Oracle on Air
The school is going to have an on-air news program and both Jessica and Elizabeth want to try out for an announcer's permission. Jessica, as usual, cheats but, as usual, things don't go well for her.
Winston finds a way to get back at Bruce by putting hilarious messages on the scroll bar.
Bruce is talking about money and Winston again gets back at him.
Once again Jessica's actions backfire on her. There's also a lot of humor in this episode.
One of the script versions of the episdoe.
Draft 3, June 6, 1994
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
ELIZABETH and JESSICA chat as they walk.
I just can't believe what a jerk
he turned out to be!
Really, Jess, you should find a guy
like Todd: Attentive, trustworthy,
Ugh. That's not a boyfriend, that's
a Cocker Spaniel.
A winded TODD races up, rests his hands on his knees.
Here's you're Frisbee back.
(hands it to her)
Mind if I skip lunch? I promised the
guys I'd shoot some hoop.
Okay, Mr. Scruffy-face ...
Liz gives Todd a quick peck, musses up his hair. He runs
off excitedly. Jess looks at Liz and the Frisbee.
What? It's not like it's covered in
Ahead, Mr. COLLINS hangs a poster which reads "Open
Auditions 4 Oracle News Show." Liz joins him.
News Show? What's the scoop, Mr. C?
The school's installing an in-class
video system. As of next week, the
Oracle goes broadcast.
Elizabeth looks excitedly to Jessica.
INT. CAFETERIA - LUNCH TIME
Elizabeth, Jessica, Enid, Patty, and Lila sit together at
a table. Patty fills in a News Show application.
A live, on-campus news show. This is
What are you going to do for your
audition tape, Liz?
I'm not sure yet. Something with
Well, you're a lock. Collins loves
everything you do.
And from there it's just a small step
to local news. Before you know it,
you'll be Elizabeth Wakefield,
world's first teenage Network Anchor.
Way. Total way.
Complete, total way.
Well, I'm gonna direct. That's where
the POWER is.
What about me? Would I make a
perfect newscaster or what?
Since when are you interested in
Journalism? It's TV news. Give me
time and I'll sound as professional
as oh, you know, Barbara Whatsername.
Easy Babs. You have to research and
write your own stories.
It's a small price to pay for having
one's face in every classroom every
Every classroom? ...Maybe I should
try out. I know exactly what to
This is journalism, guys. There's
more to it than just a smart outfit.
So you think I should wear glasses...
ANGLE-- ANOTHER PART OF THE CAFETERIA
Bruce Patman and his Jock friends eat lunch at a table
bench combination. Bruce finishes emptying a bottle of
Krazy Glue onto the bench.
Watch this …
ANGLE -- SERVING LINE
At the end of the cafeteria line, Winston Egbert, whips
around, assumes a shaky karate stance.
I'm ready for you, Patman.
No matter what you do, I'm always one
Bruce comes up behind Winston, taps him on the shoulder.
Winston is startled.
Whoa, Bruce! ...I saw you coming.
Winston picks up his tray, heads toward the Cashier.
Easy, Winston. You know, this thing
between us is getting out of hand. I
play a trick on you, you try to get
me back. The anger we're building up
could scar us for life. --Here, let
me get that.
Bruce pays the Cashier. Now Winston's really puzzled.
Bruce walks Winston toward the Jock table.
--As I was saying, we should try to
live together peacefully, lion beside
You're the lamb.
Fine, I'm the lamb. So how about it?
...Okay, Bruce. Truce.
Bruce and Winston shake hands. Bruce presents Winston
with the open space on the bench. Winston sits, Bruce
sits opposite him. The jocks suppress chuckles.
This is nice. Can you feel the love?
The Jocks ad-lib assent. A pretty GIRL walks by, smiles
Hi Bruce. Hi Winston...
The Jocks ad-lib greetings. Winston watches the Girl
Whoa, Eggman. She wants you.
