BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF

Either way, we all feel the pressure exerted by others to mold ourselves to their points of view. It is said that young people feel this form of peer pressure to an even greater extent than do adults.

A major problem of this nature can occur in a marriage, where one spouse follows one path, and the other follows a different, and conflicting path. Cross-faith marriages are fraught with difficulties. Similar problems can arise with long-time friends who don't understand your "sudden" interest in some particular spiritual system.

So what can you do? You have two conflicting choices:

1. Be true to yourself, maintain your independence, and risk rejection.

2. Go along with the crowd, and get acceptance from them, but have internal difficulties with yourself.

Being true to yourself can be a very dramatic activity. Look at all the difficulty women have faced in trying to assume true equality with males. Women have entered the job market and tried to climb the corporate ladder, often reaching a "glass ceiling" where going higher becomes almost impossible. Only recently have women become a significant part of the political establishment as far as political offices are held. Many of these women in the job market, in politics, and in other areas have run into a lot of criticism from men and even from other women. Why can't they just be like other women, accept their positions in life as child-bearers and spouses, and just run their homes like they should? Why do they need to upset the applecart?

Why do gays,lesbians and transgendered people need to make themselves known? Why can't they just practice their activities in secret, like they used to, rather than forming organizations and publishing magazines and books?

Why can't everyone else be just like me?

Because they have a right to be true to themselves. Indeed, they have a spiritual obligation to be true to themselves. Yet it is going to take a lot of energy, drive, and determination to become true to yourself and to remain that way.

As one way of helping, we suggest the following meditation:

1. Get into your comfortable place. Smudge yourself and your work area, then sit quietly and relax. Calm your mind and focus your thoughts.

2. Imagine yourself in any place you wish to be: on a beach, in a lush meadow, deep in a forest, wherever you wish. The weather is perfect, everything is comfortable, and you enjoy being in that moment.

3. Notice that there is a table in front of you-a big table. On the table are lots of small boxes. Each box has a label on the side identifying it. Each box also has a duplicate, but with an opposite label, lying next to it. Some boxes occur in more than pairs, and with various shades of labeling on them.

4. Notice the first set of boxes. They are labeled Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Shinto, Zen, Taoist, Buddhist, Pagan, Native American, Agnostic, Atheist, and so on. There are some people on the other side of the table, and they are trying to convince you to choose one particular box.

5. If that is the box you wish to choose, then fine. Go ahead and pick up the box, and put it on a table behind you. But let's say that is not a box you want. Start to reach for the box you really want. As you do so, notice that the people on the other side of the table are getting really loud. They are yelling at you, threatening you, ordering you to take a particular box.

6. Look the people straight in the eye. Pick up the box you wish, and say "This is my choice." Snap your fingers at them, and watch as all the people look startled and stop talking. Notice also that their outlines have become a little insubstantial. They have become somewhat fuzzy and just slightly harder to see than before.

7. Continue the process of examining the boxes and picking up the ones you really desire. Each time the other people start to act up, choose your box, repeat "This is my choice", and snap your fingers. Watch as each time they become quiet and less substantial.

8. Before long all the people on the other side of the table simply fade away, leaving you to choose freely as you will.

You have the power to be you, if you so desire. The objections of others, the accusations of others, the complaining of others, the pressure of others to join is just so much dust in the wind.

You have the right to be you!