful, you planned to
leave her and Ranma in the cold," Kasumi finished. "Not to
mention Akane-chan, Nabiki-chan, and myself."</P>
<p align=left>Soun and Genma were stunned. They made babbling, incoherent
noises.</P>
<p align=left>"Well, guess what?" Nabiki said cheerfully. "You two signed
the power-of-attorney for Ranma and Akane over to Kasumi
several days ago. You really should read documents before
you sign them."</P>
<p align=left>"NANI??" the two old men exclaimed.</P>
<p align=left>"Which means," Nabiki continued, "That your grand money-
stealing scheme has come to naught. You can't legally touch
that money - only Kasumi can."</P>
<p align=left>"KASUMI-CHAN!!" Soun wailed. "My darling girl! I know you
love your father -"</P>
<p align=left>"No," she said sweetly.</P>
<p align=left>"Oh, and one more thing," Ranma continued. "Akane and I went
down to City Hall and signed a marriage license dated
tomorrow. So legally, we'll be husband and wife at midnight
tonight."</P>
<p align=left>"And as soon as the clock strikes twelve," Akane finished,
"The house and dojo become legally ours, and your thieving,
lying asses will be on the street."</P>
<p align=left>"You ingrate of a boy!" Genma yelled. "You're no son of
mine!"</P>
<p align=left>"You're right about that," Ranma agreed. "I'm the son of
Ichiro Hibiki, a traveling salesman Mom's been having an
affair with for almost eighteen years."</P>
<p align=left>Soun and Genma had completely blank looks on their faces.</P>
<p align=left>"Huh?" Soun said.</P>
<p align=left>"Wha?" Genma clarified.</P>
<p align=left>"Shocking, isn't it?" Nabiki said pityingly. "All those
years, working toward the Big Payoff, only at the last
moment to watch it slip away." She sighed. "You could have
had IT - wealth, power, lives of ease and luxury - while
leaving your children destitute. Instead, you're going to be
poor homeless drifters in less then four and a half hours."</P>
<p align=left>"Sad, really," Akane said.</P>
<p align=left>"Pathetic," Ranma agreed. "Hey, Akane-chan? Want to move our
things into the master bedroom?"</P>
<p align=left>"Sure!" she said, hopping to her feet. "And just think - we
get the big bed!"</P>
<p align=left>
* * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>At one minute after twelve, Soun stood outside the gates of
the Tendo home, with a panda by his side. Around the two
were various bags and cases.</P>
<p align=left>The gates behind them were locked, perhaps forever.</P>
<p align=left>"What now, old friend?" Soun asked.</P>
<p align=left>The panda shrugged.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>"Akane-chan?" Ranma asked.</P>
<p align=left>"Mmm?" responded Akane, snuggled against him under the
blankets.</P>
<p align=left>"Want to get married?"</P>
<p align=left>She giggled. "We are married, silly." It shocked them both;
they'd agreed to wait, wanted to wait. But this felt so right
that they couldn't help but agree to it.
</P>
<p align=left>"I mean, for real. With a ceremony and everything. Like the
last one, but fewer explosions."</P>
<p align=left>Akane smiled, bright enough to be seen in the dark. "Okay."</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>Another woman stared out over the hazy area of Nerima, bare
moonlight illuminating her European features and blonde </P>
locks.
<p align=left>"Soon, Ono-sama, we shall be One again. You cannot hide
from me forever, my darling doctor."</P>
<p align=left>A sweet giggle echoed in the warm night.</P>
<p align=left> * * * * * * * * * *</P>
<p align=left>For the next few years, a well-known local character in
Nerima was the old man with the flute and his dancing panda,
who would perform for enough coins to buy some cheap sake.</P>
<p align=left>One day, they both vanished. What their fate was, no man
knows.</P>
<p align=left>THE END </P>