Shhyeah! Let's go talk to her...
Bruce gets up. Winston tries to stand but he's firmly
cemented to the bench. The Jocks BUST OUT in LAUGHTER.
What's the matter, egg-head? Butt
(pulls out Krazy Glue bottle)
Oh, gee, empty?? I must've spilled
it all over the bench. I'm REALLY
Bruce and the jocks LAUGH and walk off. Winston calls
I'll get you, Patman!
The BELL RINGS. Students head out of the cafeteria.
Passing Students GIGGLE and point as Winston tries vainly
to free himself from the bench. Principal Cooper passes.
Egbert! Stop that horseplay and get
The Cafeteria is almost empty. Winston tries to pull
himself free one last time. No use. He looks around,
then undoes his pants. Winston wriggles his way out of
them, stands, his spindly legs poking out from Winnie -
Just then, a large group of students enters. HOWLS of
LAUGHTER. Winston turns beet-red, RUNS from the room.
INT. ORACLE OFFICE - DAY
Bronzed hunk RUSS FRANKLIN, with hair just long enough to
be dangerous, stacks video gear onto an AV cart. Jessica
enters. She appreciatively watches Russ' muscular body
strain against his tight clothes as he bends to place
gear onto the cart. Russ notices her.
Can I help you?
You already are ...
Russ smiles, holds his hand out to Jessica.
Russ Franklin. A. V. Guy.
Jess takes Russ' hand to shake it. Russ kisses the back
of her hand.
Jessica Wakefield. Mind if I check
out some of your equipment?
INT. HALLWAY - TRACKING
Russ pushes the cart down the student-filled hall.
Jessica walks with him.
...Communications major at Valley
College, huh? That must be a really
Oh, don't be modest.
Okay... It's tougher than brain
surgery, and I'm the best student in
Jessica laughs. Russ pushes the cart into...
INT. TV STUDIO -- MACHINE ROOM - CONTINUOUS
once a large meeting room, the space has been partitioned
into three sections: Machine Room, Control Room, and
Studio Floor Area.
Russ shows Jessica the Machine Room, a small room tightly
packed with VCRS, Monitors, and Modulators.
This is the nerve center I was
telling you about. Cables run from
here to every classroom on campus.
Impressive. You hook all this stuff
It's all working, too. Though I
can't figure out what's causing that
Cigarettes. This used to be a
Russ nods knowingly.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE STUDIO
Jess emerges with a camcorder case, Russ pushes the cart
out of the Studio, locks up. The class BELL RINGS.
And don't worry about the camera.
You're only supposed to have it two
days, but YOU can keep it as long as
Thanks. You're my hero.
No sweat. Good luck on your tape.
Maybe we'll be working together.
Russ smiles and exits. Jessica watches him go, smiling.
She walks off, passing the Boy's Room before she exits.
The door to the Boy's Room opens, Winston pokes his head
Winston, wearing sweatpants, emerges from the bathroom,
sneaks his way down the hall. Two chatting, smoking
Teachers approach. Winston ducks into a stairwell as
they pass, then exits through a set of double doors to...
EXT. SVH -- STUDENT PARKING LOT - DAY
Parked next to the building, in the handicapped space, is
Bruce's beautiful black Porsche. Winston hurries toward
ANGLE -- CLOSE BESIDE BRUCE'S PORSCHE
Winston kneels beside the rear tire.
You asked for it, Patman...
Winston TEARS open a small cellophane packet with his
teeth. And out of the packet, he pulls ...
A plastic knife. Winston JABS the knife into the tire,
but the knife SNAPS. Winston looks at the broken end in
his hand, throws it down. He pulls the spoon-fork
combination from the packet, starts to jab the tire with
it, then stops.
Winston unscrews the cap from the tire's filling stem,
uses the plastic implement to push down the valve inside.
Saved by the spork...
Air HISSES out of the tire.
