Bye Bye Birdie

YEAR: 1995

LENGTH: ?

CAST: Tyne Daly, Jason Alexander, Vanessa Williams, Chynna Phillips, George Wendt, Marc Kudisch.

SYNOPSIS: From "Mr. Showbiz": "The musical's naive plot concerns a teen-idol pop star, Conrad Birdie, who is about to be sent overseas for military duty (not unlike Elvis). When his half-hearted manager, Albert Peterson, finds himself in debt as a result, Albert's secretary, Rose, comes up with the rather obvious idea of having Conrad record one last song (titled "One Last Kiss") and dedicating it to a teenage girl chosen at random-in this case, one Kim MacAfee from Sweet Apple, Ohio. Albert, Rose, and Conrad make for Sweet Apple to promote the record, and soon the small town is in a tizzy over Conrad. When The Ed Sullivan Show decides to come to town for a live broadcast, pandemonium breaks loose."

Why is it everything is pictured as happening in Ohio? Just think about it: how many times have you watched a TV program or seen a movie where something happens "in Ohio", and usually in Cincinnati. Mark Twain didn't care much for the city, saying something about wanting to be there when Judgment Day comes because everything "happens ten years later in Ohio."

Just recently I saw an X-Files episode (one of the trilogy where Muldur is chasing a train with a "creature" on it), and the train, you guessed it, had a stop-off in Cincinnati. Maybe that's why our city government acts so crazy sometimes; maybe most of them are really aliens in disguise!

And for those old enough to remember it, I kind of miss The Ed Sullivan Show. Where has that type of innocent (sometimes rather strange) entertainment gone?