Dude de Ching

Right off there is a major problem with this work and that is it's based on a movie that I have never seen and I'm sure many others have not seen, so any references to that movie or what happened in it are lost on the ready.

Second, the dude part of the book is, I think, supposed to be fairly humorous but only in a few instances does this work. Most of the time it doesn't make much sense.

The book contains each dude verse followed by one more regularly translated Tao verse.

Verse 9, Dude Version

When a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong; See what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass; Park in a handicapped spot, perhaps they’ll tow it; Roll your way into the semis, they’re gonna fuck you up; Take any rug in the house, you get a crack on the jaw; Look for the one who will benefit, and they’re gonna cut your dick off. Say “Fuck it” – that’s your answer for everything. This is the way of the Dude.

(The dude translations are in separated sentences but I'm going to leave them in paragraph form as they make at least a tiny bit more sense that way.)

As to the more normal translation:

Verse 9, Regular Version

Stretch a bow to its limit and it is soon broken; Temper a blade to its sharpest and it is soon blunted; Amass the greatest treasure and it is soon stolen; Claim credit and honour and you will soon fall; Retire once your purpose is acheived – this is the way of Nature.

(There are two spelling errors right off unless the author is from England and 'honour' is the normal way to write it. The thing is that this translation makes a lot of sense and is easier to understand than many other translations of this verse that I have seen, causing a lot of imbalance between the dude version and the more acceptable version.)

Another example of major differences in a verse, and how often the dude verses refer to sex, a rug with urine on it and similar things, is found in the very next verse.

Version 10, Dude Version

Embracing toes, you can blow that far, Limber, sighing gently, you can roll a strike, Loosening uptight thinking, you roll out naked. Nurturing your special lady, you can take ‘er easy, Untying your robe, you become tied together, Abiding with the World, you increase the chances of conception. Mixing Kahlua and cream, but not soiling the rug, Giving without demanding ransom, Controlling without being a real reactionary, This is a natural, zesty enterprise. Oh. Yes.

(Getting a woman pregnant also seems to be a major thing in the dude-translated verses.)

Verse 10, Regular version.

Embracing Tao, you become embraced. Supple, breathing gently, you become reborn. Clearing your vision, you become clear. Nurturing your beloved, you become impartial. Opening your heart, you become accepted. Accepting the World, you embrace Tao. Bearing and nurturing, Creating but not owning, Giving without demanding, Controlling without authority, This is love.

(Again, a very good, easy to understand version.)

There is one verse, though, that I think is done very well in the dude version, and this is the following one:

Version 64a, Dude Version

Hold the bowling ball still, so it is easy to grasp; The obstacles do not move, so are easy to aim at; The lane is slick, so easy to roll upon; The pins are not braced, so should be a push over. Yet, A roll that hooks too hard can cause a split; A ball that slides too far can flow into the gutter; A journey of sixty feet begins at the spot under one’s toe. Therefore roll your way into the semis before making it to the finals; Pretend you are bowling while relaxing on your rug; Knock down the pins before you even release the ball.

(I especially like the last sentence. There are many references to bowling in the dude verses. )

Verse 68, Dude version.

A good bowler does not contravene bylaws; A good lord imagines where it goes from here; A good buddy rests easy; A good burger is found on a simple menu; Not contending is the best way to have it your way, Dude. And a good day to you, sir.

Verse 68, standard version.

A good soldier does not use violence; A good fighter does not use anger; A good conqueror does not use attack; A good ruler does not use authority; Not contending is the best way to use men.

(In this case, both versions are good.)

Thus, this is pretty much an unbalanced work, with the standard version translations generally being good, but most of the dude verse translations not being true to the original at all.

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