...then the Club groundskeeper has
the nerve to tell me to replace my
own divots! Like I'M going to get MY
Winston hears Bruce, looks around the back of the car to
see Bruce and hulking MARCO approach. Winston ducks
back, looks for a means of escape, but he's trapped
against a wall.
ANGLE -- BRUCE AND MARCO
Bruce and Marco close on the car. Bruce rounds his car,
looks down to see...
The plastic flatware packet. He picks it up, shows it to
Can you believe people would litter
in a beautiful place like Sweet
Valley? It's sick.
Bruce tosses the packet back to the ground.
ANGLE -- THE GROUND
The packet flutters to the ground. Behind it, hiding
under Bruce's car, is Winston. He holds his breath.
Bruce gets into the car, it sinks lower onto its
suspension. Winston tries to make himself even flatter.
Then Marco hops in. The car bounces down against
Winston. He stifles a groan.
Tires must be low...
Bruce STARTS THE CAR. A look of terror come over
IN THE CAR
Marco appreciates the ENGINE'S ROAR as Bruce guns it,
shifts into reverse.
UNDER THE CAR
Winston says his prayers.
Bruce backs the car out of the space, revealing an oil
stained, but otherwise uninjured Winston. Bruce PEELS
OUT of the parking lot.
Winston breathes a sigh of relief, sits up. He looks
ruefully at the spork in his hand, tosses it away. SOUND
of an approaching car.
Look! A parking space!
A series of segments from the Students' audition tapes.
Those slugged as 'S TAPE, are treated Video-Camera
POV. All feature the students sitting at desks of some
sort unless otherwise indicated.
INT. CLASSROOM -- ELIZABETH'S TAPE
Elizabeth sits before a neutral background. Her attire
and demeanor are consummately professional.
Good morning, Sweet Valley...
INT. LIBRARY -- MARTIN'S TAPE
A deep-voiced student in a suit (MARTIN) sits before a
Good morning Sweet Valley...
INT. BRUCE'S BEDROOM -- BRUCE'S TAPE
Bruce sits before a picture of himself.
Greetings fellow Gladiators.
INT. FOWLER CREST -- JESSICA'S TAPE
Jessica looks more like a model than a newscaster.
Yo, Sweet Valley High! ... No, too
street. Lila, start it again--
SNOW, WHITE NOISE, then:
Jessica now has her hair pulled back.
Hi Sweet Valley High!
Ack! Perk alert!
(beat, then melodramatic)
Heelllo there, Sweet Valley High...
Elizabeth is clearly more comfortable than her sister.
Here's the news you need to know...
INT. FOWLER CREST -- LIVING ROOM - DAY
Jessica works the camcorder, Lila sits behind an ornate
desk, in a sequined dress, hair perfect. The Camcorder
feeds a nearby BigScreen TV. Lila can't take her eyes
off her image.
Jess rolls her eyes, complies. Lila's face now fills the
BigScreen. Lila watches herself, flutters her eyelids,
licks her lips, obviously in love with her image.
I don't think this will get you on
the news show.
You kidding? Even Mr. Collins can
see Sweet Valley desperately needs my
fashion help. ...And if not, Daddy
will buy me my own cable network.
INT. TODD'S HOUSE -- TODD'S TAPE
We see hands reaching into camera. They pull away,
revealing Todd. He looks into camera, as he backs toward
an unseen chair. He sits, dropping so low, only his
forehead remains in shot.
Todd Wilkins here, with Gladiator
Elizabeth continues, smooth as silk.
...ending a twelve hour standoff and
rescuing all inside ...
INT. CLASSROOM -- WINSTON'S TAPE
Winston, wearing a loud jacket and bow tie, stands before
a blackboard map of the school. Colored weather markings
are drawn on it.
... we'll have partial showers in the
Boy's Locker room, tapering off to
general mustiness in the Gym...
Bruce now rants like Rush Limbaugh.
I'll tell you the problem! Some
PEOPLE have forgotten the meaning of
Jessica struggles through her piece. A stray wisp of
hair hangs before her face, tickling her mouth. Jess
pulls it aside, it falls back down.
And they, um...
(blows at hair)
Darn this hair!
And that's the news you need to know.
Good luck and good day...
INT. WAKEFIELD KITCHEN - NIGHT
Elizabeth is preparing dinner. Jessica enters.
So, how did your tape come out?
Pretty good I think. Want to see it?
INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME
Elizabeth hits "PLAY" on the family VCR. Her image comes
on the screen.
Good morning, Sweet Valley...
Jessica's heart sinks as she watches Liz's thoroughly
professional performance. The tape ends, Elizabeth
Let's see yours.
...I'd better not. I wouldn't want
to show you up.
Trust me, Liz. I'm just trying to
spare your feelings.
Elizabeth rolls her eyes, sets her tape atop the TV and
exits. Jess looks at Liz's tape, then her own. She
scowls. Then, an idea comes to Jessica. It's bad, it's
EVIL. Jess can't help but smile.
INT. ORACLE OFFICE - DAY
Collins watches tapes with Russ who takes notes. On the
monitor, Bruce finishes up.
BRUCE (ON TV)
And THAT, dear friends, is the Patman
Perspective. For a transcript--
Collins stops the tape.
Talk about pompous ...
You said it. But every news team
needs a blowhard.
Collins grabs another tape.
Ah, Elizabeth's tape. This should be
Collins puts it into the VCR, starts it. But it's not
Liz's tape. It shows Jessica struggling with her hair.
And they, um...
(blows at hair)
Darn this hair!
I can't believe it, I was counting on
her. Let's see how Jessica did...
Collins pops a tape labeled "JESSICA WAKEFIELD AUDITION
TAPE" into the VCR, starts it...
The monitor comes back to life, and we recognize the
video as Elizabeth's tape. Collins is struck by its
smooth professionalism. Russ is smitten for other
Now there's a pro...
END OF ACT ONE
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE ORACLE OFFICE - DAY
A clutch of expectant Students. Jessica and Lila stand
next to Elizabeth and Todd. Enid and Winston are nearby.
The suspense is killing me.
Aren't you nervous, Winston?
I don't care about me. But if Patman
gets on, I'll die.
Russ emerges from the oracle office, posts the list. The
Students descend on him like vultures on a kill. Russ
wriggles free as Bruce forces his way to the front.
(thrusts his fist in the air)
Editorial! The Pat-man does it
Is there no justice???
Bruce joins his Jock buddies, they exchange hi-fives.
Jessica and Lila make their way to the fore.
Yes! I got anchor! Read it and
Weep? When MY Fashion Forecast is
going to steal the show? People will
be dying to know: pastels and
ruffles in Spring? Or sleek lines
and ecru? Only Lila knows ...
It's okay, Lila. When I'm hosting
Nightline, I'll remember the little
people like you I trampled to get
Elizabeth scans the list, her name is nowhere to be seen.
She can hardly believe it.
Jessica and Lila get on and I
didn't?? There must be some mistake.
It's got to be. Ask Collins.
Mr. Collins emerges from the Oracle office.
Everybody quiet down! Jessica,
Martin, Lisa, and Bruce. Come get
your story assignments.
Bruce, Martin, and Lisa grab their stories. As Jess
picks hers up:
You did an excellent job, Jessica.
I was good, wasn't I?
She spots Russ, joins him.
Those who didn't get Talent
positions, there's still room on the
crew. Talk to Patty.
Winston and other Students flock to Patty.
I want everyone in the Studio
tomorrow morning by eight. Talent,
have your copy ready so I can approve
it before we go live at nine.
Collins heads back into the oracle office.
ANGLE -- JESSICA AND RUSS
So, it looks like we'll be working
together. Maybe you could give me a
hand with my stories. ...Or maybe
They smile at each other and walk off.
INT. ORACLE OFFICE - SAME
Collins files some papers. Elizabeth enters.
Mr. Collins, I was looking at the
list and... I didn't get any
position at all?
There's still room on the crew...
Yeah I know, but... --I thought my
tape was really great.
Collins has a hard time looking Liz in the eye.
Elizabeth, I don't know what to say.
I expected more from you.
Collins returns to his filing. Elizabeth is crushed.
INT. DAIRI BURGER - NIGHT
Todd joins a down Elizabeth at a booth.
How was the crew meeting?
Fine. But Patty's tripping a little
on this director business.
ANGLE -- AT COUNTER
Winston, Enid, and other members of the crew sit at the
counter. Patty THWACKS a riding crop against the
ANGLE ELIZABETH AND TODD'S BOOTH
How are you doing?
I don't know. I really I thought it
was some of my best work, and Collins
acted like it was nothing.
Hey, you're still the Oracle's star
writer. No one can take that away
Thanks, Todd. It seems you and I are
the only people who care about
HUB-BUB from another part of the Dairi Burger. Elizabeth
and Todd turn to look.
ANGLE -- FRONT DOOR
Jessica enters on the arm of Russ, who looks particularly
delicious in his muscle shirt.
Jess exchanges greetings and laughter with the various
SVH students as she leads Russ to Todd and Elizabeth's
Hi Lizzie. Have you met Russ?
Hi Jessica. Yes, I have.
Well, just wanted to say hi. Don't
forget to watch me tomorrow.
Jessica and Russ sit at a nearby booth. Elizabeth turns
Is it wrong to be jealous?
In this case, I think it's required.
Elizabeth tries to finish her fries, but can't.
I'd better get home. I feel a murder
Todd puts his arm around Liz, walks her to the door,
opens it for her. She takes one last look at Jess before
exiting. Todd follows her out.
ANGLE -- JESSICA AND RUSS' BOOTH
Lila plops herself down beside Russ.
Mmmmmm. College man...
(squeezes Russ' muscular arm)
I'm Lila. which Greek god are you?
Russ recoils. Jess glares at Lila.
Lila. Russ and I are trying to talk.
Russ, is it? Rrrrrruss. Sounds kind
of like an ANIMAL, doesn't it?
Jessica kicks Lila under the table. Lila stifles a YELP,
looks at Jessica.
Your nose is shiny.
It is?? It is not! Is it?
If you're lying...
Back in a flash...
Lila rushes off to the Ladies' Room.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
Well, there's a Warhol movie at the
campus theater tonight--
Really? They made a movie of that
show with William Shatner?
That's Tek War. Warhol's the painter
who did the soup cans ... ?
...oh right, I love him!
Jessica takes Russ' arm. She waves like a Beauty Queen
as she passes her friends and exits.
ANGLE -- COUNTER
Patty continues talking to her crew. Winston is fixated
on Bruce, who celebrates at a booth across the diner with
his Jock buds.
...and I'll want a medium speed crawl
for the credits. Hello, Winston?
You in this time zone?
Winston sees Bruce go into the Men's Room.
Hmm? Oh, sorry. Nature's calling.
Winston hurries toward the Men's Room.
Why did he take a camera?
INT. DAIRI BURGER BATHROOM
Winston enters, looks under the toilet stalls. He sees
Bruce's Italian loafers. Winston stands before the
stall, aims the Camcorder.
Okay Patman. Let's see how you like
the whole school seeing you without
The door to the bathroom opens. Winston quickly stands
at a urinal, hides the camera, and whistles. Behind him,
we see Bruce exit the stall, then the bathroom, and a man
in dark clothes take his place in the toilet stall.
Winston peeks back, sees the door to the bathroom shut.
Winston sets the Camcorder to record. He gets in front
of the stall, aims the camera, then:
(kicking stall open)
INT. ELIZABETH'S ROOM - MORNING
Elizabeth is in bed, fast asleep. Jessica enters in a
panic, shakes her.
Liz! Wake up! You've got to help me
with my stories!
Your stories? Don't tell me you
didn't write them--
Of course I wrote them!
Elizabeth rolls over to go back to sleep.
...okay, so maybe I didn't write them.
(rolls back over)
It's not my fault! I didn't get in
until three. How was I supposed to
know a movie called "Sleep" would be
eight hours of a guy lying there
Why didn't you just walk out?
And miss something? Liz, please.
Look, here's a pen--
Why can't you do it?
I have to put on my makeup.
You've got two hours!
I know it'll be tight. But I can
Sorry, Jess. It's your assignment.
You'll have to do it yourself.
...Oh, I get it. You wanted the
anchor job for yourself and this is
your way of getting back at me.
You'd let your own sister go down in
flames just to satisfy your petty
Jessica looks accusingly at Elizabeth. Elizabeth can't
deny the grain of truth in Jessica's manipulation.
...Alright. But this is the last
time I bail you out.
You're the greatest! And afterward,
I'll tell Collins you wrote the
stories. He'll see how good you are,
and he'll let you write for the show.
We can be a team!
Liz glares at Jessica as she exits. Elizabeth sighs ...
INT. ORACLE OFFICE - EARLY MORNING
Elizabeth gets up from the computer, crosses to the
WHIRRING printer. She sees the stack of audition video
cassettes. Elizabeth picks hers up, looks at it, tosses
it into the wastebasket. She spies Jessica's tape.
Elizabeth pops the tape into the VCR. The monitor above
CRACKLES to life, plays a segment of Elizabeth's audition
tape. Puzzled, Liz pulls the tape from the wastebasket-
sure enough, it says "Elizabeth Wakefield.,,
Then the ugly truth hits her. Elizabeth's eyes narrow...
INT. TV STUDIO -- MACHINE ROOM - MORNING
The place is a madhouse as Students prepare for the
broadcast. Jessica waits anxiously at the door, eyes
peeled for Liz. She grabs a passing Student.
Have you seen Elizabeth?
The Student shakes his head.
Ten minutes, people!
Jessica, I need to proof your copy.
Sorry, Mr. C. That irresponsible Liz
is still Xeroxing.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - SAME
Patty sits at the Switcher, wearing a headset. She
checks the monitor feeds from Cameras One and Two.
...okay, looks good, Camera One. Camera
Two, zoom out. ...Camera Two?
Hello, Camera Two? That's you, Todd.
INT. STUDIO FLOOR
Todd, behind Camera Two, wakes up.
(springs to life)
INT. MACHINE ROOM - BY DOOR
Jessica paces. Elizabeth enters.
Elizabeth! I knew you'd make it.
Where are the stories?
Elizabeth hands Jessica some papers. Jess looks them
These are blank...
They are? Silly me. I must've
inadvertently exchanged the stories I
wrote with the ones you wrote.
Is there supposed to be some kind of
irony going on here?
How can you stand there and pretend
you don't know what I'm talking
You knew how much work I put in, you
knew how much I wanted to be anchor!
And still you switched tapes just so
you could get the job!
Fifteen Seconds! Where's Jessica?
...okay, okay. I admit it. It was
dishonest, selfish, and inexcusable.
Now, if I can just have the stories--
What's going on here?
It's about my tape--
I told you, Elizabeth, my decision is
final. Now stop interfering and let
Jessica get to work.
Collins herds Jessica into...
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Collins opens the door to the Studio Floor.
But the stories--
No time to proof them now; I'll just
have to trust you. Now go! We're
Collins pushes Jess into...
INT. STUDIO FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
Jessica scrambles to take her place behind the News desk.
Four, three, two ...
The Floor Director points to Jessica as Camera One's
tally LIGHTS. Jess freezes like a deer in its glare.
She manages a smile.
Hi ... I'm Jessica Fakewield--
Wakefield-- with the oracle On Air
News ... So... Here we are. Our
first live broadcast... Yep. Live.
No editing to save our butts, no sir.
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Patty, Collins, and Winston.
This doesn't look good...
Elizabeth enters, looks at the monitors. Collins looks
to her. She shrugs.
INT. STUDIO FLOOR
Jessica's starting to sweat. The Floor Director gives
her a "HURRY UP" sign.
Oh! The news. Yes, well, a lot has
happened this last week. Bunches …
(forces a smile)
Why there's so much going on, you
just can't keep track. Heh...
...Yep, a whole lotta news.
And now, with the details, my sister
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Collins looks to Elizabeth. He's obviously figured out
I should have known. Now go get
Collins pushes Elizabeth into...
INT. STUDIO FLOOR
Elizabeth assumes a professional demeanor as she walks
behind the news desk. Jessica stands to let Elizabeth
take her place.
Thank you, Jessica.
Jessica exits. Elizabeth looks into camera.
Good morning Sweet Valley. Here's
the news you need to know...
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
We HEAR Elizabeth continue with her report as Jess enters
and quietly shuts the door to the stage. Collins comes
up to her.
We should talk...
Jessica swallows hard.
INT. CONTROL ROOM - SAME
The Program Monitor shows Elizabeth, but the text below
her still reads "Jessica." Patty calls to Winston.
Winston. The graphic still says
"Jessica." Type in a new card for
By your command ...
Winston sits at the Character Generator, types. At the
Switcher, Patty takes the new text.
You're up next, Bruce.
Winston glares at Bruce through the window. A light goes
on in Winston's head. He re-patches some cables, types
into the character generator.
INT. STUDIO FLOOR - SAME
Elizabeth finishes up.
...And now, with his take on the
news, Bruce Patman.
Camera Two's tally light goes on, Camera One's goes out.
Thank you Jess-- I mean Elizabeth.
Hello fellow Gladiators. As if you
didn't know, I'm Bruce Patman. And
this is the Patman Perspective...
INT. CONTROL ROOM
Bruce's face fills the program monitor.
Where's his card?
Coming right up...
Winston smiles, punches a button. "The Patman
Perspective" appears below Bruce's face. Then the text
starts moving, revealing ...
See how my nostrils flare when I
(punches buttons, to no effect)
INT. STUDIO FLOOR
Bruce continues his commentary. Jessica kneels beside
Elizabeth, I'm so sorry. I know that
what I did was really low--
What did Collins say?
I have to talk to the Principal.
Elizabeth looks back down at her copy.
Can't say you don't deserve it...
Don't be mad. This is the first time
you didn't let me walk all over you
and get away with it. You finally
stood up to me. And the only reason
you did is because I behaved so
You're saying I should be thankful?
Jessica ventures a smile.
(a beat, then smiles)
You're a nightmare.
INT. CONTROL ROOM
on the monitor, Bruce continues obliviously as text
continues to scroll under him. Patty struggles to pull
Winston away from the character generator.
BRUCE (ON MONITOR)
...well I don't care what people
think! America is beautiful! I
love America! And to those who
don't, I say love her or leave her!
America is the name of my sheep...
END OF ACT TWO
Bruce walks along the hall. Students point and GIGGLE
behind his back. Bruce is puzzled. Marco accosts him.
Oh man, Bruce. You were great today!
Those jokes running under your
editorial were a howl!
Dude, come on! America's the name of
That's funny stuff!
--Well, of course. I wrote it.
Bruce looks around, spots Winston LAUGHING with Enid.
Winston smiles, waves. Bruce is livid.
Winston dashes off. Bruce runs after him.
INT. STUDIO FLOOR - DAY
Winston locks himself in the control room. Bruce enters,
POUNDS on the glass.
You're history, egg-head!
Through the glass, Winston laughs at Bruce.
END OF SHOW
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